“You’re an accountant, I believe. You must be very valuable to Gardeaux … and to Kabler.”
Nigel froze. “I don’t know either of those names.”
“I’m sure Gardeaux knows Kabler’s name. Suppose I called him and told him that you’re Kabler’s informant.”
Nigel closed his eyes. It wasn’t fair. Everything had been going so well for him, and now this bloody bastard appeared and sent everything crashing.
“You look a little sick,” Tanek remarked. “Shall I open the window?”
“You can’t prove it.”
“I won’t have to prove it. Gardeaux won’t take the chance, will he?”
No, Gardeaux would just smile and shrug and the next morning Nigel would be dead.
Nigel opened his eyes. “What do you want?”
“Information. I want reports regularly and accurately. I want to see everything first and then I’ll decide what you can sell to Kabler.”
“Do you think I’m the only accountant Gardeaux has? He’d never trust everything to one man. We’re given bits and pieces of the records of the money that goes out, and most of that is in code.”
“The list of names for the Medas hit wasn’t in code.”
“The action to be taken was.”
“What was the reason for the hit?”
“I sent Kabler all I knew.”
“Then find out more. I want to know everything about it.”
“I can’t probe. It wouldn’t be safe.”
“Do you know, Nigel”—Tanek smiled at him—“I really don’t care.”
“It looks … strange.” Nell shook her head, and the pale gold streaks shimmered beneath the soft lights of the salon.
“It looks wonderful,” Tania said firmly. “And the cut suits you. Casual but sophisticated.” She turned to the hairdresser. “Magnificent, Bette.”
Bette grinned. “It was a pleasure to put a little frosting on the cake. Now you need a new wardrobe to go with the new look.”
“I agree,” Tania said. “I’ll take her to the city tomorrow.” She frowned. “No, Joel might not like it. I’ll wait until next week.”
“That’s not necessary,” Nell said. “I can notify my housekeeper in Paris to ship over some clothes.”
“You can do that too, but Bette is right. You need new clothes for the new woman.”
New woman. Tania’s phrase resonated in Nell’s mind. In a way, she had perished the night Jill and Richard died, and had been born again in the agony of learning of Jill’s murder. But the woman was not complete; she was hollow inside. Perhaps not entirely hollow, she realized suddenly. She had felt warmth, amusement, even envy in the past few days since Tania had appeared.
“Am I pushing too hard?” Tania asked. “It’s a habit of mine. Not necessarily a bad habit. Just annoying.”
“You’re not annoying.” Nell turned to Bette. “How much do I owe you?”
Bette shook her head. “I’m hired by the clinic. No fee, no tip.”
“Then thank you.” She smiled. “You’re very talented.”
“I did my best, but, as I said, it was only icing. With that face, you’d even look good bald.”
“So, will you let me take you shopping in town?” Tania asked as they left the salon.
Nell had been thinking about it. It might be a very good idea for her to go into the city. “If Joel will let me.”
“Good. I’ll tell Joel we’ll be charging everything to Nicholas and that will make him more likely to let us take a little day trip.”
“Why? Doesn’t Joel like him?”
“Yes, but their relationship is complicated. Joel is a very competitive man.”
Nell looked at her blankly.
“Nicholas is …” Tania shrugged. “Nicholas.”
“But Joel is a brilliant surgeon.”
“And Nicholas is larger than life. There are some men who tend to cast a long shadow. Joel doesn’t like to stand in anyone’s shadow.” She grinned. “So he takes out his irritation in the way that is most pleasing to him. He was very disappointed when you said you wanted to pay his fee yourself.”
Nell hadn’t wanted to stand in Tanek’s shadow either. “The debt was mine.”
Tania’s gaze was fastened on her face. “You resent him.”
She did resent him. She resented his ability to pierce through the barriers she had erected and the cruelty of the way he had jerked her back to life. She resented the fact that every time she saw him, she remembered Medas. She resented the fact that he wanted to close her out when he could help her. “I know he’s your friend, but he’s not my cup of tea. I prefer your Joel.” She changed the subject. “Does this clinic have facilities other than a beauty salon?”
