She knew I was right. If there was anyone who I thought would be good for her, I’d be all over it. I wanted her to be happy. I also had a tendency to think that no one was good enough for her. It would take a special kind of man to keep up with Sloane and I hadn’t met him yet.
“I suppose,” she said and I put my arms around her. She let me hug her but didn’t hug me back.
“Okay, okay, get out of here. Oh, but put on what I laid out for you.” I dashed to my bedroom and saw another awesome lingerie set. This time it was green, with a snap on lace panel that was like the first bow outfit I’d worn. Lucah was getting very good at getting me out of them by now. I put the lingerie on under a cute shirt and jeans. It didn’t seem to matter what I had on over the lingerie. Although, I was going to make sure to have my eyes locked on his face when he saw me in the dress Sloane was making. I knew it would be worth it.
“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” I said before I left.
“No, get out of here, you crazy kid.”
Yup. Best friend ever.
“I am going to have to abandon you to have Girl Time this weekend with Sloane. Oh, I also have to take her out to dinner tomorrow night and I think I should actually spend the night at my own apartment. You know, because I live there.” I made sure I said it after sex.
“I don’t own you, Rory. You don’t have to ask my permission to do anything. Well, I would be a little upset if you had sex with another guy. Just a little.”
Oh, but he did own me.
“I know, but I just wanted to make sure. And I’m not having sex with anyone else. Just you. I wouldn’t have the strength. You’re always wearing me out.” Ain’t that the truth.
“Good. Because if you were, I’d probably find the guy and pummel him into yesterday.”
“Caveman.” I’d pay to see that. There’s something kind of erotic about seeing two men beat each other up. Why is UFC so popular? Sloane loved to watch two hot sweaty guys go at each other and I had to admit that I enjoyed it too.
And then something occurred to me. “You’re not having sex with anyone else, are you?”
“No, Sunshine. I would rather wake up with you than go to bed with anyone else.” He kissed my nose and I couldn’t help but smile. I loved it when he said things like that. It made me feel all warm and fluttery inside. Like I was going to bust.
“You’re sweet,” I said, twirling his hair around my finger. I loved watching the colors change in the light. Sometimes when we were out in the sun his head looked like it was on fire. In a sexy way, of course.
“You’re sexy,” he said, running his hand over my hip and hitching it over his leg.
“You’re sweet and sexy.” He flipped me so I was straddling him and brought my face down for a kiss.
“You’re everything.” Yup. My happy was about ready to explode. Gross.
“You’re full of shit,” I said.
“Liar,” he said and I kissed him again because I was totally lying.
“I hope you know I plan on buying the most expensive mixed drink on the menu. And the most expensive entrée,” Sloane said the next night when we were at dinner.
“Go nuts, girlfriend.” This night was going to put me in debt, but oh well. Gotta make sacrifices for friends.
Sloane moved her foot up my leg under the table.
“So what are my chances of getting lucky on this date?” She put her elbow on the table and leaned in, lowering her voice and pretending to be seductive. I leaned in and played along.
“If you play your cards right.”
“Ooh, baby.” The waitress chose that moment to appear and she cleared her throat. Ha, she probably thought we were on a date. Well, I didn’t care and I knew Sloane didn’t. It would be kind of fun to keep up the charade.
“You want to order first, babe?” I said to Sloane, hoping she’d play along.
“Thanks, darling. I will have the escargot to start, and then I will have the surf and turf as well as the seafood stew, and I will also have the most expensive mixed drink you’ve got. I don’t care what it is. She said she was going to spoil me, right baby?” she cooed.
“Only the best for my girl,” I said, blowing her a kiss. I ordered shrimp cocktail, salad, and mussels with lemon garlic sauce in linguine, plus my gin and tonic. I knew there was no way Sloane could eat all that food, and was definitely going to be bringing it home and eating it for the next few days, all on me. She knew how to work the system.
The waitress came back with our drinks, and Sloane took a sip of hers without asking what the hell it was. I waited for the verdict and she made a face as she swallowed.
“How is it?” I asked and she pushed it across the table at me.
“I think I just drank gasoline mixed with nail polish remover.” I took one whiff of the thing and decided to pass.
“I’m good, thanks. But you’d better drink that entire thing. I’m not paying for you to throw away good alcohol.” She glared at me and took her drink back.
“I will drink it.”
“Yeah, you will,” I said, smirking at her. She’d made her bed so she was gonna lie in it. Or drink it, in this case.
Our food came and Sloane looked at the snails as if they were going to bite her.
“Hey, you ordered them,” I said when the waitress left.
“I know, because they were expensive and I figured they were fancy. Rich people eat snails.”
“Um, my parents have never eaten snails. Or, at least not voluntarily.”
“Your parents don’t count,” she said, picking up the device used to hold the snails as you forked the meat out.
“My parents don’t count as rich people?” This was news to me.
“Yeah, but they’re normal people. They don’t act like rich people.” I wasn’t even going to step into that minefield to figure out what the hell she was talking about. I just ate my shrimp and shook my head.
Every time the waitress came back, we pretended that we were on a date.
