CAESAR'S QUIET LUNCH WITH CICERO
BY JAMES T. FIELDS
Have you read how Julius Caesar Made a call on Cicero In his modest Formian villa, Many and many a year ago?
"I shall pass your way," wrote Caesar, "On the Saturnalia, Third, And I'll just drop in, my Tullius, For a quiet friendly word:
"Don't make a stranger of me, Marc, Nor be at all put out, A snack of anything you have Will serve my need, no doubt.
"I wish to show my confidence-- The invitation's mine-- I come to share your simple food, And taste your honest wine."
Up rose M. Tullius Cicero, And seized a Roman punch,-- Then mused upon the god-like soul Was coming round to lunch.
"By Hercules!" he murmured low Unto his lordly self, "There are not many dainties left Upon my pantry shelf!
"But what I have shall Julius share. What, ho!" he proudly cried, "Great Caesar comes this way anon To sit my chair beside.
"A dish of lampreys quickly stew, And cook them with a turn, For that's his favorite pabulum From Mamurra I learn."
* * * * *
His slaves obey their lord's command; The table soon is laid For two distinguished gentlemen,-- One rather bald, 'tis said.
When lo! a messenger appears To sound approach--and then, "Brave Caesar comes to greet his friend With _twice a thousand men_!
"His cohorts rend the air with shouts; That is their dust you see; The trumpeters announce him near!" Said Marcus, "Woe is me!
"Fly, Cassius, fly! assign a guard! Borrow what tents you can! Encamp his soldiers round the field, Or I'm a ruined man!
"Get sheep and oxen by the score! Buy corn at any price! O Jupiter! befriend me now, And give me your advice!"
* * * * *
It turned out better than he feared,-- Things proved enough and good,-- And Caesar made himself at home, And much enjoyed his food.
But Marcus had an awful fright,-- _That_ can not be denied; "I'm glad 'tis over!"--when it was-- The host sat down and sighed,
And when he wrote to Atticus, And all the story told, He ended his epistle thus: "J.C.'s a warrior bold,
"A vastly entertaining man, In Learning quite immense, So full of literary skill, And most uncommon sense,
"But, frankly, I should never say 'No trouble, sir, at all; And when you pass this way again, _Give us another call!_'"