V. LOVE.
When I came to myself, I neither knew what had happened nor where I was.I felt very weak; the room was strange, there was Saveliitch standingbefore me, a light in his hand, and some one arranging the bandages thatbound my chest and shoulder. Gradually I recalled my duel, and easilydivined that I had been wounded. The door at this instant moaned gentlyon its hinges.
"Well, how is he?" whispered a voice that made me start.
"Still in the same state," sighed Saveliitch, "now unconscious fourdays." I wanted to turn on my bed, but I had not the strength. "Wheream I?" said I, with effort, "who is here?" Marie approached, and bendingover me said, gently, "How do you feel?"
"Thank God, I am well. Is that Marie? tell me--?" I could not finish.Saveliitch uttered a cry of joy, his delight showing plainly in hisface. "He recovers! he recovers! Thanks to thee, O God! Peter, how youfrightened me!--four days! It is easy to talk--!"
Marie interrupted him: "Do not, Saveliitch, speak too much to him; he isstill very weak." She went out, shutting the door noiselessly. I must bein the Commandant's house, or Marie could not come to see me. I wishedto question Saveliitch, but the old man shook his head and put hisfingers in his ears. I closed my eyes from ill-humor--and fell asleep.
Upon awaking, I called Saveliitch; instead of him, I saw before meMarie, whose gentle voice greeted me. I seized her hand and bathed itwith my tears. Marie did not withdraw it, and suddenly I felt upon mycheek the impression, humid and delicious, of her lips! A thrill shotthrough my whole being.
"Dear, good Marie, be my wife, and make me the happiest of men!"
"In the name of heaven be calm," she said, withdrawing her hand, "yourwound may reopen; for my sake be careful."
She left the room. I was in a daze. I felt life returning. "She will bemine!" I kept repeating, "she loves me!" I grew better, hour by hour.The barber of the regiment dressed my wounds, for there was no otherphysician in the fortress, and thank God, he did not merely play thedoctor. Youth and nature completed the cure.
The Commandant's whole family surrounded me with care. Marie scarcelyever left me. I need not say that I took the first favorable moment tocontinue my interrupted declaration. This time Marie listened with morepatience. She frankly acknowledged her affection for me. And addedthat her parents would be happy in her happiness; "but," she continued,"think well of it? Will there be no objection on the part of yourfamily?"
I did not doubt my mother's tenderness, but knowing my father'scharacter, I foresaw that my love would not be received by himfavorably, and that in all probability he would treat it as one of myyouthful follies. This I avowed plainly to Marie, but nevertheless Iresolved to write to my father as eloquently as possible, and ask hisblessing on our marriage. I showed the letter to Marie, who thoughtit so touching and convincing that she did not doubt of success, andabandoned herself, with all the confidence of youth and love, to thefeelings of her heart.
I made peace with Alexis in the first days of my convalescence. IvanMironoff said, reproaching me for the duel: "You see, Peter, I oughtto put you under arrest, but indeed you have been well punished withoutthat. Alexis is, by my orders, under guard in the barn, and his sword isunder lock and key in Basilia's keeping."
I was too happy to harbor spite, so I entreated for Alexis, and the kindCommandant, with his wife's permission, consented to set him at liberty.Alexis came at once to see me. He expressed regret for all that hadhappened, confessing that the fault was all his, and begged me toforget the past. Being naturally incapable of revenge, I pardoned him,forgiving both our quarrel and my wound. In his calumny I now saw theirritation of wounded vanity and despised love. I generously forgave myunfortunate rival. As soon as completely cured I returned to my lodging.I awaited impatiently the reply to my letter, not daring to hope, yettrying to stifle all sad presentiments. I had not yet had an explanationwith Basilia and her husband, but my suit could not surprise them.Neither Marie nor I had concealed our feelings, and we were sure inadvance of their consent.
At last, one pleasant day Saveliitch came to my room, letter in hand.The address was written in my father's hand. This sight prepared me forsomething grave, for usually my mother wrote me, and he only added a fewlines at the end. Long I hesitated to break the seal. I read again andagain the solemn superscription:
"To my Son, Peter Grineff, Principality of Orenbourg, Fortress of Belogorsk."
I tried to discover by my father's writing his mood of mind when hewrote that letter. At last I broke that seal. I saw from the first linesthat our hopes were crushed! Here is the letter:
"MY SON PETER: We received the 15th of this month the letter in whichyou ask our paternal benediction and consent to your marriage withMironoff's daughter. Not only have I no intention of giving either myconsent or benediction, but I have a great mind to go to you and punishyou for your childish follies, notwithstanding your officer's rank,because you have proved that you are not worthy to bear the sword whichwas given you for the defense of your country, and not for the purposeof fighting a duel with a fool of your own stamp. I shall writeinstantly to Andrew Karlovitch to transfer you from the fortress ofBelogorsk to some still more distant place. Upon hearing of your woundyour mother was taken ill, and is still confined to her bed. What willbecome of you? I pray God to reform you, but can scarcely hope for somuch from his goodness. Your father, A.G."
