Surely, this was just some terrible nightmare she was having, and she would wake up tomorrow, and things would be normal again. It just couldn’t be true.
LIFE CONTINUES
PULASKI, WISCONSIN
1928
IN THE YEARS FOLLOWING WORLD WAR I, THE SLEEPY BUCOLIC WORLD of rural America was beginning to change, and a man named Henry Ford was to blame. When he invented the first Model T automobile, he put America on wheels, and as more roads were built and cars were improved, people who had never traveled farther than the outskirts of their own towns started traveling by the thousands. Roads couldn’t be built fast enough, and suddenly, family motor trips were all the rage. Americans were of pioneer stock and naturally adventurous and soon began driving all over the country. And if they could have built roads across the ocean, they would have driven all the way to Europe and on down to South America.
New businesses started popping up all over the country: auto courts, tourist camps, hotels, motels, and restaurants to accommodate the traveler along the way.
In 1920, there were 15,000 gas stations in the entire country, but by 1933, the number had jumped to 170,000.
It was clear the automobile was the future, and what better business to get in than owning a gas station? Gas companies were selling franchises left and right. And Stanislaw Jurdabralinski had the perfect spot for a filling station, on the empty lot right beside his house. So using their savings and another loan from the bank, and after finishing a two-week course in service station management, Stanislaw received his Phillips 66 uniform, complete with hat and black leather bow tie, and soon, a brand-new twenty-four-hour full-service filling station opened in Pulaski.
Stanislaw was so proud to have a family business at last, but when they were naming the station, he thought Jurdabralinski’s Phillips 66 was too long, so he just named it Wink’s Phillips 66, after his son, who would inherit it someday.
The first night the station opened, when the pump topper with the big, round, illuminated glass globe lit up, the entire family stayed up for hours and watched it glow in the dark. Poppa, who would now be sleeping on a cot in the back of the station, flicked the neon OPEN ALL NIGHT light in the front window on and off for them to say good night.
From then on, their lives revolved around the filling station on the side of the house. The cheerful ding of cars and trucks coming into the station day and night meant that Poppa was busy, and that was good. Wink and the girls grew up playing with hubcaps, air hoses, old spark plugs, and rubber tires, and the smell of gasoline. It seemed like fun to them. By the time Fritzi was eleven and Wink was nine, they already knew how to change a tire and pump gas and make change at the cash register. Soon the Jurdabralinskis were simply known as the Gas Station Family. Every town had one … or soon would.
IN 1936, AFTER THE Depression had hit the country, it had been devastating, but the Jurdabralinskis did better than most, with milk and cheese from the nearby farms and eggs from the chickens that Momma kept in the backyard. And thanks to Wink, who had grown into a big, strong guy, who loved to hunt and fish, there was always food on the table.
Stanislaw had worked out a contract with the county to supply all the official vehicles—fire trucks, police cars, snowplows, and all the school buses—with gas and repair service, so when many stations across the country had been forced to close, Wink’s Phillips 66 managed to stay open.
In the summer of 1937, life at the Jurdabralinski house was anything but depressed. Momma played in the Thursday night Ladies Accordion Band of Pulaski, and they practiced in the living room four nights a week. The younger girls were all in the school accordion band, so they played along as well, and on most afternoons, the boys and girls from the high school would gather upstairs in the huge third-floor attic with the big record player on a table in the corner and dance and play Ping-Pong.
Fritzi and her sisters were of an age when boys were always either hanging around the station or sitting on the front porch of the big two-story brick house next door.
Even Wink, who worked at the station with his father after school, had female admirers who would pile into their cars and drive over to watch and giggle as he walked around and did a full service on their cars, washing the windows, checking the oil, water, antifreeze, and battery, and filling up the tires. They usually had only enough money for a fourteen-cent gallon of gas, sometimes just a half gallon. One local girl, Angie Broukowski, who was younger than Wink, borrowed her father’s car, and she and her friends seemed to come in more than usual, even when she didn’t have money for gas. Poppa said Old Man Broukowski’s tires had been checked more than any other car’s in the state of Wisconsin.
