The remoteness had stemmed from Stevie’s mourning of her first husband and their son, and the unconscious hardening of her heart to avoid ever feeling that depth of pain again. It had all but destroyed Cordelia until Stevie realized what she was doing to her child. Since then she had done everything humanly possible to make Cordelia know how much she loved her.
‘I’m not sure you completely understand why Cordelia isn’t telling you about the nightmares,’ he said softly.
He wrapped his arms around her, relieved when she let herself melt back into him, folding her arms over his. She settled her weight against him, allowing him to support her, physically and emotionally. ‘Then help me understand,’ she whispered.
‘You’ve given up everything for her – your job, your house, even your identity, in a way. She’s just a little girl, but she understands that being a cop was a huge part of who you were.’ Stevie had been offered a promotion after she’d recovered from her injury. The job had been an important new role, created just for her, taking into account her disability. She’d never be a detective again, but she could have continued contributing in a meaningful way to the BPD. She’d turned it down, choosing instead to join Clay’s PI team, mostly because of what her police career had cost her child.
‘None of that mattered,’ Stevie insisted. ‘She mattered.’
‘But you miss it sometimes, being a cop.’
‘Sometimes, sure,’ she admitted. ‘When JD comes over to talk about his newest case, I occasionally feel wistful. I thought I’d hidden it, but Cordy knows, doesn’t she?’
‘Of course she does, because she’s just as smart as her mama. She knows you miss it. She understands that she’s the reason you walked away from your career, and part of her is okay with that. Most of her is okay with that, actually. But she wants to be worth your sacrifice.’
Stevie twisted abruptly so that she was looking up into his face. ‘Worth my sacrifice? What does that even mean?’
‘You sold the house that you lived in with her father, Stevie. The man you loved long after he was gone – that you still love.’
Her eyes widened in alarm. ‘I love you, Clay. You know that I’ve put Paul to rest, right?’
‘Sshh,’ he soothed. ‘Of course I know that. So does Cordy. But you sold the house because she was afraid to live there.’ After a suspect on one of Stevie’s old cases had broken in and held Cordelia at gunpoint to force Stevie’s cooperation, the house itself had become part of the little girl’s nightmare. ‘She doesn’t want you to know she’s still having the nightmares because she—’
‘She doesn’t want me to think I sold the house for nothing,’ Stevie whispered. ‘Oh God, Clay. She doesn’t want me to think I made all the changes for nothing.’
Clay kissed her temple. ‘Tell me this: if you had known about the nightmares, what would you have been doing differently?’
‘I . . .’ Stevie faltered. ‘I don’t know. I take her to therapy. I’m here when she wakes up and when she goes to sleep and when she gets home from school.’
‘That’s exactly it. You’re here. That’s what she needs.’ And what he hadn’t been allowed to be for his own child, he thought bitterly.
Focus. This is not about Sienna. This is about Cordelia and Stevie.
Stevie was nodding thoughtfully. ‘She also needs to understand that I made all those changes for myself as much as I did for her. I like what I’m doing. I like where I’m living.’ She leaned up on her toes and kissed him. ‘I get to wake up next to you. And when I finish each day, I know that I’ve built our business a little more. I’m helping build our lives. Here, together.’ She kissed him again, longer this time. ‘And after the day is done, I get to go to bed with you, and you make me so very happy. Inside and out,’ she added in a sultry purr.
He smiled against her lips. ‘So tell her that. Just not the part about going to bed.’
She laughed. ‘I figured that out by myself.’ She rocked back on her heels, standing in the circle of his arms, her expression sobering. ‘I’m the one who should be sorry, Clay. You got the most awesome surprise imaginable tonight with Sienna popping up, but I spoiled it for you, making it all about me.’
‘It’s okay, Stevie.’
‘No, it’s not. I’ll apologize to Sienna first thing tomorrow. I’ll call her “Taylor” and I’ll be really nice. I promise.’
‘You’re going with me to breakfast?’
‘Unless you don’t want us to. Cordelia and I haven’t gone riding in two weeks and we’re overdue. We can go over to Maggie’s with you in the truck, I can apologize, then Cordy and I can make ourselves scarce.’
