"There's nothing to be sorry about. We'll talk later."
Sabrina didn't feel any better, but she knew she had to hush. Rylan didn't need her going to pieces right now. He had a baby to pray for. Without saying another word, she turned and started toward Eliza's. She calmed down enough to remember to pray, and then for the first time was able to watch Rylan Jarvik at work.
"You're warm, aren't you, little one?" Rylan spoke to the tiny lethargic infant in his hands, his touch amazingly gentle. "I'm just going to hold you right close to me, Mirabel, and pray. You just rest while I pray for you.
"Father in heaven, thank You for this little person You created in Your image. You have a plan for her, Lord. You know how long You want her days to be on this earth. You knit her frame together, and You can see every beat of her tiny heart.
"Thank You for sending Mirabel into Eliza's life. Help Eliza to trust You, Lord, even if You don't plan to heal her daughter. Help us to be wise, Lord, and to know how to help Mirabel. Help us to trust You for the mighty God You are and to understand that Your ways are perfect. In the name of Your Son, I pray. Amen."
Rylan looked up at the women who sat side by side on the ancient davenport but kept the baby in his arms.
"I'm going to find Doctor Ertz, Eliza. Mirabel has got to be seen."
"She's so hot, and she's stopped crying."
"I'll find him," Rylan said again, his heart fairly certain this child was dying. He handed the baby back to her mother and without letting himself look at Sabrina went swiftly from the house.
"I didn't think he would come," Eliza said the moment he left.
145 "I knew he would. I wasn't sure he would be home, but he was." Eliza looked at her and then down at the baby. She began to cry softly, and Sabrina had never felt so helpless in all her life.
"I'll come by the mercantile tomorrow and check on you," Rylan said after he and Sabrina had walked the short distance to her stairway. There was little moon, but the sky still managed to glow with stars. It's immense beauty, however, was lost on this couple tonight.
"You were wonderful tonight," Sabrina said, almost as if she hadn't heard him. "Yu knew just what to do and say."
"Thank you for coming to get me."
"I wish I could do more. I wish I knew what to do."
"I think you did very well. And Doc Ertz was optimistic. He got Mirabel to eat, and he said that will make all the difference."
"She's so little," Sabrina said next, and Rylan heard the thickness of her voice. "I don't want her to die."
"I don't want that either."
A sob broke in Sabrina's throat-she couldn't help herself.
"Come here, Sabrina," Rylan said gently. "Let me give you a hug."
The moment Sabrina felt his arms around her she was lost. She sobbed against the front of Rylan's shirt, her heart feeling as though it would break. Rylan's hold was undemanding. He kept control, but he had to resist the urge to press a kiss to the top of her head and cuddle her close.
"This is when trust and faith are tested," Rylan said quietly, bending a little toward her ear. "The same God who saved you has a plan for this little family. We can choose to believe that and take comfort in that fact."
Rylan felt Sabrina nod against him and put his hands on her shoulders. He couldn't see her very well but still held her a little apart from him and asked if she was all right.
146 "I think so. Thank you again for coming."
"Try to sleep
Sabrina did not look her best on Tuesday. Jessie noticed her pale face and puffy eyes right away but didn't say anything for a while. The girls were at each other off and on, and not until after dinner did Jessie catch Sabrina alone.
"Are you all right?" the mother of two asked.
"I didn't sleep well. My neighbor's baby is sick, and I kept thinking about her." In truth, she had prayed most of the night away but didn't know if Jessie would understand this.
"Is the baby going to be all right?" Jessie asked.
"I don't know. I checked this morning, but they were both asleep."
Jessie wasn't sure what to say. She knew who some of Sabrina's neighbors were, and it was tempting to ask why she got involved. At the same time, her heart was touched. On days like today when all the girls did was fight, she was ready to sell them to the first available customer, but in truth she knew she would never make it if anything ever happened to one of her daughters.
