* * * * *
Helping to set up the open house is as boring as I feared.
It starts with Nicole directing me to run several dishes from her van to the pavilion in the middle of the park. Nicole has made every dish on the face of the planet. Crackers with dip. Deviled eggs. Cookies in the shape of little hamburgers, which actually aren't too bad. Some things rolled in ham that I forget the name of. And then there's the specially ordered M&M's in the colors of the university that Dianna's headed to next semester.
Dianna sits at a picnic table, texting someone and not lifting a finger to help either of us. If she's watching me do all the grunt work, I can't tell. Her sunglasses take up half her face.
That's the kind of friend my mom wants me to make.
No thanks.
I’d rather haul out these folding chairs than do that. The last thing I want is to hear Dianna bragging out getting accepted into some sorority whose name is a bunch of Greek letters and how she's going to drink until she throws up.
"Thank you so much for this, Allie," Nicole says. She sounds genuine. I feel kind of bad for her, putting all this effort in to watch her daughter ignore her.
"No problem," I lift a few chairs and head back to the middle pavilion.
"Oh, let me help you with that." Nicole rushes up to my side, all red-faced while Dianna continues to text away halfway across the park. "Those are heavy. Let me at least take this one."
I let her take one of the chairs. "Really. It's not a problem. They're not bad."
"You must have been working out since the start of the school year." Nicole grabs the chair with both hands and walks it along the ground.
I let my chairs drop to the floor of the pavilion and they make a loud crash that makes even Dianna look up. Maybe they are a little heavy. But how did I lift them without--
The strange growl blows up in my head again like it’s answering my thoughts. It spreads down through my limbs. I tremble. It's like something big approaching from miles away. I lean over and grasp the table, catching my breath. It's the post-traumatic stress setting in. It's about time my emotions do something normal since the tornado. The roar inside grows louder, consuming everything inside of me--
"Allie? Are you okay? You didn't hurt your back, did you?"
I snap out of it. "No." I shake my head. Silence rules. Good. Normal or not, I'm glad the roar's gone. "I'm just remembering some stuff is all."
"Oh." Nicole nods in understanding.
She can't say a thing. My mom made it clear that we're not to talk about my storm chase vacation today. The thing is, I want to talk to someone about it, anyone. I haven't spoken to any of my real friends since I got home.
I want to tell Uncle Cassius about that weird dream in the barn. My parents will never understand. Even Tommy and Bethany wouldn’t believe me. They weren’t there. I want to hear his reassurance that the scene in the barn was just my brain spitting out some stuff under stress.
Hear anybody's reassurance that was the case.
We finish setting up and I make my way to the swing set and settle there with a plate of potato chips and cake. Dianna's relatives show up first, some with envelopes. Dianna actually gets up and hugs those people. Everyone else gets a wave and a glance back at her cell phone. When Dianna's friends show up, that's when she gets up from the table and starts acting like a human being.
I see nobody I know.
People sit at tables. Eat. Pick at little mints. Drum their fingers. Kids run around the jungle gym nearby while Dianna and her friends disappear to the other side of the park.
I'm going to insist that my parents save the trouble in two years.
"We've come to save you from death by boredom."
I turn. Tommy and Bethany stand behind me. Tommy kneels like a knight. "At your service."
"How did you know I was here?" Mom confiscated my phone a week ago and I haven't seen it--or my friends--since. I’ve never been so glad to see them. Bethany with the crazy streaks in her hair—this week they’re orange—and Tommy, with his adorable smile and that goofy hair that hangs over his glasses.
Tommy stands. "Well, we overheard Dianna saying you'd be helping here today."
"Let me guess." I face the other way on the swing. "She said something along the lines of, 'Oh, look. That little nerd girl gets to be our pack mule at my open house. I wonder what she did."
"Close." Bethany looks past me like she's debating on telling me the exact words. “She said…well, that you were…never mind.” She turns away and kicks at a pebble in the dirt.
I can’t help but think that Bethany was about to finish with something more harsh than freak.
"Okay. I get it." I hold up a hand.
Bethany sits on the swing next to mine. "Okay. Tell us about it."
"About--?" I press.
She rolls her eyes. "Your trip. Did you see one or not?"
My wish has been granted. I grin. Loophole. Bethany and Tommy don't count as guests, so Nicole can’t tell my mom that I was bothering them with the tornado story.
"You can say I did," I start, kicking at the dust under the swing.
"Pictures?"
I lean back to face the sky. The clouds thicken above our heads, a lot larger than the cotton balls they were an hour ago. "Sorry. The camera got smashed when the tornado rolled our van over."
"What?" Bethany practically gasps it.
I sit up and look around to make sure nobody cares that I'm over here. Nicole's sitting next to a couple of women who look like her sisters and Dianna's still ignoring everyone related to her. I'm clear.
"Okay," I say. "We didn't see anything the first couple of days that Kyle took us out, but on the third day…"
My friends don't believe the part where I got ripped out of the van. It's obvious. Bethany's eyebrows lift higher with each word I say. Tommy nods a lot, humoring me until I get done. I leave out the weird dream with the barn or whatever it was. Now that I have someone to talk to, I can't open up about it. I just can't.
