“You’re still looking at me.” Nicholas didn’t open his eyes.
“Yes.” Excitement was building, the decision was forming. Madness. He would not force her, would not even try to seduce her. All she had to do was close her eyes and go to sleep. Yet, why should she do that? That very knowledge was a seduction in itself. She wanted this man. It would be she who took, not he. She could have what her body craved, and then be the one who walked away. As for the consequences, she would find a way to protect herself from the consequences of giving herself to Nicholas.
A sudden thrill of fear rained through her as she realized that one of those consequences might be that she’d be with child … as her mother had been. But she was far stronger than her mother, and coupling did not always result in a child. Rising Star had been married fourteen years before she had conceived, and Elspeth was still not with child though four years had passed since she had wed Dominic. There was a chance she would be fortunate and still take her pleasure without suffering for it.
Consequences? When had she ever worried about consequences? she wondered. She had always acted first and thought later and she knew suddenly that was exactly what she was going to do now. Soon she must leave Nicholas and go back to Etaine and her own life. She could not look forward to many pleasures in the future, why should she not satisfy this craving that racked her body with burning need? “I don’t want to go to sleep.” She got to her knees and quickly unbuttoned the shirt she was wearing and slipped it off. “What if I fell asleep and the monster devoured me?”
“It’s not any monster you have to worry about tonight.” His eyes remained tightly closed. “I assure you that I—” He broke off and his eyes flew open. Long strands of fragrant satin-dark hair were trailing across his chest as she leaned over him, veiled only by the sheer tunic. “My God,” he whispered.
A faint flush colored her cheeks as she slipped the tunic to her waist and leaned closer. “I do not fear you.” Her lips touched his shoulder. “Do you fear me?”
“God, yes. I’m scared as hell you’re going to tie me in knots and then leave me. It’s a game you’re quite adept at playing.”
“I will not leave you.” Her mouth moved to the golden thatch of hair on his chest and she opened her lips to tug at a tuft like a playful puppy. His heart gave a great leap and then started pounding erratically. “Not until you have what you want.” Pressing her breasts to the thatch of hair, she rubbed back and forth, closing her eyes to enjoy the sensation more fully. It was even better than she had imagined. Each brush against her sensitive nipples caused a hot tingle to rush through her and the aching between her thighs to increase tenfold.
“You’re hurt.”
“No longer. It was nothing. I’m strong now.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” She took his hand and placed his palm on her left breast. “Touch me. I think it will give me pleasure.”
His hand slowly closed on her breast, his eyes narrowing on her face. She was flaming. Glowing. Her excitement so intense she was trembling as he squeezed the rounded globe. He felt a sudden surge of power flood him. He could do this to her. He could make her flame and tremble. He reached out with the other hand and cupped her right breast and began to squeeze rhythmically, watching with pleasure the hardening of her nipples, the swelling of her breasts in the palms of his hands. “I think it does give you pleasure, love. Come here.” He moved her up so that her full breasts hung over his mouth like ripe golden apples. He licked delicately at one rosy nipple. “And I think this gives you pleasure too, doesn’t it?”
Pleasure. It was too tame a word for the emotion tearing through her. She was burning. She couldn’t breathe. She bent closer, nudging at his mouth with her breast. “More. Please.”
He opened his lips and enveloped her with his mouth, sucking strongly. She cried out, throwing back her head as the wild, unbearably exciting sensations tore through her. Her hands went to his cheeks, stroking, helping him take.…
The tears brimmed and then rolled down her cheeks. She was panting. “Nicholas, I want—”
He pulled away, his mouth releasing her. “Shhh. I know.” His hands continued to squeeze her, watching the expressions on her face. “My God, your breasts are sensitive. I wonder …” He removed his hands and gently pushed her away. “Let me up, I have to get out of these clothes before I—” He was tearing at his clothes, his gaze still on her face. Her hunger was naked and so arousing to behold that when his manhood finally sprang free, it was with a power greater than he had ever experienced.