“Everything from a spa to a five-star restaurant. Some of Joel’s patients choose to stay until they’re entirely healed and require all the amenities. What did you have in mind?”
“A gymnasium.”
“Yes, but I doubt if Joel will let you do much exercising for a while. He’ll want to make sure the bones have healed.”
“I’ll do what I can. I have to get stronger.”
“You will. It’s only a question of time.”
But she didn’t want to wait. It was maddening to be this weak and ineffectual. She wanted to be ready now. She repeated, “I’ll do what I can.”
“We will see what is possible.”
“Tomorrow?”
Tania raised an eyebrow. “I’ll talk to Joel. Maybe if I go with you and make sure you don’t hurt yourself.”
“But that will interfere with your job. I don’t want to impose on you. You’ve done too much already.”
“It’s no imposition. I’ll enjoy it. I need to work out myself, and being Joel’s housekeeper doesn’t require a good deal of time.” She chuckled. “Besides, he’ll be pleased that it keeps me off the phone.”
Nell gazed at her doubtfully.
“Truly,” Tania said. “You’ll need workout clothes. You can borrow some of mine until we go shopping.”
Nell shook her head. Tania could not be more than a size eight. “They wouldn’t fit.”
“Well, they may be a little big, but that’s no problem. Workout clothes should be loose.”
Nell looked at her in bewilderment.
“Unless you object to wearing someone else’s clothes?”
“No, of course not but I—”
“Good.” They had come to Nell’s door, and Tania said to Phil, “I brought her back safe and sound. How do you like her hair?”
Phil whistled admiringly. “Nice.”
Tania turned to Nell. “I’ll be here at nine tomorrow and help you dress.” Tania smiled and waved before walking down the hall.
“I’ll help you back to bed,” Phil said. “You must be tired.”
She was exhausted, she realized in frustration. “Thanks, but I have to learn to do for myself. I can’t rely—”
Phil had scooped her up with ease and was carrying her toward the bed. “Sure you can. You don’t weigh more than a feather. That’s what I get paid for.” He tucked her into bed. “Now take a nap and I’ll bring you your lunch.”
They may be a little big.
You don’t weigh more than a feather.
She slowly lifted her arm, and the sleeve of her bed jacket fell away. She stared at her arm for a moment and then opened the bed jacket and pressed the loose cotton gown against her. She must have lost twenty-five pounds in the past month.
Instant diet, she thought bitterly. Fall from a balcony, lose your whole world, and you’ll be svelte as a greyhound. All those years she had labored to lose those extra pounds and now, when it mattered so little, they were gone.
But perhaps it did matter. She would gain strength more quickly without those excess pounds holding her back.
Vanity wasn’t important, but strength was everything.
Five
“I’m not sure I like this,” Joel said in an undertone to Tania as he watched Nell and Ph
il come toward them down the hall. “And I know Nicholas wouldn’t.”
“We’ll be back by three,” Tania said. “And Phil is driving us to the city and from store to store. What could happen on a half-day shopping trip?”
“Tell that to Nicholas.”
“I will,” Tania said. “Trust me. This will be good for her.”
“I don’t think shopping for clothes is high on her list of priorities.”
“No, but it’s a simple, normal function. Doing normal things is important for her.”
“Like exercising?”
Tania frowned. “There’s nothing normal about the way she exercises. It’s as if she’s driven. She’d be in that gymnasium twenty-four hours a day if you’d let her.”
“It’s not hurting her.” He paused. “You don’t have to baby-sit her, you know. She’s not your responsibility.”
“I like her. I want to help her.” She added slowly, “I suppose I see myself in her.”
“One of you is quite enough.” He turned to Nell, who was now beside them. “Don’t overdo it. When you get tired, give it up and come back.”
