"You cannot begin to imagine," he whispered intimately in a voice that seared her with hot dread, "just how extraordinarily unpleasant this is going to be for you.
"You were worth my patience, worth everything I've had to put up with from Ulicia. We are going to become quite close, you and I. If you think I intend the worst for Lord Rahl, then you cannot even begin to imagine what I have in mind for you, darlin."
Kahlan had never felt so alone, so helpless, in her life. Against her will, she felt a tear run down her cheek even as she managed to hold back a sob deep in her throat.
* * *
CHAPTER 38
Once Jagang turned away and was no longer looking at her, Kahlan at last allowed herself to swallow with silent relief to have his hands off of her, even if he had only touched her hair. Helpless dread shivered through her at him having been that close to her. She fully understood the meaningful look he'd given her. She knew that he could do anything he wanted to her, and she was completely at his mercy.
No. There was still breath in her lungs. She couldn't give in to such a belief. She couldn't allow herself to think she was helpless.
She had to think, instead of simply surrendering to panic. Panic could not help her accomplish anything. Maybe it would turn out to be true that she had no control of her own life, but she knew that she was lost to his will if she resigned herself to the blind guidance of panic. That's what he wanted her to do.
Across the room, at the heavy table, Jagang pulled the book closer. He opened the front cover and then leaned on both hands as he silently peered down at it. The rounded brawn of his broad shoulders, heavily muscled back, and thick neck looked more like that of a bull than a man. The things he wore only served to enhance his less than human appearance. He, and his men, appeared to deliberately shun the mantle of the noblest ideals of mankind and instead embrace a base, animalistic aspect. The aspiration toward the lower form of existence, rather than a higher one, revealed an elemental dimension of the overt threat these men represented; they aspired to be not men, but something less.
Back not far in front of the doors, the two huge guards stood silently with their feet spread and their hands clasped behind their backs. Kahlan rested a hand on Jillian's shoulder when the girl looked up in silent anxiety at being in the presence of such men, who, from time to time, cast dark gazes her way.
The two guards didn't see Kahlan. At least, she didn't think they did. She had minded their behavior and noticed that from time to time, besides Jillian, they eyed the Sisters, but without much interest. When Jagang spoke to Kahlan the guards looked a bit confused. They said nothing, but Kahlan knew that, to them, it must have appeared that their leader was talking to himself. Like everyone but Jillian, the Sisters, and Jagang through his link to the Sisters, the guards forgot Kahlan before they knew they had seen her. She wished she could be just as invisible to their leader.
"What of your army, Excellency?" Sister Ulicia asked, still plainly trying to buy time by engaging him in conversation. She, too, was trying not to give in to panic.
Jagang looked over his shoulder with a wicked grin. "They are close."
Bewildered, Sister Ulicia blinked. "Close?"
He nodded, still grinning. "Just over the horizon to the north, up into D'Hara."
"The north—into D'Hara!" Sister Armina blurted out. "But that's not possible, Excellency."
He lifted an eyebrow, clearly enjoying their surprise.
"They must be wrong in their reports about their location," Sister Armina said, sounding like she was grasping at an opportunity to ingratiate herself with the emperor. She licked her lips. "What I mean, Excellency, is that, we, well, we passed them long ago. They were still back up in the Midlands, still on their way south to get around the intervening mountains. They could not possibly have gotten…"
Her quavering words dwindled to nothing, as if looking upon Jagang drained her of all courage, even the courage to speak, until she was left a silent shell of dread.
"Oh but they have already rounded the mountains down here and turned north up into D'Hara," Jagang said. "You see, I influenced your minds to direct you to go where I wanted you to go, when I wanted you to go there. It was my aim to have you think you were safe, to think you knew where I was. You never even heard my whispers, but those whispers still guided you without you even being aware of it."
"But we saw your troops," Sister Cecilia said. "We saw them and went around them. We left them far behind."
"You saw what I wanted you to see," Jagang said with a dismissive gesture. "You thought you were going where you wanted, but you were in fact going where I guided you—right to me and my main force.
"I sent you past a number of rear-guard divisions and then some units going south to other areas in the Midlands. I was making you believe what I wanted you to believe, seeing to it that you all felt confident in your plans, while I saw to it that the main army proceeded with my plans.
"Our forces have made it a great deal farther than you thought. I want to finish this war and I can see that such a goal is finally within sight, so I adjusted my tactics accordingly. Marching the main force at such a grueling pace is something that I usually don't do because it wears an army down and costs us a number of men, usually to no purpose, but the end is now in sight so it is worth the losses. Besides, they are there to serve the cause of the Order, not the other way around."
"I see," Armina said in a small voice, disheartened to learn yet more of their complete deception and of their helpless plight.
"Now, we have work."
The three Sisters suddenly sprang forward, as if yanked closer by invisible leashes around their necks. "Yes, Excellency," they all said as one. Apparently, Jagang had growled a silent order that only they could hear, probably just to remind them that he was there, in their minds.
