“Greed,” Deacon said emphatically. “He was always so envious of my father. Their father had favored his eldest, and my uncle James was the son who got hand-me-downs and leftovers. James was bitter. He also had a massive gambling problem and piss-poor business sense. He got rid of me, and then managed to lose every last penny his ancestors had worked so hard to earn.”
The picture Deacon painted was so awful Lana reached out to touch his chest. She pressed her palm to his heart, feeling each erratic beat rapping against her flesh. “Where did you go?”
“Wherever I could make money.”
She hesitated. “Have you kidnapped other people before?”
“A few. Not to be callous, but most of them deserved it. Normally I’m hired for mercenary work—raiding vil lages, extracting relief workers from hot areas. Sometimes the jobs are legal, other times they aren’t.”
His reply offered no apology, and Lana wasn’t sure it deserved one. She suddenly imagined a fifteen-year-old Deacon living on the streets, scrounging to feed and clothe himself. She couldn’t even fathom how he’d managed to survive. She’d been fortunate enough to grow up with financially secure parents who loved and cherished her. What would she have done if her parents died and Uncle Donald had disowned her? Would she have turned to a dangerous lifestyle the way Deacon had?
“And you survived,” she said quietly, stroking the hot skin of his chest. “Whatever you did in the past ensured you stayed alive. But now…”
“But now nothing. I may have survived, but my choices have pretty much sucked every last drop of humanity out of me, Lana.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“It’s true.” His hand covered hers, slowly removing her fingers from his skin. “I have nothing to give to a child, a wife. There’s no goodness left in me, and you, our baby, deserve a good life.”
“You are good,” she disagreed. “You protected us this whole time. You kept us alive. How can you not see that?”
With methodical motions, he disentangled himself from their embrace and rose from the bed. His nudity brought a spark of desire, which fizzled the second he continued speaking.
“You deserve more than I could ever give you,” he said hoarsely. “And your family will give you everything I can’t. They’ll help you take care of this baby. They’ll make sure nothing bad ever happens to either of you.”
My family can’t be a father to this child, she wanted to argue, but the objection got stuck in her throat. He wouldn’t hear it anyway. Deacon Holt had obviously decided what kind of man he was years ago, and nothing she could say was going to sway him.
As he bent down to retrieve his boxers, she stared at the sleek, sculpted lines of his body, the classically handsome planes of his face. She could see it now, his upbringing, his roots. He might deny it, but he’d inherited his mother’s grace, his father’s polish.
And maybe nothing she said would get through to him, she thought, as she watched him get dressed, but perhaps words weren’t the solution here. Perhaps what she really needed to do was show him. Show him that he did indeed have some decency left inside him. Show him that he wasn’t a robot, but a living, breathing human being with a capacity for greatness.
A man strong enough to be a father to their baby.
Captain Jim Kelley had just hopped into one of the nondescript Town Cars of the security detail when a satellite phone was thrust into his hands. The soldier who handed him the phone wore a blank look, shrugging as if to say, I have no clue what’s up.
Stifling a sigh, Jim signaled for the driver to go and raised the phone to his ear. “Captain Kelley,” he barked.
“Kelley,” came Colonel Keaton’s sharp voice.
Jim’s sigh reached the surface. Damn. This didn’t sound good. He hoped the colonel wasn’t sending Delta Company on a last-second assignment or something. Jim and his crew had just spent the past two weeks providing additional security to the Secretary of Defense, who’d been meeting with various South American leaders to discuss the arms trade. He’d been looking forward to heading back to his Georgetown home, cracking open a cold beer and sitting on the couch for a few days.
The colonel’s next words, however, sent a flicker of surprise through him. “I’ve got your mother on the line. I’m patching her through.”
And then Keaton’s voice faded and was replaced by his mother’s urgent, “Jim, are you there?”
