Then I realized what Kelly had just said. He’d caught Gerard looking at me. Gerard? The prickly cactus? Why did my insides suddenly feel all melty and fluttery at the thought?
I had again been looking down the hall, but now I was looking back at Kels, trying to see if he was just pulling a mean prank on me. But the angry glint in his stormy eyes told me that he, at least, believed it. It was almost like getting kicked in the stomach by an angry mule. Brows dropping, I sat up in a rush and glanced at him.
“How does he look at me?” My words sounded breathy even to my ears.
And I knew it was weird because Kels’ nostrils flared, and he looked like I’d just lost my ever-loving mind.
“For the love of Pete, don’t tell me you like him?”
“No.” I wrinkled my nose, huffing and snorting, even though I sort of did. I pushed my empty plate away with suddenly shaky fingers. “’Course not.”
He gasped. “You do. You like him! Dammit, Betty. I mean, I know you have bad taste in guys—”
“Hey!” I scowled.
“It’s true. You do,” Briley said with a shrug.
I pursed my lips. It was no fun being ganged up on by boys. “Do not.” I crossed my arms in a petulant manner.
“But this is going too far. He could be a serial killer, for all you know. This is Nowheresville, USA. How in the hell did a man like that suddenly show up here? Makes no sense. I forbid this.”
I held up a finger. “One, I’m not thirteen, and I hate to say this, Kels, but you ain’t Daddy. You can’t forbid me anything.”
His brown eyes, so similar to my own, narrowed to near slits.
“Two.” I ticked off another finger. “He’s not a serial killer.”
“You don’t know—”
“If he was, would he have saved me? I doubt it.” I said it like I was confident, but darn it all, now I was nervous because he could be. He totally could be. With those shifting mood swings of his, and the way he looked at me all hot and heavy one second and then cold and glacial the next, I couldn’t make heads or tails of the guy.
But there was zero chance of me owning up to that to my brother. Plus, Kelly was completely biased. What I needed to do was talk to my bestie and get her feelings on this. Thinking about Trishelle immediately tugged a frown onto my lips. There’d be no talking to her, though. Not now. Maybe not ever.
Kelly cocked his head, giving me a “yeah, you see it, too” sort of look, completely mistaking my frown for something else. I rolled my eyes.
My brother and I fought like cats and dogs, but buried underneath all the grouchiness was genuine affection. I knew he worried only because he really cared. Still... it was a point of pride for me that I won this debate because it was Kelly, and my brother couldn’t one up me, and because I believed in something that made absolutely no sense.
Like floating through stars. Like touching Gerard’s hand, and feeling as though time had stopped spinning finally. Like I’d been looking all my life for something and, surprise surprise, what I’d been looking for had been him.
Which made the feminist in me scream because I didn’t need a man to be happy. In truth, losing James wasn’t more than a temporary hiccup. But Gerard, he felt... vital.
“And three—” The words died on my tongue when said “serial killer” finally came out of the bathroom and down the hall.
Rather than rejoin us, though, he moved through the kitchen to the front door and left without ever looking back once. My heart rattled so hard that, for just a second, I couldn’t remember how to breathe right.
Had he left me? Just like that? Without a word of goodbye?
Kelly huffed. “’Nother winner you found there, Bets.”
I hissed—literally hissed—back at him because my thoughts were a riot of questions.
Shouldn’t I be happy Gerard left? Shouldn’t that have just proved to Kelly that Gerard was definitely no serial killer if he was willing to leave his trophy behind?
So why did it suddenly feel like my chest had turned to ice and my stomach hurt? It ached with the kind of bone deep pain that flowed all the way through me. Words that made zero sense floated through my head.
But you promised you’d never leave...
Then I heard the squeak of the porch swing as Gerard sat on it, and relief rolled through me like a wave, making me feel weak in the knees and dizzy. Very, very dizzy.
