CHAPTER SIXTEEN.
LOW SPIRITS.
"Drink o' water, sir? Yus, sir--there you are."
Gedge gently raised Bracy's head and, all the time on the watch, hit himdrink with avidity: but lowered his burden quickly the next instant, forwith a sudden jerk the remainder of the water in the brass cup presentedwas jerked over his face, and the lotah went flying with a bell-likering.
"I was on the lookout for that, sir," said Gedge good-humouredly, "butyou was too quick for me. I say, sir, don't you say you ain't gettingbetter no more."
"Better, Gedge?" said Bracy pitifully. "I am horribly worse."
"Not you, sir, when you can play games like that."
"Oh, my lad--my lad, I could not help it!" Gedge grinned as he lookedat him, and shook his head.
"You don't believe me," said Bracy sadly. "Well, you see, sir, I can'tvery well after that. I couldn't quite take it in when the Doctor toldme what you'd done to him, and how you'd served the Major."
"What did he say?" asked Bracy eagerly.
"Said you'd broke out, sir, and was playing all kinds o' games; and thatyou had been cheating him and everybody else."
"Anything else?"
"Yus, sir; that it was a reg'lar case o' malingering, on'y I don't thinkhe quite meant it. He was cross because he said you kicked him. Didyou, sir?"
"Yes--no--my leg jerked out at him, suddenly, Gedge."
"Same thing, sir. Said you'd knocked the Major's eyeglass off and brokeit. Did you do that, sir?"
"My arm jerked out and came in contact with his glass, Gedge."
"Same thing, sir, on'y we call it hitting out."
Bracy made a weary gesture with his head, and then, in despairing tones,asked for more water.
"All right, sir; but no larks this time."
"What?"
"Don't get chucking it in my face, sir, unless it does you a lot o'good. If it do I won't mind, for I should like to see you full o' funagain."
"Fun!" groaned Bracy. "Give me the water. It is no fun, but a horrorthat is upon me, my lad."
"Sorry to hear that, sir," said Gedge, filling the brass cup again froma tall metal bottle. "Still, it do seem rather comic. What makes youdo it, sir?"
"I can't help it, my lad," groaned Bracy, who once more drank thirstilyand emptied the cup; Gedge, who had been watching him sharply, ready tododge the water if it were thrown, managing to get it away this timewithout receiving a drop.
"Now you'll be better, sir."
"Thank you, my lad. I wish I could think so."
"Well, do think so, sir. You ought to, for you must be an awful dealstronger."
"No, no; I am weaker than ever."
"Are yer, sir?"
"Yes, my lad. I was a little like this the other day."
"Yus, sir, I know."
"And it has been getting worst; and worse."
"Better and better, sir. It's a sign the nat'ral larkiness in yer'scoming back."
"No, no, my lad. The Doctor noticed it when my arm twitched, and toldme it was involuntary action of the nerves, caused by the injury fromthe bullet."
"Well, sir, he ought to know: and I dare say it's all right. But I say,sir--I don't, mind, and I won't say a word--you did it o' purpose."
"No, Gedge; indeed no."
"But really, sir, do you mean to tell me that when your arm was laidacrost your chest you couldn't get it away?"
"Yes, of course I do."
"And that you hit out and kick at people like that without being able tohelp it?"
"Yes; it is quite true, my lad, and it is horrible."
"Well, I dunno about being horrible, sir. Things like that can't last,no more than a fellow being off his head and talking all kinds o' stufffor a bit."
"You can't grasp it, Gedge," sighed Bracy.
"No, sir; wish I could."
"What!"
"Only wish you had my shot in the back, and I'd got yours."
"You don't know what you're talking about, my lad."
"Oh, don't I, sir? I just do. Voluntary action, don't you call it? Ijust seem to see myself lying in yonder with old Gee coming to see me,and with a leg and a arm ready to go off as yours seem to do. My word,the times I've felt like giving old Gee one, but dursen't, because it'sstriking your sooperior officer. Just think of it, sir; knocking himright over all innercent like, and not being able to help it. Why, I'dgive anything to have your complaint."
"Nonsense, nonsense! You are talking folly."
"Can't help that, sir. It'd be worth months o' pain to see old Gee'sface, and to hear him asking yer what yer meant by that."
"No, no; it's horrible--and it means, I'm afraid, becoming a hopelesscripple."
"There, you're getting down in the mouth again. Don't you get thinkingthat. But even if you did, we'd make the best of it."
"The best of it, man!" groaned Bracy.
"O' course, sir. You could get me my discharge, I dessay, and I'd comeand carry yer or push yer in one o' them pramblater things as gents setsin and steers themselves. Then yer could ride o' horseback, or I coulddrive yer in a shay; and then there's boats as you could be rowed aboutin or have sails. It don't matter much about being a 'opeless cripple,so long as you're a gentleman and don't have to work for your living.Then, as to them two spring limbs, I could soon get used to them, sir,and learn to dodge 'em; and if I was too late sometimes, it wouldn'tmatter. All be in the day's work, sir. So don't you be down."
