XV
AGAIN THE NERVINA
It was at this point that I began taking notes. There is somethingpsychological to the Blind Spot, weird and touching on the spirit. Iknow not what it is; but I can feel it. It impinges on to life. I cansense the ecstasy of horror. I am not afraid. Whatever it is that isdragging me down, it is not evil. My sensations are not normal.
For the benefit of my successor, if there is to be one, I have made anelaborate detail of notes and comments. After all, the whole thing,when brought down to the end, must fall to the function of science.When Hobart arrives, whatever my fate, he will find a complete andcomprehensive record of my sensations. I shall keep it up to the end.Such notes being dry and sometimes confusing I have purposely omittedthem from this narrative. But there are some things that must begiven to the world. I shall pick out the salient parts and give themchronologically.
Jerome stayed with me. Rather I should say he spent the nights with me.Most of the time he was on the elusive trail of the Rhamda. From theminute of our conversation with Kennedy he held to one conviction. Hewas positive of that chemist back in the nineties. He was certain ofthe Rhamda. Whatever the weirdness of his theory it would certainly bearinvestigation. When he was not on the trail over the city he was at workin the cellar. Here we worked together.
We dug up the concrete floor and did a bit of mining. I was interestedin the formation.
From the words of Budge Kennedy the bit of jewel had been discovered atthe original excavation. We found the blue clay that he spoke of, butnothing else. Jerome dissected every bit of earth carefully. We havespent many hours in that cellar.
But most of the time I was alone. When not too worn with the lonelinessand weariness I worked at my notes. It has been a hard task from thebeginning. Inertia, lack of energy! How much of our life is impulse!What is the secret that backs volition? It has been will--will-powerfrom the beginning. I must thank my ancestors. Without the strength andcharacter built up through generations, I would have succumbed utterly.
Even as it is I sometimes think I am wrong in following the dictates ofWatson. If I were only sure. I have pledged my word and my honour. Whatdid he know? I need all the reserve of character to hold up againstthe Nervina. From the beginning she has been my opponent. What is herinterest in the Blind Spot and myself? Who is she? I cannot think ofher as evil. She is too beautiful, too tender; her concern is so real.Sometimes I think of her as my protector, that it is she, and she alonewho holds back the power which would engulf me. Once she made a personalappeal.
Jerome had gone. I was alone. I had dragged myself to the desk and mynotes and data. It was along toward spring and in the first shadows ofthe early evening. I had turned on the lights. It was the first labourI had done for several days. I had a great deal of work before me. Ihad begun sometime before to take down my temperature. I was careful ofeverything now, as much as I could be under the depression. So far I haddiscerned nothing that could be classed as pathological.
There is something subtle about the Nervina. She is much like theRhamda. Perhaps they are the same. I hear no sound, I have no notion ofa door or entrance. Watson had said of the Rhamda, "Sometimes you seehim, sometimes you don't." It is so with the Nervina. I remember onlymy working at the data and the sudden movement of a hand upon my desk--agirl's hand. It was bewildering. I looked up.
I had not seen her since that night. It was now eight months--did I notknow, I would have recorded them as years. Her expression was a bit moresad--and beautiful. The same wonderful glow of her eyes, night-black andtender; the softness that comes from passion, and love, and virtue. Thesame wistful droop of the perfect mouth. What a wondrous mass of hairshe had! I dropped my pen. She took my hand. I could sense the thrill ofcontact; cool and magnetic.
"Harry!"
She said no more; I did not answer; I was too taken by surprise andwonder. I could feel her concern as I would a mother's. What was herinterest in myself? The contact of her hand sent a strange pulse throughmy vitals; she was so beautiful. Could it be? Watson said he loved her.Could I blame him?
"Harry," she asked, "how long is it to continue?"
So that was it. Merely an envoy to accept surrender. I was worn utterly,weary of the world, lonely. But I hadn't given up. I had strength still,and will enough to hold out to the end. Perhaps I was wrong. If I gaveher the ring? what then?
"I am afraid," I answered, "that I must go on. I have given my word. Ithas been much harder than I expected. This jewel? What has it to do withthe Blind Spot?"
"It controls it."
"Does the Rhamda desire it?"
