14 "I tried to stop for a while:' Sabrina admitted after a few moments of silence, wanting to talk about it with this woman. "I got work at a hotel in the kitchen and serving tables. But the owner kept at me. I told him no, but he wouldn't leave me alone. He touched me or backed me into a corner every day we worked together, and when his wife found out, she fired me. I gave up then and went back. I just assumed it was my destiny."
"That's not true. You have a choice, Bri. We're giving you a choice."
This had come from Danny, and Sabrina now stared at him. For some reason, his marrying a former prostitute gave her more hope than she had ever dreamed of. Not that she was looking to marry, but what she was seeing in Danny and Callie had never occurred to her. Before today she would not have believed that a woman could walk so completely away from prostitution that a stranger meeting her would never know.
"You don't have to decide right now," Callie said, thinking she was about to get up and leave, but Callie had read Sabrina's look wrong. The younger woman's look was not a stubborn one but one of concentration. She didn't love her life, but it did make her independent, something she enjoyed.
"What happens now?" Sabrina asked, realizing she had no idea.
"If you want to continue to discuss Scripture, we can," Callie informed her. "If not, Danny has to work for a little while this morning, and I have baking to do."
Sabrina blinked. Once again, this couple had managed to surprise her. Prior to meeting them she would have said she was past surprising, but it just continued to happen.
"Do you have more questions?" Danny asked with no sign of impatience.
It was on the tip of Sabrina's tongue to ask if these people really believed God cared about what she did, but instead she asked Callie, "What will you be baking today?"
"I'll probably start with bread and then move on from there,"
15 Callie answered, as though they'd known each other for years. "Do you want to help?"
Sabrina managed a nod. Danny pushed to his feet, told them to enjoy themselves, kissed Callie goodbye, and went on his way. Sabrina wasn't given time to comment or ask questions about what would happen next. Callie asked her to start working on a muffin recipe, and because it had been years since she'd made muffins, she kept her mouth shut and forced herself to concentrate.
Sabrina was strongly tempted to pinch herself. She had no idea where Saturday had gone. The hours had flown by. Baking, seeing visitors, washing dishes, and preparing meals had left little time for talking about God. And now it was Sunday morning and Sabrina found herself in a church, a man speaking up front, Callie to her right, and Danny on Callie's other side.
Sabrina tried to listen to what the man was saying, but it wasn't working. Her eyes kept sweeping the room, afraid she would see someone who recognized her. A word floated to her here and there, but she wasn't even watching the man up front. Things all over the room distracted her, and when she wasn't watching the other people in the room, she kept glancing down at Callie's open Bible.
She was a little slow to stand up when it was time to sing a closing hymn, but this time she heard some of the words that spoke of God's holiness and gracious love. Sabrina didn't try to sing but noticed that Callie's voice was not perfect. It dipped in places and wobbled a bit, but no one seemed to mind.
Not until she was back at the Barshaws' buggy did she realize the mistake she'd made. By not listening to the sermon, she didn't even have questions to ask Danny and Callie. Not that her hosts seemed to notice. They talked about general topics on the way home and never once asked her what she thought of the sermon.
16
"I have to head home," Sabrina said on Sunday afternoon. Dinner was over, and she stood in the living room to tell her host and hostess.
"Will you be returning?" Danny wanted to know.
"Do you want me to?"
"Yes, we do," Danny answered.
"Why do you want to go back?" Callie asked.
"I need some things from my place."
"Why don't we take you?" the older woman suggested. "We can help you carry whatever you need."
Sabrina hesitated but managed to ask, "Have you forgotten where I live?"
"Not at all," Callie said. "We're not worried about it, so you shouldn't be either."
"And if you get there and decide you don't wish to return with us," Danny put in, "no one will force you."
Sabrina agreed, although if pressed she could not have said why. The three left a short time later.
17
"MOVING OUT, RAVEN?" a woman asked when she found Sabrina's door open and that young woman packing a bag.
Sabrina looked up to find her landlady, a woman she knew only as Lil. She was not a madam, but neither was she above directing men to the women who lived in the building. She expected the rather high rent payment on time, but if a woman wanted to move, Sabrina had never seen Lil interfere.
"For a few days," Sabrina answered.
Lil's brows rose with admiration. "Good for you. I hope it pays well."
Sabrina said nothing-unsure how to answer-and was glad when Lil walked away. She hoped what she was doing would pay well too but knew her hopes had nothing to do with money.
"Hello." Callie's voice could be heard in the hallway, passing the woman who owned the building.
"I might have a room opening," Lil began, but stopped. Sabrina was staring at the door when Callie entered.
"I thought you might want help," Callie offered.
"Did she say something to you?"
18 "She started to, but I didn't encourage it."
Sabrina never thought about Callie being able to hold her own in such a place, but she looked calm and confident.
"Let me tell you something," Callie began, keeping her voice low for privacy. "I was going to wait in the buggy with Danny, and then I realized there's something you don't know. You can pack it all today, Bri. You can make a complete move right now."