“God, if we keep this up much more I’m gonna wind up having my way with you in the cab on the way back,” Sloane said as we ordered dessert. She went with the tiramisu and I got the same. The waitress brought the bill and I didn’t even look at it as I handed her my card and then signed my name when she came back. The gratuity was already in there, so I wouldn’t see it until I checked my online statement tomorrow. And at that point, I would avoid it.
“Just remember to use protection. I can’t afford to get knocked up at this juncture in my career,” I said, downing my third drink. Yeah, I was a little tipsy. Sloane had finished her drink and there was apparently a high alcohol content in it, because she was pretty far gone.
“Are you implying that I have a penis?”
“A really big one. Jumbo-sized. A porn star penis.” I knew my voice was loud and the topic of conversation was completely inappropriate for this type of restaurant, but I didn’t care at this point.
“You know it,” she said with an exaggerated wink.
We finished our desserts and stumbled toward a cab, Sloane dropped her doggie bag along the way and abandoned it on the sidewalk. Some homeless man was going to have a very lucky night.
We both fell onto the couch when we got home.
“That was nice,” Sloane slurred.
“You’re not a cheap date, Sloane Harris.”
“You spread that around.” We ended up changing into pajamas and spending the rest of the night sobering up on the couch with lots of water and microwave macaroni and cheese.
“See? This is just as much fun as going out. Actually, it’s more fun because you can wear what you want and you don’t have to be humiliated if you fart or something.” I moved away from Sloane on the couch. We’d lived with each other long enough that we’d seen it all, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be close to her if she let one rip.
“So are you going to move in with Lucah?”
“I can’t. What would I tell Dad? What if he wanted to come v
isit? It would never work. It’s just too risky.”
“That sucks.”
“Tell me about it.” I scraped the bottom of the bowl for the last remnants of melted cheese product. It might not be real, but that stuff was damn tasty.
“You think I’m ever going to find someone?” I did a double take. Sloane almost never wanted to talk about stuff like this. Must be the alcohol.
“Of course. There’s someone for everyone.”
“That’s just what happy couples say to single people to make them feel better. Not everyone finds their one true love, and what if only some people actually fit together? Like, what if some people are meant to go together, like puzzle pieces, but the factory screws up a few and they don’t have a match? What if I’m a bad puzzle piece?”
“You’re not a bad puzzle piece, Sloane.” I moved closer to her and made her look at me. “You are smart and you’re sexy and you’re funny and you’re so freaking talented and anyone who ever meets you adores you. I know this is all the stuff a friend is supposed to say, but it’s seriously true. I wouldn’t bullshit you.”
“Not to my face.”
“Yes, to your face. You know I would.” She finally relented.
“Where is he? I’m just worried that I’m going to be old and look back on my life and there wasn’t anyone to share it with. I want to share my life with someone.” I smacked her in the shoulder.
“Um, what about me? You’re sharing your life with me right now. Yes, it may not be in a romantic way, but you need all kinds of love in your life, not just that. I love you and so do Chloe and Marisol and everyone at your studio loves you, for the most part, and my parents even love you. Your life isn’t devoid of love, and you’re not alone, okay?”
“When the hell did you get all good-advice giving?” I had no idea. Normally I sucked at advice.
“I have no idea.”
“Must be love. Makes you smarter and more insightful.”
“Um, I think it does the opposite. Love makes you an idiot. So I didn’t tell you that Mrs. Andrews knows about me and Lucah.” I proceeded to inform her about the boardroom sex and then the getting caught. I’d been so stressed about it until I’d talked to Mrs. Andrews that I hadn’t even wanted to bring it up at all.
“You are such an office slut! Remind me not to touch any surfaces if I ever visit you.” That earned an eye roll from me.
“We haven’t had sex everywhere, Sloane. I’m not that bad.”
It was her turn for an eye roll.
“Yes, you are, and I love you anyway. Maybe your love karma will rub off on me.” And then I had a fantastic idea.
“Be my date.”
“Um, we kind of just did that.”
“No, be my date for the Black and White Ball. Then you can look over all the guys from my office and decide if you want to take a chance on any of them. They’ll all be there, and you can make yourself a great dress and then my parents will get off my back about inviting a guy.”
She stroked her chin like she had a goatee and narrowed her eyes as if she was thinking about it very seriously.
“Interesting. Very interesting.” I waited and she dragged it out before diving at me and shoving me back into the arm of the couch.
“Ow!”
“Of course I want to go! Oh my God, yes!” She screamed in my ear and I was immediately second guessing this once brilliant idea. This was going to be . . . Jesus, what did I get myself into?
“This is going to be awesome. I’ve been dying to go to this thing and I’ve been hiding my jealousy for years.” This was news to me. Guess she was good at hiding jealousy.
“Well good. I’m sure my parents will hide their disappointment that you’re not a man and will be thrilled to see you.”
“I could pretend I was a man. Wear a suit and put my hair back and all, and I could stick Mr. Buzzy in my pants.” I was now regretting I’d ever told her that my vibrator had a name.
“Yeah, that would go over real well.” She finally got off me and ran to her workroom, then came back with a sketch that she shoved in my face.
