V.
It was raining slightly, but he dared not return to the house for hisumbrella. In the haze and wet of the shivering October night, the clockof Bleakridge Church glowed like a fiery disk suspended in the sky; and,mysteriously hanging there, without visible means of support, it seemedto him somehow to symbolise the enigma of the universe and intensify hisinward gloom. Never before had he had such feelings to such a degree.It is scarcely an exaggeration to say that never before had the enigmaof the universe occurred to him. The side gates clicked as he stoodhesitant under the shelter of the wall, and a figure emerged from hisdomain. It was Bellfield, the new chauffeur, going across to his homein the little square in front of the church. Bellfield touched his capwith an eager and willing hand, as new chauffeurs will.
"Want the car, sir? Setting in for a wet night!"
"No, thanks."
It was a lie. He did want the car. He wanted the car so that he mightride right away into a new and more interesting world, or at any rateinto Hanbridge, centre of the pleasures, the wickedness, and thecommerce of the Five Towns. But he dared not have the car. He darednot have his own car. He must slip off, noiseless and unassuming. Evento go to Dr. Stirling's he dared not have the car. Besides, he couldhave walked down the hill to Dr. Stirling's in three minutes. Not thathe had the least intention of going to Dr. Stirling's. No! His wifeimagined that he was going; but she was mistaken. Within an hour, whenDr. Stirling had failed to arrive, she would doubtless telephone, andget her Dr. Stirling. Not, however, with Edward Henry's assistance!
He reviewed his conduct throughout the evening. In what particular hadit been sinful? In no particular. True, the accident to the boy was amisfortune, but had he not borne that misfortune lightly, minimised it,and endeavoured to teach others to bear it lightly? His blithe humourought surely to have been an example to Nellie! And as for the episodeof the funeral march on the "Pianisto," really, really, the tiresomelittle thing ought to have better appreciated his whimsical drollery!
But Nellie was altered; he was altered; everything was altered. Heremembered the ecstasy of their excursion to Switzerland. He rememberedthe rapture with which, on their honeymoon, he had clasped a new opalbracelet on her exciting arm. He could not possibly have such sensationsnow. What was the meaning of life? Was life worth living? The factwas, he was growing old. Useless to pretend to himself that it was notso. Both he and she were growing old. Only, she seemed to be placidlycontent, and he was not content. And more and more the domesticatmosphere and the atmosphere of the district fretted and even annoyedhim. To-night's affair was not unique, but it was a culmination. Hegazed pessimistically north and south along the slimy expanse ofTrafalgar Road, which sank northwards in the direction of Dr.Stirling's, and southwards in the direction of joyous Hanbridge. Heloathed and despised Trafalgar Road. What was the use of making threehundred and forty-one pounds by a shrewd speculation? None. He couldnot employ three hundred and forty-one pounds to increase his happiness.Money had become futile for him. Astounding thought! He desired no moreof it. He had a considerable income from investments, and also at leastfour thousand a year from the Five Towns Universal Thrift Club, thatwonderful but unpretentious organisation which now embraced every cornerof the Five Towns; that gorgeous invention for profitably taking care ofthe pennies of the working classes; that excellent device, his own, forselling the working classes every kind of goods at credit prices afterhaving received part of the money in advance!
"I want a change!" he said to himself, and threw away his cigar.
After all, the bitterest thought in his heart was perhaps that on thatevening he had tried to be a "card," and, for the first time in hisbrilliant career as a "card," had failed. He, Henry Machin, who hadbeen the youngest mayor of Bursley years and years ago; he, therecognised amuser of the Five Towns; he, one of the greatest"characters" that the Five Towns had ever produced--he had failed of aneffect!
He slipped out on to the pavement, and saw, under the gas-lamp, on thenew hoarding of the football-ground, a poster intimating that duringthat particular week there was a gigantic attraction at the Empire MusicHall at Hanbridge. According to the posters, there was a giganticattraction every week at the Empire, but Edward Henry happened to knowthat this week the attraction was indeed somewhat out of the common.And to-night was Friday, the fashionable night for the bloods and themodishness of the Five Towns. He looked at the church clock, and thenat his watch. He would be in time for the "second house," which startedat nine o'clock. At the same moment an electric tram-car camethundering up out of Bursley. He boarded it, and was saluted by theconductor. Remaining on the platform, he lit a cigarette, and tried tofeel cheerful; but he could not conquer his depression.
"Yes," he thought, "what I want is change--and a lot of it too!"