"Walker" was all she could manage as her orgasm blinded her. She gripped his arms and held on while he thrust her off her feet, impaling her on his cock as he came shuddering against her, bending her over and wrapping his arms around her while they both rode out their climaxes.
Panting and sweating, Walker lifted her into his arms and carried her into the bathroom. After they cleaned up, they found their clothes, dressed and snuggled together on the sofa.
The rain had begun to let up, now only a shadow of the fierce storm it had been earlier.
Jolene snuggled against Walker's chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat, realizing how comfortable she could be with him. It wasn't even necessary that they talk. Just being with him was enough. And when she wasn't with him, she wanted to be.
Like recently. Just a few days apart and she'd missed him. Despite her hurt and anger, she'd still craved his touch, being near him. She'd even missed working side by side with him.
And yes, the sex was phenomenal, but it had become more than that.
Much more.
Because she felt him deep in her heart, a place she'd never let a man in before.
She didn't exactly know what she was going to do about that, because of all the men she'd ever known before, Walker had the most potential to hurt her.
The question was, could she take the chance of allowing that to happen?
A part of her still wondered about him, if he was being completely honest with her about his reasons for treating her the way he did, for not wanting anyone to know about the two of them. Walker didn't seem to be the kind of guy to worry over his job, or to be concerned about who held what station, or whether she was the boss and he was a hand. Those kinds of dynamics didn't matter in ranching, to her, to anyone for that matter.
There had to be something else he wasn't telling her.
But what?
Some deep, dark secret? If it was, he didn't trust her enough to tell her about it.
Could she give her heart completely to someone who didn't trust her with his?
eight
"maybe the problem is that walker only sees you as the big boss, the owner of the Bar M, a coworker. Maybe he doesn't see you as a woman."
Jolene cocked her head to the side and stared at Valerie. "Huh?"
Brea nodded, studying her. "I see what she's saying. Look at you, Jo."
Jolene looked down at her jeans, her workboots, and held out her arms. Plain blue work shirt, same thing she wore every damn day. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"
Valerie sighed and shook her head. They were sitting in Jolene's bedroom talking about the annual town picnic tomorrow, and Jolene had filled them in about her concerns with Walker.
"The problem is you look like every other cowboy Walker works with."
Jolene rolled her eyes. "So?"
"So he can't separate the work you from the woman you because they're one and the same." Valerie pointed to her. "That's all he sees. Ever."
"Trust me. Walker knows what's underneath these clothes. He's seen me naked. We've had sex."
"Too much information, little sister," Brea said, holding her hand out, palm facing Jolene. "Don't need to hear about your sex life."
"Then I don't get it. How does what I wear have anything to do with Walker's problem?"
Valerie opened the door to Jolene's closet. In it were blue jeans, work shirts and some tank tops, and a few skirts and dresses she rarely wore.
Jolene put her hands on her hips. "So?"
"So maybe he'd stop thinking of you as the boss of the Bar M--his boss--if you'd stop looking like it all the damn time." Valerie closed the closet door. "What were you planning to wear to the picnic?"
Jolene shrugged. "Jeans and a tank top. My boots."
Valerie rolled her eyes. "See? That's exactly what I'm talking about. Tomorrow is a perfect time to let your hair down, literally. Get a manicure and pedicure. Wear sandals. A dress."
"I get pedicures in town on occasion. Manicures are wasted on me since I work with my hands all day. And a dress?" Jolene wrinkled her nose. "Can't win the potato sack race in a dress."
"Then don't enter the potato sack race this year. Gah, Jolene, how old are you anyway?"
"Hey, I like that race." So did all the kids. And she loved running it with the kids, dammit.
Brea laughed. "This year maybe you could win a man instead."
Jolene sighed and flopped onto her bed, twining her fingers together and pulling her hands behind her head. "You might have a point. He's never seen me in anything but jeans and boots. It might be fun to . . . dress up for him."
