Page 11 of The Problem Child


  “There’s no cause for alarm,” Nottingham said confidently just as the rest of the diners leaped from their seats and hid under the tables. An older gentleman jumped from his chair at the counter and knocked into Farrah, who spilled the family’s meals all over the floor. The girls tumbled out of the booth and Sabrina’s wand slipped from her hand and rolled to the other side of the room.

  Nottingham opened his coat and pulled a serpentine sword from a scabbard strapped around his waist. He pointed it at the Jabberwocky but it made no impression on the beast. The hulking brute grabbed the front wall of the diner and tore it away as if it were paper. Then the creature poked its gruesome head into the hole, mere inches away from Sabrina and Daphne. It stuck out its long tongue and flicked it around as if it were tasting the fear in the room.

  “JABBERWOCKY!” the monster cried.

  here’s my grandmother?” Red Riding Hood screamed. Her face was a contorted mess, like a sculpture made from Silly Putty whose features were twisted and stretched into horrible exaggerations. “I want to play!”

  “Stay down,” Sabrina whispered to Daphne as Uncle Jake joined them on the floor.

  Nottingham raised his sword and waved it in the air threateningly. “Child,” he said to Red Riding Hood, “take this overgrown tadpole and go or I swear I’ll—” but his threat was never finished. The Jabberwocky whipped its tail at him and sent him sailing across the room and into the dessert case. He let out a terrible groan and collapsed to the floor.

  “Grandmother, are you in there?” the demented little girl called out, as she and the Jabberwocky stepped through the hole and into the diner. She searched with growing disappointment as patrons cowered under tables.

  “Who are you looking for, young lady?” the queen called out with a trembling voice.

  “My grandmother,” Red Riding Hood said. Her face suddenly went from rage to a sweet hopeful smile.

  The Queen of Hearts smiled, too, or at least did something Sabrina guessed was as close as the nasty woman could get to smiling. “But child, your grandmother is dead. Don’t you remember? She was eaten by the Big Bad Wolf.”

  Red Riding Hood sputtered and rocked back and forth on her feet. “That’s not true,” she said to herself, over and over again. “We’re playing a game. I have to find her so my family can be together again. She’s just hiding. Playing a game.”

  “Oh, you poor thing,” the queen said. “You’re so confused.”

  “That’s what they said,” the little girl agreed as her face darkened. “I’m confused. They said I had . . . imagination.”

  The Jabberwocky leaned down to the little girl and licked her face with his long disgusting tongue, causing her to giggle. “Oh, kitty, are you bored? Do you want to play? I bet this lady would like to play with you.”

  The Jabberwocky gnashed its teeth enthusiastically and turned to Mrs. Heart. It reached over and snatched her off the ground in one of its huge, taloned hands. She screamed and begged for help.

  “Do something!” Sabrina whispered to her uncle. She didn’t like the Queen of Hearts, not even a little, but she didn’t want her to die, either.

  Uncle Jake rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine,” he grumbled. He sprang to his feet and pointed a threatening finger at the brute. “Hey, ugly—put her down!”

  “You know where my grandmother is! You know where the doggy is, too. Don’t you?” Red Riding Hood said.

  “Yes, yes!” the queen cried as struggled to free herself. “He’s the one you want! Not me! There’s no need to kill me!”

  The Jabberwocky gnashed its fangs and dropped the Queen of Hearts. It stomped across the room toward the Grimms, tossing tables and chairs out of its way

  “Uncle Jake? It’s coming,” Sabrina cried impatiently.

  “Working on it, kid,” Uncle Jake said. He searched his many pockets for something that he could use against the monster. Pennies, buttons, half a candy bar, and dozens of trinkets and necklaces were tossed aside. “I have just the thing in here. Where on earth did I put it?” But whatever he was searching for he didn’t find. The monster backhanded him so hard he crashed through the men’s room door.

  The Jabberwocky beat on its chest and flapped its leathery wings. It shrieked and spit and then chaos ensued. The monster stomped its colossal foot down on the floor, causing a shock-wave that rolled through the diner. Chairs flew through the ceiling and walls, and exploded into the dessert case right above the still-unconscious Nottingham. Several cups of butterscotch pudding tipped over and dribbled down onto his head.

