His point was well-taken in a biological sense. “That’s true.” She stirred the spoon through the water and noodles again. “But not every father knows how to be a dad. Sometimes they miss out on their child’s entire life. A boy like Tom Sawyer might never have known his dad, not ever.”
Cory furrowed his forehead and studied the book again. “I think Tom Sawyer had a dad. Maybe the author didn’t write that chapter.”
“Maybe.” Megan stared at the noodles again, but this time her vision blurred. How could she adopt a boy who was so desperate for a daddy? She was still pondering the question when the phone rang. She set the spoon on the countertop and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Ms. Gunn?” Aaron Hill’s voice filled the line.
Megan’s heart skipped a beat. Why was he calling now, after three weeks of silence? “Yes?”
“I’m parked out front.” He sounded unsure of himself. “It being a Friday night and all…I wondered if you and Cory would like dinner out at Pier 39?”
She stared at the packet of powdered cheese mix on the counter. Then she caught herself. It didn’t matter how good dinner at the pier sounded. They didn’t need Aaron’s charity, and there could be no other reason why he was here. She turned her back on Cory. “Tell me why.”
“Why what?”
“Why dinner? Why now?”
He exhaled and his frustration was evident. “Can you come down here, Megan. Please.”
She hesitated, but then she felt herself giving in. He’d driven all the way out here. He deserved the chance to explain himself. “Just a minute.” She hung up the phone, turned off the stove, and stared at Cory. “Be right back, okay?”
“Where’re you going?” He’d been too lost in the book to figure out who was on the phone.
“Downstairs. I have to talk to someone.”
“Okay.” Cory didn’t look interested. He focused on the book again. “Is dinner almost ready?”
“Almost.” She slipped on her sandals, and as she hurried out the door and down the stairs, she ran her fingers through her hair. No matter how she’d reacted on the phone, it felt wonderful to hear his voice again. But what was she thinking? She reached the last few stairs and slowed her pace as she moved toward the door. She was as bad as Cory, fantasizing that Aaron Hill had changed into a gentleman, and more, that she could ever trust a guy like him with any piece of her heart.
More likely, the youth center had showed him a side of life he hadn’t acknowledged before. Now he was focusing his attentions on Cory and her as a way of making up for times when he hadn’t thought of those less fortunate than himself. In other words, he probably saw them as a charity case. She took a steadying breath. She would thank him profusely for coming and explain that they were getting along fine. They didn’t need his favors.
She opened the door and scanned the street for his Hummer. It took a few seconds to realize he was right in front of her, in the driver’s seat of a light gray pickup truck. It was newer, a full-size with rear doors and a long bed. But it had none of the sparkle of the Hummer. She wrinkled her eyebrows, curious, just as he stepped out and met her near the doorway of the apartment building.
He must’ve realized she was looking for his Hummer, because he nodded to the truck. “I traded it.”
“Really?” Megan narrowed her eyes.
“Yeah.” He kept a polite amount of distance between them. “I needed a change.” His eyes met hers and held. “In a lot of areas.”
Megan wasn’t sure what to say in response, so she crossed her arms and looked down at the cement for a few beats.
“Now.” His voice was soft. “You were saying?”
Something about his tone washed over her like a caress, and her cheeks suddenly felt hot. She was saying? She swallowed hard and tried to remember their conversation from a few minutes ago. But his nearness was unnerving, breaking down her defenses and leaving her unsure of even a single reason why she and Cory wouldn’t have dinner out on the pier with him. She lifted her eyes. “You don’t have to do this, Aaron.” It was the first time she’d used his given name, the first time she hadn’t been completely on her guard. Because there was no reason now. She wanted to be transparent before him. “I told him you’re not his father.”
Aaron slipped his hands into his jeans pockets. Pain shaded his expression. “How’d he take it?”
“He didn’t.” She laughed, but it held a hidden cry, a sound of defeat. “He told me he’ll believe forever that you’re his dad.”