"Jessie," Sabrina had been watching her, and had to ask, "where is the girls' father?"
"Gone."
"Dead?"
"No, just gone."
"Were you married?"
"We were, yes."
"How long has he been gone?"
"Since I was expecting Clancy. It was so early I didn't even realize it."
147
Sabrina didn't react but she wanted to. This man, whoever he was didn't know he had a second daughter. At moments like this, she didn't think men were worth it, but then she remembered Rylan last night and the gentle things he'd said to Eliza. And the new mother seemed to listen. Just having Rylan come in her time of need had seemed to change the way she'd viewed him.
"I think that's the mail," Jessie suddenly said, looking up and seeing Kalib Heydorn from the train station. He never dallied but dropped the mailbag on the counter and went on his way.
"Do you want me to get Sabrina offered, but Jessie took it.
Sabrina kept sorting the cooking utensils and tinware that had been pawed through over the weekend until Jessie returned with a letter for her. Not even needing to ask, Sabrina knew it was all right that she read it. Getting comfortable on the rocker out front, she opened Callie's letter.
[ We are so excited that Rylan is still there. We had heard that he'd moved on, but that a good man had taken his place. How wonderful to hear he's still there. Danny loves Ryalan's father, Donald. They've always been very close and admired each other, even when they've been out of touch.
Your apartment location sounds like a challenge. I will admit that I did not picture you living in that part of town, but I think you can do this. Your heart is tender, but you don't want that life again. You never wanted that life, so I don't fear your going back to it.]
148 "Well, now." Rylan was speaking before Sabrina could finish. "This looks like hard work."
Sabrina smiled as he took one of the other rocking chairs. Technically they were for sale, but Sabrina doubted that anyone would ever buy. Indeed they looked as though they'd been there for years.
"I got a letter from Callie," Sabrina said. "They had heard you'd moved on."
"I can see how that might happen. Communication is tough enough face-to-face. I can understand how facts might get crossed over that many miles."
Sabrina didn't think he had any trouble communicating but felt foolish saying so. Rylan watched her for a moment but didn't want to stare, or rather he didn't want to be caught staring, so he turned his gaze to the street. The first thing he saw was the sign for the Boar's Head.
"Have you seen much of Bret lately?"
"Not since the day I painted."
"What happened then?"
"I made the mistake of cutting through the alley."
"What did he have to say?"
"The usual, come in and sit down out of the heat or have a drink."
"How did you meet him exactly?"
"I was very new in town and went down the alley. He came out a door, and I made the mistake of asking if there were apartments for rent in the building. He's been trying to talk to me ever since."
"I thought you made your feelings pretty clear that first day. You would think he'd take the hint."
Sabrina agreed, not catching on that Rylan had witnessed some of the interaction.
"I probably should get back to work," Sabrina said. She'd had plenty of time to read the letter, and Jessie was paying her. "Did you see Eliza this morning?"
"I stopped in, but they were both asleep. Did you go?"
149
> "I was just there. Mirabel is pretty warm again."
Sabrina's heart sank, but she was glad she'd been warned. "I'll see you later," Rylan said as he stood.
Sabrina thanked him for coming and slipped back inside. Just as soon as she had an excuse, she hugged Clancy, glad the little girl did not notice the stricken look in her eyes.
"I brought you some soup," Sabrina said to Eliza after work that night. The front door to the house was open, but the room was still very warm.
"I'm not hungry."
"I'll leave it here," Sabrina said, putting the bowl on the table. "How is she?"
The baby was back in the basket, looking smaller than ever. Eliza didn't answer but sat looking down at her daughter, her face drawn with fatigue.
"Where are your people, Eliza?" Sabrina asked.
"Redmond, almost to Billings."
"How long have you been gone?"
"A long time."
"Were you a working girl there?"
"No." Her voice became thoughtful as she remembered. "I followed my man. His name was Lem Hawkes. He had dreams of finding copper, lots of it."
