Monday, September 24

  We are credibly informed, that the great Person dined this Day with the Club at the Cat-and-Bagpipes in the City, on cold round of boiled beef. This, it seems, he was under some necessity of doing (though he rather dislikes beef) because truly the Ministers were to be all abroad somewhere to dine on hot roast Venison. It is thought that if the Queen had been at home, he would not have been so slighted. And though he shows outwardly no Marks of Dissatisfaction, it is suspected that he begins to wish for her Majesty’s Return.

  It is currently reported, that poor Nanny had nothing for Dinner in the Kitchen, for herself and Puss, but the Scrapings of the Bones of Saturday’s Mutton.

  This Evening there was high Play at the Groom Porters in Cravenstreet House. The Great Person lost Money. It is supposed the Ministers, as is usually supposed of all Ministers, shared the Emoluments among them.

  Tuesday, September 25

  This Morning the good Lord Hutton called at Cravenstreet House, and enquired very respectfully and affectionately concerning the Welfare of the absent Queen. He then imparted to the big Man a piece of intelligence important to them both, which he had just received from Lady Hawkesworth, viz. That amiable and excellent Companion Miss Dorothea Blount had made a vow to marry absolutely him of the two, whose wife should first depart this life. It is impossible to express with Words the various Agitations of Mind appearing in both their Faces on this Occasion. Vanity at the Preference given them to the rest of Mankind; Affection to their present Wives; Fear of losing them; Hope, (if they must lose them) to obtain the proposed Comfort; Jealousy of each other, in case both Wives should die together; &c. &c. &c. all working at the same time, jumbled their features into inexplicable confusion. They parted at length with Professions and outward Appearances indeed of ever-during Friendship; but it was shrewdly suspected that each of them sincerely wished Health and long Life to the other’s Wife; and that however long either of those Friends might like to live himself, the other would be very well pleased to survive him.

  It is remarked that the skies have wept every day in Cravenstreet the Absence of the Queen.

  The Public may be assured, that this Morning a certain great Person was asked very complaisantly by the Mistress of the Household, if he would choose to have the blade bone of Saturday’s Mutton that had been kept for his dinner today, broiled or cold? He answered gravely, If there is any flesh on it, it may be broiled; if not, it may as well be cold. Orders were accordingly given for broiling it. But when it came to table, there was indeed so very little flesh, or rather none at all (Puss having dined on it yesterday after Nanny) that if our new Administration had been as good Economists as they would be thought, the Expense of Broiling might well have been saved to the Public, and carried to the Sinking Fund. It is assured the great Person bears all with infinite Patience. But the Nation is astonished at the insolent presumption that dares treat so much mildness in so cruel a manner.

  A terrible accident had like to have happened this Afternoon at Tea. The boiler was set too near the end of the little square table. The first Ministress was sitting at one end of the table to administer the Tea; the great Person was about to sit down at the other End where the Boiler stood. By a sudden motion, the Lady gave the table a tilt. Had it gone over, the great Person must have been scalded; perhaps to Death. Various are the Surmises and Observations on this Occasion. The Godly say, it would have been a just Judgment on him, for preventing by his Laziness, the Family’s going to Church last Sunday. The Opposition do not stick to insinuate that there was a design to scald him, prevented only by his quick catching the table. The Friends of the Ministry give out, that he carelessly jogged the Table himself, and would have been inevitably scalded had not the Ministress saved him. It is hard for the Public to come at the Truth in these Cases. At six o’clock this Afternoon News came by the Post, that her Majesty arrived safely at Rochester on Saturday Night. The Bells immediately rang for Candles, to illuminate the Parlor; the Court went into Cribbage, and the Evening concluded with every other Demonstration of Joy.

  It is reported that all the principal Officers of the State, have received an Invitation from the Duchess Dowager of Rochester to go down thither on Saturday next. But it is not yet known whether the great Affairs they have on their hands will permit them to make this excursion.

  We hear that from the Time of her Majesty’s leaving Craven Street House to this Day, no care is taken to file the Newspapers; but they lie about in every room, in every window, and on every chair, just where the Doctor lays them when he has read them. It is impossible Government can long go on in such Hands.