Jim instantly tensed. A few days ago, one of the men in Delta Company had been messing around on the internet and had discovered a weeks-old news article about Jim’s father. About the fact that six women had come forward claiming to be Senator Kelley’s mistresses. As expected, Jim had been livid, but he hadn’t had a chance to call his mother. Now, hearing her voice, that anger returned full force.
“I’m here.” His voice cracked slightly. “I heard what happened, Mom. I’m so sorry.”
She gasped. “You know about Lana?”
“Lana?” Unease crawled up his spine. “I was referring to Dad.”
“Oh.”
“What are you talking about? What’s happened to Lana?”
“She’s gone, Jimmy.” An unmistakable sob ripped through the line.
Jim’s entire body went frozen with shock. His sister was gone? What the hell did that mean? He listened as his mother cried on the other end, fear rising inside him.
“Mom, what do you mean she’s gone? Where is she?” For a second, he wondered if Lana had done something crazy, like hop a plane to Africa to help children with AIDS. He could totally see her doing that. Lana’s heart was bigger than a small country, and despite her sweet disposition, she did get stubborn and wild every now and then.
But apparently not now, he realized in dismay, as his mother said, “She’s been kidnapped.”
Jim felt lightheaded. “What?”
He could barely keep up with his mother’s panic-driven words, but he got the gist of it. Lana had disappeared in Paris and was being held hostage by Hank Kelley’s enemies. Relief coursed through him when his mother explained that Hank had spoken to Lana several times, but the relief transformed into rage when she described the DVD and photograph that had been delivered to the ranch.
“But she’s alive,” he ground out, sheer fury coating his throat like sulfuric acid.
“We think so,” his mother said with an anguished whimper. “Cole deduced from the video that she might be in D.C., but we’re not sure. And then last night there were reports of gunfire in a neighborhood near Stanton Park. Federal agents searched every inch of the neighborhood and didn’t find a thing. Jimmy, we don’t know where she is.”
His mother’s distress was like a knife to the heart. He’d always done his best to keep his mom happy, especially since his father didn’t seem interested in doing so, but right now, he felt totally and completely helpless.
“There’s more,” his mother added. “The kidnappers called again, and they want to set up an exchange.”
“Money?”
“No. They want your father. I’ve been trying to get through to you for days now. I don’t know what to do. I don’t trust these people, and I’m beginning to think they’re never going to let my baby go. Nothing about this exchange makes sense, Jimmy.”
“You’re right.”
Everything his mother had just told him succeeded in heightening the anger rolling in his gut. Of course this was about his father. Hank Kelley’s recklessness and insensitivity was always at the root of every problem this family ever encountered.
“Where is Dad now?” he asked coldly.
“Maple Cove. He’s staying with Cole.” Sarah paused. “People are trying to kill him.”
Jim almost muttered “good,” but quickly tamped down the cruel thought. He didn’t want to see his father dead. No matter how much heartache Hank Kelley had caused over the years, he was still Jim’s father.
And, as a dutiful son, he was going to come home and clean up his daddy’s mess.
“Are you at the mansion?
” he asked his mother.
“No, I’m staying at Vivienne’s house in Martha’s Vineyard.”
“Good. Stay there. And as of this moment, I’m arranging for a guard to come stay with you.” Before she could protest, he hurried on in a brisk tone. “I’ll fly to Maple Cove tonight. I’ll take care of everything, okay, Mom?”
“Just be careful. Please, promise to take care of yourself.”
“I will.” His jaw hardened. “And don’t worry, I’m going to find Lana and bring her home.”
Among other things…
He decided not to mention that. His mother was distraught enough as it was. No need to worry her further.
But he had no intention of letting this end simply with Lana’s safe return. Because nobody, nobody, was going to kidnap his sister and live to tell about it.
Jim would make sure of that.
Chapter 13
Deacon and Lana reached Cleveland in the late afternoon, and by the time he pulled into the parking lot of the motel, he was dying to get out of the car. Lana’s attempts at making conversation had begun to make him unbelievably uncomfortable. Ever since he’d poured out his life story to her while they lay in bed, he’d tried to keep some distance between them. Kept his responses short, forced himself not to touch her. Yet Lana seemed determined to claw her way through his self-imposed distance.