"What happened to him?"
"He was killed at the mine, penniless, and I was a long way from home."
"Is your family still in Redmond?"
"My father is. I got a letter from him last year." Eliza looked down in the basket. "He doesn't know about Mirabel."
"When Mirabel gets back on her feet, you've got to go back. He'll be pleased to know he's a grandpa."
150 Eliza didn't answer. She just looked back down at the baby. Sabrina could hardly stand it. She glanced around and spotted the bowl of soup.
"Here," Sabrina said, taking the bowl, finding a spoon, and handing it to the other woman. "You won't be able to feed Mirabel if you don't eat."
The other woman took the spoon in hand. Sabrina watched her, and while Eliza ate the soup, begged God for help. Only a few minutes passed before, very quietly, she began to tell Eliza her story.
151
"THISIS LOOKING GOOD," Chas said to Rylan when he got there on
Wednesday to help with the paint. Philip Leffers was working on some trim on the far side, but for the moment, the two men were alone.
"It's coming along," Rylan agreed. "I don't know how many more days I can get from Pete, so I'm glad it's going fast. I have to work tomorrow to fill in for today."
"Is he still trying to sell the livery to you?"
"Yes, mostly when he's been drinking, but I know he's still serious."
"It's too bad you don't have a half dozen strapping big sons to help you run the place. That would make it a light load."
"I think you forget that I'm 26. It's not possible for me to have any strapping big sons."
"Nonsense," Chas teased. "With your size, they'll be strapping big sons by the time they're five."
Rylan laughed. He was used to comments about his size, and in truth it never bothered him. But lately he wondered if a certain woman would even consider marrying a man as big as he was.
"How is it going with Bri?"
152
"I was just thinking about her," Rylan admitted. "How does a man find out if a woman would welcome his interest?"
"That's a good question. It's a little different for each woman. I don't want to be cryptic, but I think you'll know."
Rylan nodded, the paintbrush still moving.
"I was watching her on Sunday," Chas said. "You were talking about the miracle of the resurrection, and her eyes were filled with wonder. And then afterward, she took Nellie in her arms, and when Heidi wanted attention, she pulled her close as well. It was pretty special to see."
Rylan shook his head. "I can't even look at her when I preach. She lets her guard down completely in church, and I can read every look of wonder, hope, and conviction."
Philip joined the other men just then, so they dropped the topic, but Rylan knew that Chas would get back to him. He was that kind of friend.
"Guess what," Jeanette said when Sabrina got to work on Thursday.
"What?"
"We're all caught up, and I think you can take a day off." "Oh," Sabrina said. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Are they painting today?" Sabrina questioned, and Jeanette was thankful she'd checked. She took in the fatigue on the younger woman's face and knew she was doing the right thing.
"No, they're not. I was thinking you might want to rent a buggy from the livery and head out to see Cassidy. She told me you had a great time last Sunday."
Sabrina stared at her. Such a thing never occurred to her, but it would be fun indeed.
"I've never done that before."
153 "It's not hard. Cassie used to go and visit Meg every Wednesday. Pete or Rylan will set you up with a rig, and Holden Ranch is straight out of town on the left. You can't miss it. As soon as you get going it will all be familiar."
Sabrina didn't know what to say, but then Jeanette didn't need her to comment. She saw her to the door and watched her move down the street, a satisfied smile on her face.
Rylan had not made it to the forge yet. He had cleaned a few stalls and spent time trying to calm a frightened mare who was trying to kick her way out of the box. He had to shoe her before the day was out, and he wasn't exactly thrilled with the prospect.
He wondered afterward how long she'd been standing there but didn't ask. Sabrina had come in the door, much as before, and stood over by the three- and six-cent hooks.
"Hello," Rylan said, headed that way.
"I'm here to rent a rig," Sabrina said, not quite believing it herself.