He smiled down at her. His wife was nothing if not transparent. ‘And then later you can watch Sienna giving lessons to the kids in the program, just to be sure she’s on the level?’
Stevie wrinkled her nose at him. ‘Smartass.’
He tapped her nose. ‘But right?’
‘Yeah,’ she said grudgingly. ‘Daphne says Sienna is legit, so I think that’s true. But I don’t just want to think it. I need to know. I need to be doubly, triply sure that she is on the level, because I take care of what’s mine. And you’re mine.’
His shoulders relaxed. At least this part of his life seemed to be back under control. ‘And glad to be. Go tuck Cordy in, and then come back and take care of me some more.’
Eleven
Hunt Valley, Maryland,
Saturday 22 August, 8.30 P.M.
Taylor psyched herself up for the worst and opened the front door, then stepped out onto the porch. Daphne and Maggie sat on the swing, sipping glasses of wine. Daphne was pushing the swing idly, but brought it to a halt when she saw Taylor standing there.
‘Hi,’ Taylor said quietly.
Daphne’s smile was warm. ‘Hi yourself, sugar. Come, sit with us.’ She pointed to a wicker rocker next to the swing, then leaned in to peer at Taylor’s face once she’d sat down. ‘Damn,’ she whispered, her twang lengthening the single syllable to four. ‘You’re right, Maggie. I cannot believe I missed it.’
Taylor had no idea what to say, so she twisted her hands together in her lap.
‘You were looking at her résumé,’ Maggie remarked. ‘Not her face.’
Daphne’s eyes – so like Ford’s – narrowed slightly. ‘Is your résumé real, Taylor?’
‘Yes, ma’am. I really did graduate from college this past June and my degree really is in psychology.’
‘And your desire to do equine therapy with kids who’ve suffered emotional trauma?’
Taylor flinched, realizing she’d tightened her grip on her hands to the point of pain. ‘Well, that wasn’t my first plan,’ she said nervously. ‘But now that I’m here . . . It’s a good place. Healing Hearts with Horses, I mean. Now that I’ve seen it in action, I can see myself working with kids. More so than my first plan, actually.’
One side of Daphne’s mouth lifted. ‘What was your first plan?’
‘To go to law school and become a family lawyer,’ Taylor admitted. ‘Because of my mother. She always told me that before she met my dad, she’d tried to get restraining orders to force Clay to stay away, but that she couldn’t get anyone to listen to her. Nobody would help her because she had no money and the Legal Aid office was too swamped to give her any attention. My dad offered to help her get a restraining order before we went into hiding, but then she said that she didn’t want Clay to know where we were living, and Dad agreed to protect us. I know now that none of that is true,’ she said in a rush because Daphne’s mouth had opened indignantly.
Daphne’s expression settled, becoming sympathetic. ‘But back then you believed her. And why wouldn’t you? Nobody expects to be lied to by the people who are supposed to love them.’
‘It’s still hard not to feel stupid,’ Taylor murmured. ‘Especially now that I ha
ve to face you all. And explain. Again.’
‘Maggie’s already relayed your explanation,’ Daphne said. ‘I guess the big question is how you slipped through our background check. We can’t have that happening. These kids depend on the security and safety we promise them.’
‘Is Agent Carter very upset with me?’ Taylor asked tentatively, then blinked when Daphne abruptly grinned.
‘He’s bracing himself for the ribbing of a lifetime at Holly’s wedding on Monday, because everyone will be there and will know he messed up. But mostly he wants to know how you did it.’
Taylor hesitated. ‘My dad can’t get into trouble. He was trying to protect me.’
Maggie and Daphne shared a long glance, Maggie giving Daphne a hard nod before they both looked back at Taylor. ‘This will be off the record,’ Daphne said softly.
It was Taylor’s turn to narrow her eyes. ‘Why? You’re a prosecutor. You’re married to a federal agent. Why would you allow me to speak off the record?’
