I was worrying all night and couldn’t fall asleep until 1:30 in the morning. It was almost lunch by the time I woke up and I still didn’t hear from Scott. I made some breakfast and when I was heading out the door to find Scott, the phone rang. It was “Little Tots” daycare not far from the Pet Shop. They wanted to hire me for about three or five days a week and have me come in today. The children weren’t there today so I would just meet my boss and co-workers. I was so excited. This was the job I wanted.
I made my way to the daycare and stayed for a few hours. My boss and co-workers seemed so kind! I couldn’t wait to start work on Monday. It was almost four and I remembered Scott, I had to find him. I thanked the ladies at the daycare and was out the door.
I was walking along the sidewalk towards the hospital when I noticed a man crying on the park bench. It looked like Scott, but my legs wouldn’t move toward him. I tried, but it was almost like a force was keeping me away. Hearing him cry broke my heart. Right then I knew it was Scott.
Suddenly, it was as if the city went silent and time was frozen. It was so painful to watch him suffer. He was such a tough kid and he deserved more, much more. I wanted to help him, but there was nothing I could do. I finally broke the force and ran to him. He opened his arms and I wrapped mine around him. I squeezed him as hard as I could and we just screamed. We cried and we cried. We were broken, but together we were strong.
After a while we sat on that park bench and listened to the city traffic. Scott confessed that he had been keeping some important things from me, but he didn’t want to explain details so he jumped to the end. His father passed away this afternoon.
“I knew he was going to die. I just didn’t want him too. He wanted to meet you, but if you got to know him then it’s just someone else you’d have to say goodbye to. I couldn’t do that to you. I’m sorry.” Scott wept.
“Don’t apologize. You were just trying to do what you thought was best for me. I’m really sorry about your father Scott, I really am. We’ll be okay. We’ll stay strong together. Only one year left of school and I’m done.” I barely held back my tears.
“You’re right, I think I should start going to counselling too, but I’ll have to figure out some way of getting more money.” Scott said.
“Oh, yeah! By the way… I got a job working at “Little Tots” today for three or five days a week.” I said.
Scott just smiled; we both knew if we worked together we could get by.
Chapter 9
Not a day went by without thinking about my family. Working at “Little Tots” reminded me of Jordan with all the young boys so full of life. I had to cut back to three days a week since school started last fall and Scott picked up some extra shifts. Thankfully things had been working out and we’d officially started dating.
Sarah, the foster mother, had helped us out quite a bit too. She invited me to a few youth events at the community church, but I wasn’t interested until one night she just wouldn’t drop it, so I went. That night was life changing. I became a youth leader at the church and worked with children and teenagers. A few months later, Scott got involved and things just kept getting better. People from the community were very interested and helped us when we were struggling.
Graduation was coming up and I decided I wanted to become a social worker. Scott and I were looking into moving to Edmonton, where he could get more pay and I could go to school with a part time job. We finally got in the door from work, when the phone rang. It was Sarah, she was inviting us to her home, (big deal, I’d never set foot in Sarah’s home and Scott was rarely asked to go over.) She wanted to celebrate with a graduation supper next weekend after the ceremony. I excitedly accepted the invitation and thanked her. Scott and I were exhausted so we said goodnight and went to our rooms.
Chapter 10
“Katherine! Hurry up! You’re going to be late for your ceremony!” Scott yelled.
“I’ll be out in a minute Scott!” I knew how excited he was for the graduation, the supper at Sarah’s house and our future. I took a deep breath and walked out of the washroom to find Scott waiting in the porch.
“You look beautiful,” he said breathlessly.
“Thanks.” I blushed afterwards.
I was wore a strapless red and black cocktail dress with black heels. My hair was highlighted and curled.
After Scott finished taking pictures, we rushed to my graduation ceremony, which lasted two hours. Then we took more pictures with some friends and classmates. It was 7:30 and we had to be at Sarah’s house by eight o’clock. Scott wanted to make a surprise stop somewhere though, so, he blindfolded me and led me down the sidewalk. Ten minutes later he stopped me and removed the blindfold. We were standing in the middle of the city in front of the park bench.
Scott gazed into my eyes smiled and took my hand.
“Katherine, the moment I met you at that restaurant I knew you were different. You are the nicest, strongest and most confident women I’ve ever met. We’ve been there for each other, when things were tough, but together we got through it and I’m ready to start a new life. I want us to start a new life together.”
Right then Scott was on one knee and digging in his jean pocket. His hand came out holding a ring case with a gorgeous ring inside of it.
“Katherine, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
At this point I was speechless. My heart was just filled with happiness. I pulled Scott to the ground looked into his eyes, and we kissed. Scott and I were engaged.
We were running late, as usual, but arrived at Sarah’s on time. When I stepped into that house I just felt so welcomed with community friends all around and the foster children all about. We told everyone our news and all night we were congratulated.