But at the Jurdabralinski house, Fritzi was the main attraction for both the boys and girls. She had just graduated from high school, and in her senior year, she had been voted most popular, best dancer, most athletic, biggest cutup, and most likely to succeed. Fritzi was definitely the personality kid of Pulaski High. Poppa was proud of her, but Momma worried that if Fritzi didn’t slow down for five minutes, she was never going to get a husband. If she wasn’t swimming, she was bowling or skating all night at the Rainbow Skating Rink or running up and down the roads to see how fast some car would go or running to the movies, and if she wasn’t doing that, she was busy smoking cigarettes. Momma found a half-full pack of Chesterfields hidden in her top drawer. And as usual, when he was told what his daughter was up to, Poppa just shrugged. “She’s a modern girl, Momma. They all smoke.” Momma hoped that in the fall, when Fritzi went to work at the pickle factory, she would settle down with one of the local boys, so she wouldn’t have to worry about her so much. Momma had already said a novena and prayed to Saint Jude about it.
NOW WHAT?
POINT CLEAR, ALABAMA
THURSDAY, JUNE 9, 2005
THE NEXT MORNING, EARLE BROUGHT SOOKIE BREAKFAST IN BED AND sat down beside her and said, “Honey, do you want me to cancel my appointments and stay home with you today? I will. I just don’t think you should be alone.”
“No, I want you to go to work. I need to think this out and decide what I’m going to do.”
“Okay, whatever you want … but call me and let me know how you’re doing.”
After Earle left, Sookie did fall asleep for an hour, but when she woke up, she was still so devastated, she couldn’t get up. She called Netta and told her she had the flu and asked her if she would feed the birds. She lay in bed and cried all morning. She knew she had to talk to someone else about this—someone she could trust not to tell Lenore—so she rolled over and called her old college roommate, Dena Nordstrom, in Missouri. Dena picked up right away.
“Dena, it’s Sookie.”
“Sookie! Hello—”
“Thank God you’re home. Oh, Dena, something terrible has just happened.”
“Oh, no, has something happened to Earle?”
“No.”
“The children?”
“No.”
“Your mother?”
“No … it’s me!”
“Oh, honey, what’s wrong? Are you sick?”
“No,” she sobbed. “I’m Polish!”
“What?”
“Oh, it’s a long story … but … oh, Dena … this man from Texas called and said I wasn’t who I thought I was and at the time, I thought I knew who I was. But yesterday, I got a letter and found out that I was adopted—that Lenore is not my real mother and Daddy is not my real daddy either. And not only that … I’m a year older than I thought I was. I’m not even a Leo. All my life, I’ve been reading the wrong horoscope.”
“Wait a minute … are you sure about this?”
“Yes, I’m sure. October is Libra.”
“No … no … about being adopted?”
“Yes, it’s all written down. I have it right in front of me. It says that on July 31, 1945, Mr. and Mrs. Alton Krackenberry adopted a baby girl named Ginger … Jurdbberlnske or something or other Polish. Anyhow … that’s me. Or who I was supposed to
be. Anyway, my real mother was born in Wisconsin, and I’m probably a Catholic to boot. You know how quick they are to baptize.”
“Oh, wow … oh … what does Lenore say about it?”
“I haven’t told her.”
“Oh … well, have you said anything to the kids, yet?”
“No, you’re the first person, besides Earle, that knows, and I knew you, being married to a psychiatrist, would understand. I just feel so confused and betrayed. Lenore knew I wasn’t her real daughter, and she went ahead and pushed me into all these things … and all under false pretenses. She always made me feel so bad because I wasn’t just like her. And I wasn’t just like her, because I wasn’t just like her! And now, thanks to her, I’ve been a card-carrying member of the Daughters of the Confederacy since I was sixteen, and I’m not even a Southerner. I’m a Yankee. And, Dena … here’s the worst part,” she sobbed. “I’m not even a Kappa.”