Daphne’s gaze didn’t falter. ‘Because I was once a terrified little girl who looked over her shoulder all the time, expecting the monster to appear. I was abducted when I was a little younger than Cordelia is now. It was . . . horrific. All these years later, I still have trouble speaking about it. But I survived, physically and emotionally, mostly because I had my mom and Maggie in my corner. They loved me and made me feel as safe as they possibly could. Your mother lied to you. Made you fear your biological father when she should have made you feel safe. That was her job, and she failed you. But at least you had your stepfather in your corner. Whatever he did, he made you feel safe, and somehow you grew into an adult with enough courage and compassion to search for the truth. To try to right your mother’s wrong.’ She shrugged. ‘So whatever he did is off the record.’
God, Taylor wanted to believe her. ‘But what happens when Agent Carter finds out?’
Daphne’s smile returned. ‘I’ll tell him just what he needs to know to make the program’s vetting system safer. He and I have already discussed this. We’re not out to punish your stepfather, Taylor. It seems like he was as much a victim as you and Clay.’
Holding her breath, Taylor stared hard at the two women, then decided to trust them. And prayed she wouldn’t come to regret it. ‘When my dad relocated us from Oakland to Reedsville – this was after Clay hired the PI to find me – he got new identities for me and my mother. Dad was a defense attorney in Oakland. He had . . . contacts.’
‘He bought your identities off the black market,’ Daphne said in a no-nonsense way.
‘Basically, yes. My mother’s wasn’t as ironclad as mine because she wasn’t going to work outside the home, and because she and Dad had legally divorced, she wasn’t listed on his taxes. But he wanted my identity to be rock-solid so that I could do anything I chose with my life. He didn’t want me to be cut off from applying to college or for a job once I grew up.’ She sighed. ‘I didn’t know about any of this until I was eighteen and had to use my social security number for the first time. I knew my mother had always worried hers would pop up fake, and I nagged my dad until he told me why he was so sure mine wouldn’t. I didn’t steal anyone else’s identity, although back then I was so scared, I might have. If it had come down to it.’
‘We’re not judging,’ Daphne said. ‘I have to admit to being intrigued, though.’
‘My dad had a housekeeper named Clara who had a daughter my age. Has, I mean. Both Clara and her daughter are alive and well back in Oakland. Anyway, Clara had known Dad since they were kids – her mother was his mother’s housekeeper. They were family. No one wanted to see me taken away by Clay, so the family had a brainstorming meeting. What they did was actually Clara’s idea. My mother and I had lived with my dad for a while by this point and Clara loved me like she loved all the girls in the house – Julie and Carrie and Daisy, Dad’s biological daughters, as well as her own daughter, Nicole.
‘Up until then I went by Sienna Smith.’
Daphne’s lips turned up. ‘Original.’
Her boss’s smile helped ease a little more of Taylor’s strain. ‘Smith was my Aunt Laura’s last name by marriage. My mother legally changed our last names when Aunt Laura took her in. Anyway, Dad had my name changed to Taylor Williamson, the “abandoned child” of one of his former clients, an addict who’d all but dropped “Taylor” on his doorstep. The addict client was fabricated, of course. Because I’d been supposedly abandoned without any documents, the state had to issue me a new social security number. Dad petitioned to adopt Taylor Williamson and he had friends in the courts, so it happened quickly – no fuss, no muss. My mother wasn’t on the adoption app because they’d legally divorced by then, so even if Clay had found her, there would be no tie to me. Dad wanted all my paperwork to be completely legal, with no loopholes anywhere. That meant complying with home visits from social workers and jumping through all the hoops adoptive parents are required to jump through. Whenever the social workers visited, Clara’s daughter Nicole pretended to be Taylor. That way any photographs or physical descriptions in my file weren’t of me.’
‘They were of Nicole,’ Daphne said with a nod. ‘So if Clay ever investigated Frederick Dawson and saw that an adoption had happened, your face wouldn’t be in any of the records.’
‘Exactly. When the adoption was finalized, Clara and Nicole moved into a nice apartment and we moved to the ranch.’
‘And neither of them spilled the secret?’ Maggie asked, incredulous.
