I whelped, throwing back the covers. Lathering some antibacterial gel on, I hurried into some sweats and nabbed a sweatshirt. Socks and sneakers were next, and then I went into the front room. Kristina and Casey were on the couch, a bag of chips between them, and Fifty Shades of Grey on the television screen.
“Let me guess.” Casey pointed at me, a chip in hand. “Sexy times with your man?”
Kristina’s eyes were glazed.
She didn’t say anything, just reached for a handful of chips and stuffed them into her mouth.
“Is that okay? I’ll be here tomorrow night because of classes the next day, but we still have one day left.”
Casey waved me off, popping the chip into her mouth. “You have fun and tell us everything later. We’ll live vicariously through you.”
“Speak for yourself.” Kristina grabbed another handful of chips. “I have a man.”
Casey sighed. “You both have men. I hate you.”
They each waved as I left. Going to the back door, I texted Shay where I was, but it wasn’t long until headlights flashed over the building. His Jeep pulled into our parking lot and turned so the passenger’s door was facing me.
I said as I got in, “Hey.”
“Hey.” He raked me over, his eyes darkened from hunger.
I didn’t have a smart comment to make. I was feeling the same hunger he was, but I reached for my seat belt and looked up.
Everything froze for a second.
I gasped, seeing Phoebe at her window. She wore the same blank and almost dead expression, and she was looking right back at me. There was no reason for me to gasp. It was late at night. She’d been up. It made sense she might be curious about a car’s headlights at night, but it was how she was standing at the window.
Like she’d been waiting.
Like she knew to watch for me.
It sent a shiver down my spine.
Shay was pulling away from the curb, and he glanced over. “What is it?”
I told him about Phoebe, but he only frowned. “Cameron has a sister? I had no clue. What’s she like?”
“She’s . . . odd.”
He shrugged. “Did you want me to say something to Cameron about her?”
“No. I don’t even really know why I said something now.” I still felt unsettled, that was why, but I didn’t know if I should feel that way?
He nodded, and when we got to his place, and in his room, he turned that wicked grin back on. “Now. About that sexting we were doing . . .”
Shay woke me the next morning by trailing kisses up my naked back. He was braced over me, and I looked, my head buried into the pillow. “Morning.”
He grinned, dropping one last kiss to the back of my shoulder. “Morning.” He jumped over me in one smooth and lithe movement, landing quietly on the floor where he didn’t pause as he bent down and scooped up my phone. He tossed it to land on the bed where he just vacated. “Your friends keep calling you. The buzzing woke me up.”
“My friends?” I rolled over to grab it, pulling his sheet to cover my breasts. How did he know? But he was right. He went into the bathroom in his naked gloriousness, and I opened the first text from Kristina when I heard the shower turn on.
Kristina: Hey, girl! Get back here. C, S, L, and I are going to the campus diner for food. Your presence is necessary!
Another text an hour later.
Kristina: Okay. We’re seriously going. Getting dressed. I’m going to unleash Casey on you. She’s about to start calling.
Casey: Roommate dinner. Now! Where are you?
Five minutes after that one.
Casey: Okay. Correction. S and L are coming, but we’re all going to be roommates one day. Get your cute ass here now!
Then the phone calls started.
I had one every five minutes.
My phone started ringing, and I hit answer, not needing to see who it was first. “Morning, Casey.”
“AH! You’re awake? You guys stopped having sex?”
I laughed, rolling to my side with my back to the bathroom. The shower had stopped, and I didn’t need to get more distracted than I already was. I tucked the phone close to my ear. “Ha-ha. We just woke up.”
“It’s eleven in the morning.”
“And we didn’t get to sleep—”
Shay said, coming back into the room, “Does she really have to know that?”
I changed, “—later than when I left.”
“Hm-mm.” A knowing grunt came from her. “Okay. Listen, we were going to meet the girls there now, but we’ll wait another thirty minutes. Can you get here by then? We want you to come today. It was a whole tradition we started last semester, and you’re a part of it now.”
Warmth spread over me, and I sat up, meeting Shay’s gaze. “Yeah. Just go there. I have clothes here. I can change and meet you guys.”