Bracy was silent for a few minutes; and seeing that he wished to think,Gedge moved silently about the room, sponging up the water, that hadbeen spilled, taking down Bracy's sword and giving it a polish,rearranging his clothes upon a stool, and whistling softly, though hewas in a good deal of pain, till he began chuckling to himself, andBracy turned his head.
"What are you laughing at?" he said.
"Only thinking about old Gee, sir. He 'listed just at the same time asme, sir; and then, all along of his bumptiousness and liking to bullyeverybody, while I was always easy-going and friends with every one, hegets first his corp'ral's stripes, and then his sergeant's, and beginsto play Jack-in-office, till his uniform's always ready to crack at theseams. Just fancy, sir, being able to give him a floorer withouthelping it. Ho, my!"
Gedge had to wipe his eyes with the backs of his hands, so full of mirthseemed the thought of discomfiting the tyrant who had hectored over himso long; and Bracy lay looking at him till he calmed down again.
"You don't believe in all this being involuntary, Gedge?" he said atlast.
"Didn't at first, sir. I thought it was your larks, or else you wereoff your head. But I believe it all now, every bit, and I can't getover it. Just to be able to hit your sooperior officer, and nocourt-martial. Then the Doctor. Just to be able to make him feel abit, after what he has made us squirm over."
"Then you do believe me now?"
"Of course, sir. And I tell yer it's grand to have a complaint likethat. I mean for such as me. No punishment-drill, no lines, no prison,no nothing at all, for bowling your sooperior officer over like askittle."
Bracy turned his head wearily.
"Ah, Gedge, you can't realise what it all means, to be a hopelesscripple, always in pain."
"Wuth it, sir, every twinge; and as to being a hopeless cripple, what'sthat so long as there's plenty o' crutches to be had? Pst! Some uncoming, sir."
Gedge was right, for directly after the Doctor entered the room, signedto Gedge to go, and then detained him.
"How has Mr Bracy been?" he said sharply.
"Bit low-sperrited, sir."
"Yes; but has he exhibited any of those peculiar phenomena?"
Gedge passed his hand over his chin and stared.
"Bah! Has he kicked at you, or struck you, or done anything of thatkind?"
"No, sir; not a bit."
"That's right. Well, Bracy, you quite startled me, my lad; I was takenby surprise, and I looked at it from the commonplace point of view.I've had
time to think of it now from the scientific side. Tell me, canyou control yourself when those fits come on? I mean, this involuntarynerve and muscular action!"
"Do you think that I should let it go on if I could, Doctor?" said Bracysadly.
"No, of course not, my dear fellow. Pardon me for asking you."
"Tell me, then: can you cure it? Can you stop these terriblecontractions?"
"Yes, with Nature's help, my dear boy."
"Ha!" sighed Bracy: "then may it come. But why is it? I never heard ofsuch a thing before."
"Naturally; and I never encountered such a case. It is all due to theirritation of the spinal nerves, and until we can get rid of the causewe cannot arrive at the cure."
"But, Doctor--"
"Patience, my dear boy--patience."
"Can you give me some?" said Bracy sadly.
"I hope so, for I am going to appeal to your manliness, your strength ofmind. You must try to bear your sufferings, and I will help you bymeans of sedatives."
"Thanks, Doctor. If you could only get me to be strong enough to act insome way."
"Go out with the men and help them to shoot a few of the enemy--eh!"
"Yes," cried Bracy eagerly. "It would keep me from thinking so, andwearing myself out with dread of my helpless future."
"Well, listen to reason," said the Doctor cheerily. "Your helplessfuture, in which you see yourself a miserable cripple, old before yourtime, and utterly useless--"
"Yes, yes," cried Bracy eagerly; "it is all that which keeps me back."
"Of course; and what is all that but a kind of waking ill-dream, whichyou invent and build up for yourself? Come, you must own that."
"Yes," said Bracy, with a sigh; "but I am very bad, Doctor."
"Were."
"I am still; but I will and can fight harder--"
"No, no; not as you did this morning," said the Doctor, smiling.
"I say, I can fight harder if you tell me that I may recover from theseterrible fits."
"I tell you, then, that you may and will. There, you've talked enough.Shake hands, and I'll go."
He held out his hand, but there was no response, for Bracy's right armlay motionless by his side, and a look of misery crossed the poorfellow's face.
"Never mind," said the Doctor quietly; and he took Bracy's hand in his,when the fingers contracted over his in a tremendous pressure, which hehad hard work to hear without wincing. But he stood smiling down at hispatient till the contraction of the muscles ceased, and Bracy did notknow till afterwards the pain that his grip had caused.