“What about Zia?” asked Prinny. “And what about me?”
Clara looked at Zia, who still held her broom. “Welcome, Zia,” she said. “I see how pink and fresh your house looks, and you look pink and fresh, too. You will be the Royal Housekeeper. When I have my palace, you will keep it clean for me.”
“Yes, Queen Clara,” said Zia, flattered that her work had been noticed and relieved that she wasn’t going to be asked to learn anything new. After all, she had just learned how to swim.
“What about me?” Prinny asked again. “What is my job, Queen Clara?” She looked up into Clara’s smiling face. Really, she thought, there couldn’t be anyone else so beautiful in the whole world, or with so much gold in her dress.
“You will be the Royal Princess,” Clara announced.
“A real princess?” Prinny asked.
“The Royal Princess,” Clara repeated.
“Teddy, did you hear? Zia? I’m a princess!”
Nobody had anything more to say. Nobody else went home. They waited quietly, feeling important. Having a queen was already very different from not having a queen.
Clara let them all wait in silence for several minutes, which is what royalty and other important people do. After they had waited long enough, she bent down to speak quietly to Sid, who raised his head high to announce Queen Clara’s first rule: “Every morning, first thing, everybody has to come to hear Queen Clara’s orders for the day.”
Then, in case anyone didn’t understand, and because he liked the important way his voice sounded, he repeated the main points of the announcement. “First thing. Every morning. Everybody.”
“What if Prinny is sick and needs to stay in bed?” asked Zia.
“The rule can say: Unless someone is sick,” Clara agreed.
“If Prinny is sick in bed,” Zia said, “I need to stay with her.”
“The rule can say: Unless someone is sick and someone else needs to take care of them,” Clara agreed.
“What if I have my muffins in the oven?” asked Umpah. “They’ll burn and be ruined.”
Clara refused this request. “You have to plan things so that doesn’t happen. You’ll have to wait until after the morning audience to start your muffins. Or you can get up earlier and bake them before.”
She waited, in case anyone else had a request, then bent down to say something to Sid. He announced: “Now Queen Clara will give the orders for the day.”
Clara stood up. “Today, Teddy will think about how to build my palace here under the beech tree, at the center of things.”
Sid swiveled his head around to look at her. “But—”
Clara raised her queen’s eyebrows. Nobody ever interrupts queens.
Sid interrupted anyway. “But the beech is where my burrow is. There’s no room for a palace.”
Clara said, “The palace will have four rooms. There will be a throne room for large assemblies, such as the morning audience. There will be a kitchen, a bedroom for me, and a special small anteroom beside the bedroom door where the Royal Consort will stay to guard my sleep.”
“But—” said Mr. B, who was sitting on a red cushion at the left-hand side of the throne.
Clara leaned down to speak to Sid.
Sid announced: “Rule Two is: Nobody will speak unless the Queen has given them permission.”
“Does that mean ever? All day long? No matter where we are?” Teddy wondered. He turned to ask Umpah, “Does it mean no matter who we’re talking to?”
“She can’t mean that,” said Umpah. “That would be a very silly rule.”
“Good point, Royal Thinker,” said Clara. “Rule Two will begin In the royal presence. Announce that, Royal Announcer.”
Sid announced, “In the royal presence, nobody will speak unless the Queen has given them permission.”
Clara continued. “The palace will need a terrace in front, for the royal umbrella, and a garden, too, a queen’s garden with roses and jasmine and a few flowering fruit trees.” Then she sat back down on her throne.
They remained silent.
Eventually Clara spoke again. “When the palace is built, the Royal Housekeeper will keep it clean.”
She sat quiet some more, perhaps waiting for Zia to say But. Zia, however, remembered Rule Two.
It was Mr. B who protested. “But,” he said. She raised her eyebrows at him. He said it again: “But, Queen Clara.” He had been balancing in his head his pride at being the Royal Consort against his desire to wander around wherever he liked, to live now in one house, now in another, moving on when he wanted to.
“I didn’t give you permission to speak, Royal Consort,” said Clara, adding, “and I don’t plan to.”