But did she even know how to wear a dress? She only did that for special occasions. It wasn't required for ranchers, and that included her.
Brea's eyes twinkled and her grin was a mile wide. "Trust me, there's nothing a man likes more than a woman wearing a dress. The things you can do in a dress . . . the things a man can do to you when you're wearing a dress . . ."
Jolene shot Brea a look. "Now who's giving too much information?"
Brea shrugged and continued to smile like the getting-sex-all-the-damn-time, contented, happy woman she was.
Jolene stared into her closet, wrinkling her nose as she scanned the skimpy choice of skirts and dresses she had available. "Okay. So who's got a picnic-type dress to loan me?"
"Oh no," Valerie said, hopping to her feet. "We're going into town today. You're getting a manicure and a pedicure, and a spray tan to cover up the farmer's tan lines you've got. And then we're going shopping."
"I've got too many things to do today."
"You can afford to take a day off. Tell Mason to assign whatever it is you have to do to someone else," Brea said, sliding off the bed and dragging Jolene with her. "You're spending the day with your sisters."
by noon the next day, jolene was sitting in the SUV with Mason, Valerie, Gage and Brea, her heart lodged firmly in her throat.
Her body was tan--all over. That was an experience she didn't care to repeat anytime soon. Standing near naked in a booth while someone sprayed you with cold . . . stuff. The things women did in the name of beauty were beyond her. But she had to admit the end result was excellent.
She'd loved the manicure and pedicure, though, had enjoyed sitting in the salon and relaxing with her sisters, being pampered while someone buffed and polished her nails. She now sported a pretty pink color on her fingernails and toenails, and even had a white flower painted on each of her big toes. Very cute.
And with a begrudging nod to her sisters, she had to admit the dress was comfortable enough. The last color in the world she ever thought she'd wear was pink.
Yet here she was, decked out with pink toenails and pink fingernails. A pale pink dress with yellow flowers hugged her upper body from the bust to her waist, then billowed out past her hips so it swirled around her when she twirled. And okay, she might have twirled when she saw herself in the mirror. And Valerie insisted she buy sandals that had a little bit of a heel on them, even though Jolene figured she'd fall on her ass as soon as she tried to walk in them. But they looked cute with the dress, so what the hell. If she fell, she'd be the first to laugh at herself.
Her sisters were equally as beautiful. Valerie wore a red sundress that crisscrossed in the back and showed off her slender figure, and Brea looked stunning in a copper-colored dress that made her auburn hair sparkle like it was on fire. Gage couldn't take his eyes off her. It was a good thing Jolene had sat in the back with them to keep her eye on them, or the way the two of them were gaping at each other there might have been some action going on back there.
They'd made potato salad and pies for the town picnic. Okay, Lila had done most of the pie baking, but she'd allowed Valerie, Brea and Jolene to take over the kitchen to make potato salad.
Jolene liked having her sisters back. She loved Lila, couldn't have survived all those years after her mom died without Lila's loving support. She was as close to a mother as Jolene could remember having.
>
But there was something about having her sisters around, sharing secrets, getting close to them again, that made her heart clench. She hadn't realized until they came back how much she'd missed them. How much she needed them. How lonely and empty her life had been without them.
Tears sprang up and she blinked in rapid succession. Valerie would kill her if she smeared the makeup she'd insisted Jolene wear.
"Are you crying?" Brea reached over and slid her hand in Jolene's.
"No."
Valerie turned around and looked over the front seat. "Jolene. There are tears in your eyes. What's wrong?"
Dammit. She looked to Valerie, then Brea. "I was just thinking how awesome it is to have both of you here. I hadn't realized how much I needed you both until you came back."
There was a dead silence for several seconds, then a lot of sniffling.
"Well, goddamn," Mason said, shaking his head. "Pass around the Kleenex box."
"No one told me it was going to get all hormonal in here," Gage said. "I'd have taken the truck."