"He does."
"Why doesn't he call for it personally? Why doesn't he make a cleanbreast of it? It would be much easier. He knows and you know that I amafter Dr. Holcomb and Watson. I might even forego the secret. Would herelease the doctor?"
"No, Harry, he would not."
"I see. If I gave up the ring it would be merely for my personal safety.I am a coward--"
"Oh," she said, "don't say that. You must give the ring to me--not tothe Rhamda. He must not control the Blind Spot."
"What is the Blind Spot? Tell me."
"Harry," she spoke, "I cannot. It is not for you or any other mortal. Itis a secret that should never have been uncovered. It might be the end.In the hands of the Rhamda it would certainly be the end of mankind."
"Who is the Rhamda? Who are you? You are too beautiful to be merelywoman. Are you a spirit?"
She pressed my hand ever so slightly. "Do I feel like a spirit? I ammaterial as much as you are. We live, see--everything."
"But you are not of this world?"
Her eyes grew sadder; a soft longing.
"Not exactly, Harry, not exactly. It is a long story and a very strangeone. I may not tell you. It is for your own good. I am your friend"--hereyes were moist--"I--don't you see? Oh, I would save you!"
I did not doubt it. Somehow she was like a girl of dreams, pure as anangel; her wistfulness only deepened her beauty. It came like a shockat the moment. I could love this woman. She was--what was I thinking?My guilty mind ran back to Charlotte. I had loved her since boyhood. Iwould be a coward--then a wild fear. Perhaps of jealousy.
"The Rhamda? Is he your husband? You are the same--"
"Oh," she answered, "why do you say it?" Her eyes snapped and she grewrigid. "The Rhamda! My husband! If you only knew. I hate him! We areenemies. It was he who opened the Blind Spot. I am here because he isevil. To watch him. I love your world, I love it all. I would save it. Ilove--"
She dropped her head. Whatever she was, she was not above sobbing.
I touched her hair; it was of the softest texture I have ever seen;the lustre was like all the beauty of night woven into silk. She loved,loved; I could love--I was on the point of surrender.
"Tell me," I asked, "just one thing more. If I gave you this ring wouldyou save the doctor and Chick Watson?"
She raised her head; her eyes glistened; but she did not answer.
"Would you?"
She shook her head. "I cannot," she answered. "That cannot be. I canonly save you for--for--Charlotte."
Was it vanity in myself? I don't know. It seemed to me that it was hardfor her to say it. Frankly, I loved her. I knew it. I loved Charlotte. Iloved them both. But I held to my purpose.
"Are the professor and Watson living?"
"They are."
"Are they conscious?"
She nodded. "Harry," she said, "I can tell you that. They are living andconscious. You have seen them. They have only one enemy--the Rhamda.But they must never come out of the Blind Spot. I am their friend andyours."
A sudden courage came upon me. I remembered my word to Watson. I hadloved the old professor. I would save them. If necessary I would followto the end. Either myself or Fenton. One of us would solve it!
"I shall keep the ring," I said. "I shall avenge them. Somehow,somewhere, I feel that I shall do it. Even if I must follow--"
She straightened at that. Her eye
s were frightened.
"Oh," she said, "why do you say it? It must not be! You would perish!You shall not do it! I must save you. You must not go alone. Three--itmay not be. If you go, I go with you. Perhaps--oh, Harry!"
She dropped her head again; her body shook with her sobbing; plainlyshe was a girl. No real man is ever himself in the presence of a woman'stears. I was again on the point of surrender. Suddenly she looked up.
"Harry," she spoke sadly, "I have just one thing to ask. You must seeCharlotte. You must forget me; we can never--you love Charlotte. I haveseen her; she's a beautiful girl. You haven't written. She is worried.Remember what you mean to her happiness. Will you go?"
That I could promise.
"Yes, I shall see Charlotte."
She rose from her chair. I held her hand. Again, as in the restaurant, Ilifted it to my lips. She flushed and drew it away. She bit her lip. Herbeauty was a kind I could not understand.
"You must see Charlotte," she said, "and you must do as she says."
With that she was gone. There was a car waiting; the last I saw was itswinking tail-light dimming into the darkness.