“Hunh,” grunted Mr. B, thinking that maybe it wasn’t such a great thing to be Royal Consort, reminding himself that he already had a title, which was more than anybody else had had before this queen person arrived. Moreover, she had chosen him as Royal Consort because he had a stupid ruffly ruff around his neck, which was a bad reason as far as he was concerned. Nevertheless, for the time being, he settled back down on his cushion beside the throne. Mr. B didn’t do hasty things.
“Call Umpah forward,” Clara said in a royal voice.
“Umpah, come forward,” Sid called, although he too was having some doubts. It seemed to him that the Royal Announcer never got to mention his own thoughts.
Umpah stepped up to the throne. “Yes, Queen Clara?”
“For today’s meal I want jelly doughnuts and a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting,” Clara said.
“Yes, Queen Clara,” Umpah said. He had made apple-spice muffins that were already cooling on a rack in the kitchen window of the red house, and so apple-spice muffins were what he would give Queen Clara to eat.
“Wait,” said Clara. “I think the chocolate cake should have vanilla frosting, because the sun will be hot today and vanilla is cooler.”
“Yes, Queen Clara,” Umpah said again. What was the point of arguing?
“It’s very hot,” Prinny said. “Isn’t it hot, Zia? Aren’t you hot, Mr. B? I am.”
Zia whispered to Prinny, “The rule. You have to ask if it’s all right to talk.”
“Oh,” said Prinny. She thought for a little, making sure she remembered; then she asked, “May I say something, Queen Clara?”
Clara spoke to Sid.
“Prinny may speak,” Sid announced.
“I’d like to go swimming,” Prinny said. “It’s hot and I can swim and so can everyone. We could all go swimming.”
This rule Clara announced herself. “Rule Three is: There will be no going into the water.”
“But—” said Prinny.
“But—” said Teddy.
“But—” said Sid and Zia and Umpah.
Mr. B moved quietly around behind the throne, snuck swiftly around behind the pink house, and then, safely out of sight, hopped into the bushes.
Clara stood up and told them, “This is Rule Four: There will be no saying But every time a new rule is announced.” She sat down again on her white wicker throne with the curved back and looked over her subjects. Before anyone said anything else, she leaned over to speak to Sid.
Sid announced, “You may leave the royal presence now to go back to your jobs.”
After not very long, Queen Clara told Sid that he should call the subjects together again because it was almost time to eat and she had the eating rules to announce. Zia brought her ice cream cone with her, which made Clara cross. She spoke quietly to Sid.
“Rule Five,” Sid announced. “Nobody can eat something unless it has first been offered to the Queen. And to the Royal Announcer, too?” he asked hopefully, but Clara shook her head. “And Rule Six is: Everybody will eat together.”
Umpah brought out a table and chairs and set plates on the table. When they had each been given two muffins, Sid announced, “Rule Seven: Nobody can start eating until Queen Clara has taken her first bite.”
As the meal went on, more rules were
needed, for eating everything on your plate and for not leaving the table until the Queen rose from her seat, for saying “Thank you for the good muffins” to Umpah and for telling Queen Clara where you were going. “How can I be a good queen if I don’t know where my subjects are?” Clara explained.
When the table had been cleared, so that Zia could wash the dishes and Umpah could carry the chairs and table back into his own kitchen, Mr. B came wandering back. “Where’s my muffin?” he asked.
Clara told him, “The meal is over.”
Mr. B protested, “I’m hungry.”
“Me too,” said Sid. “There were only two muffins on my plate. That’s the rule,” he explained to Mr. B. “Everybody has two muffins.”
“But I only want one,” said Mr. B.
“Rule Four,” Sid reminded him.
“But I really want the one I want,” said Mr. B, who couldn’t be bothered to remember rules.
A queen doesn’t want any of her subjects to go hungry, so Clara called Sid over to tell him Rule Thirteen. “Rule Thirteen is: If a subject is hungry, he may request the Queen’s permission to ask Umpah for a special snack,” Sid announced.