She was staring at him, her pink tongue absently moistening her berry-stained lips. He felt a thrust of heat so intense, he made a guttural sound deep in his throat.
“I want to touch you.” Silver’s gaze never left him. She got to her knees, her fingers running delicately, curiously, over the thatch of hair surrounding his manhood. “Your hair is golden all over your body. It’s darker gold here but …” She forgot what she was going to say as her hand grasped him. He jerked, a great shudder racking his body. It was like holding a great stallion with only a satin hair ribbon, she thought. All that force and power held helpless by the pleasure of her hand.
She slowly raised herself so that her breasts were touching him and gently brushed against him, letting him feel her softness against his manhood. His chest was moving in and out with the harshness of his breathing as he looked down at her dark head. “Silver …” His voice was choked. “I can’t bear much more. I’m …” He groaned through his teeth as her tongue touched him. His nostrils flared. “No! Not now!”
He jerked away from her and sank to his knees. His ebony eyes were glazed as he pushed her down on the moss and opened her thighs. He was wild, savage, as he tore the sheer veiling from her body. “I have to …” He trailed off, his hands searching.
She knew what he had to do, what she wanted him to do. The desire she felt was as wild and primitive as what he was feeling. Her palms slid up his chest, savoring the heat, the textures of him. She was making tiny frantic sounds as she felt his fingers probe and then enter her before beginning a gentle thrusting motion.
“More!” she gasped. “Nicholas, more!”
“Shh. Soon.” He moved between her thighs, his manhood nudging against her. “It’s just that you’re so tight. I want to make sure I don’t hurt you.”
Her nails dug into his shoulders. “I don’t care if you hurt me,” she said fiercely. “More.”
“Yes, yes!” A groan came with the same explosive power as his action as he suddenly plunged deep inside her.
Pain. Silver inhaled sharply as the expected wave of pain rolled over her. Then it was gone and there was only the hot, sweet fullness of joining.
“Silver.” Nicholas was looking down at her, stunned.
“It was nothing,” she said impatiently. “I expected much more pain. Go on. Is it always this good?”
“No.” He was still frozen, gazing at her blankly. She was so damn hot, tight, enveloping him. He was quivering, flexing, his manhood fighting to take more. More! My God, hadn’t he taken enough from her?
It appeared he hadn’t, for she was glaring up at him. “Don’t you dare stop. I won’t be cheated after I’ve gone this far.”
His laugh was a half sob in his throat. Only Silver would react to her deflowering in this fashion. Well, he would not cheat her or himself either. It was too late to stop now anyway.
He plunged again and began a wild rhythm that started the tension throbbing, rising, within them both.
Silver’s head was thrashing back and forth, her eyes gleaming like crystals as she gazed up at him. She was panting, moaning, ablaze. A firebird rising, fiery wings outstretched, soaring toward the sun. He rode the firebird into the dazzling radiance waiting for them beyond the horizon. Burning away the wind, the earth, the stars. Then in a wild and shimmering burst of flame, they burned away the sun itself.
And were left only with the velvet darkness of eternity … and each o
ther.
Silver lay in hazy contentment, lost in a dreamy lethargy of sensual pleasure she had never known before. Where was Nicholas? She had been vaguely conscious of him leaving her, but she had been too breathless and happy to protest.
Then he was beside her, kneeling and parting her thighs.
“What are you doing?” A cool dampness soothed her flesh. “Where did you get the cloth?” she asked lazily.
“That bed curtain is quite versatile in its uses.” He didn’t look at her as he threw the cloth aside. “It would have been of no use to you as a gown after I ripped it off you.” He reached for his white shirt. “Sit up.”
She obediently sat up and put her arms in the sleeves as he held his shirt for her. “Why do I have to put on clothes when you don’t?”