Scott and I were thanking the last guest for coming and saying goodnight when I noticed a blue wallet sitting on a side table by the staircase. I excused myself to take a closer look at the wallet. When I reached the staircase, I looked down and starred at it. The wallet was small and blue. With white letters on it and spelled “JORDAN”. I picked up that blue wallet and a tear slid down my cheek.
“Excuse me, but can I have my wallet?” a young boy’s voice asked.
I knew that voice. Scott was walking down the hall towards me as I turned around. This little boy had dirty blond hair that flipped out around the ears, adorable dimples, the brightest smile and big blue eyes. I looked at this little boy with tears and a smile.
“Katherine?” the boy asked holding back his own tears.
“It’s me buddy. It’s Katherine.” I cried as I knelt down to hug him as hard as I could.
“I couldn’t find you, the hospital people didn’t believe me! I missed you!” he yelled.
“It’s okay, I’m here now. I won’t ever leave you again!
“Katherine, what’s going on?” Scott asked confused.
I turned around to face Scott with Jordan in my arms and cried “Scott meet Jordan, my brother.”
Scott just smiled and joined our hug.
Chapter 11
A few weeks later, Scott and I had custody over Jordan and we sued the social agency. That summer, after our small wedding, we moved to Edmonton and Scott got a job working construction, like he always wanted. I was accepted into the University of Alberta not far from Jordan’s daycare where I worked some evenings and weekends and we finally started new. Jordan is my miracle.
***
Friends Forever
Hannah Aitken
He simply… “appeared” there one day, by the creek near my house. The creek was my secret hiding spot, and a sort of time killer, as I hadn’t started school yet. It was a spot where I could be alone with myself and the world around me. However when he “appeared” I seemed to have no problem with that.
We simply sat on the edge of the creek, a pregnant silence around us. It was awkward, but felt strangely inevitable, almost as though our meeting couldn’t have happened any other way.
As quiet as he was then, the more we met at that creek, the less we couldn’t stop talking. We met there more and more frequently, and eventually it progressed into every day.
This continued for four months, only stopping for bad weather, or busy days when we couldn’t make it, until one day he just plain didn’t show up. I figured he was simply late, or maybe had some chores to finish before his mother would let him play outside, but after waiting for hours, he hadn’t arrived.
I waited for what seemed like forever, until I eventually saw him running towards me through the towering green trees. “Took you long enough,” I said with a laugh.
“Sorry, I was feeling a bit dizzy, so my mum took me to outpatients. Of course, there was a three -hour wait, and then it took another hour for the doctor to tell me that there was practically nothing wrong. Because that’s just how life works,” He smiled with his usual happy-go-luckiness. A sudden silence fell.
“What would you do if I never came back?” I was surprised by his sudden question.
“What?”
“If I never came back, what would you do?”
“I dunno… I guess I’d be sad.”
“We’re friends, right?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Forever?”
“Yeah.”
“Promise?” I looked over at him, him already looking at me. He looked almost worried.
“Yeah, friends forever.”
We sat in silence until he finally got up, saying he had to go home. In my mind, I continued to wonder why he’d ask such a strange question. It wasn’t normal for him to ask such a thing.
Once again, we continued our usual routine without fail. After a week I’d forgotten about his unusual question. Things were normal; I was going to start school in a month. I’d never been inside a school before; I had no siblings, so I never went to any concerts or fairs. I wondered if my friend would be in the same class as I would be. We were the same age after all. I decided I’d ask him.
When I got to the creek, he hadn’t arrived yet. I knew that I had probably just gotten there before him, but still, the events of last week couldn’t help but pop back into my mind.
Maybe he’s just sick I thought to myself. If he was sick last week, he could easily get sick again. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well all week, and decided to go back to the hospital.
Once again, after hours, he hadn’t arrived. This time, I knew where he most likely was, which calmed me down a bit. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder. There couldn’t be anything wrong, could there be?
Of course not. Soon I’ll see him running through the trees, apologizing and smiling like he did last time.
He never came.
It became dark, I knew I’d have to go home soon, but I didn’t. I waited, but I couldn’t leave. This was important. We’re friends, friends forever. I promised.
The sun continued to set, and my worry grew more and more. Eventually I couldn’t wait anymore. I had to go home, I was tired and Mum will be worried.
Although I didn’t want to, I left for home. Different possibilities of what happened rushed through my head. I couldn’t decide on a theory, this was just too out of place. I would just have to ask him myself.
Again the next day he never showed up. The longer I waited, the more worried I became. I wanted to leave, but at the same time I didn’t. I knew I had to wait for him; it was too important.
He never showed for a week, but I still did every day. That week eventually turned into two weeks, what was two weeks turned into four weeks, and finally, this turned into a month of coming everyday to wait for him, him never coming. I couldn’t just stop coming, I knew he’d come back, he had to, but the question he had asked me before still rang in my mind
‘What would you do if I never came back?’