  To the Publisher of the Craven Street Gazette

  Sir,

  I make no doubt of the truth of what the papers tell us, that a certain great person has been half-starved on the bare blade-bone, of a sheep (I cannot call it of Mutton because none was on it) by a Set of the most careless, thoughtless, inconsiderate, corrupt, ignorant, blundering, foolish, crafty, and Knavish Ministers, that ever got into a House and pretended to govern a Family and provide a Dinner. Alas, for the poor Old England of Craven Street! If these nefarious Wretches continue in power another week, the nation will be ruined! Undone!—totally undone, if the Queen does not return; or (which is better) turn them all out and appoint me and my Friends to succeed them. I am a great Admirer of your useful and impartial Paper; and therefore request you will insert this without fail; from Your humble Servant,

  Indignation

  To the Publisher of the Craven Street Gazette

  Sir,

  Your Correspondent Indignation has made a fine Story in your Paper against our excellent Cravenstreet Ministry, as if they meant to starve his Highness, giving him only a bare Blade Bone for his Dinner, while they riot upon roast Venison, &c. The Wickedness of Writers in this Age is truly amazing! I believe we never had since the Foundation of our State, a more faithful, upright, worthy, careful, considerate, incorrupt, discreet, wise, prudent and beneficent Ministry than the present. But if even the Angel Gabriel would condescend to be our Minister and provide our Dinners, he could scarcely escape Newspaper Defamation from a Gang of hungry ever-restless, discontented and malicious Scribblers. It is, Sir, a piece of Justice you owe our righteous Administration to undeceive the Public on this Occasion, by assuring them of the Fact, which is, that there was provided; and actually smoking on the Table under his Royal Nose at the same Instant, as fine a Piece of Ribs of Beef, roasted, as ever Knife was put into; with Potatoes, Horse radish, pickled Walnuts, &c. which Beef his Highness might have eaten of, if so he had pleased to do; and which he forbore to do, merely from a whimsical Opinion (with Respect be it spoken) that Beef doth not with him perspire well, but makes his Back itch, to his no small Vexation, now that he hath lost the little Chinese Ivory Hand at the End of a Stick, commonly called a Scratchback, presented to him by her Majesty. This is the Truth; and if your boasted Impartiality is real, you will not hesitate a Moment to insert this Letter in your very next Paper. I am, though a little angry with you at present. Yours as you behave,

  A Hater of Scandal

  Junius and Cinna came to Hand too late for this Day’s Paper, but shall have Place in our next.

  Marriages. None since our last; but Puss begins to go a Courting.

  Deaths. In the back Closet, and elsewhere, many poor Mice.

  Stocks. Biscuit very low. Buckwheat and Indian meal, both sour. Tea, lowering daily in the Canister.

  A Showdown with Lord

  Hillsborough

  Franklin’s battles with the colonial secretary, Lord Hillsborough, became more heated after Britain imposed new duties, especially on tea imports. Franklin, who was the agent for Pennsylvania and other colonies, was appointed by the Massachusetts House of Representatives to represent them as well. In January 1771 he obtained an audience with Hillsborough to present his new credentials. The meeting was so acrimonious that Franklin immediately went back to Craven Street to write a transcript of it. Hillsboro
ugh “took great offense at some of my last words, which he calls extremely rude and abusive,” Franklin reported to a friend in Boston. “I find that he did not mistake me.”

  JANUARY 16, 1771

  I went this morning to wait on Lord Hillsborough. The porter at first denied his lordship, on which I left my name, and drove off. But before the coach got out of the square, the coachman heard a call, turned, and went back to the door, when the porter came and said, his lordship will see you, sir. I was shown into the levee room, where I found Governor Barnard, who I understand attends there constantly. Several other gentlemen were there attending, with whom I sat down a few minutes. When Secretary Pownall came out to us, and said his lordship desired I would come in.