  Sabrina scrambled across the room toward her wand. Just as she snatched it, the Jabberwocky leaped forward and set a heavy paw on Sabrina’s chest, pinning her arms at her side. She couldn’t move an inch. The monster craned its neck so that its nose was touching Sabrina’s and it sprayed its hot, pungent breath into her face.

  “I want my grandmother and my doggy,” Red Riding Hood said as she crossed the room and stood over Sabrina. “And I want them right now.”

  “You’re crazy!” Sabrina cried. “Your family is dead!”

  “You’re making me mad and you’re making kitty mad, too!”

  The Jabberwocky growled and gnashed its teeth.

  “Fine! I give up,” a voice said. Sabrina recognized the voice as Puck’s but couldn’t see its owner. She heard a whizzing sound above her. It infuriated the Jabberwocky, which turned to face the boy, freeing Sabrina. She crawled back to her hiding sister and together they got to their feet. There was Puck, hovering in the hole in the diner, with his beautiful pink-streaked wings flapping in the sun. He held a slingshot that was loaded with a broken brick from the diner’s crumbling wall. He loaded the slingshot, pulled the brick back, and let it fly. It smacked into one of the Jabberwocky’s eyes and the beast shrieked. “You’ve beaten me, Grimms. Are you happy? You dragged me into this hero business against my will and now every time I turn around, I’m saving the day. Well, I hope you’re happy. I’m a hero now.”

  Red Riding Hood screamed. “I don’t want to play this game!”

  “Hey, let’s play the quiet game,” Puck shouted at the little girl. “Your crazy talk is distracting from my heroics. If I’m going to be a good guy, then people are going to notice.”

  Instantly, the Jabberwocky lunged at Puck, using its long claws to knock the boy out of the sky. Puck fell hard to the ground, unable to defend himself as the monster reached down and grabbed hold of him with one hand. It lifted Puck up to its face and examined him closely.

  “Don’t worry, girls,” Puck shouted, almost laughing. “I’ve got all this under control!”

  With one lightning-fast motion, the Jabberwocky reached over, grabbed hold of Puck’s magical pink fairy wings, and ripped them off his back. The sound was excruciating.

  “Puck!” the girls shouted.

  The fairy boy cried out in agony and the Jabberwocky tossed him hard against a wall. He didn’t get up again.

  Sabrina gazed around the room, feeling as if the world were in slow motion. She had a terrifying sense of helplessness, the way she felt in so many of her recent nightmares, and she was tired of it. She squeezed the wand in her hand, and aimed it at the monster. Storm clouds suddenly filled the air. Lightning crackled and a bolt shot out of the sky and hit the Jabberwocky in the chest. There was an enormous explosion and the monster fell onto its back. A smoldering black burn remained where the lightning had struck the beast.

  An electrifying sensation raced through Sabrina. She felt like she had plugged into a light socket and replaced her blood with its current. She could have sworn at that moment that her eyes were on fire and she was a hundred feet tall. The amount of raw energy she had at her disposal was incredible. She was shocked when the Jabberwocky stirred and crawled to its feet.

  “You want some more? Fine!” she shouted. Another lightning blast caught the monster on the top of its head. It fell to the ground again. This time Sabrina took a step closer, only to have the beast’s head curl toward her. S
he was nearly bitten. Now, she was shaking, not from fear, but anger at the monster’s defiance of her power. How dare this thing continue to live!

  She shook the wand angrily and summoned another crash of lightning, and another, and another until her ears rang from the deafening thunder that came with every bolt. “Stay down!” she shouted, unable to hear her own words, but the monster refused. It got up, again and again and again, and each time it took a step closer to her and her little sister.

  Finally, the smoking hulk had backed them into a corner. Covered in wounds and burns, it shrieked into Sabrina’s face. She turned to her sister and slipped her hand into Daphne’s.

  Just then, much to Sabrina’s disbelief, the Jabberwocky was lifted off its feet and slammed to the ground. The impact sent the girls tumbling over each other.

  “I didn’t do that,” Sabrina said, staring down at the wand she still clutched in her hand.

  “Doggy!” Red Riding Hood shouted, and clapped.