“We will.”
He thrust a roll of bills at her. “Here. I didn’t know how much cash you had on hand.”
Nell looked at him in bewilderment. “I don’t need this. I don’t have my credit cards here, but I’m sure I can call and make some arrangement.”
“It will be easier if Tania charges everything to the clinic and we bill you later.” He opened the back door of the car. “And remember, this Lincoln turns into a pumpkin at three.”
“This is Dayton’s department store. We’ll be able to get most of the basics here. We’ll go to boutiques for the specialty items.” As she got out of the car, Tania said to Phil, “Will you give us three hours and meet us here at one?”
Phil frowned uneasily. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. Suppose I park the car and meet you inside?”
“Okay,” Tania said. “Come to sportswear. We’ll go there first.”
Nell followed Tania into the department store and was immediately enveloped in mellow lighting and glittering commercialism. “We don’t have to go anywhere else. All I need are the basics, Tania.”
“Need and want are two different things.” She stepped on the escalator. “You may not want to see yourself in—Where are you going?”
“I have something to do. I’ll meet you out front at one.” Nell glanced back as she moved quickly toward the side entrance. Tania was halfway up the escalator but turned and started down. “The hell you will.”
Nell reached the side door and jumped into a cab parked at the taxi stand. “Public library. Central branch.”
Tania ran out the door as the taxi sped away from the curb. “Nell!”
Nell felt a twinge of remorse. Tania had been kind, and she hated deceiving her. But she was also Tanek’s friend, and Nell couldn’t risk her interfering.
Ten minutes later she walked brusquely into the reference room of the library and up to the woman at the desk. “I understand you have Nexis?”
The woman glanced at her. “Yes.”
“I’ve never used the program. I wonder if I could have someone help me find some information?”
The librarian shook her head. “We supply the program for our patrons, but we’ve no time to give lessons.” She added, “And there’s a charge for each subject you research.”
Nell glanced at the woman’s name tag. Grace Selkirk. “I’ll be glad to pay for the service as well, Ms. Selkirk.”
“I’m sorry, we have no time to—”
“I’ll help you.”
Nell turned to see a tall, lanky young man smiling at her.
“I’m Ralph Dandridge. I work here.”
She smiled. “Nell Calder.”
The librarian said, “You know the rules, Ralph.”
“Rules are meant to be broken.” Ralph turned to Nell. “If you’re not computer literate, the program is a little confusing. I’ll guide you through it.”
“You’ve no time for this, Ralph,” Grace Selkirk said. “I’ve something else for you to do.”
“Then I’ll do it after lunch,” Ralph Dandridge said.
“And I’m taking my lunch hour right now.” He gestured for Nell to precede him. “The computers are over in the next bay.”
“I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“No big deal. This is only a part-time job. I go to college at night. Besides, Grace is usually pretty cool. She just likes things by the book.”
“Well, I appreciate you helping me.” She smiled. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come along.”
He stared at her in bemusement a moment before tearing his eyes away. “Well, let’s see how much I can do for you. Nexis is basically an information system. It keeps a record of thousands of newspapers, magazines, and periodicals. All you have to do is type in the subject and it will bring up every reference to it during the past ten years.”
“But can I access a name?”
“Sure. But you may have to weed through a bunch of similar names. Whom are you looking for?”
“Paul Maritz.”
He accessed two stories about a Paul Maritz and pulled them up on the screen for her to scan. One of them concerned a screenwriter who had won an award, the other Maritz was a fireman who had rescued a child. Definitely not her Maritz.
She hadn’t really expected there to be any references about Maritz, but it had been worth a shot.
“Anything else?”
“Philippe Gardeaux.” The name was unusual and she doubted if she’d run into the same trouble. Which didn’t mean that she would have any more luck. But according to Tanek, he was a criminal on the grand scale. Surely there would be references to arrests, trials … something.
Jackpot. After trying two other spellings, three references to Philippe Gardeaux. One in Time magazine. One in Sports Illustrated. One in The New York Times.