Aaron hesitated and then turned halfway around, his eyes raised to the sky. After a few seconds, he looked back at her. “That’s so sad.”
“I know.” A chill hung in the air, and she crossed her arms more tightly. “That’s what I mean. You don’t owe us a night out.” She lifted one shoulder. “You’ve done enough.”
The muscles in his jaw flexed and he took a step back. He seemed to be searching for the words. Finally he came closer again, his eyes locked on hers. “Maybe this isn’t about Cory. Maybe I just want to take you out to dinner.”
“Why?” Again, she felt defeated. She uncrossed her arms, held up her hands, and let them fall to her side. “I’m not your type. You…” She looked into the air between them, as if the answers might be drifting by on the breeze. “You’re a celebrity, Aaron.” She thought about her life, her paper route and her shifts at Bob’s Diner, and she uttered a sad laugh. “We couldn’t possibly be more different.”
“Except one thing.” He reached out and touched her bare arm.
The feel of his fingers against her skin sent shockwaves through her body. A part of her couldn’t understand why she was fighting him so hard, when all she wanted to do was feel his arms around her. Her teeth chattered and she bit down to still them. “What?”
He looked deep at her, and the tenderness in his eyes was as real as the air they were breathing. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” He made a lighthearted face. “Believe me, I’ve tried. Nothing works.”
She wanted to say that she knew the feeling. Because as sensible as she was, as much as she prided herself on being intelligent and a realist, she saw his face everywhere she looked. Even when she wasn’t watching the 49ers on TV. Instead she bit her lip. “I’m not ready, Aaron. I can be your friend, that’s all.”
Nothing in his expression changed, but the hint of a smile brightened his face. He let his hand fall back to his side. “I can handle that.”
“So.” She tilted her face, studying him, trying to figure him out. “Dinner at the pier?”
He nodded, and he looked up to the windows in the apartments above them. “Better go get Cory.”
Megan giggled. She stepped back, and then turned and ran lightly through the door and up the stairs. She had questions about herself. Why was she agreeing to this night when it couldn’t possibly lead anywhere, and how could she allow Cory to live out his fantasy by spending more time with Aaron? And when did Aaron become the sincere, genuine guy she’d just talked to down on the sidewalk? She silenced the questions as soon as they hit her. She had no answers, anyway. For now, maybe it didn’t matter. She and Cory didn’t have much, after all. And if this was the last time the two of them hung out with Aaron Hill, so be it. They’d at least have this: A night they would remember the rest of their lives.
Cory could hardly believe it.
Megan came rushing into the apartment and told him to get his shoes and his sweatshirt. They were having dinner with Aaron Hill. He took a minute to catch his breath over the idea, but then he closed his Tom Sawyer book and jumped up from the table. He wanted to say, “See, Megan, I told you so. Told you Aaron is my dad. ’Cause otherwise why would he come to take us for dinner?”
But he didn’t say that. He only hurried with his shoes and his sweatshirt, and tried to make his heart stop pounding so hard. The strange thing was that Aaron hadn’t said anything about the letter yet. Megan said he talked to her about it, and that he really wasn’t Cory’s dad.
&n
bsp; Cory wasn’t so sure he really said that, ’cause why wouldn’t he just tell Cory and not Megan. Plus, if Aaron really didn’t believe Cory was his son, then that only meant it was Cory’s job to convince him. His mother hadn’t lied to him, definitely not. She would look right straight in his eyes every time she told him, “Aaron Hill’s your daddy, Cory. But it has to be our secret.”
He remembered those words coming from her as much as he remembered her saying that Aaron had been her friend in high school and how Aaron was only her friend until he asked her to some dance when they were seniors. A prom or something. Aaron Hill was his dad. That’s what she said. Megan always asked then why didn’t his mother ever tell Megan? That was a good question. Why didn’t she? That would’ve made everything much easier, ’cause then when she died, there wouldn’t be any confusion.