“Because I don’t pose the same temptation.” He rapidly buttoned the shirt. “I haven’t the slightest doubt I’ll be taking this off you very soon, but there are a few questions I want to put to you first.”
He was wrong, she thought dreamily, he posed a temptation that was almost irresistible now that she knew what pleasure he could give her. “I’ve made a decision.”
“Indeed?”
“I’ve decided I like doing what we just did better than smelling woodsmoke or eating raspberries or tasting honeysuckle.” She smiled. “Better than anything.”
His lips tightened. “You seem to have no apprehensions about yielding your virginity.”
“I didn’t yield it. I gave it. I chose to do so, and you gave me much pleasure.” She smiled. “Thank you.”
He stared at her incredulously. “You’re speaking as if I’d just given you a handful of those raspberries. I deflowered you, dammit!”
“I told you I liked it far better than raspberries,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “I regret I’m not duly dismayed.”
“Why should I expect anything else?” he asked caustically. “Perhaps Apaches are as casual about discarding their virginity as they are their clothing.”
“No, virginity is just as revered among the Apaches as it is among the whites. Why do you think my mother was forced to leave her tribe when she lay with Boyd Delaney? There was shame upon her head.” She gazed at him curiously. “Why are you so angry? You told me this was what you wanted from me from the very first moment we met. Now you have what you want and you’re still not content.”
“Because you were a virgin, dammit.” He grated the words out through set teeth. “You weren’t supposed to be a virgin. The reports I received said you were lying with one of those damn circus performers. The knife thrower, I think.”
“Sebastien? He is my friend; all the people of the circus are my friends. Except Monteith, the man who owns the circus. I would not have him for a friend.”
“I don’t give a damn about your friends at the moment. I want to know about your lovers. The Randall Investigative Agency told me—”
“They are obviously fools.” She shrugged. “You should have hired Pinkerton.”
“I agree. For some reason they wouldn’t accept my retainer.”
“If you told them you wanted to find Dominic, it’s not surprising. Dominic pays them very well to protect Elspeth. They would not have wanted to lose his business.”
“Protect Elspeth?” He sat back on his heels. “Why—” He stopped and drew a deep breath. “Later. I’m not interested in anything right now but why the Delaneys allow you to frequent brothels and run around unprotected when you are—” he stopped to change the word—“were as untouched as any of those schoolgirls at Mrs. Alford’s nunnery. They should have guarded you from—”
“Men like you?” she finished calmly.
His dark eyes flashed. “I’m no thief. I don’t rob virtuous women of their purity. How was I to know you were untouched? You talk of whorehouses and bare your body with a boldness I’ve seldom seen from any woman.”
“You did not rob me. Why are you so upset?”
He stared at her in frustration. “Damnation, because you’re not!”
She threw back her head and laughed. “You wish me to weep and wail? Why should I? I enjoyed what you did to me.”
“I know you did,” he muttered. “I’ve never known a woman so responsive. You were …” A firebird soaring, passionate, beautiful. “Why didn’t you fight me? A woman’s life can be ruined by letting herself be seduced.”
“You didn’t seduce me.” She gazed at him with a touch of impatience. “Why do you keep saying that? It was my choice to lie with you tonight, and I will be the one who walks away.”
“Walk away?” His eyes widened in shock. “What in hell are you talking about?”
“Men fornicate with women and leave them with no more thought than if they were flowers they had picked by the roadside. Why should women not do the same?”
“Because that’s not the way of the world. Because women don’t—” he broke off. Womenkind in general might not, but Silver was capable of anything. A sudden searing jealousy tore through him. “I find I don’t like the idea of being discarded so summarily, and I most certainly won’t permit you to go about picking other ‘flowers’ by the wayside.”
“I didn’t say I wished to fornicate with other men,” Silver said. “You’re the first man I’ve desired in that way. Perhaps I will not find another who pleases me.”