It occurred to Kahlan that he could control her by the collar around her neck, through his control of the minds of the Sisters, but it didn't appear that he was able to control her directly. Besides merely having some basic hatred for her, he also seemed to be trying to paralyze her with fear as one aspect of controlling her behavior by stopping her from thinking—in addition to using the collar and the Sisters. It would seem that while he was somehow within the minds of the Sisters, he was not in Kahlan's mind.
Of course, she couldn't be sure of that. After all, the Sisters had been deluded into thinking the same thing—that the dream walker was not there, in their minds, watching their every thought. So, while she had to assume that it was a possibility, she just didn't think it was true that he was in her mind as well. There was more to it, though; he was treating her in a different way than he treated the Sisters. They were treacherous captives; Kahlan was a prize.
He had deceived them for a purpose. In essence he was spying on their thoughts. They were up to things and he wanted to surreptitiously eavesdrop on those plans so that he could turn them to his own advantage. He knew that Kahlan was not up to anything other than wanting to escape from the Sisters. She had no more plans beyond that. She didn't even have a memory of who she really was. There was nothing for Jagang to spy on within her mind. It had to be obvious that she didn't want to be his captive, either, that she wanted her life back. So, there was nothing that he could really learn by secretly spying on her thoughts—at least, not yet, not unless she began to think rather than be blinded by panic.
But if he really wasn't in her mind, then why not? He was a dream walker, after all, a man of such power that the Sisters had been trying to stay away from him—unsuccessfully, as it turned out, precisely because of his ability and power. He very much wanted Kahlan as his prize of prizes, as he'd called her. If he was in her mind he could have controlled her with the same invisible leash he used to control the Sisters and not have to go through their ability to do it. He didn't seem like the sort of man who would resort to such a secondhand method of control if he didn't have to. He wouldn't need the Sisters to control her if he could enter her mind.
What would be the point, now, of not making his presence in her mind known, if he really could do it? Even more material, if she was that important to him, he would surely want to have that manner of control if it was possible, so why wasn't he able to get into her mind and control her directly?
There was something more going on. She got the distinct impression that there were things he was being careful not to say.
"This is it, then," he said to the Sisters. "This is The Book of Counted Shadows. This is what you came here for, what you needed. I want to get started right away."
"But Excellency," Sister Ulicia said, looking startled by the very idea, "we only have two of the boxes. We would need all three."
"No you don't. You only need to use this book to discover if one of the two boxes we have here is the one you really need. If the missing box is the one that would destroy us, or destroy all that exists, then why would we need it?"
Sister Ulicia looked like she had very good reasons why they would need it but she really didn't want to argue the point.
"Well," she said, searching for the right words, "I suppose that very well might be true. After all, we haven't actually had the chance to study The Book of Counted Shadows yet, so we can't know for sure. The other references could have been wrong. That's why we were coming here, after all. We needed the book. It could be as you say, Excellency, that we don't actually need the third box."
It was obvious to Kahlan that Sister Ulicia didn't believe such a thing. Jagang didn't seem concerned by her doubt.
"And here it sits, waiting." He gestured to the book lying on the heavy table. "Once you study this book, then you can tell which box is whichwhich one is the one we need. If it turns out that these two are the wrong boxes, perhaps by then the third will turn up."
The Sisters hesitated at agreeing to his idea, but didn't seem willing to offer an argument.
Finally, after glancing to the others, Sister Ulicia conceded the value of his suggestion. "None of us has seen this book before, so we will need to… to learn from it what we can. I think you are correct, Excellency. Studying the book would be in order."
Jagang tilted his head toward the book lying on the table. "Then get to it."
The Sisters crowded close and leaned over, reverently gazing for the first time upon the book they had so long sought. They read in silence, with Jagang keeping an eye on them as well as the book.
"Excellency," Sister Ulicia said after only a brief examination, "it would appear that we can't just… start, as you put it."
"Why not?"
"Well, look here." She tapped the page. "Right in the beginning, this confirms what we previously had reason to suspect, that there are safeguards against any eventuality. It says that you need…"
She fell silent as she glanced over her shoulder at Kahlan.
"Well," she went on, "right here in the very beginning it says, 'Verification of the truth of The Book of Counted Shadows, if spoken by another, rather than read by the one who commands the boxes, can only be insured by the use of… ' Well, Excellency, you can see yourself what it says."
It was clear to Kahlan that the woman was avoiding saying something aloud. Jagang likewise read it in silence.
"So what?" he argued. "It is being read by the one who commands the boxes. It's being read by me, through you. I control the boxes now."
Sister Ulicia cleared her throat. "Excellency, I want to be perfectly honest with you—"
"I'm in your mind, Ulicia. It would be impossible for you to be anything but perfectly honest. I know you doubt my idea, but are unwilling to express such thoughts aloud. So, as you know, I would be aware if you were trying to deceive me."
"Yes, Excellency." She gestured to the book. "But you see, this is a very technical issue."
"What is?"