  I was pleased with this ready admission, and preference, (having sometimes waited 3 or 4 hours for my turn) and being pleased, I could more easily put on the open cheerful countenance that my friends advised me to wear. His lordship came towards me, and said I was dressing in order to go to court; but hearing that you were at the door, who are a man of business, I determined to see you immediately. I thanked his lordship and said that my business at present was not much, it was only to pay my respects to his lordship and to acquaint him with my appointment by the House of Representatives of the province of Massachusetts Bay, to be their agent here, in which station if I could be of any service I was going on to say, to the public I should be very happy; but his lordship whose countenance changed at my naming that province cut me short, by saying, with something between a smile and a sneer,

  Lord H.: I must set you right there, Mr. Franklin, you are not Agent.

  Franklin: Why; my Lord?

  Lord H.: You are not appointed.

  Franklin: I do not understand your Lordship. I have the Appointment in my Pocket.

  Lord H.: You are mistaken. I have later and better advices. I have a letter from Governor Hutchinson. He would not give his Assent to the Bill.

  Franklin: There was no Bill, my Lord; it is a vote of the House.

  Lord H.: There was a Bill presented to the Governor, for the purpose of appointing you, and another, one Dr. Lee, I think he is called, to which the Governor refused his Assent.

  Franklin: I cannot understand this, my Lord. I think There must be some mistake in it. Is your Lordship quite sure that you have such a Letter?

  Lord H.: I will convince you of it directly. Rings the Bell. Mr. Pownall will come in and satisfy you.

  Franklin: You are going to Court. I will wait on your Lordship another time.

  Lord H.: No, stay, He will come in immediately. To the Servant. Tell Mr. Pownall I want him. Mr. Pownall comes in.

  Lord H.: Have not you at hand Governor Hutchinson’s letter mentioning his refusing his Assent to the Bill for appointing Dr. Franklin Agent?

  Secretary Pownall: My Lord?

  Lord H.: Is there not such a Letter?

  Secretary Pownall: No, my Lord. There is a Letter relating to some Bill for payment of Salary to Mr. DeBerdt and I think to some other Agent, to which the Governor had refused his Assent.

  Lord H.: And is there nothing in that Letter to the purpose I mention?

  Secretary Pownall: No, my Lord.

  Franklin: I thought it could not well be, my Lord, as my Letters are by the last Ships and mention no such Thing. Here is an authentic Copy of the Vote of the House appointing me, in which there is no Mention of any Act intended. Will your Lordship please to look at it? (With some seeming Unwillingness he takes it, but does not look into it).

  Lord H.: An Information of this kind is not properly brought to me as Secretary of State. The Board of Trade is the proper Place.

  Franklin: I will leave the Paper then with Mr. Pownall, to be

  Lord H.: (Hastily) To what End would you leave it with him?

  Franklin: To be entered on the Minutes of that Board, as usual.

  Lord H.: (Angrily) It shall not be entered there. No such Paper shall be entered there while I have any thing to do with the Business of that Board. The House of Representatives has no Right to appoint an Agent. We shall take no Notice of any Agents but such as are appointed by Acts of Assembly to which the Governor gives his Assent. We have had Confusion enough already. Here is one Agent appointed by the Council, another by the House of Representatives; Which of these is Agent for the Province? Who are we to hear on Provincial Affairs? An Agent appointed by Act of Assembly we can understand. No other will be attended to for the future, I can assure you.

  Franklin: I cannot conceive, my Lord, why the Consent of the Governor should be thought necessary to the Appointment of an Agent for the People. It seems to me, that

  Lord H.: (With a mixed Look of Anger and Contempt) I shall not enter into a Dispute with you, Sir, upon this Subject.

  Franklin: I beg your Lordships Pardon. I do not presume to dispute with your

  Lordship: I would only say, that it seems to me, that every Body of Men, who cannot appear in Person where Business relating to them may be transacted, should have a Right to appear by an Agent; The Concurrence of the Governor does not seem to me necessary. It is the Business of the People that is to be done, he is not one of them, he is himself an Agent.

  Lord H.: Whose Agent is he? (Hastily).

  Franklin: The King’s, my Lord.

  Lord H.: No such Matter. He is one of the Corporation, by the Province Charter. No Agent can be appointed but by an Act, nor any Act pass without his Assent. Besides, This Proceeding is directly contrary to express Instructions.