Frowning and grabbing hold of my forehead, I started to worry that maybe I’d drowned today, and that what I was living now was some sort of terrible ghostly memory that would haunt me all the days of my eternal life.
I grimaced.
“What?” Kelly’s brows dipped.
Blinking, I shook my head. The only thing I knew right now was that I needed to go out there. I needed to sit with him. I needed to make sure he was okay.
Which was all kinds of screwed up. I was acting like a perfect loony tunes right now, and I’d die if anyone could read my thoughts. Thankfully, my shameful secret was safe with me.
Setting down my crinkled napkin, I pointed to the table. “Leave all this the way it is. I’ll clean up when I come back in. Okay?”
“Where are you going? You’re acting crazy weird, even for you.” Kelly was shaking his head, telling me without words to not go to Gerard, to stay put and to forget about all of this.
But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. The need to go to him was too strong. I felt anxious and nervous and terrified that he might try to leave me without saying goodbye.
Getting up, I ignored my brother’s imploring eyes and went to join the big, sexy Frenchman. The door squeaked on rusted hinges as I walked out. Gerard looked up at me, wearing an expression of such absolute sadness that I felt it like a literal blow to my chest. I rubbed at my heart with the pad of my thumb, trying to ease the ache.
Blue-jean-colored eyes made me go weak in the knees as I offered him a soft smile and said, “Hey, you okay?”
He continued to rock back and forth, looking straight ahead through the line of mature oaks that bounded Kelly’s front yard. My brother and I had grown up feral, loving the outdoors and everything that came with it. It was why he’d bought this abandoned farmhouse in the middle of absolutely nowhere, to try and raise Briley the same way.
Most days, I loved the quiet of his place. Today, it felt lonely.
Gerard still didn’t say anything, and now I was beginning to suspect that he’d been quiet all through dinner not because he was angry, but maybe because he was heartsick.
Where was he from? The stars? The place he and I had hovered in for hours? I was starting to think had just been one bad acid trip after all because there was no way we’d been up there.
No way.
Right?
Nibbling on the corner of my lip, I debated whether I should sit down beside him or just turn around and let him be. It took me all of a second to decide to take a seat. He finally looked at me from the corner of his eye, still rocking back and forth at a steady, sleepy pace.
“Penny for your thoughts,” I said after a minute of dead silence, save for the creak, creak, creak of the rusted chain in need of oiling. Kelly worked as a full-time nurse at the local hospital. I was a full-time librarian. What spare time we did have, we devoted to Briley. Taking care of rusted hinges and chains was definitely low on the list of priorities, and yet I found myself a little embarrassed that we’d let things go so badly.
The lawn needed trimming. The hedges were wild and overgrown. Granted, I owned an apartment about ten minutes down the road, but I mostly just slept there. This was where I lived, and I hated the silly thoughts consuming me now.
What did Gerard think?
What kind of place did he come from? Was he rich? Dressed funny as he was, it was obvious his clothes were well tailored. I picked at my thumbnails, feeling more anxious with each sway of the swing.
Because I was clearly incapable of letting the man be, I asked, “You missing home?”
For a minute, I though
t he might not answer, but finally he sighed from deep inside his chest and said, “Thinking. I’m thinking.”
We’d seen the stars together, literally outer space. Well, maybe. Those large mitts of his had fished me out of the brackish, black water of the town pond. Was it any wonder I felt this inexplicable bond with him?
But for as much as I felt it, he didn’t at all seem to share my sentiment.
“’Bout what?” I nudged him with my knee.
An immediate spark of fire flowed through me from the point of contact. Each time I touched him, it watered a seed deep inside of me, a seed that could only grow by getting more and more and more.
I wet my lips, fingers fidgety on my lap.
“You really want to talk to me?” He chuckled, and the sound was low and husky and made my blood feel hot. “Go back in there, Betty Hart. Go to your family. My mood is too dark right now.”
A muscle in his jaw flexed over and over as he stared at the trees.