“What do you mean? Of course, you’re a Kappa.”
“No, I’m not. I’m a fraud. I can’t go to the Kappa reunion. I’ll just have to resign. The only reason I got in was because I was a legacy through Lenore. I’ll have to turn in my pin and everything.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, Sookie, you’re a Kappa because everyone loved you. I went through rush with you, remember?”
But Sookie wasn’t listening and continued to ramble on. “Oh, my God. I even made my debut at the Selma Country Club under false pretenses. I told Lenore I didn’t want to be a debutante, and she went ahead and let me make a fool of myself. What will people think when they find out I’m not a Krackenberry or a Simmons—that I’m an illegitimate Yankee Polish orphan?”
“Wait a minute. What makes you think you are illegitimate?”
“Because … it’s written on my birth certificate: father unknown.”
“Oh … well, Sookie, people don’t really care about that kind of thing, anymore.”
“Well, I do. I’ll feel like an imposter, like some kind of social climber. Oh, I could just die of shame. I’m looking at myself in the mirror right now, and I have turned beet red with shame.”
“But why, Sookie? You didn’t do anything wrong. What are you ashamed about?”
“Because you know me, I have always prided myself on being honest and open and then to find out you are a fraud—that your entire life has been one big lie? I can never hold my head up again. I’m sure I need serious medication. I’m probably having a psychic break right now. Is Gerry at home? I might need him to send me some pills. How much are they?”
“Oh, Sookie, honey, you’re not having a psychic break. You’ve had a shock. That’s all. I’m shocked. It’s understandable that you are upset. I mean, my God … who wouldn’t be? What does Earle think?”
“Oh, he’s being very sweet about it … but I’ll tell you who is going to have a fit when she finds out: Dee Dee. She’s always running out to the cemetery to help decorate Great-Granddaddy Simmons’s grave … and then to find out the man is a total stranger. Oh, my God. And Dena, no wonder I didn’t get Lenore’s nose. I didn’t get Daddy’s nose, either. I got a total stranger’s nose. I don’t know why I thought I looked just like Daddy. I went through the photo albums last night, and I don’t look a thing like any of them. I didn’t get the Simmons foot. I got the Jaberwisnski’s foot!”
“Well, what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know. I just feel all wicky-wacky. I’m just thrown for a loop and back. I can’t even think about what to do. What can I do at this late date? I should have been told this when I was six, not sixty. All those Polish people I’m related to are probably all dead by now. And who would name their child Ginger? We had a golden retriever named Ginger. Anyhow, it’s very upsetting.”
“I know it is. And as upsetting as it is right now, you always told me you never wanted to be like your mother, and you’re really not. Isn’t that kind of good news?”
“That’s what Earle said. And I guess it is, but right now, I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. Why couldn’t I be a year younger? But no. Yesterday, I was only fifty-nine, and today, I’m already sixty, going on sixty-one! No wonder I look so old and tired. I am! I’m the world’s oldest living orphan. Oh, God, how embarrassing. I feel like walking out and jumping off the end of the pier.”
“Sookie, do you want me to come down there and be with you? I will. Just say the word.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet, but no, there’s nothing anybody can do. I’ll just have to figure this out by myself.”
“Well, all right, but in the meantime, you won’t do anything foolish, will you?”
“No, I’ve got to get Carter married and settled before I do anything foolish.”
“Sookie, this is a lot to handle by yourself. Maybe it would be a good idea to seek out a professional to help you through this.”
“Well, you’re the lucky one. You married a psychiatrist. I married a dentist.”
“Would you like me to ask Gerry to try to find someone for you?”
“No. This is not the kind of thing I would talk to a stranger about.”
“But, Sookie … that’s the point.”
“Well, I’ll think about it, but right now, I really don’t want to tell anyone but you.”
“All right, but I want you to call me and let me know what’s going on, okay?”
“I will.”