The harsh expressions which my father had not spared, wounded me sorely;the contempt with which he treated Marie seemed to me as unjust as itwas undignified. Then the mere idea of being sent from this fortressalarmed me; but above all, I grieved for my mother's illness. Saveliitchcame in for a share of my indignation, not doubting but that he informedmy parents of the duel. After having paced up and down my littlechamber, I stopped suddenly before the old man and said: "It seems thatit is not enough that you caused my wound, and brought me almost to thebrink of the grave, but that you want to kill my mother too!"
Saveliitch was as motionless as if lightning had struck him. "Have mercyon me! my lord," said he, "what do you deign to tell me? I caused yourwound? God sees that I was running to put my breast before you, toreceive the sword of Alexis. This cursed age of mine hindered me. Butwhat have I done to your mother?"
"What have you done? Who charged you to write an accusation against me?Were you taken into my service to play the spy on me?"
"I write an accusation?" replied the old man, quite broken down, "O God!King of heaven! Here, read what the master writes me, and you shall seeif I denounced thee." At the same time he drew from his pocket a letterwhich he gave me, and I read what follows:
"Shame upon you, you old dog, that notwithstanding my strict ordersyou wrote me nothing regarding my son, leaving to strangers the duty oftelling me of his follies. Is it thus you do your duty and fulfill yourmaster's will? I shall send you to keep the pigs, for having concealedthe truth, and for your condescension to the young man. Upon receipt ofthis letter inform me immediately of the state of his health, which is,I hear, improving, and tell me precisely the place of his wound, andwhether he has well attended."
Evidently Saveliitch was not in the wrong, and I had offended him by mysuspicions and reproaches. I asked him to forgive me, but the old manwas inconsolable. "See to what I have lived!" he repeated; "see whatthanks I have merited from my masters for all my long services! I am anold dog! I am a swine-herd, and more than all that, I caused your wound.No, no, Peter, I am not in fault, it is the cursed Frenchman who taughtthee to play with these steel blades, and to stamp and dance, as if bythrusting and dancing you could defend yourself from a bad man."
Now, then, who had taken the pains to accuse me to my father? TheGeneral, Andrew Karlovitch? He did not trouble himself much about me;moreover, Ivan Mironoff had not thought it worth while to report my duelto him. My suspicions fell on Alexis. He only would find some advantagein this information, the consequence of which might be my dismissal fromthe fortress and s
eparation from the Commandant's family. I went to tellevery thing to Marie. She met me on the doorstep.
"What has happened to you? how pale you are!"
"All's over," I replied, handing her my father's letter.
It was her turn to blanch. Having read the letter she returned it, andsaid in a trembling voice: "It was not my destiny. Your parents do notwish me in their family; may the will of God be done! He knows betterthan we what is best for us. There is nothing to be done in the matter,Peter; you, at least, may be happy."
"It shall not be so," I exclaimed, taking her hand. "You love me, I amready for any fate. Let us go and throw ourselves at your parents' feet.They are simple people; they are neither haughty nor cruel; they willgive us their benediction; we will marry; and in time, I am sure, wewill soften my father. My mother will intercede for us, and he willpardon me."
"No, Peter, I will not marry you without the benediction of yourparents. You would not be happy without their blessing. Let us submit tothe will of God. If you meet another bride, if you love her, may God bewith you! I, Peter, I will pray for both of you." Tears interrupted her,and she went away; I wished to follow her into the house, but I wasnot master of myself, and I went to my own quarters. I was plunged inmelancholy, when Saveliitch came to interrupt my reflections.
"There, my lord," said he, presenting me a sheet of paper all coveredwith writing, "see if I am a spy on my master, and if I try to embroilfather and son."
I took the paper from his hand; it was his reply to my father's letter.
I could not help smiling at the old man's letter. I was in no conditionto write to my father, and to calm my mother his letter seemedsufficient.
From that day, Marie scarcely spoke to me, and even tried to avoid me.The Commandant's house became insupportable, and I accustomed myself,little by little, to remain alone in my room. At first Basilia reasonedwith me, but seeing my persistency she let me alone. I saw Ivan Mironoffonly when the service required it. I had but rare interviews withAlexis, for whom my antipathy increased, because I thought I discoveredin him a secret enmity which confirmed my suspicions. Life became aburden; I gave myself up to a melancholy which was fed by solitude andinaction. Love burned on in silence and tortured me, more and more.I lost all taste for reading and literature; I let myself becomecompletely depressed; and I feared that I should either become a lunaticor rush into dissipation, when events occurred that had great influenceon my life and give a strong and healthy tone to my mind.