"And you told us this with a straight face," Bethany says when I'm done. "You know, Allie, if you almost die in something like that, you should at least show some emotion."
I sigh. "Look, I was scared when it was happening, but when I woke up, it just didn’t bother me anymore. I know it doesn't make any sense."
Tommy dives onto the swing and rocks back and forth on his stomach. He points at the sky. "So that doesn't bother you?"
At first I think he's asking about my trip, but then I look up and see it. The sky darkens to the west, to a bluish-gray that's sure to deepen more. It's a storm. Heading this way.
Tingles run through me, but I can't say that they're bad. "No. It's not bothering me."
I read lots of times that people who survive tornadoes end up with a permanent, intense fear of storms. They run to the basement at the first sign of thunder. They panic. They have a reaction that any sane person would have.
My heart doesn't even speed up.
Bethany gives me a push on the back, sending me forward on the swing. "Then you're lying, Allie. You're so lying."
"Am not.”
“You got your parents to believe you went to Disney World. So you’re not that bad at it.” She moves a little closer to Tommy, like she’s trying to shield him from me. He shifts and reclaims his personal space. When is Bethany going to stop throwing herself at him? Tommy’s not interested in her that way. He’s complained about the whole thing to me more than once.
I rise and look closer at the storm in case there's anything interesting. It's too far away to tell.
I should be scared.
Terrified.
Something is very wrong with me.
Maybe that dream or vision of the tornado slamming into my chest wasn't a dream after all--
"Allie!" Nicole calls across the grass for me. "Can you come over and h
elp me cover some of these dishes? It looks like there's some weather coming."
"Great. Right back." I run over to the pavilion where Boredom Central is still going on full force. Tommy and Bethany walk after me, but I hold up my hand to tell them to stay back. I don't need to get into any more trouble for letting them help me, though I know Nicole could use their hands.
By time we get plastic over all the dishes and the special M&M's away from the edges of the pavilion, the thunder's gone from a distant grumble to a cannon fight happening in the woods nearby. The sky's deepened to a dark gray.
Dianna and her friends wander back, making a show of ignoring me as they find a table on the other side of the pavilion and sit. I sense their gazes coming over to me. I can pretend they're not cracking jokes about me over there, sizing up my faded jeans and gray dinosaur T-shirt that I fought my mom for the chance to wear today.
Thunder claps and my head goes all light and swimmy.
"Do you think we'll be okay in here?" Nicole asks. She sounds like someone talking underwater.
I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the feeling. The swimmy feeling stays, like my head's going to lift off my shoulders and float away like a balloon. Nicole waits for my answer.
"If we have to, we can run into the bathrooms," I say, leaning against the table. The faint roar fills the inside of my skull and fades again.
"I suppose you have a point," Nicole says. She eyes the storm and looks back at me. "Allie, are you okay? If you want to, you know, leave, I understand."
My mother must have told her what happened. Makes sense.
"Allie?" Tommy leans into my vision. "Are you sure you don't need to go?"
"I'm fine." I straighten up and face the storm. A breeze makes its way towards the dark clouds like it’s trying to suck everything in. It feels like I'm going to get swept away with it, I'm so light. "I think I sat in the sun too long. If I drink some water and lie down a bit, I should feel better."
Bethany gets me a plastic cup filled with ice from the cooler. The back of my neck prickles. Dianna and her posse will burst out in giggles if I pass out right here. I won’t be able to keep my mouth shut. Nicole doesn't deserve that and besides, I have no desire to make my parents any madder at me right now.
"Let's go to the other pavilion," I manage, struggling to keep my footing. I wave Tommy and Bethany along with me, leaving Nicole to mess with the cooler.
"Are you sure you aren't having a panic attack?" Tommy asks when we get there.
"I'm not." I blink, but the light feeling stays. Another roll of thunder shakes the ground. "It's more Dianna, to tell you the truth."
Rain falls, pattering at first, then streaming, then pounding. The roof of our pavilion hisses and drips. The bathroom's blocking our view of the open house. I'm sure Dianna and her friends are screaming and running to the middle of the shelter.
I'm floating.
I stagger to the side, grabbing the table. Bethany says something. It's lost in the rain. Thunder fills the world, too loud in my ears. "Guys--"
"Lay down." Bethany's voice quivers with panic. "Are you about to pass out?"
I can't answer or care. I climb onto the table, get on my back and let my head thud down. The ceiling of the pavilion tilts and sways. My pulse quickens. Fear spreads through me like a shock wave. Something's going wrong with me. I could be dying. Having a seizure. They'll have to call the ambulance.
"Allie…" Tommy appears above me. His eyes are huge. He blinks several times. "This is going to sound way weird, but I can see through you."
I let my head fall to the side. See through me. It makes no--
I can make out the table next to me through my gray sleeve.
Lightning flashes and the fear explodes into terror. The roar replaces everything in my head.
I hold my arm up. The world tilts, out of control. "What--?"
Wind blasts into the pavilion. My hand wavers.
Blows away like a sand castle in a hurricane.
My arm. My shoulder.
All of me.
"Allie!" Tommy reaches for me, but his arms close on summer storm.
I'm particles in the air.
I whip away on Bethany's screams and the rush of the wind.
Chapter Five