Sabrina's silence bothered Jeanette. Her neck was bruised, but it was more than that. Some of the light had gone out of her eyes. She looked weary-completely spent-but would not close her eyes to sleep.
Jeanette and Heather helped her with gentle efficiency, and when Sabrina was cleaned up and tucked under the covers, Jeanette opened the door for Rylan to enter. She took a position at the corner of the bed and listened.
"Hi," the big man said, keeping his voice low and taking the chair that had been pulled up close to the bed. "I just have one question for you: Was it Zeke?"
181 "Yes."
Rylan nodded and would have spoken again, but Sabrina beat him to it.
"I'm sorry," she said, having held the words inside for so long that it hurt.
"Why are you sorry?"
"It's all my fault."
"Why do you say that?"
"You all wanted me to move back here, and I wouldn't. I'm sorry." Rylan picked up her hand. It was scratched and bruised, as was her arm, but he held it gently.
"No one thinks this is your fault, because it isn't. I don't want you to think like that anymore."
"I'm more trouble than I'm worth."
The words did funny things to Rylan's heart. He shook his head no and said, "Nothing could be further from the truth. Will you do me a favor?"
"Yes."
"Go to sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow."
"You're coming back?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure you have time?"
"I'm sure."
"Don't come if you don't."
"All right," Rylan agreed, knowing they had bridges to cross over the way she viewed herself and this incident.
"Rylan," Sabrina said with the last of her energy, her throat very sore.
"What?"
"Thank you."
For just a moment Rylan took her hand in both of his. Sabrina watched him and then closed her eyes. Rylan heard her sigh and relinquished the hand. He and Jeanette exited the bedroom together and closed the door.
182 Jeanette stood in the hallway, her hand to her mouth in horror over Sabrina's face.
"What was that man thinking?"
There was much Rylan could have said to that, but he said only,
"I need to let Nate know that it was Zeke Masters, since he doesn't
know any of the details. Why can't Doc get here tonight?"
"He's not in town. His neighbor said he'll be back tomorrow." "I'll be by in the morning if that's all right."
"Certainly. Anytime."
Jeanette saw him to the door before going back to check on Sabrina who was very much asleep.
Sabrina woke in the night, not sure how she could hurt in so many places at one time. A low moan escaped her as she tried to shift against the pillow, and she wondered how close she'd come to dying. It wasn't the first time she'd been hit, but it was the worst.
Sabrina knew she would not get back to sleep unless she could relieve herself, but it was taking some courage to move. She had resigned herself to the pain when the light of a lantern came through the doorway.
"I thought I heard you."
It was Heather. She set her lantern on the table by the bed and looked down at Sabrina.
"Did I wake you?" Sabrina asked.
"I'm a very light sleeper, and I sleep with my door open so I can hear Theta. Do you need to get up?"
"Yes."
Sabrina stifled more than one groan climbing from the bed, even with Heather's help. It was a wearying ten minutes before she was tucked back under the covers, and as though it was not the middle of the night, Heather sat down on the side of the bed and looked at her.
"I think you were very brave tonight."
183 "Why do you say that?"
"Unless I miss my guess, you fought back."
"I did, but he was angry, and that gives a man strength."
"Don't go back, Bri," Heather begged. "I'm afraid for you. I'm trying to trust in God for your safety, but I don't know if my heart can take your going back there."
"I won't, Heather. I don't know where I can find a place I can afford, but I won't return."
"We'll help you," Heather said, knowing they would do everything they could to keep her with them as long as possible. "Maybe Jessie knows something."
"I just checked with her," Sabrina said.
Heather could have cried. She was already looking for another place to live, but it hadn't been soon enough.
"Can you sleep now?" Heather asked.
"I think so. Heather?"
"Yes."
"Do you think Timothy would have time in the morning to go 'to the apartment and get my Bible?"
"I'm sure he will. I'll ask him."