And he knew why. Somehow she’d convinced herself that he was capable of being a father to this kid. She truly believed they might have some sort of future together.
Deacon knew better, though. Even if he weren’t on the wrong side of the law and would probably be arrested when this was all over, he didn’t belong in Lana’s life. He didn’t belong anywhere.
The motel he’d found was located on the outskirts of the city, near an industrial area where every company name seemed to have the word mega in it. Mega Steel Corporation, Mega Shutters, Megapaint, Inc. Considering the miniscule size of the buildings, mega seemed absurdly hyperbolic.
“Do you think there’s a mega sandwich shop around here? Because I’m mega hungry,” Lana murmured.
His lips twitched. Although she’d claimed in her endless chattering during the six-hour drive that she didn’t have a great sense of humor, he found himself amused by her wry remarks and subtle jokes. He’d had to stifle several chuckles already. That would have defeated the purpose of distance.
“I’ll grab us something from the café I spotted around the corner,” he said.
They entered the motel room, which was as shabby as the one they’d spent last night in. Lana removed the oversize flannel shirt he’d given her, which left her in the oversize sweater that hung past the knees of her snug black track pants. The bloodstained sweater she’d worn yesterday had been tossed out, and since Deacon had neglected to bring her suitcase when they escaped the apartment, she now had no choice but to wear his clothes.
For some reason, the sight of her slender body covered in his shirts brought a strange spark of satisfaction.
Lana’s blue eyes zeroed in on the telephone sitting on the splintered cedar nightstand. “Can I call my parents?” she asked softly.
Regret lined his tone. “I’m afraid not.”
She met his gaze. “Why not?”
“Le Clair probably bugged their phones. Or maybe not. Either way, we can’t take the chance that he or his men will be listening to the calls.”
“But what if I don’t reveal our location? I can just say I got away and I’m making my way home.”
He shook his head. “We still might be tracked here. If the phones are bugged, Le Clair will get a trace and find us.” When her face fell, he let out a breath. “I know you want to speak to your family, but just hold on a bit longer. You’ll be home soon.”
“When?”
“A few days, if we drive without making too many stops. But I want to get an early start in the morning so we can make it to Chicago at a decent time. There’s someone I need to see.”
Suspicion clouded her face. “Who?”
“An old friend of mine. We worked on a couple of assignments together in the Middle East.”
“Wait, you have a friend?”
She sounded so surprised he felt a prickle of irritation. “Even bad guys like me have friends.” He suddenly sighed. “Well, O’Neal’s more of an acquaintance, actually.”
Lana seemed to be fighting a laugh. “Okay. So why do we need to see this acquaintance?”
“We need money. Ammo. A vehicle I won’t need to ditch every six hours.”
“Are you sure we can trust this guy?”
“We have no choice,” he said quietly. “We won’t make it to Montana without supplies.”
“All right. If you think it’s safe.”
He almost cringed. She gave her trust to him so freely, without any hesitation. That unfailing idealism again, her need to seek out the best in everyone.
Discomfort curled in his stomach. Sometimes he wished she’d just hate him. Distrust him. Those were responses he’d become accustomed to, reactions he expected from those around him. Lana’s determination to ignore the dark ness inside him was something he didn’t quite know how to handle.
He cleared his throat. “I’ll go grab us some food. Lock the door behind me.” As an afterthought, he unzipped the duffel bag he’d set on the bed, retrieved a black .35 mm and held it out to her. “Keep this close.”
Leaving the room, he headed to the car and made a quick trip to the coffee shop, where he purchased several sandwiches, some cookies, coffee for himself and juice for Lana. When he got back to the motel, Lana was sitting in the tiny kitchenette flipping through a newspaper that must have been left there by the previous occupant.