If Mr. B hadn’t been so very hungry and so very fond of apple-spice muffins, he would have gone off for a nap. But he was and he was and so he answered, with a bow, “May I ask Umpah for a special snack, Queen Clara?” with a bow.
When she graciously gave permission to Mr. B, Sid didn’t wait one second before he asked, “And may I, too, Queen Clara?” and she had to say Yes to Sid as well. A queen has to be fair.
Then Prinny asked, “What about me?”
“You have permission to speak,” Clara answered, pretending that Prinny had followed Rule Two.
“What if I’m hungry? Because I’m a she, not a he,” Prinny explained. “Or Zia, because Zia always likes to be eating ice cream.”
“The rule is both for hes and for shes,” said Clara.
“But it says he,” Prinny explained, not following Rule Four either.
“You’ll understand when you grow up,” said Clara.
“Will I still be a princess then?” asked Prinny. “Isn’t a princess supposed to grow up to be a queen? When I’m Queen, what will you be?”
Clara was growing tired of these questions, so she announced, “Rule Fourteen: The Queen may sometimes ask the Royal Thinker to answer questions.” Then, putting this new rule into immediate use, she said “Teddy, you explain it to Prinny.”
“You do need a rule that says she as well as he,” Teddy said.
“That’s advice. You’re not the Royal Advisor,” Clara reminded him. “You’re the Royal Thinker.”
“I think you need another rule that says she and he,” Teddy said.
“I told you to answer the questions the Royal Princess asked and you only answered part,” Clara said. “You aren’t obeying. The Royal Announcer hasn’t yet returned, so I will announce Rule Fifteen myself. Rule Fifteen is: You must obey the Queen.”
Teddy didn’t like the sound of that, but Prinny got so excited she started jumping up and down. “When I grow up to be Queen, you’ll have to obey me! That means you have to do everything I say,” she explained, in case Teddy didn’t understand. “It means you have to give me everything I want, right when I want it.”
“Not every princess grows up to be a queen,” Clara told her. “Not every queen used to be a princess. There is no rule saying a princess has to become a queen.”
Prinny thought about this, just for a little. She decided, “When I am Queen, I’ll make it a rule.”
Teddy sighed. “There are already too many rules and this is just the first day we’ve had a queen.”
“Rules are important,” Clara said. “A queen is supposed to take care of her subjects, and how can she do that without rules?” All of a sudden, she was feeling rather stubborn about things. “Rule Sixteen,” she announced sternly. “The Queen can make as many rules as she needs.”
“But—” said Prinny.
Clara held up the palm of her hand to stop Prinny from saying more. “Rule Four. Rule Two,” she said crossly. It was a lot of work being a queen. Clara hadn’t realized how much work it might be. “You may speak,” she told Prinny, but not very graciously.
“I wanted to say, I can’t remember so many rules,” Prinny said.
“Oh,” said Clara. She sighed, and made up her mind to be kind to this young and silly subject. “That’s too bad. Which ones can’t you remember?”
Prinny sighed.
That afternoon, while Clara reigned from her throne, Teddy asked permission to ask Umpah to push his wagon down to the beach so he could think.
“Think about how to build the palace?” Clara asked.
“Maybe,” Teddy said.
Umpah was wise, so he waited until they were at the waterside to ask, “Think about the rules?”
“Maybe,” Teddy said. But Umpah’s being so wise had cheered him up, and he told him, “To think my own thoughts.”
“I’ll come back in a little while,” Umpah said, and he went to make gooseberry muffins.
Only Sid and Prinny remained near the throne, so Clara sent Sid to bring Zia to see her and talk about arranging the pillows for the royal bed. But Zia told Sid she was too busy just then with sweeping. Sid hadn’t been ordered to come right back, so he decided it wasn’t disobedience when he slid up off the hill to visit Peng. That left just Prinny with Clara.
Nobody had seen Mr. B since he had hopped away to ask Umpah for a muffin. Prinny suggested to Clara that he might be at the beach, having a nap in the life ring. She offered to go look for him, but Clara said No.
“A queen always has someone with her,” she explained. “And besides, remember Rule Three.”
Prinny had forgotten it.
Clara had not. “Rule Three is: No going in the water.”