Heather slipped out after Sabrina thanked her, planning to be up early to check on her, but when she got to Sabrina's room, it was empty.
"Lord, You have a plan for Rylan and Bri," Chas said quietly. He and Rylan were in Chas' living room, the children still asleep. "Help us to trust You for this. None of us would have chosen this road for Bri, Lord, but Your ways are perfect. Your glory is the goal, Father.
"Give Rylan wisdom to think well and trust You. He might be tempted to rush in and try to be more to Bri than she needs. Help him to remember that she needs a pastor and a friend right now
184 more than anything else. She might not be thinking well about this attack, and Rylan can't minister as he should if he doesn't guard his heart carefully.
"Turn this to Your glory, Father. Let Bri's light for You not be dimmed in this community. Help her to trust as she should and understand how much You love Zeke and how much he needs our prayers."
When Chas was finished, Rylan began to pray. He started by thanking God for Chas and his good reminders about what was important. He finished by asking God to guard his heart for other more serious reasons. This was new territory, and in truth he did not know how Sabrina would respond. If she was angry at God over Zeke's attack, it would uncover a side of her that he'd not seen before.
Rylan did not think she would be angry, but he also could recognize wishful thinking in himself. He wanted Sabrina to be the one, and in such cases blindness could be a major temptation.
The men talked for a while after they prayed, Rylan thanking Chas for meeting with him so early and on such short notice. When they had finished, Rylan started for the door. He hadn't counted on Miranda, who expected him to stay for breakfast and was already bringing mugs of coffee to the men. He stayed, reminding himself that Sabrina was probably still asleep and would not be up to company for a few hours.
Sabrina stood by the stove in the kitchen, wrapped up in a blanket, trying to heat water for a bath. She was sore, very much so, but also desperate to gain some sense of normalcy.
"Well, now," Heather said quietly, "I didn't expect to see you up."
"I need a bath," Sabrina said. "I'm ignoring the pain to have one."
185 Heather began to help, going into the small room off the side of the kitchen they all used for bathing. The warm weather meant she did not need to make a fire, but she set towels out and put some cold water into the tub while the rest of the water heated.
Becky eventually arrived, and contrary to her normal response, she didn't scold but took over for Heather. In less time than Sabrina expected, she was on her way to being clean, even washing her hair. She didn't try to look in the mirror, knowing that would make her feel worse. She was certain to be even achier when she was through, but at the moment getting clean was all that mattered.
"Now, little miss," Timothy spoke from across the kitchen table, not overly mindful of the fact that Sabrina was a few inches taller than he was. "Where will I find your Bible?"
That had been an hour earlier. Becky had gone with Timothy, and they had brought back much more than Sabrina's Bible. Sabrina was now dressed and sitting under the window in the small parlor, her Bible in her lap. The house was alive around her, and from time to time someone would check on her. Sabrina had not wanted any
one to wait on her, but she'd used all her energy to dress, so Heather had to brush her hair and Becky made her breakfast.
Zeke had hit her so hard on one side of her face that a tooth was loose, but Sabrina had managed some porridge on the other side. The juice she drank was the most satisfying, and at the moment she was enjoying a cup of coffee. She was reading in the book of Joshua about Rahab when Nate came.
"I'm glad to see you up, but you look like you should be in bed," that man said, taking a seat, his face showing the concern he felt over the terrible bruising and scratches on Sabrina's face and neck.
"I must admit I have felt better, but I'm not sure lying around will help."
"Can you tell me what happened?"
186 Sabrina did so, not mentioning that all of this could have been avoided. She didn't know if he understood how biased his deputy was, but she wasn't going to be the one to inform him.
"Had Zeke been drinking?"
"I haven't had enough contact with him to be sure about that. I don't recall smelling any alcohol."
"We're still looking for him," the sheriff said.
"Who is 'we'?"
"My deputies and I."