“They look pretty long. Do you want to scan them?” Ralph asked.
“No. Can we print them all out?”
“Sure.” Ralph highlighted the references, hit the rint button, and leaned back in his chair. “Are you going to write an article on him?”
“What?”
“We get a lot of writers doing research.”
“It’s a possibility.” She eagerly watched the paper scroll out of the printer.
He picked up the bundle of sheets and handed them to her.
“How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing. I’ll take it off my fringe-benefit time. My pleasure.”
She couldn’t let him do that; she knew what a struggle it was for most college students to just survive. “I can’t accept—” But she couldn’t hurt his pride by refusing either. Dammit, she wanted to read those articles now. She sighed. “Well, do you at least have time to run to a nearby restaurant and let me buy you lunch?”
His eyes lit up behind the tortoiseshell-rimmed glasses. “You bet I do.”
She stuffed the printout into her purse and stood up. “Let’s go, I don’t want you to incur your boss’s wrath by coming back late. Is there someplace nearby?”
“Yes.” He hesitated. “But do you mind going to the Hungry Peasant? It’s only a few blocks farther.”
“Is the food better?”
“No, but a lot of my friends hang out there.” He grinned. “I’d like them to see me with you.”
He wanted to show her off as if she were some kind of trophy, she realized with distaste. The face Joel had given her had probably influenced this nice kid to help her, but it had also triggered this response. A mixed blessing.
But Ralph was looking at her wistfully, and she owed him. She said resignedly, “We’ll go to the Hungry Peasant.”
Nell arrived back at Dayton’s at five minutes to one.
Tania was waiting outside the store.
Nell instinctively tensed when she saw her expression. “Tania, I’m sorry it was necessary f
or me to—”
“Don’t say a word,” Tania cut her off. “I’m so angry, I want to push you out in front of a car.” She stepped forward to the curb and waved. “There’s Phil. We’ll talk when we get back to the clinic.”
Phil gave her a reproachful glance as they got into the car. “You shouldn’t have done that, Nell.”
“Let’s get back to the clinic, Phil,” Tania said curtly, her expression cold.
And Tania was never cold, Nell thought. She would probably never want to see Nell again after today.
She had not expected to feel this sense of loss.
Back at Woodsdale, Tania strode into Nell’s room and pulled back the sheet on the bed before turning to Phil. “I’m parched. Could you get us some lemonade? I’ll see that Nell lies down to rest.”
Phil nodded. “Sure.”
As soon as the door closed behind him, Tania whirled on Nell. “You will never lie to me again.”
“I didn’t lie to you.”
“You deceived me. It’s the same thing.”
“I suppose you’re right. I had something to do and I was afraid you’d disapprove.”
“You’re damn right I disapprove. Joel didn’t want to let you leave the clinic and I persuaded him. You used me.”
“Yes.”
“Why? What was so important that you had to lie?”
“I needed information. Tanek wouldn’t give it to me. I went to the library.”
“And you couldn’t tell me?”
“You’re Tanek’s friend.”
“That doesn’t mean he owns me. Didn’t it occur to you that I was your friend too?”
Nell’s eyes widened. “No,” she whispered.
“Well, it should have. I first came to see you because Nicholas asked me, but from then on it was my decision.” Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “I knew why Nicholas wanted me to come. He thought you needed me. We both had losses and he wanted me to show you how well I’d healed. Well, I’m not healed. I’ll never heal, but I’ve learned to deal with it. You will too.”
“I’m dealing with it.”
“No, Nicholas held out a carrot and you’re going after it. It’s a substitute for the real thing. When you don’t dream anymore, then you’ll know you’ve dealt with it.” She smiled crookedly when she saw Nell’s startled expression. “Do you think you’re the only one who’s ever had nightmares? The first year after my mother and brother died, I dreamed every night. I still do occasionally.” She paused. “But I don’t talk about it.”