"The verification issue, Excellency. This is an instructional book on implementation of profoundly complex matters. These things are not only profoundly complex, but profoundly dangerous—to all of us. So, for that reason, it is critical to pay strict attention to what this book says. This is not a matter to be approached casually. You can't assume anything. The things this book says are exceptionally specific for good reasons. You have to think about every word, every sentence, every formula in it. You have to consider every possibility. Our lives all depend on the utmost caution in these matters."
"What's so technical about this? It says quite plainly 'Verification, if spoken by another.' It's not spoken by another. We're reading it directly."
"That's the precise point, Excellency. We are not reading it directly."
Jagang's face went red with rage. "What do you think we're standing here doing, then!"
Sister Ulicia gulped air, as if an invisible hand had her by the throat. "Excellency, you command the boxes now. But you are not really reading The Book of Counted Shadows."
He leaned toward her in a menacing fashion. "Then what is it I'm reading?"
"A copy," she said.
He paused. "So?"
"So, in this case, you are not, technically, reading The Book of Counted Shadows. You are reading a copy of it. You are, in essence, reading something spoken by another."
His frown deepened. "Who is the one reading it, then?"
"The one who made the copy."
Jagang straightened as comprehension dawned in his expression. "Yes… this isn't the original. In a sense I'm hearing it from the one who made the copy." He scratched his stubble. "So it must be verified."
"Exactly, Excellency," Sister Ulicia, visibly relieved. :
Jagang looked back over his shoulder at Kahlan. "Come here."
Kahlan hurried to do as he ordered, not wanting to be given any pain in a fight she knew he would easily win. Jillian stuck close to her side, apparently not wanting to be left standing alone back closer to the two fierce guards.
Jagang's big hand grasped the back of Kahlan's neck. He forcibly pulled her forward and bent her down toward the book.
"Look at this and tell me if it is genuine."
After he released her, Kahlan could still feel the painful, lingering impression of his powerful fingers where they had squeezed her neck. She resisted the urge to rub her throbbing flesh and instead picked up the book.
Kahlan didn't have the slightest idea how to tell if a book that she had never seen before was genuine or not. She didn't have any idea what would constitute authenticity. She knew, though, that Jagang would not accept such an excuse. He only cared about getting an answer; he wouldn't want to hear that she didn't know that answer.
Deciding that she at the least had to try, she began leafing through the pages, trying to make it look like she was putting in an honest effort when she was really doing nothing more than flipping over blank pages of a book lying open on the table before her.
"I'm sorry," she said at last, unable to think of anything to tell him other than the truth, "but this is all blank. There is nothing for me to verify."
"She can't see the words, Excellency," Sister Ulicia said under her breath, as if it were hardly a surprise to her. "This is a book of magic. An intact link to specific kinds of Han is required to read it."
Jagang glanced at the collar around Kahlan's neck. "Intact." He peered suspiciously into her eyes. "Maybe she's lying. Maybe she just doesn't want to tell us what she sees."
Kahlan wondered if this was confirmation that he was not in her mind, or if for some reason he was still carrying out a carefully crafted ruse. It didn't seem to her that at this point such reticence to reveal a presence in her mind, if there really was one, would serve any purpose. After all, the boxes, and the book, were the central reason for the entire deception of the Sisters. He had used his secret presence specifically to bring them here, to this book.
Jagang abruptly snatched Jillian by her hair. Jillian let out a surprised but brief, clipped cry. He was obviously hurting her. She did her best not to pull against the hand holding her hair, lest he rip her scalp off.
"I'm going
to gouge out one of this girl's eyes," Jagang told Kahlan. "I will then ask again if the book is genuine or not. If I don't get an answerfor whatever reason—then I will gouge out her other eye. I will ask one last time, and if you again don't give me the answer, then I will gouge out her heart. What do you have to say about that?"
The Sisters stood mute as they watched, making no move to interfere. Jagang pulled a knife from a sheath at his belt. Jillian began panting in terror as he jerked her around, drawing his arm up tight across her throat, holding her against his chest to render her helpless and keep her still as he brought the point of a knife perilously close to her face.
"Let me see the book," Kahlan said, hoping to avert the irrevocable.
With a thumb and a free finger of the hand holding the knife, he picked up the book and handed it to her. Kahlan thumbed through the pages more carefully, making sure she wasn't missing any page that might say anything at all, but she still saw nothing. Every single page was blank. There was nothing to see, no way to tell if it was real or not.
She closed the cover and smoothed the flat of her hand over it. She didn't know what to do. She had no idea what to look for. She flipped the book over, checking the back cover. She looked at the deckle edges of the pages. She turned the book, looking down at the title embossed in gold letters on the spine.
Jillian let out a strangled cry as Jagang tightened his grip across her throat, lifting her feet clear of the ground. He brought the point of the knife right up to the girl's right eye. She blinked, unable to turn away from the threat, her lashes brushing the blade's point.
"Time to go blind," Jagang growled.
"It's fake," Kahlan said.
He looked up. "What?"
Kahlan held the book out to him. "This book is a false copy. It's fake."
Sister Ulicia took a step forward. "How can you possibly know that?" She looked clearly confused that Kahlan could pronounce the book a fraud without being able to read a single word in it.