Shay frowned, ducking his head to pull a shirt on. He already pulled on some jeans, but he didn’t buckle them.
“Okay. We will see you there, then!”
I hung up and said, pulling my knees up against my chest, “They’re doing a dinner thing, but I think it’s a lunch thing.”
He grabbed his socks and shoes and padded over to sit next to me. “In that case, I better leave the room while you’re in the shower. I don’t trust myself.” He leaned over, kissing me, and I sighed. I fell into him, and he growled, picking me up to sit on his lap. I wound my arms around his neck, still kissing, and it wasn’t long before he began tugging that sheet away from me.
“No, no.” I stood, taking the sheet with me. “You take this off, and we won’t be leaving until long after I was supposed to be there.” I whisked it around me, grinning over my shoulder. “Don’t come into the shower.”
He laughed, raking a hand through his wet hair. “Christ. I think I’m addicted to you.” He grabbed his own phone and gestured for the door, taking his keys and wallet, too. “I’ll be downstairs.”
After a quick shower, I decided to let my hair air-dry and pull it into a braid later. I grabbed clean clothes from a drawer I’d been using, dressed, and headed downstairs.
I found Shay sitting on the back patio. He was talking with more people I didn’t recognize, and all said bye when we took off.
We had five minutes to get there.
I asked, after we were in his Jeep and heading back, “Who were those people?”
“One of our roommates goes to a different college in town. Those were some of his buddies.”
“I thought it was only football players in the house?”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “Most of us are football players, but we have two who aren’t. One is Linde’s cousin. He’s the dude who goes to the other college. Those were his friends, but we got another guy I know from high school. That’s why Cameron was at the house that night. He’s good buddies with the same guy. He stayed to hang out with him.”
Cameron.
Who was dating the gorgeous Sabrina.
Whose sister was on my floor.
I was hearing about the high school buddy he and Shay shared now?
None of it was sitting right with me. I didn’t know why. I mean, Shay and I didn’t have a lot of serious talks, like he said earlier, but a girl should maybe know certain things about the guy she’s sleeping with.
Right?
Then again, we started dating under extenuating circumstances. Fuck. We started making out and sleeping together under extenuating circumstances. I’d practically been living with him for a month and a half before holiday break.
Some of these conversations should’ve come up then.
Maybe?
But no. I was attacked. I was dealing with that whole situation. The normal conversations a guy and a girl starting to date have didn’t happen. It was like we were playing catch-up. It felt weird to be the one asking the questions. I didn’t want to be the girlfriend who’d appear like she was nagging or needling for information.
The whole thing gave me a hot rash.
I needed to think about something else. “I have a counselor appointment at the end of the week.”
Good one, Clarke. I cringed at myself. That was what I went with? My counselor?
“Yeah? You want a ride there?”
I shook my head. “You have classes, I think. I can drive myself.”
“You’re not seeing the one on campus?”
Another shake of my head. “I liked the hospital one better, so I’m going back to her.”
“That’s good.” He glanced over to me, pulling into campus now. “That you’re continuing with the sessions. I know that was a criteria for school last semester, but you’re keeping it up.”
“Yeah. Well.” I had to talk to someone about it. It never worked its way into my normal daily conversations, with reason. I didn’t like talking about it.
“Well?” He took another right, turning into the parking lot by the campus diner.
“What?”
“You said ‘well.’ What’d you mean by that?”
“Oh.” He stopped in front of the diner, and I reached for the door handle.
“Hey.” He softened his tone. “Look at me.”
I did, holding on to that door handle so tightly my knuckles strained. “Yeah?”
I didn’t want to look into his eyes. I didn’t want to see the kindness, sympathy, concern, all those emotions and qualities that had me fall for him as fast as I did, despite how I fought against it. But I looked, and I was hooked, like every time he smiled at me, brushed a hand over my face, tucked some hair behind my ear, or kissed me in that so-gentle way he did sometimes. It made my heart speed up, and I was feeling the repercussions all over again.
Fucking A.
I was falling in love.
“You okay?”
I couldn’t answer. My throat was momentarily paralyzed.
“Kennedy?” He reached over, brushing the back of his knuckles over my cheek.