  Sabrina turned to see what the little girl was raving about. There, standing over the monster, was an unusual man. He was excruciatingly thin, and wearing a suit that was several sizes too big for him. He had watery eyes and feeble hands. He also had a shock of white, unruly hair.

  “Mr. . . . Canis?” Sabrina stammered.

  “Mr. Canis!” Daphne cried, leaping up to race into his arms. Sabrina stared at their old friend, then grabbed her sister and pulled her back down. There was something different about him. He had bright blue eyes—the same color as those of his alter ego, the Big Bad Wolf.

  The Jabberwocky didn’t stay down long. It fought its way to its feet and tore into the old man, pounding its huge paws into Mr. Canis’s chest. Despite the horrific blows, Mr. Canis seemed more than capable of handling the monster’s abuse and dishing out some of his own. One swing from his elderly fist sent the Jabberwocky sailing through the hole in the diner’s wall and into the parking lot. Cars went flying and pavement crumbled under its skidding body.

  “Look! The doggy and the kitty are going to be friends,” Red Riding Hood shouted.

  Sabrina got to her feet and pointed the wand at the deranged little girl.

  “Where are my parents, you little psychopath?” she cried. The little girl snarled like a wild animal and lunged to scratch Sabrina across the face.

  “They’re my parents!” she raged.

  “You tell me right now or I’m going to fry you,” Sabrina threatened, deflecting the little girl’s attack and pointing the wand in her face. She could sense the clouds forming in the sky again. All she had to do was think it and the little girl would be a stain on the floor.

  “I’m going to have my grandmother!” the little girl screamed in anger.

  The air around Sabrina began to crack and pop. She knew she was about to unleash the lightning on the little girl and felt she had a right to do it. “You’re asking for it!”

  Suddenly, the wand was knocked out of Sabrina’s hand. She turned and saw Daphne standing next to her.

  “Sabrina, no!”

  “Tell my grandmother I’m coming,” Red Riding Hood shouted. She lifted her hand and the ring on her finger cast a crimson light on the room. A moment later, both she and the Jabberwocky disappeared into thin air.

  “How could you, Daphne? She’s got Mom and Dad!”

  “Puck needs our help,” Daphne shouted.

  The two girls rushed to the fallen fairy’s side, but Mr. Canis was already lifting him into his arms. “Get home, children,” he said roughly as he dashed away at an amazing speed. Sabrina had never seen anyone, man or Everafter, run so fast. Before the girls knew it, Canis and Puck were gone.

  “Uncle Jake,” Daphne said, turning and racing to find their uncle. When they did, he was still unconscious. Their waitress, Farrah, was standing over him.

  “Don’t worry, girls. I don’t think he’s too hurt,” she said. She tossed a glass of water into Jake’s face and he quickly opened his eyes. “We get a lot of drunks in here around two a.m. This works every time.”

  Uncle Jake shook his head and looked around. “What did I miss?”

  “Let’s just put it this way,” Farrah said. “It’s going to be a little while on the blueberry cobbler.”

  After Glinda the Good Witch scattered forgetful dust on the bewildered human diner customers and Sheriff Hamstead checked to make sure everyone was OK, the family got a high-speed police escort back home.

  “Granny!” Sabrina shouted as they ran into the house. The old woman called to them from upstairs and the girls raced to find her. They burst into the old woman’s bedroom and found her sitting next to Puck, who was in her bed covered in blankets. Both the girls tried to explain everything that had happened at the same time.

  “Lieblings, it’s OK!” Granny shouted over them. The girls stopped talking and struggled to catch their breaths.

  “Mr. Canis is alive,” Daphne said.

  “Of course I am,” a voice said from the corner. They turned and found an exhausted-looking Mr. Canis sitting in a chair. The old man had never been the picture of health, but now he looked especially bad. His eyes were bloodshot and his face seemed to be hanging onto his head for dear life.

  “It’s happening again?” Hamstead said when he stepped into the room and saw the old man.

  “No, it is different this time,” Mr. Canis said as his blue eyes flashed in the dark room. He pulled himself to his feet and leaned against the wall. “The explosion changed some things in unexpected ways. I have access to the Wolf’s abilities but my control over him is . . . fading. I am also having some difficulties completing the change to my human form.”