“What do you think?” Clearly, she had designed this dress for herself. It was long and had a gorgeous cutout in the back and a cutout in the front that was made more modest by sheer fabric underneath.
“I thought I could do it in black and white, maybe with black flowers or something.”
“It’s gorgeous, Sloane, and it will be gorgeous on you.” Because that bitch was tall. I could never in the history of ever get away with something like that. It would cling to all the wrong places and would be way too long anyway. Such was life as a short girl.
“You’re gonna be the hottest girl there.”
“Damn right I am, baby.” She dashed back to her room and got started on making a pattern. When I finally went to bed, her light was still on.
I didn’t get a chance to tell Lucah about my girls’ night until I was at his place the next night. I was dreading Monday, so I was hoping the weekend would last as long as possible. Work had been insanity as I was preparing for a presentation that Dad had handed off to me because he was going to be traveling and didn’t trust anyone else to do it. Or at least that was what he’d told me. I had no idea what he told the other people he could have given it to. They were probably pissed, but I didn’t care. I’d stopped caring if other people got upset about stuff like that a long time ago.
“So you know how I said I wasn’t with anyone else? Well, I think you might have to fight Sloane for me now. She’s going to be my date for the Black and White Ball.” I watched his face as I told him and he smiled. I didn’t think he would actually be jealous.
“Then I’ll have to save her a dance too. Speaking of the Ball, I’m not sure if I should bring someone or not. You know that I don’t want to bring anyone but you, but maybe I should bring someone just to keep up appearances.” I knew this wasn’t some kind of underhanded way to date another girl. Too bad he couldn’t bring a guy friend without making himself look gay. Or maybe he didn’t care.
“You could bring your brother.”
“If you don’t mind someone filching people’s wallets, or getting really drunk and crashing through a window. Or getting caught having sex with the help in the kitchen. Or doing karaoke even though there isn’t karaoke happening.”
Wow.
“Yeah, Ryder has done all of the above. Never all of those things at the same party, but he would probably take that as a challenge. Plus, it would be a little odd. Do you know any girls who wouldn’t mind going with me and wouldn’t get any romantic ideas?”
Actually, I did.
“I can ask Chloe if she wouldn’t mind. No worries about romantic ideas at all. Plus it would be more fun to have as many friends there as possible. Maybe we can escape and have a party within a party. As long as we don’t do anything illegal or at least don’t get caught, we should be able to have a good time.”
“As long as I get to dance with you, I’ll be happy. You still haven’t told me about your dress.”
I shook my head slowly. “It’s bad luck to tell you about the dress before the ball.”
“Sunshine, I’m pretty sure that’s just for weddings.”
“Oh, I think it should also apply to balls. Also, because I want to savor your facial expression when you see me sweep down the staircase in it.” I got up from the couch and practiced sweeping down the stairs and did a little curtsy.
“Will there be stairs to sweep down?”
“Yes, there are. They remind me of stairs from Gone With The Wind.”
He got up and bowed. “So am I Rhett Butler or Ashley Wilkes?”
“Oh you’re Rhett. Definitely Rhett. What kind of a question is that?” Ugh, Ashley Wilkes was the worst. Plus, I knew it was an old fashioned name for a guy, but still. I couldn’t be attracted to a guy named Ashley.
“Just making sure,” he said before he took my hands and twirled me around. “Rhett was the better dancer. And he didn’t emotionally cheat
on his wife.”
“Ashley kissed Scarlet, remember? So he actually cheated on her. Douchebag. He reminds me a little of my ex.” He also had a stupid name.
“That’s right. I haven’t watched that movie in a long time. I’d forgotten.” He moved his hands around my waist and we started slow dancing instead.
He finally hummed a tune I recognized.
“Is that the song by the Rembrandts that was the intro to Friends?” I couldn’t be sure because he’d slowed it down a bit.
“Maybe.” But he said it with a smile so I knew I was right.
“Well if you invite Chloe, then that means Marisol is left out and that’s not right.”
“I could invite her, too. Have a lovely lady on each arm.”
“Like a pimp.”
“You said it, not me.”
We danced for a little bit more.
“It’s not a bad idea,” I said. “Bringing the three of them. It would be a lot more fun. And I know they’re not going to turn it down. Do you want me to ask, or do you want to do the honors?”
“I’ll handle it,” he said and kissed me.
“You’re awesome.”
“I know.”
I got two all caps text messages the next day, one each from Marisol and Chloe. Apparently, Lucah had sent beautiful flower arrangements to each of them with a note asking them to the ball.
They were both ecstatic, even Chloe who claimed she’d never been on a date with a man, but was willing to make an exception. Sloane texted me and she was less enthused because they each wanted dresses and that was going to be hard to finish in time, with the event only a little more than two weeks away. Sloane thrived on pressure, but she bitched about it every step of the way. I had no doubt in my mind that she’d finish. I’d just have to hear her whine and complain the entire time, but I guess that was part of the fun of living with her.
I texted Lucah and told him, and he grinned over his desk at me and sent a message back.
What can I say? The ladies love me. I sighed loud enough for him to hear and texted him back.