But his mother hadn’t expected to die. She got a cold and it went to her lungs and she died without making any plans about Cory’s father. That’s what happened. And so after Megan’s talk with him about Aaron not being his dad, Cory pulled out his special box, the one with the things from his mom. He had some letters she wrote to him, about how much she loved him and how she would always be there for him. Because that’s what she wanted, but God had other plans. That’s what Megan said.
Also in the box were the newspaper articles, the ones about Aaron. There was one from when he was doing great at UCLA his junior year, and people were talking about him being a pro one day soon. His mom went to a different college. Junior college. But still, she and Aaron were boyfriend and girlfriend. And there were a couple articles from the next year when Aaron won a lot of games and he got drafted in the first round, third pick by San Francisco. After that, she had two in the box from his first couple years as a 49er. Then she stopped cutting out stories about him.
Pictures were in the box too. Pictures of Cory when he was little and when he was learning to walk, and one of him and his mom on the first day of kindergarten. But that was all, ’cause she died after that.
But in the box there was also a big yellow envelope, and inside were three envelopes with Aaron’s name written across the front. Another one just said the word “PRIVATE.” All three were sealed tight, the way his mother had left them. A long time ago she taught him that you don’t open other people’s mail. So, even though lots of times Cory was tempted, he never opened the letters. ’Cause they belonged to Aaron.
And that sent a wave of excitement through him, because now Aaron came back! And maybe tonight, or maybe very soon, he would give Aaron the letters and then that would clear up any confusion. He tied his shoes and grabbed his sweatshirt, and then they hurried out the door.
Because it wouldn’t be nice to keep his dad waiting.
NINETEEN
Aaron felt like a schoolboy. The sense of victory over convincing Megan to spend an evening with him rivaled the feeling he had after a playoff win. They drove out to Pier 39 and parked, with Cory chattering in the back about Monday’s game.
“I never for minute thought you’d lose.” He leaned forward and gripped the corner of Aaron’s seat. “Not for a minute.”
“I did.” Aaron rolled his eyes and cast a quick look at Megan.
She put her fingers to her lips, covering a light laugh. “It didn’t look good.”
“It didn’t feel good.” He kept his tone easygoing, but only to cover up how he’d really felt that day. How he’d felt every hour since, until now. Later, if the night worked out the way he hoped, he’d have a chance to talk to Megan about the changes happening inside him. He had a feeling she’d understand.
Pier 39 was busy, but that worked in Aaron’s favor. With so many people milling along the walkways, between the shops and restaurants and street performers, the crowd would help hide his identity. He wore a baseball cap and a jacket with a high collar. Most of the time he could get away with being in public if he dressed like this.
“You’ve been before, right?” Aaron walked beside Megan, with Cory on his other side.
“Not often.” Her smile held a distance again, the caution that had marked her conversations with him since the beginning. “But yeah, once in a while.”
“I’ve never been,” Cory piped in.
They were hungry, but on the way to the restaurant, as they walked along the soft worn slats of wood, they passed the carousel. Cory slowed to a stop and watched it go round a few times. People of all ages sat atop the painted animals and benches, most of them laughing, enjoying the ride. Cory looked at Megan. “I thought merry-go-rounds were for little kids.”
“Not this one.” She put her arm around his shoulders. “See that.” She pointed at the paintings that made up the perimeter of the attraction. “Look close. There’s Coit Tower and the Golden Gate Bridge, Lombard Street and Alcatraz.” She turned her attention to Aaron. “I read somewhere that this is the only carousel in the country with paintings of its home city.”
“I didn’t know that.” Aaron had the sudden impulse to take her hand, but he resisted. She wasn’t ready, that’s what she’d said. She wanted a friend, and for now, that’s what he would be.
“Wow…” Cory took a step closer. “That’s cool!”
That was all Aaron needed to hear. He saw a ticket booth a few feet away and he motioned to Megan that he’d be right back. As crowded as the place was, the carousel had no line, probably because it was the dinner hour. He bought three tickets and returned to Megan and Cory. “Everyone should ride once.”