‘No. They’re family. Plus my father made sure they were well cared for. Clara works in a fashion boutique and Nicole’s in med school, on a scholarship from Dad’s old law firm.’
‘So Mr Dawson paid for her education,’ Daphne murmured.
‘Essentially, but it wasn’t as payment for helping with the adoption. He’d set up Nicole’s college fund long before he ever met my mother and me. Nicole and I were best friends.’ Taylor drew a deep breath. ‘I hated leaving her behind. We all hated leaving our lives behind, but we thought that if Clay found me, he’d snatch me off the street and they’d never see me again. So one night we piled into the car and drove away. None of us kids got to say goodbye to our friends. It was especially hard on my oldest stepsister.’
‘The one who OD’d,’ Daphne said wearily. ‘Maggie told me about her.’
Maggie’s brows were still furrowed in a slight frown. ‘I don’t understand why your stepfather didn’t just buy you a fake ID and tell people you were his daughter, without going through the whole adoption process.’
‘Because of my youngest stepsister, Julie. She’s cognitively challenged and sometimes blurts out things we’d prefer she kept to herself. She might have told someone that I hadn’t always lived with them, or that I had a different mom. The adoption took care of that. And then I had an airtight, background-check-proof identity.’
Daphne glanced at Maggie. ‘It’s not a bad MO,’ she said thoughtfully.
Maggie gave her a stern look. ‘Please tell me you’re not planning to go into the fake ID business. Promise me. Hand on the Bible, girl.’
Daphne grinned at her. ‘Never say never.’
Suddenly Maggie looked worried. ‘No. Just . . . no. We’re not going to risk the therapy program doing illegal stuff like that. Please, Daphne.’
Daphne chuckled. ‘Relax. I’m kidding. Mostly.’ Before Maggie could say another word, Daphne turned back to Taylor. ‘So you became Taylor, but your mother kept Sienna Smith’s identity alive. When Clay visited your mother’s aunt’s house, the neighbors confirmed they’d seen you from time to time. He was able to find the record of your GED diploma. How? And why? Was it just to torment him?’
‘How is easier than why. “Sienna” is on record as being homeschooled in Oakland, where she and her mother lived with her mother’s aunt. I was actually homeschooled on our ranch. My mother kept two sets of
records to prove I’d completed the work, because she didn’t want it to look like Sienna just disappeared. If that happened, someone might come looking, or if Clay checked, he’d dig deeper to find out what had happened to me. Mom took me back to Aunt Laura’s house every so often so that the neighbors would see me. I took the GED test as both Sienna and Taylor so that I could actually attend college as Taylor. As for the why, it was to keep Clay looking for Sienna, because as long as he believed that she existed, he wouldn’t dig any deeper.’
‘And Taylor would slide under the radar,’ Daphne finished. ‘As much as I’ve hated watching Clay chase his tail all these years, I have to admit it was a smart move. But I still don’t understand why your mother held on to such a vendetta for so long. She couldn’t have hated Clay that much, could she?’
Taylor shrugged. ‘To tell you the truth, I don’t understand my mother at all after what I’ve learned. I guess that she’d dug herself in too deep with my grandparents to come clean. She told me on her deathbed that she didn’t want to upset them because both of them had heart conditions. By the time they died, she’d already met my dad and she didn’t want him to know she was a liar. It kept getting worse and worse. Looking back, I think she may have actually thrived on the drama.’
Taylor could hear the venom in her own voice and clenched her teeth to keep herself from saying any more about her mother. ‘But I suppose that’s all water under the bridge now. I can only move forward and fix what I can. What will you tell Agent Carter?’
‘That he doesn’t need to worry about his background check process,’ Daphne said. ‘There was no way he would have picked up on your double identity and I don’t think we’ll have many interns come through the program who’re in your situation.’
Taylor hesitated. ‘Did I damage the program in any way? I didn’t mean to. I didn’t think about there being any consequences to the program if I snuck in. I was so focused on minimizing the risk to myself that I didn’t even consider the kids. I was selfish and I’m sorry.’