"Is that right?" Rylan said, just fighting a smile and wondering how anyone could manage to look so confident and uncertain at the same time. Not to mention beautiful. The light blue dress she was wearing was not something he'd seen before.
"I'm going to see Cassidy."
"That'll be fun. Have you driven a buggy before?"
"Not for a long time."
"I think I have just the right one."
"I don't want the horse to run away with me," Sabrina said, not willing to take for granted he would know this.
"I don't think that will happen," Rylan said, already planning to send Candy. She would be calm even if her tail were on fire. "Jeanette said Cassidy used to do this."
"Every week."
154 Sabrina made herself stop talking then. She was a bit panicked about it all and wondered if she shouldn't just go and see Heather and Becky. Rylan had not actually done anything yet. It wasn't too late to change her mind.
"I'm not sure," she started, and Rylan stopped. He'd been pulling the rig out into the wide alley between the stalls but set it down and came back to her.
"About driving the rig?"
"Yes, and Cassidy is not expecting me. I don't even know if she's home."
Rylan almost said he was certain she was, but he made himself walk to the door. He looked up and down the street and smiled when he saw the wagon.
"I think you might find someone from the ranch at the mercantile. Why don't you check there, and then you can ride out with whoever is going home."
Sabrina looked down the street the way Rylan had, but she didn't see anything in particular. She already felt foolish for bothering him and didn't want to ask what he'd seen.
"Do I owe anything for your time?" she asked instead.
"Five dollars," Rylan said, his face utterly serious, and a laugh escaped Sabrina before she could stop it.
Rylan's own smile appeared before he spoke again.
"Will you do me a favor? Stop back and let me know if you need the rig."
"Certainly I will, and thank you, Pastor Rylan."
"You can do me another favor while you're at it, and just call me Rylan."
"Oh," Sabrina said. "What do I call you now?"
"Pastor Rylan."
"And you call me Sabrina, don't you?"
"Um hm."
"But everyone else calls me Bri."
"I think I've noticed that."
155 "Why is that?"
Rylan didn't answer. He stepped out in front of the livery and shouted, "Cassie! Hold up a minute."
Cassidy brought the wagon to a halt and waited when Rylan waved to her. The livery man went back to the lady waiting behind him. "Are you going to tell her you want to come to the ranch, or am
I?"
"No, I can ask," Sabrina said, but she didn't sound very certain. Rylan walked with her to the wagon and greeted his old friend. "You're in town early, Cass."
"Aren't I, though," she agreed with a grin. "How are you, Bri?" "I'm fine. Are you very busy today, Cassidy?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary," Cassidy said and then caught on. "Are you free to come out?"
"I am. I was just about to rent a rig, but I wasn't sure I could drive it."
"I used to do that every week when I visited Meg," Cassidy said, smiling at the memory.
"Oh," Sabrina had a sudden thought, "if I don't rent a rig, someone will have to bring me back to town."
"What time do you want to come back?" Rylan asked before Cassidy could volunteer.
"After supper, Ry," Cassidy put in, "and you come out and join us."
"Thank you, Cassie. I'll plan on that."
Before Sabrina knew it, she was in Cassidy's wagon and going with her to finish her errands in town. She was halfway to the ranch before she remembered that Rylan had not told her why he called her Sabrina.
I have to take a nap had been Cassidy's words after dinner. Trace had gone back out to work, and she had explained that everyone
156 told her to baby herself on this first child. After the first one was born, you always had someone else to take care of and not always time for a nap.
Sabrina did not mind the time alone. Cassidy had already showed her the stream that ran through the property, and with a blanket in hand she was headed down there to relax and dip her feet into the water. It was wonderful to take her stockings off; the air felt good; and when she put her feet into the water, it chilled her but was worth it.
Sabrina looked around the ranch, the Bitterroot Mountains all around, and wished for her Bible. But that only lasted a few minutes. Rylan had been urging them to think on Scripture, to know it, and have it always with them in their hearts.