Sabrina was tempted to say something then, afraid that his one deputy would not actually arrest Zeke Masters even if he had the chance, but she kept her mouth shut. The sheriff didn't stay much longer, and that was fine with Sabrina. She finally admitted to herself that she was completely spent and returned to her room to sleep.
"How did you get involved last night?" Sabrina asked Rylan when she saw him later that morning. She had slept for nearly two hours and then gone downstairs to find him there. She also learned that Jessie had visited.
"Timothy and I were moving a davenport for Mrs. Cornwall when Crystal saw us."
Sabrina nodded, but she was trying to remember how Crystal got involved. It wasn't like her to lose details, but the night before was fuzzy in places.
"How are you feeling?" Rylan asked, still surprised that she was up and dressed. It was true that she had come into the room very slowly, but he hadn't expected her to be on her feet at all.
"Not so great, but I think I came close to getting killed, so in light of that, I can't complain."
"I assume he wanted to know about Eliza?"
"Yes. I wouldn't tell him anything, so he just kept hitting me. Why does a man do that?" Sabrina suddenly added. "Why does a
187 man feel so attached to a woman that he'll kill to find her, but he's not kind to that woman? He uses her and hits her."
"It's sad and strange, isn't it?" Rylan replied. "You would think from the way he acted that he never wanted to see her again, but if she was the one thing in his life he had control over or believed he had control over, he wouldn't want to lose that."
Sabrina nodded. He was suddenly talking her language. Having control over things or even believing she did gave her confidence and security. Danny had been working with her about giving that up, but it had been coming slowly.
"Are you angry with Zeke? Or anxious about him?" Rylan asked, reminding himself that she needed a pastor right now and a friend- nothing else.
"I don't think I'm angry. Men like Zeke are confusing to me, but the idea of his needing control makes perfect sense. I won't tell you I'm not afraid of him because I am-he was strong-but I don't feel overly anxious about it."
"Why is that?"
"Danny taught me that there's no point in worrying about what might happen. He said I just needed to be ready to handle everything God sent into my life, and if an event arrived that I wasn't ready to handle, I would learn and know better next time."
"That was good counsel. He would be pleased to know how well you listened."
"I hope Zeke doesn't come back and find me again," Sabrina suddenly said, forcing herself not to touch her aching face. "Is it all right to hope for that?"
"Certainly. No one would wish to have this repeated. I'm hoping the law will find him and he won't be on the streets again." "I have been anxious about that," Sabrina admitted.
"What exactly?"
"That Deputy Varner won't arrest him if he finds him, and I'll be stuck facing him again."
"Did you tell Nate about that night in his office?"
188"No. I pictured him not believing me, and I was too tired to argue the point."
"So he doesn't know all of this could have been avoided?"
Sabrina shook her head no. She was going to ask Rylan if he would tell him, and Rylan was going to tell Sabrina that he would do exactly that, but Doctor Ertz had finally arrived.
Ale
"Jeanette told me you were here this morning. Who was at the store?" Sabrina asked Jessie when she came after work.
"I just didn't open on time, but after I did I couldn't get away with Jeb gone."
, "It was sweet of you, but you didn't have to do that. I understand you have a store to manage."
Jessie looked at her as if she was talking nonsense, almost feeling the bruises on her friend's face herself.
"What am I going to do with you?" Jessie finally asked.
"I was going to ask what you're going to do with Jeb and me both gone."
"I'll manage. Just get better."
Sabrina wanted to say it looked worse than it felt, but she had finally seen herself in the mirror and realized that wasn't true. She looked and felt as if she'd been beaten. The bruises and scratches on her body were not so painful, but her face still looked as bad as it felt. If she didn't want to answer dozens of questions, she would be stuck inside for some time.
"How are the girls?"
"They miss you and ask about you."
"I miss them too."
"I said you were sick, so be prepared to fend off those types of questions."