  He turned slightly to show the bushy brown tail sticking out the back of his trousers.

  Sabrina turned to her grandmother. “Did you know he was still alive?”

  Granny Relda nodded. “Yes.”

  “You lied to us!”

  “Because I asked her to,” Canis said. “I wanted to save you from having to mourn my death twice.”

  “I don’t understand,” Daphne said.

  “He means he was going to kill himself,” Sabrina said. “Why?”

  “Because I would rather die than let the Wolf loose again. Every one of his victims lives inside my mind. I hear them beg for mercy that never came. I see the terror in their faces as they died. I will never let him free again. His crimes are still destroying lives, including your own. You’ve seen today the repercussions of his violence.”

  “You drove Little Red Riding Hood insane,” Sabrina said.

  “I took her family from her,” Mr. Canis whispered. The old man hung his tired head.

  Sheriff Hamstead turned to the girls. “Red Riding Hood has never been the same. When the Everafters from Europe came over on Wilhelm’s ship, she spent the entire voyage raving to herself, drawing these horrible pictures, and screaming through the night. Even the ogres were terrified of her. When we all got settled in Ferryport Landing, our first order of business was finding a place to keep her. We built the asylum at the top of Mount Taurus, hired a few Everafter doctors and nurses to look after her, and basically forgot about her. But she kept finding ways to escape, so something had to be done.”

  “Spaulding Grimm went to Baba Yaga and asked her to cast the same spell on the asylum that she’d used to trap everyone in the town,” Granny Relda said. “It was a brilliant idea. Anyone who became a serious problem got sent to the asylum.”

  “That’s where we put the Jabberwocky, as well,” Sheriff Hamstead added.

  “But the spell that keeps everyone in the town is big-time magic. How did Red Riding Hood get loose again?” Sabrina asked.

  Granny Relda turned to Uncle Jake. He seemed to sink into his clothing.

  “Tell them, Mom. Tell them everything,” he said.

  Granny’s face looked pained but she took a few deep breaths and stood up from her chair. She turned to a framed photo on the wall. It was of her and their grandpa Basil when the two were much younger. Sabrina gues
sed they were in their mid-twenties. Even though the photo was in black and white, it couldn’t hide the color in their faces. Their eyes and cheeks glowed. They were young and in love. Granny took the photo off the wall and looked at it lovingly.

  “Oh, where to start? I guess at the beginning. When I was twenty-six I met a man at a party in Berlin. A week later I married him. His name was Basil Grimm.

  “I didn’t know anything about the Grimm family really, other than what I had learned about Jacob and Wilhelm in school. All I knew was that Basil was a handsome, adventurous, slightly arrogant American who swept me off my feet. He told me we were going on vacation. It would be the last vacation we ever took, but we packed memories into it that would last a lifetime. We traveled the globe together on a two-year honeymoon.

  “We went everywhere: Istanbul, Hawaii, Alaska, the Amazon, South Africa, the Galápagos Islands—it was exhilarating. Every morning we woke up in a strange new land, hungry to explore. These were some of the happiest times of my life. A year into the trip I got pregnant with your father, but it didn’t stop our adventure. We continued to travel even after he was born.”

  Granny put the photo back and crossed the room to where another framed photo hung. This one was of the couple in a snowy landscape, running a dogsled. She took it off the wall and admired it.

  “Before the two years were quite up, Basil got a letter from his sister Matilda telling him he had to come home. His brother, your great-uncle Edwin, had passed away, so we came to Ferryport Landing as quickly as we could. And then I was introduced to the family business.”

  Granny put the photo back on the wall.

  “Your Uncle Jake was born a year later, shortly after Matilda passed away from pneumonia. Basil was proud of his boys and was determined that they would carry on the family responsibility. Even when they were babies, he would stand over their cribs and read them fairy tales. When they were five, he set them loose in the Hall of Wonders, giving them free rein and sets of keys of their own. When other boys their age were playing baseball, Henry and Jacob were playing with magic wands and flying carpets and dragons. By the time they were young men, they were as apt at magical weaponry and lore as any Everafter in the town.”