Sabrina shook her head ever so slightly, and Callie stopped. "Okay," Callie agreed. "What can I help you carry?"
"Just that bag," Sabrina said as she pointed, realizing how little of her clothing would fit into the Barshaws' world.
"All set?" Callie asked, and Sabrina nodded. The two made their way quietly to the buggy. The ride back was quiet as well. However, it didn't last. Sabrina waited only until they were back at the house to open her mouth.
"What if you're wrong?" the young prostitute asked. "What if God doesn't want me? You can't really speak for Him. No one can."
"We aren't speaking for Him," Danny explained, "He speaks for Himself in His Word, and that's why we believe He Wants you."
"Where does it say in your Bible that God wants Sabrina Matthews?"
Danny went to the kitchen and brought the Bible out. He sat down and turned to the New Testament and began to read. "This is what Romans 5:8 says: 'But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Danny stopped and looked at her. "Did you hear yourself in there?"
Sabrina stared at him, not wanting to answer.
"Us, we, and us," Danny answered for her. "God's love toward us, while we were sinners, Christ died for us. I can take you to other verses that talk about the fact that He died for all of us in the world. That's why I know that you and I both fit into the we and us."
19 "You saw where I live," Sabrina said quietly. "I know you mean well, but I don't know how it can be for everyone."
Danny didn't speak again until he'd turned to the book of John. He had these verses memorized but still read them for her. "Listen to John 3:16 and 17: 'For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.' The world, Bri," Danny emphasized quietly. "The forgiveness, salvation, and eternal life that God offers is not just for some but for all who believe."
Sabrina said n
othing, and Danny knew he could not press her. He did, however, hand his Bible to her and a small scrap of paper. Sabrina took it without thinking, but she looked surprised.
"Sometime today I want you to read two different chapters in there. I've written them down for you. I think you need to see the way Jesus deals with women who sin. He never tells them it's all right, but He does offer kindness and forgiveness. Will you read them?"
"I don't know how to find anything in the Bible," she argued, not sure she could even open the cover and not have God strike her down for such insolence.
"There is a list of the books at the front," Danny said, fighting a smile. "Find the book and then the chapter. You'll figure it out."
Danny didn't wait to see what she did. They had been talking in the front parlor, Callie standing at the edge of the room. When Danny turned to leave, his wife went with him.
Sabrina stared down at the book, her heart pounding. Did this man really know what he was doing? What if he was condemning her to death?
Well, it will be on his head, Sabrina thought to herself, her eyes glaring at the door where Danny exited. Let him explain to his neighbors and the people at church why there's a dead prostitute in his living room!
But all this bravado died in a hurry In truth, Sabrina wanted to read the Bible. She'd seen it in Callie's lap during the church service and
20
been fascinated. She sat down on the sofa but only stared at the book on her knees. With heart pounding and hands shaking, she eventually opened it. The list of books was at the front, just as Danny had said. Consulting the small paper, she found John 4 and began to read.
All time and space fell away as she read the story of a woman. She was a Samaritan woman who was a little way outside the city drawing water from a well. The story said that Jesus, who was resting by the well, spoke to her and asked for a drink. The woman didn't know it was Jesus, but as they talked He began to tell her things about her life, immoral things that Sabrina figured she probably wanted to keep hidden. That He'd even spoken to her, a Samaritan, was a surprise, but she didn't run away, not even when she realized He knew everything.
Sabrina had to stop and think. The woman was talking to Jesus and didn't even know it. She was standing with Jesus and He knew all about her. He knew she was living with a man and had been married several times.
A shudder ran over Sabrina. Having God know about the life she was living bothered her no small amount. The woman at the well had spoken freely to Jesus, never imagining that He knew every detail of her life.
How do I talk to You? Sabrina asked God, fear filling her that she even dared. I'm not like this woman. I know that You know.
Making herself not think about it, Sabrina turned to the next chapter assignment. This time she read in John 8 about a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. Sabrina could never remember a woman coming to the brothel and catching her husband with another woman. She wondered for a moment how this woman had been caught before reading on.
Jesus did not react the way the Pharisees did. He was calm, almost disinterested, but before it was over He told her not to sin anymore, so He knew what she'd done was wrong. Sabrina knew the life she lived was wrong, but she didn't feel she had a choice. Maybe she had at one time, but not now.
21
"I need to ask you something."
"Sit down," Callie invited, and even moved a chair so Sabrina would sit close.
"How did you silence Lil today? What happened in the hall?"
Callie smiled. "At one time I would have been complimented by her offer, but now I'm insulted. My look turned cold, Bri. I stopped long enough to look Lil in the eyes, and she knew she'd stepped out of line to even suggest such a thing to me."
Sabrina thought she would give anything to be in such a position, but again told herself that it was too late.
"Are you all right?" Callie asked.
"I read those chapters. I didn't know there were immoral women in the Bible."
"All through the Bible," Callie told her, smiling a little. "Don't forget, sin is nothing new, and sexual sin is a powerful temptation that started in the book of Genesis."