Cory wasn’t about to act too excited. Aaron understood that. At almost nine, he already had a sense of machismo, especially in a crowd. He was a kid who understood the streets and navigated the Mission District on his bike, like he’d told Aaron the first time they met. But there was no mistaking the thrill in his eyes as they got in line and then as they boarded. They chose a trio of painted horses, and Megan climbed on the outside one. Aaron helped Cory onto the inside horse, and he took the middle.
While the carousel made its rounds, Aaron had the strangest thought. What if this was really his life, here between this endearing child and the woman who took his breath away? They were coming to a stop when a teenage boy in the crowd pointed at him. “Aaron Hill!” He looked around and then back again. “Hey, that’s Aaron Hill!”
“Looks like we need a fast get-away.” Megan climbed off her horse first. She whispered the words to Aaron. “Got a plan?”
“Be my date.” He held his elbow out to her. Then as Cory jumped off his horse, Aaron took his hand. “Come on…let’s get out of here.”
Megan looped her hand around his bicep, and they hurried off. A little family, with no idea why some kid was yelling at them from the crowd. They slipped between a couple shops and walked out toward the water, toward a walkway that took them to the west end of the pier. The evening was beautiful, the way mid-September always was, but the weather and the fading blue sky had nothing to do with the way he felt. Megan was still holding onto his arm. Aaron released Cory’s hand and reached over to cover Megan’s fingers with his own. If he had his way, she would never let go. “Thanks.” He tried to smile at her, but he got lost in her eyes. “That doesn’t happen all that often.”
“I’m sure.” Her look said she didn’t believe him. But she didn’t mind, either. She seemed to notice that she was holding onto him longer than necessary, longer than she should. She withdrew her hand and allowed a little extra space between them. “Where are we eating?”
“Yeah.” Cory ran a few steps ahead, turned around and walked backward. The way he had a habit of doing. Before either Aaron or Megan could say anything, he backed straight into a wooden post. But he only laughed at himself and gave his back a quick brush-off. “Like I was saying, I’m so hungry I’m dizzy.”
“We’re almost there.” Aaron’s heart felt light and free, better than it had felt for weeks. He had no idea where his feelings might lead, especially when he hadn’t dealt with his past. But he had to find a way to keep Megan from running out of his life. Sh
e was right about their differences. Still, other than his agent’s control tactics, there were no rules saying a pro quarterback had to date certain people and avoid others.
Unless that wasn’t the reason she was keeping her distance. Maybe she’d read about the teenager in the parking lot of the bar a month ago, or the ongoing tabloid talk that he was a serious bachelor, playing the field outside the stadium as much as he played it inside. The possibility was enough to bring the fog back around his mind and soul. He deserved his reputation. If she’d already made her mind up about him, then he wasn’t sure what he could do.
They were at the west end of the pier now, and a crowd gathered off to one side. Even from where they stood, they could hear the barking of dozens of sea lions, perched on an outcropping of rock halfway between the pier and Forbes Island. The farther they walked out onto the pier, the more nervous Megan looked. She checked over her shoulder and stared at the length of the pier. “Is the restaurant up there?”
“No.” He pointed out to a small island not far from the end of the pier. “It’s out in the water.”
“The island?” Megan turned her eyes to him. Her alarm showed in her eyes. “Aaron, I…I can’t.”
“There’s a restaurant out there? On that island?” Cory walked a little closer toward the crowd. “That’s so cool! How do we get across?”
“A shuttle boat.” Aaron had eaten there a number of times with his linemen. The restaurant had gourmet food, but more than that, it had an intimate atmosphere. He was much less likely to be recognized. “I know the owner.”
“Great!” Cory ran toward the edge of the pier and grabbed onto the wooden railing. He pointed at the sea lions, then looked back at Megan.
Only a slight nod came from Megan. She anchored her feet and stared at the wooden slats beneath them. Her face looked pale, and she shook her head a few quick times. “I can’t…do it.” She kept her voice low, as if she didn’t want anyone else to hear.