Brea elbowed him and laughed, then sniffed and grabbed a tissue. "Shut up." She leaned over and put her arm around Jolene. "I missed you. And Valerie. I didn't realize how much I needed the two of you, either, until I came back to the ranch."
Valerie dabbed her eyes. "Ditto. I love both of you and can't imagine my life anywhere but with my family."
"I'm going to pull over and let all three of you out to walk the rest of the way if you don't knock it off," Mason said, shaking his head.
Gage made a mocking sniffle. "Now I might cry, too."
Jolene laughed then. "Okay, sorry. Waterworks over."
They pulled onto one of the side streets and found a place to park near the main street. It was still early, but the lines of traffic were already starting to get longer as people from all the neighboring ranches and surrounding towns filed in. Food, carnival rides and games abounded as the main street in town was closed off for the annual picnic. Booths were set up from various vendors offering food and craft items, rides had been brought in for the daring and those with strong stomachs, and there'd be entertainment on one of the stages set up at the end of the street. Clowns wandered in and out of the throng, making up balloon animals for the kids.
"I'm heading for the beer tent," Mason said as soon as they reached the main street.
"I'm with you," Gage said.
Valerie rolled her eyes. "I'll meet you there as soon as we drop off the food."
Jolene laughed. "I'll take it. You go on ahead."
"You sure?"
She nodded and grabbed the bags containing the pies and potato salad. The food table was only a block away, so she got there in no time at all, dropped off the food and stopped to talk to one of the neighboring ranch owners' wives who was in charge of setting out the food.
Melinda Carson was well into her sixties, and still fit and trim from all the time she spent working the ranch. No doubt her three grandchildren under the age of five and running circles around her accounted for burning a lot of calories, too.
"Is Bob here?"
Melinda nodded. "Beer tent."
Jolene laughed. "I think that's where all the guys are hiding."
"At least until the band fires up. Hopefully the men will have enough beer in them by then to want to take us out for a twirl to the music."
"Mmm, let's hope so." She'd like to dance with Walker tonight. In front of the whole town. Make their relationship public, finally.
She finished her conversation with Melinda and started down the street to the beer tent, waylaid a few times by vendors hawking their wares. Jolene was a sucker for crafts, couldn't resist looking at the jewelry, artwork, pottery and everything else on display. By the time she found the beer tent, nearly an hour had passed and the place was packed. After the big rain, the heat had rolled in, leaving the weather less humid and hot as blazes. No wonder the beer tent was such a popular place.
Jolene found her family and sat at the table. Mason passed a beer to her.
"Did you get lost?"
She shook her head. "Vendor booths."
"Oooh, find anything good?" Brea asked.
"Lots. Too many things. I'm going back later to gawk."
"I'll go with you."
"Me, too. I can never resist the pottery booth. It's my weakness," Valerie said.
Jolene sipped her beer, visited with her sisters and couldn't help but look around for Walker. He'd promised her he'd be here. She wondered if he'd ignore her like the last time they'd been together in public. She hoped not. It would be the final straw if he did. She wouldn't go through that again.
The band started up, so everyone headed outside to listen to the music, a few couples getting out in front of the grandstand to start dancing. Gage and Brea and Valerie and Mason got up to dance, while Jolene watched them twirl around, laughing at the guys' attempts at two-stepping.
"Care to dance?"
Her head shot up, expecting to see Walker standing there. It was Larry, one of the cowboys from a neighboring ranch.
She was about to say no, but since she hadn't yet spotted Walker, she figured dancing was better than looking like a wallflower, so she smiled up at Larry and offered her hand. "Sure."
walker headed into the beer tent to search out Jolene, but didn't see her in there.
The whole town seemed to be crowded into the narrow main street, making it feel even hotter and more humid than the midafternoon heat bearing down on the cement walkway as he made his way out of the tent and toward where the band played. People crowded the street in front of the band, couples dancing and twirling to a fast country rock beat. He scanned the people, looking for Jolene, but didn't see her, so he moved off and searched the tables set in front of the dance floor, thinking he'd find her there, but he didn't.