  Franklin: I did not know there had been such Instructions, I am not concerned in any Offence against them, and

  Lord H.: Yes, your Offering such a Paper to be entered is an Offence against them. (Folding it up again, without having read a Word of it.) No such Appointment shall be entered. When I came into the Administration of American Affairs, I found them in great Disorder; By my Firmness they are now something mended; and while I have the Honor to hold the Seals, I shall continue the same Conduct, the same Firmness. I think My Duty to the Master I serve and to the Government of this Nation require it of me. If that Conduct is not approved, They may take my Office from me when they please. I shall make em a Bow, and thank em. I shall resign with Pleasure. That Gentleman knows it. (Pointing to Mr. Pownall.) But while I continue in it, I shall resolutely persevere in the same firmness. (Spoken with great Warmth, and turning pale in his Discourse, as if he was angry at something or somebody besides the Agent; and of more Importance) Consequence to himself.

  Franklin: (Reaching out his Hand for the Paper, which his Lordship returned to him) I beg your Lordship’s Pardon for taking up so much of your time. It is I believe of no great Importance whether the Appointment is acknowledged or not, for I have not the least Conception that an Agent can at present be of any Use, to any of the Colonies. I shall therefore give your Lordship no farther Trouble. Withdrew.

  The Seeds of a Total Disunion

  The showdown with Hillsborough caused Franklin to contemplate the worst: that the dispute between Britain and America might lead to revolution and total separation. He did, however, hold out hope that prudent conduct could thwart those in Britain who favored even more repressive measures.

  TO THE MASSACHUSETTS HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, MAY 15, 1771

  Gentlemen,

  …I think one may clearly see, in the system of customs to be exacted in America by act of Parliament, the seeds sown of a total disunion of the two countries, though, as yet, that event may be at a considerable distance. The course and natural progress seems to be, first, the appointment of needy men as officers, for others do not care to leave England; then, their necessities make them rapacious, their office makes them proud and insolent, their insolence and rapacity make them odious, and, being conscious that they are hated, they become malicious; their malice urges them to a continual abuse of the inhabitants in their letters to administration, representing them as disaffected and rebellious, and (to encourage the use of severity) as weak, divided, timid, and cowardly. Government
believes all; thinks it necessary to support and countenance its officers; their quarrelling with the people is deemed a mark and consequence of their fidelity; they are therefore more highly rewarded, and this makes their conduct still more insolent and provoking.

  The resentment of the people will, at times and on particular incidents, burst into outrages and violence upon such officers, and this naturally draws down severity and acts of further oppression from hence. The more the people are dissatisfied, the more rigor will be thought necessary; severe punishments will be inflicted to terrify; rights and privileges will be abolished; greater force will then be required to secure execution and submission; the expense will become enormous; it will then be thought proper, by fresh exactions, to make the people defray it; thence, the British nation and government will become odious, the subjection to it will be deemed no longer tolerable; war ensues, and the bloody struggle will end in absolute slavery to America, or ruin to Britain by the loss of her colonies; the latter most probable, from America’s growing strength and magnitude.

  But, as the whole empire must, in either case, be greatly weakened, I cannot but wish to see much patience and the utmost discretion in our general conduct, that the fatal period may be postponed, and that, whenever this catastrophe shall happen, it may appear to all mankind, that the fault has not been ours. And, since the collection of these duties has already cost Britain infinitely more, in the loss of commerce, than they amount to, and that loss is likely to continue and increase by the encouragement given to our manufactures through resentment; and since the best pretence for establishing and enforcing the duties is the regulation of trade for the general advantage, it seems to me, that it would be much better for Britain to give them up, on condition of the colonies undertaking to enforce and collect such, as are thought fit to be continued, by laws of their own, and officers of their own appointment, for the public uses of their respective governments. This would alone destroy those seeds of disunion, and both countries might thence much longer continue to grow great together, more secure by their united strength, and more formidable to their common enemies. But the power of appointing friends and dependents to profitable offices is too pleasing to most administrations, to be easily parted with or lessened; and therefore such a proposition, if it were made, is not very likely to meet with attention.