I arrived the next day, still hoping to see him there, sitting by the creek, waving at me to show me something he’d found in the water. Instead, a woman sat there, most likely in her late thirties. She looked up at me. I examined her face. She looked sad, like something was missing.
“Are you Campanella?” she asked.
“Yeah, that’s me. Who are you?”
“I’m your friend's Mum, the one you’ve been meeting here.”
“…Where is he? “
“…Campanella.”
“Yeah?”
“…He’s not coming back.”
***
The Ballad Of A Suicidal Man
Jacob Lava
June 2nd, 1984
Dear Diary,
I feel even more pathetic than usual writing this. I don’t know if others can help me, let alone myself. The dreams are becoming more prominent now, and much more vibrant. I can always see myself, there, crying, in a cemetery usually, sometimes in my own bedroom. And her.
She glows like an angel.
She touches my hand.
She smiles.
I cry some more.
She turns around, pulls the gun from the waist of her pants.
She turns her head, raises the gun to her temple.
Our eyes lock.
And she smiles, this horrible, sad, beautiful, helpless smile.
And then she pulls the trigger.
She falls, and I scream.
Death comes, with a black cloak. Scythe in hand.
“Don’t you lay a finger on her!” I run towards her, but my feet feel like lead, and I can’t lift them up. I scream, an agonized, fed up, pathetic, hopeless, terrified, torn up screech.
He bends over, picks her up, with his horrible cold skeleton hands, and walks away.
And then Death looks up, removes the hood covering his face, to reveal a terrifying burnt face, as if from a terrible fire, and horrible hollow pits for eyes.
And he tilts his head ever so slightly.
And then he smiles at me.
And then I wake up.
But the nightmare doesn’t end.
***
June 3rd, 1984
Dear Diary,
Her name was Melissa.
She was so, so beautiful.
Loved everything, and everybody.
She blessed this world for 29 years with her presence.
Do you want to know why she killed herself? Do you want to know what possessed her to shoot a piece of lead through her brain?
She thought she was useless.
She told me every day.
And guess how many damn things I did about it?
Her husband.
Her soul mate.
Did nothing.
Till death do we part.
Well, I can tell you myself, Death may have parted us, but I’m bringing him back to get us back together.
***
June 4th, 1984
Dear Diary,
Rehab isn’t helping.
I’m smoking, snorting, and injecting more crap into my body than I ever had before. I figure if I don’t know what’s going on in the present, I won’t know what happened in the past. Does it work? As long as I have a loaded syringe in my hand at all times, yes.
Incredible, isn’t it, almost killing myself with drugs eases the pain
Imagine just ending it all.
I’m having those thoughts again.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
***
June 5th, 1984
Dear Diary,
And now, it’s been 6 months after my wife…
Left.
I can’t even bring myself to say the word.
But good news.
So me and my mates today go out for a pint of beer or two and go to see a music group that came into a bar and I spy this lovely lady looking at me from across the room. Her name’s Chelsea. She’s 31, around my age. No children. Single. Not even a prostitute.
Things are going up.
So we talk a little bit and she doesn’t really seem like your average bar doll,
but a rather civilized woman. She also has this beautiful American accent that I love. So we decide that, as she’s opposed to me bringing her home to my place tonight, to go for a nice dinner the next night. So her and her mates and mine and my mates go our separate ways, and here I am writing this down on this antique old desk that I have, holding this nice little shopping bag full of overpriced brand name dress shirts, and I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.
***
June 6th, 1984
Dear Diary,
And after an incredible night, I think that this relationship will go far.
And I can’t wait for more.
Its nearing midnight and I’m standing on the tiles surrounding in ground pool, lighting a little bit of weed up to clear my mind. My eyes and brain are glazed over with alcohol, and seeing and thinking straight is becoming difficult and I wish I could stay in this moment forever.
Because I’m having a feeling that I haven’t felt in a while.
Hope.
***
June 8th, 1984
Dear Diary,
I didn’t write last night, sorry, but I was... Filling out my... “prescriptions”.
And I got completely wrecked.
I figured that if I’m going to get crunked I’d save you the pain of listening to me.
But today I went out with Chelsea again, and like the other times, I had a great night. Perhaps I can consider starting my life up again. Getting my old job of being lawyer back. And I very well could, I was the best in the business. Maybe even get off drugs.
Well.
One thing at a time.
***
June 9th, 1984
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe it.
I don’t deserve this kind of life.
She left.
She’s gone.
I’m alone.
Again.
She didn’t even bother to stop by and say goodbye.
I’ll pretend to give you my heart.
And then when you're least expecting it.
I’ll take your heart.
And break it.
So full of pain, my life has been
Taken away, my wife has been,
Now I had a second chance