The song ended so he stopped while people moved past him. Only then did he spot Mason and Gage along with Valerie and Brea, talking and laughing with another couple. It took him a few seconds to register the gorgeous blonde in the pink dress, her arm linked with a tall cowboy he didn't recognize.
That gorgeous blonde was Jolene.
He couldn't recall ever seeing her dressed like that. He sucked in a breath, gut-punched as she turned around and lifted her head, smiling up at the cowboy.
Her hair spilled over her shoulders like soft waving wheat. She was tan from her face to her legs. And wow, those legs, peeking out under that pretty pink dress, all the way down to her slender ankles and painted toenails. The dress billowed in the slight breeze as she turned to greet another tall, dark and irritating cowboy Walker didn't know, who swept her onto the dance floor as the band started up again.
Wasn't she popular? Put the owner of the Bar M in a dress and suddenly every prick within a hundred miles notices she's a woman. He'd damn well noticed long before she put on a party dress. He'd noticed her in jeans, work boots and a long-sleeved shirt, with her hair hanging in a braid down her back, covered up with a cowboy hat. He'd noticed her covered up to her neck in dirt and smelling like cow shit. He'd noticed her when she was cussing like any of the men, when she was sweating and stank and when she was unpleasant. Not cleaned up and beautiful like she was now, looking like the sweetest thing this side of the Red River. Sure, she looked gorgeous today, but to him, she looked just as beautiful knee-deep in mud, too.
Where the hell were those guys when she was straining to hold a screaming calf, when she was branding and tagging and roping and doing all the things he admired so much about her? Those guys weren't around. They hadn't noticed Jolene then.
But Walker had. Though he had to admit she sure cleaned up good. And whether in blue jeans or a pretty pink dress, that was his woman those guys were passing around on the dance floor.
And he didn't like it one damn bit. The problem was, he couldn't do anything about it. Not without letting the whole town know how he felt about her. And that would stir up a hornets' nest he wasn't interested in messing with. It had taken years
for him to even be able to show his face in town without the accusatory stares. He wasn't going down that road again with Jolene, no matter how much he loved her.
Today just wasn't a good day to go public. Too many people around who knew his history.
But he'd be letting Jolene down. Again. He didn't want to hurt her, but if she found out the truth about him, if word got out that he was seeing her, she'd be hurt anyway.
No-win situation.
Shit.
He stopped off at the beer tent and bought a bottle, then headed down to the park to think.
an hour had passed and jolene's head was spinning. She'd danced so much with guys from the neighboring ranches, her feet were killing her, and she had no idea why she was suddenly so popular.
"Put you in a dress and suddenly all the men from a hundred miles figure out you have breasts and legs," Brea said with a wry smile.
"Uh huh. How come they couldn't figure out I was a woman before?"
Valerie slid into the chair on the other side of Jolene. "Some are dumber than others. And some like their women to actually look like women."
Jolene took a long swallow of her bottled water. "And some noticed I was a woman no matter what I was wearing."
"Walker, you mean," Valerie said.
"Yes. Who I haven't seen yet."
"Saw him headed west about a half hour ago," Mason said, carefully balancing a plate overloaded with barbecued ribs, potato salad and corn on the cob.
Jolene turned to Mason. "He was here?"
"Yeah. I spotted him watching everyone dance. Then he took off. Not sure why he didn't come over when he saw us."
Jolene had a pretty good idea. She scooted her chair back and stood. "I'll be back."
West, Mason had said. The park was west of the main street. Other than that, there wasn't anything but more streets with businesses, then the residential areas, a school and the church. She decided to try the park.
Normally on a hot Saturday afternoon the park would be filled with parents toting their kids to the playground and having picnics under the dense canopy of trees. Rusty redwood tables were haphazardly spread throughout the lush green hills there. It was at one of the empty tables she found Walker, staring out at a small lake where geese paddled along the still waters.