After she hung up, Dena thought about just getting on a plane and going down to Alabama, but Sookie had said she wanted to try and work it out by herself, and maybe she was right. Dena knew Lenore and had always gotten a big kick out of her, but she had also felt kind of sorry for Sookie, and finding out that she was adopted was going to be hard. Sookie had always viewed herself through Lenore’s eyes. No matter how many times Dena had tried to tell her, Sookie had never understood what a great gal she was on her own. She had been one of the funniest and best-liked girls on campus, but she had never quite believed it. Everybody seemed to love Sookie but Sookie.
AFTER SOOKIE HAD SPOKEN to Dena, she realized that Peek-a-Boo needed to be fed, so she got up out of bed and went downstairs. As she opened a can of tuna, she thought about what Dena had advised. She was probably right, but there was only one psychiatrist in Point Clear, and it was obvious that Dr. Shapiro had never practiced in a small town before. His office was right next to the Just Teazzing hair salon, and you couldn’t go in or out without everyone seeing you. She certainly couldn’t go, or it would be all over town in less than five minutes.
Even Mobile was not far enough away for that, thanks to Lenore knowing so many people. At one time or another Winged Victory had been the chairman of every committee known to man, and was a clubwoman to the bone. If they didn’t have one she liked, she started one, and she was always elected president. But as Netta said, “Lenore’s damned good at running things, so why not?” Netta was right, of course. The woman seemed to have been born with a gavel in her hand.
The rest of the day, Sookie kept catching glimpses of herself in the mirror. She knew she looked the same on the outside. She walked and talked like the same person. But she didn’t know who or what she was on the inside.
Finally, she called Earle, who came to the phone right away. “Earle, my ears are ringing. Does that mean I’m going to have a stroke? I feel like I might be having a stroke.”
“No, honey, it’s just stress.”
“Yes, but my heart is racing. I could be having some kind of attack. Should I call an ambulance?”
“No, you’re fine. Just breathe, sweetheart. Listen, my last patient cancelled, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
She sure was glad to see him when he walked in the door. Later, she managed to fix dinner, but she still felt disoriented. Earle didn’t leave her side.
When they got in bed, she tried to sleep, but she tossed and turned all night. Even Peek-a-Boo got fed up and went over to Earle’s side of the bed. But she couldn’t help it. All she could think about was that person she used to be … that woman in the m
irror.
Earle finally rolled over and said, “Honey, it’s four-twenty. Close your eyes, and get some sleep.”
“I will, but Earle, are you sure I’m not having a heart attack? I can still hear it beating. Here, can you feel it? Shouldn’t I go to the emergency room?”
Earle felt her heart and patted her hand. “No, baby, it’s just anxiety. Try to get some sleep, and you’ll feel better. I promise you.”
Earle was right. After a few minutes, her heart did slow down. Thank God she had married Earle. He had been her strength and her rock through thick and thin. But with Lenore, even that hadn’t been easy.
After she graduated from high school, her grades had not been good enough to get into a top college like Lenore had wanted, but not to be deterred, at the last minute, Lenore had pulled some strings with an old Kappa sorority friend of hers, and two weeks later, Sookie had been sent off to Southern Methodist University in Dallas with a new wardrobe and a note in her pocket.
Sookie, Dear,
If you can’t be smart, be perky. Men love a happy girl, and date, date, date! Men love a popular girl.
Love,
Mother
The minute she hit SMU, she started rush week and, thanks to her being Lenore’s legacy, had pledged Kappa right away. And, per her mother’s instructions, she joined almost everything else in sight, as well. And God knows she had dated morning, noon, and night. By her sophomore year, she had almost wrecked her health trying to be popular, and it didn’t help matters when her roommate, Dena Nordstrom, was voted the most beautiful girl on campus. All Lenore ever said after that was, “Oh, Sookie, why can’t you be more like Dena? That girl is going to make something of herself.” And as Lenore had predicted, Dena left college early and became one of the first female newscasters on television, while Sookie still struggled to make a passing grade.