“I don’t believe I’ll risk the chance of your discovering one.” My God, the woman was talking about leaving him! Possessiveness, jealousy, outrage, and an odd hurt invaded him. “Now that I’ve shown you how much you enjoy it, I’m sure you’ll want to indulge your appetite to the fullest. You’re the most passionate woman I’ve ever had, and I have no intention of letting you permit any other man to satisfy you.”
“Permit?” Silver asked with dangerous softness.
“You’ll return with me to St. Petersburg. I’ll take very good care of you. I’ll buy you a fine house and jewels fit for an empress.” He paused. “But you’ll belong to no man but me.”
“Or?” she asked curiously. “What if I took a lover?”
He smiled. “I would take great pleasure in emasculating him and then quite probably I would kill him.”
He meant it, Silver realized, gazing at him in bewilderment. There was no question that he would eliminate any man she permitted in her bed. Yes, Nicholas would be as possessive of his mistress as he would his wife. Fierce pain, as intense as it was unexpected, seared her. Why should she feel like this, when she had known there was no question of Nicholas offering her more than this arrangement? Men did not offer half-breeds marriage. “I don’t want your fine house or your jewels. I won’t be your mistress, Nicholas.”
“Oh, but you will.” His smile deepened. “You may not want a house and jewels, but I can give you something you do want very much.” He began to unbutton the shirt he had so recently fastened. “Something you like better than woodsmoke or honeysuckle.” He pushed aside the edges of the shirt to gaze at her. “Or even raspberries.”
Silver felt a flood of heat wash over her, igniting a tingling between her thighs. His eyes were caressing her, moving over her with possessiveness and desire, lingering on her breasts and then moving down to the soft hair guarding her womanhood. The muscles of her stomach clenched and she suddenly couldn’t breathe.
His gaze didn’t lift as he continued softly, “You have a splendid appetite, Silver, and I’ll keep you well fed and purring. You want me right now, don’t you?”
Silver moistened her lips with her tongue. “Yes.”
“Then come here and let me pleasure you.”
She moved the few inches to where he sat, her gaze on the magnificent rigidity of his manhood. Beautiful. Everything about him was beautiful, his face, his body, and most of all the radiantly sensual expression lighting his face.
His hand slowly began petting her. A shiver of excitement went through her as she felt the warm hardness of his palm. “There are many ways I can please your body. Do you like this?”
She nodded jerkil
y.
His fingers moved down and found what he sought. His thumb began a circular, pressing movement.
Her eyes widened. “Nicholas!” She arched toward him, her muscles contracting in agonizing pleasure. “It’s—”
“You like it?”
Hot shudders were shaking her body and she gazed up at him almost blindly. “Yes. Oh, yes. So much.”
“I can see you do.” His gaze was narrowed on her flushed face. “It’s such a little thing and so easy to do. I could do it in the carriage on the way to a ball or behind the bushes in a garden. All you would have to do is lift your skirts and part your legs and say ‘Nicholas, pleasure me.’ ”
She was panting, her head thrown back, her throat arched as waves of pleasure cascaded over her.
“I would never say no,” he whispered. “Because I love to see your face like this. Do you know how beautiful you are?”
She didn’t answer; she couldn’t answer.
“Of course, it might be dangerous to do it in too public a place because I’m quite sure this would follow.” He suddenly lifted her onto his lap, sheathing his manhood within her in one swift plunge. Arranging her legs around his hips, he gazed into her face. “And you would let me. You couldn’t help yourself.” He flexed slowly, pressing her so close she could feel the gentle prickle of his hair against her womanhood. “Any more than I could stop myself from doing it.” His hands cupped her buttocks and squeezed gently. His head bent and she felt his tongue on her nipples.
“Move, please!”
“Soon.” He held her firmly against him, nibbling at her engorged breasts. “I’m trying to make you understand something, Silver.” He bit gently. One hand reached between them and his thumb touched, pressed, rotated while his fingers teased her like hot fluttering butterflies.