Feeling obstinate and mulish, I thrust out my chin. It was a good bet that if someone told me I couldn’t, that was when I wanted it even more.
“If I wanted to be in there, Gerard Caron, then I’d be in there.” I crossed my arms with a huff.
Which, surprise surprise, actually tugged a smile out of the brute. His eyes sparkled, and hope rose like a burning phoenix inside of me at the sight of it.
“You’ve always been able to make me laugh, even when I don’t feel like it,” he said in a rush. Then he stilled, every cell in his body seeming to freeze right before my eyes. He blinked, shook his head, and then growled.
His long body furled, like his muscles were bunching, ready to get up and walk away from me. I slammed my hand over his and squeezed, holding him in place.
“What did you say?” I asked in a quiet rush.
His brows were nothing but deep black slashes on his broad forehead. “Nothing.”
“No. You said, ‘you always know how to—‘”
“Stop,” he bit out curtly.
Wriggling his hand out from under mine, he clenched his hand open and shut. He looked angry. And not just the kind of angry that happened when you stubbed your toe in the middle of the night and wanted to punch your fist through the wall afterward. But the kind of angry that came from seeing something terrible and feeling impotent and useless to try and change it.
I could practically taste the fury roiling off him. It was astringent and bitter on my tongue. But for all that, I didn’t think for one second the guy would actually hurt me.
Which, again, was loco because we didn’t know each other at all. But I did. God help me, I did.
Was he feeling the same thing I was feeling? Was he feeling this intense connection? This strange and overwhelming sensation that we’d known each other once before? And that, once upon a time, that connection had been... everything?
The more time I spent with him, the more those feelings grew. And they were confusing and terrible and so damn painful that it made me want to be crazy again just like I’d been earlier. But I had to keep it together. I had to figure out what was happening and why.
“Gerard, what’s happening to us? Do you know? Do you feel this, too? This... this thing?” I gestured between our chests.
He twirled on his seat, his presence suddenly overwhelming me and making me feel small and helpless, caught in his serpent’s gaze. I swallowed hard, insides rioting with so many emotions I couldn’t understand.
His massive chest heaved in and out like a bellows as he took deep breaths, as though trying to calm his own riotous emotions.
“I don’t know what you’re talking ab—”
I shook my head. “Fine. You want to deny it, fine. But I’m not very good at pretending. I never have been. And from the moment I bumped into you, my life feels like it’s spiraling out of control. Forget for a second about Norman Bates who tried to kill you—and FYI, I did save your life so you could maybe be nice instead of an insensitive jerk right now. But you know as well as I do that something weird is going on, because people don’t have memories of a past that never happened!”
I hadn’t meant to yell at the end, but I realized tears were sliding down my cheeks after my impassioned speech. My heart hurt so damn bad it felt like it was fracturing into a thousand slivers of glass that punctured my soul.
From the very second I’d clapped eyes on him, something had begun to transform in me, desperation and madness was eating away at me, bringing pain and the most intense kind of misery.
I didn’t want to be with him, and yet the thought of him leaving left me reeling, too.
I didn’t realize my hands were balled into fists until, suddenly, his large, callused ones were rubbing over mine gently, almost tenderly. The wildness was still in his eyes, but there was something else, too. Pain. And it was as deep and yawning as mine.
“I do not know who this Norman is, but if you want to know what it is I’m feeling, Betty, then I’ll tell you. I’m angry. I’m terrified that I’m losing my mind. That man who stole us away into the star tunnel was Rumpelstiltskin, a very dangerous, very evil magician. You should never have made the deal you did. You should have let him kill—”
I gasped, snatched my hands out from his grip, and shoved his chest hard. I don’t know why. Believe it or not, I wasn’t usually a violent person, regardless of how I dressed.
But I was angry now. Raging, really. “How dare you,” I bit out. “How dare you say that to me.”