Prinny had been thinking that if she found Mr. B on the beach, she could have a quick swim—to cool off, and to feel free and floaty. She knew better than to ever go swimming alone, but if Mr. B was there, she wouldn’t be alone.
Prinny was ready for a recess from being a good princess. “But I—” she began.
“No saying But,” Clara reminded her. “Rule Four.”
Prinny sighed.
A long time passed—or what felt like a long time—and nobody came before the throne, not the Royal Announcer or the Royal Thinker, not the Royal Consort, and certainly not the Royal Advisor. The Royal Cook and the Royal Housekeeper stayed busy in their own houses. Prinny and Clara sometimes caught sight of them through an open window. Once Umpah looked out the door and waved. If Zia enjoyed an ice cream cone or two—and Prinny suspected that she probably did—she enjoyed it where she couldn’t be seen.
Prinny sighed.
Clara was growing cross, and there was only Prinny there to be cross at. “Rule Seventeen,” she announced. “Nobody can sigh where the Queen has to hear it.”
If she couldn’t speak and she couldn’t sigh and she couldn’t leave, there was only one thing left for Prinny to do. So that’s what she did. She began to cry.
The first thing Clara thought when she saw tears running down Prinny’s flowery blue cheeks and heard her gulps was what Rule Eighteen was going to say. She wanted her subjects to like her, and she knew they should like her, but all they wanted was to go away and leave her alone. She felt crosser than ever, and she started to cry too.
So there were two of them, the Princess and the Queen, weeping at one another on a sunny afternoon in the shade of the big, fringed umbrella.
After a while, Prinny sniffled into silence, and so did Clara. Prinny asked, “Why are you crying, Queen Clara?”
“Because I have to work so hard and nobody wants me to be Queen, and I don’t see what you have to cry about.”
“I want to go swimming and I want to go home. I don’t want to have a queen,” answered Prinny, crying again, and even more loudly this time.
Clara started weeping loudly too. “Not even
me?”
“Not even you,” Prinny wailed.
Of course all of this weeping and wailing brought Zia out. “Don’t cry, Prinny,” she said, and, “Don’t cry, Queen Clara. Have a hanky.” She gave them each a pink handkerchief.
Umpah had heard the sad sounds too, and he went to the beach to fetch Teddy. Teddy called Mr. B from his nap in the life ring, and being a bunny, he arrived first on the scene. Mr. B didn’t mind the weeping, but he was curious. “What’s going on?” he asked Zia.
Zia had no idea.
“What’s going on, Queen Clara?” Mr. B asked.
“You want me to be Queen, don’t you?” she asked him, wiping at her eyes with the handkerchief. “Remember, Mr. B, if I’m not Queen, you won’t be the Royal Consort.”
Mr. B yawned. “Is Peng here?” he asked, as if Clara were not waiting for his answer to her question. “Shouldn’t I go get him?”
Clara started to cry again.
“Oh dear, oh dearie me, Queen Clara,” said Zia. “Would you like a nice ice cream cone?”
Prinny blew her nose and said, “An ice cream cone would make me feel much better. Especially a chocolate one.”
“Do you want me for Queen?” Clara asked Zia. Before Zia could answer, Clara said, “You do, I know you do.”
“Well,” said Zia, who didn’t want to tell the truth but also didn’t like to lie. “Would you like chocolate ice cream too, Queen Clara?”
“I’ve been thinking,” Teddy offered.
“What about you?” Clara asked him. “Do you want me for Queen?”
“I’ve had ideas,” Teddy said. He didn’t answer the question either. He knew his answer would hurt her feelings.
“You don’t!” wailed Clara.
“I had good ideas,” Teddy promised.
Nothing happened for several minutes and nothing was said. Then, as Mr. B returned, with both Peng and Sid behind him, and Zia returned, carrying two chocolate ice cream cones, Clara blew her nose in the pink hanky and took a deep, brave breath. She stood up in front of her throne and announced: “I want me to be Queen.” Then she sat down again. The gold trim of her dress glittered in the sun. She licked her ice cream cone and glared at them all.