It bothered Sabrina that Jessie would lie to the girls, but part of her understood. How did one tell a child about such an act of
189 violence? And it wasn't as if she felt good. Sick was probably a pretty close description.
The women talked for a bit longer, and in time Sabrina sensed that Jessie was angry about the attack. She understood how easy that would be and wanted to tell Jessie that her heart was in a completely different place, but they had already talked for a while, and the girls were with a neighbor.
Sabrina saw her friend off, praying for her but knowing that any conversation about how she was dealing with Zeke would have to wait.
"When did you report this?" Nate asked Rylan, searching the paperwork on his desk.
"Last Saturday night. Deputy Varner didn't find it plausible because Sabrina didn't come directly after the attack."
"Let me get this straight," Kaderly began. "Before Sabrina was attacked on Monday, she was knocked out by Zeke, reported it, but was not helped?"
"That about sums it up."
"Why didn't Sabrina mention it to me when I spoke with her?"
"She feared you wouldn't believe her concerning your own man. Had I realized she felt that way, I would have told her otherwise."
Nate stood, every line of his being angry. He had seen Sabrina Matthews' battered face, something that could have been avoided. They might not have found Zeke-they hadn't found him yet-but at least they would have known.
"Thank you, Rylan," Nate said, clearly done speaking about it.
Rylan turned for the door. He was not worried about the deputy hating him. He had failed to do his job and must answer for that. Rylan was only thankful that Token Creek's sheriff cared too much to let it pass.
190 "I could do some handwork for you, Jeanette," Sabrina said from her seat in the conservatory on Friday morning. Theta was not with them. "Bring some home with you if you want me to."
"All right," Jeanette agreed, wanting to lead Sabrina's life but knowing she couldn't. It was still taking a lot out of Jeanette not to order the younger woman back to bed.
"When my face heals I'll head out and start looking for apartments," Sabrina said next. "I think if I actually go and do the asking myself, it might be b
est."
"Did Jessie have no leads?" Jeanette asked, feeling her heart speed up a little. She told herself she could not be desperate to keep this girl here, but she was.
"No. I just checked with her."
"You do know we're in no hurry to have you leave?"
"That's very sweet of you, Jeanette, but I can't stay here forever. You don't let me pay rent, and you won't let me help."
Jeanette was not about to change her standard on that issue, so she tried a new tack.
"We'll just check with Rylan about what you should do," Jeanette suggested, and could see by the slight narrowing of Sabrina's eyes that this wasn't going to work.
"Is Rylan in charge of my life now? I didn't know that."
Jeanette was working hard to find something to say when Rylan walked in and rescued her.
"Well, now." Sabrina's voice was deceptively soft with anger. "I'm glad to see you. Evidently you have all the answers."
"All right," Rylan said, moving carefully and forcing himself not to look at Jeanette.
"Jeanette speaks as though you're in charge of where I live. I don't recall when that happened."
Rylan did look at Jeanette then, who gave him a condensed version of their conversation. He would have tried to explain to Sabrina what Jeanette had meant, but Sabrina wasn't done.
"What no one seems to realize is I'm not safe anywhere. Zeke wants
191 information that you and I have. He's not going to go after you, but if he wants it badly enough, he'll find me wherever I live."
This had not occurred to Jeanette, but Rylan calmly nodded his head.
"Jeanette did not mean that I was in charge, but I did mention to her one day that there might be options we haven't thought of. No one is going to force you to take an apartment you don't want. I'm not taking over for you. You can handle this yourself. But you can also understand that we're not anxious to see you hurt again."
Sabrina nodded, feeling foolish. She had been upset over nothing, but it hadn't felt like nothing. It felt as though Jeanette was ready to say or do anything to keep her there, and that made no sense to Sabrina. She was a busy woman with a busy life, and Sabrina didn't know why she would insist on having her there to complicate things.
"I'm going to get something to eat," Jeanette said, coming to her feet. "Is anyone else hungry?"