I felt a tear forming and cleared my throat. I managed a smile. “I’m fine. Just . . . I don’t talk about the attack that much. It still affects me.”
He frowned, his hand falling away. “I’ve noticed. Am I supposed to ask you about it? I don’t really know my role regarding that area. Should I just let you talk when you want to? Shit. Maybe I shouldn’t even be asking you this right now.” He looked so torn, and I took pity on him.
I caught his hand, squeezing it. “You’re doing just fine. I don’t like to think about it, honestly, but I know I have to, and when I need to talk, I will.”
He nodded. “Okay. Well, I’m here. You know that, right?” He gestured between us, a half-grin appearing. “I mean, the sex is fucking fantastic, but I’m here for the serious stuff, too.”
I matched his grin. “You always know the right things to say.”
His half-grin formed into a full one, and he leaned over. He whispered, his lips meeting mine as I met him halfway, “You know it. That’s why you’re dating me, because I say the right things.”
I barked out a laugh, opening the door and getting out. “Right. Totally PC, too.”
“You’re damn straight.” He winked.
I laughed once more, giving him a small wave. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Have fun with your friends. Call me if you want to see me tonight. Otherwise, I’ll call later.”
I nodded and then headed in as he pulled away. There were people outside the diner who’d recognized Shay and his Jeep, but I ignored the looks as they watched me walk inside. I had a feeling it’d be like that for the rest of my time dating him.
The diner wasn’t too crowded when I went inside. Most students were just arriving back that day. It was close to noon, and I had no doubt the place would be packed in the evening. Everyone would want to catch up with their friends.
Kristina and Casey waved from a back booth. Sarah and Laura were there, and they turned to give me welcoming smiles.
Casey pulled out her phone when I got to the table. “You’re only two minutes late. Holy shit, woman. I was for sure you and that hot man of yours would try for a quickie.” She whistled. “I’m impressed.”
“Ha-ha.” I nodded hello to everyone, dropping into the seat beside Sarah and across from Kristina.
A large pizza was on the table, and everyone had one or two pieces on their plates. I asked, noting the pizza didn’t look touched, “Is this the second pizza you ordered?”
Kristina nodded. “We were hungry.”
Casey grunted. “We were hungover. Pizza cures that shit.”
Sarah and Laura laughed, grabbing their pieces to nibble on.
“Did you have fun last night?”
Casey choked on her piece. “You’re going to have to be more specific. Our girl lives a pretty active life.”
Kristina’s cheeks pinked, but she rolled her eyes. “Last night, movies at Shay’s house. Did you have fun?”
“I did. Did you?”
She nodded. “Linde’s a lot of fun. He’s a good guy.”
Casey asked, “Is he single?”
I frowned. “Why? Are you interested?”
Casey lifted up a shoulder. “Maybe.”
I frowned again. “What about my brother?”
“You want the details on your brother’s love life?” Sarah laughed as she asked me.
I didn’t, but I saw the look in Casey’s eyes. I was thinking I was going to find out more than I wanted.
Casey leaned forward, propping her elbows on the table. “I have a thing for your brother. I don’t think he has one for me. I haven’t talked to him in forever.”
“Really?”
I was surprised. I asked Gage to back off, but he hadn’t, and then I stopped caring.
I was thinking back over the holiday. “I don’t remember him talking about other girls when we were home. Usually, he’ll mention one or two. That’s why you asked about Linde?” I didn’t wait for her answer. I dropped my voice. “He’s a great guy.”
“I know.” Her head lowered. “That’s why I’m asking.”
I didn’t know what to say, and I also didn’t see any waitresses around the place. Spotting a few people going to their tables with trays of food, I asked, “Do I need to go up and order?”
Kristina didn’t answer. She started to slip out of the booth. “I’ll go with you.” Once we were out of earshot, she asked, “You okay? Is it weird with the whole Casey/Gage/Linde thing?”
There was a line at the counter to order, and we stood at the end. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“I think she doesn’t want to get hurt. She’s a bit sensitive after, you know.”
The rape.
My attack.
The aftereffects would never end, I was realizing.
“Yeah. I get that.”