The frown marring her face told him the news wasn’t good. “What’s up?” he asked, gesturing to the paper.
“My dad.” Her tone was flat as she held up one page in particular.
Senator’s Extracurricular Activities, the headline read. Next to the article was a photograph of Hank Kelley’s distinguished features, a smug smile on his face. Across from Kelley was a second photo, this one showcasing the striking face of a redhead in her mid-to late-twenties. One of Kelley’s mistresses apparently.
“How could he do this?” Lana mumbled, more to herself than him. He understood her distress—hearing the news was one thing, but seeing the photos was like a punch to the gut. “God, seeing this makes me…it makes me…”
“Angry?” Deacon supplied, handing her one of the plastic-wrapped sandwiches.
“Yeah.” Shock filled her face. “Yes,” she said in a raised voice. “I am angry.”
The look in her eyes revealed such disbelief, such startled confusion, that he had to fight another smile. “That’s not an emotion you feel often, is it?”
She slowly shook her head. “No. I’ve never really seen the point in getting ticked off about things. Besides, my dad isn’t a bad person. He’s made a lot of mistakes, sure, but he’s like a little kid, you know? So full of life and mischief and he’s…” She halted abruptly.
Deacon raised the coffee cup to his lips and took a long swallow, waiting for her to continue. He got the feeling he might be witnessing an epiphany here. And not the good kind.
“Selfish,” she finally burst out, her blue eyes blazing. “He’s selfish, Deacon! He cheated on my mother with who knows how many women! He’s let down each one of my brothers, on numerous occasions. He’s…” Her voice lowered to an anguished whisper. “He’s let me down.”
His chest squeezed at the forlorn expression that crossed her beautiful face.
“And I always forgave him. I always ignored everything he did.” She stared at him, suddenly looking beaten. “How can I ignore it now?”
“You can’t.” He sank into one of the plastic chairs at the tiny table. “You just stop putting him on a pedestal and recognize that he’s flawed. Jeez, Lana, everyone is flawed.”
She didn’t respond to the frank statement. Or maybe she’d simply chosen not to hear i
t. He noticed her hands tremble slightly as she unwrapped the sandwich and took a small bite. She chewed, then made a face.
“This tastes like sandpaper,” she remarked, but continued eating nonetheless.
Deacon dug into his own sandwich and had to agree with her assessment. “Definitely bland,” he agreed. “Too bad this room doesn’t have a full kitchen. I would’ve made you something else.”
“You know, you still haven’t told me where you learned to cook so well.”
“Culinary camp,” he said lightly.
Her blond eyebrows rose. “Seriously?”
“My parents made sure I had a well-rounded education.” He sipped his coffee again. “Cooking lessons, dance lessons, language classes, sports, literary clubs. I was probably the most overeducated teenager on the planet.”
“And yet…”
Her voice drifted, and he instantly stiffened. “And yet I became a criminal?” he finished callously.
She hesitated for a moment. “I understand you had to do whatever you could survive when you were younger, but you could have gone back to school at some point. Finished your education. Gotten a job.”
“I suppose I could have scribbled drug dealer under previous employment,” he agreed sardonically.
Irritation flashed in her eyes. “You don’t have to be an ass. I’m just pointing out you had other options.”
“Not back then.” His jaw tightened. “And not now. At some point I took the wrong turn, and it’s too late to take a different path now. I am who I am, Lana. I can’t rewrite history, and I can’t magically become the man you think I should be.”
“The man you want to be,” she corrected. “Don’t deny it. I’ve seen the shame in your eyes, when you think you’re masking it. This has nothing to do with me, or what I want. This is all you, Deacon. You don’t like what you do.”
With a dainty shrug, she resumed eating, alternating between munching on cookies and taking little sips of the orange juice he’d brought her. Deacon’s appetite left him, as he sat there in silence, thinking about what she’d said.
Was this the life he wanted for himself? Growing up, he’d had big dreams—going to college, running the family business, maybe starting up his own company.