“Why do you care?” he shot right back. “Don’t you realize that none of this is real? That none of this matters? Why do you care like this, Betty, why? You don’t know me. I don’t know you. This shouldn’t—”
“Betty! Come here. Come quick!” It was Kelly’s voice, and it was frantic, interrupting whatever the hell I’d been about to say back to Gerard.
I shot up from my seat, not even thinking, rushing toward the door, full of fear and frenzied with panic. I heard the heavy stomp of Gerard’s boots on the porch behind me, but he could leave for all I cared.
I was so done with him. So done with whatever the hell that temporary loss of sanity had been. I was clear headed now. I could think again. Breathe again. Gerard didn’t need me, but Kelly and Briley did.
Only them.
Only ever them.
I shoved the door open and immediately fell through a tunnel of stars.
Chapter 11
Gerard
I reached for her, heart suddenly pounding in my throat as I saw her arms and legs spin wildly about in midair as we once again fell through the stars. The thought of anything happening to that strange, terrifying, crazy and undeniably attractive female had made me go instantly cold.
Just before impact, I’d yanked her to me by the scruff of her shirt, wrapping my body protectively around hers, bearing the brunt of the fall and moaning as my head exploded with even more visions of stars.
“Never hurt you, my Bets. Never hurt you,” I heard myself mumble. The words felt like they came from far away, but also like they were a part of me, something buried deep, deep inside, but that I’d said with some frequency long ago.
It took me a second to realize we’d stopped falling and another minute to get over the sudden ringing in my ears, but even so, I didn’t open my eyes until I felt her small hand pressing down on my chest and heard her whispered, “What in the world?”
Still holding her tight, I sat up.
“Briley! Kelly!” she screamed, drawing many pairs of eyes our way.
I clamped my hands over her mouth.
We were in an alleyway, with cobblestones grimy and damp from a recent downpour. Stone facades surrounded us. Ahead was a tavern with a swinging wooden placard hanging above its door that read The Rose and Thorn.
Thin, unkempt bodies shambled in and out through the door, most of them merry and laughing, some of them looking like they had bad intentions, and others so piss drunk that they stumbled against the wall, slid right down, and promptly passed out.
/> I knew this tavern. Quite well, in fact. It was my tavern.
Betty clawed at my hand, whimpering and grunting as she tried to shove me off her. I shook my head. “Quite down, pigêon. Try not to draw attention to us, though with the way you look, it seems doubtful we can escape unnoticed.”
Incoherent phrases spilled off her tongue. I caught a few of them. One sounded like, “Let me go.”
I shook my head. “Not until you behave and act like a good little—”
She bit me. The little minx bit the tip of my pointer finger, forcing me to grunt and release her.
When I did, she gave me a look that made me want to laugh, even as I knew that, should I dare, she’d thrash me good.
“Don’t you ever refer to me as a good little girl,” she scolded.
I almost corrected her because it hadn’t been girl but kitten that’d been on the tip of my tongue, but I doubted she’d view that as any better.
Scooting off my lap, she hugged her arms to her chest and stared over toward the tavern with a concerned look knotting her face, giving me ample time to study her profile.
From the moment she’d stood toe to toe with Rumpelstiltskin to protect me, something inside my chest felt like it had clicked. I didn’t know how or what or even why, but I did know that Betty and I shared a past.
But how was I supposed to explain that to her when I didn’t even understand it myself? She knew nothing of my world, of the magic that ruled this place. Watching amazement round her eyes and the way her heart-shaped jaw kept going wider and wider as she witnessed firsthand the differences between her world and mine, I didn’t know how she’d take it.
Suddenly, she squeaked and slapped both her hands over her mouth. But I heard what she’d muttered.
“Holy mother!”
I glanced over and spotted my Belle walking hand in hand with a beast of a man. My heart sank to my knees like stone, making my insides reel and the corner of my mouth curl in revulsion.
I hadn’t wanted to believe the dark prince. Hadn’t wanted to accept his words as truth, but deep down it had been easy to accept, to believe. One letter, the entire time I’d been absent.