"What's the book of Genesis?"
"The first book in the Bible," Callie answered, and then asked, "Did your family ever go to church? Did anyone ever tell you about the Bible?"
"No, my mother didn't like it, and my father didn't seem to care." Sabrina shrugged. "I can't remember knowing anyone who went to church. Sunday was our only day off and we stayed home."
Callie nodded and thought about this, realizing Sabrina had probably just described the way thousands of folks in Denver lived. Many worked hard all week with little time or thought for God.
The silence at the table lengthened but was not uncomfortable. Eventually Sabrina had another question.
22 "All those years ago, what did Danny's father say to you that helped you?"
"Let me think." Callie took a moment. No one had ever asked her that, and it had been a long time past. "I think I was most helped when he said I had choices. I didn't think I did. He said I had a choice about what I do for a living and what I believe. He turned out to be right. I eventually did believe in Christ to save me, and once I did that, I realized I did have a choice about everything."
Sabrina might have had another question, but someone knocked on the front door. Callie excused herself, and Sabrina went back to John 4. She read in verse 39 that many people in the city believed on Jesus because of the things the woman from the well had shared. At the end of verse 42, Sabrina read, "Know that this is indeed the Christ, the Savior of the world."
Savior of the world. The words reverberated in Sabrina's head, and for the first time a glimmer of hope began to shine in the corner of her mind.
"Come into the kitchen," Callie's voice sounded before she arrived. "Come and meet Bri."
Sabrina looked up in time to see Callie enter the room, a baby in her arms.
"This is my granddaughter, Delta," Callie said, laughing when Sabrina's mouth opened.
"You can't be a grandmother," Sabrina argued even as she looked at the baby, who smiled up at Callie.
"This isn't even my first," Callie explained. And without warning, the kitchen filled with people who were introduced to Sabrina. The man was Scott Barshaw, a large man like his father, along with his wife, Lisa, and their older child, Josh. Danny came from upstairs in the midst of it, and Josh ran for his grandfather.
"How's my big boy?" Danny asked Josh, who began to chatter
23 happily into his grandfather's face. Sabrina could not have been less comfortable with all of this, but no one seemed to notice.
"We have cake," Callie was saying. "Bri helped me with the baking yesterday, and we have more than we can possibly eat."
"Why don't you give me Delta, Mother," Scott was saying, and Sabrina saw her chance. The Bible still in her hands, she slipped out of the kitchen, back to the living room, and then onto the front porch. It was cold, a little too cold to be outside, but she had to read more about Jesus and at the moment the temperature didn't matter.
"I can't find her," Callie said quietly to Danny some time later, having just come from upstairs. Her face was sad, sure she had left them, but Danny took over. He didn't know why it was obvious to him that Sabrina was outside except that he'd seen the look on her face when the family arrived. Slipping into a coat and grabbing one of Callie's, he went out the front door and found her on the first step.
"How are you doing?" he asked as he placed the coat around her shoulders and took a seat.
"It says here that Jesus turned water into wine. How did He do that?"
"He's God, and He can perform miracles."
"And then this child," Sabrina went on. "He healed a man's son without even being there."
"Jesus' miracles are recorded all through the New Testament." "I thought I was reading the Bible."
"The Bible is divided into the Old and New Testaments." Sabrina looked back down at
the book and then out at the street. A man walked by, and it brought her back to earth.
"I can't keep staying here. I'm not making any money, and you can't live without that."
"Is that really what you want to do-go back to the night district and make money?"
24 "Sometimes we don't have choices."
"That's true, but not in this instance."
Sabrina didn't argue. She knew he was right. They had told her she could stay, and she knew they meant it.
"I do have some money put away. I can pay for my keep." "I don't expect that. I won't take money from you."
"Because of the way I earned it?"
"No. You'll need your money for new clothes."
Sabrina frowned at him in confusion.
"All of Callie's dresses are going to come up above your ankles, and your dresses don't cover you on top."
Sabrina gawked at him. She'd never met such a plain-talking man. He didn't blush or beat about the bush, and Sabrina wondered if this was the type of man it took to marry a woman in her occupation. She didn't say this, however, but changed the subject.
"Callie told me I could move out completely today. Did you know that?"
"She told me. Why didn't you?"
"I wanted to, but I was afraid of not having any money, living on the streets, and having to start all over."
"How about you look for work around here?" Danny suggested.
"Doing what?"
"I don't know. We'll ask around and see what comes of it." "Will I have to say where I've been?"
"I don't know why you would," Danny said, not telling her that some folks, who knew the way Danny and Callie operated, would have already guessed. They would also never say anything to her. It wasn't important.
Sabrina looked back out to the street. It was such a nice neighborhood, a little like the one she'd grown up in. Such memories hadn't come to mind in a long time, and for a moment Sabrina felt sick with longing.
"Are you all right?" Danny asked, but Sabrina didn't answer.
25
She looked back at the Bible and started again with her questions about Jesus.