I come up sputtering. “I can’t believe you did that,” I say. Then a wave knocks him over, too, and he lands on his butt beside me. He laughs and laughs, until I realize he’s crying. I get up and take his hands, pulling him from the water. “Come on,” I say. “We’re wasting time not being with Mom.”
His eyes meet mine in the waning light. “You’re not angry?”
“I don’t have time to be angry,” I say, jogging backward. Then I call out, “Race you!” and I sprint toward our deck. He comes up right behind me.
“Oh my gosh!” Mom yells as we come through the door. She’s standing at the kitchen counter with Nick and they’re both chopping. Dad and I run to her and we smoosh her between us like she’s the filling of a sandwich. “You’re all wet!” she cries.
Nick throws his head back and laughs.
“Oh, you want to be next?” I taunt. He dodges around the counter and ducks me.
“Go change clothes!” Mom yells, jerking her finger toward the hallway. “Dinner is in five!”
We go down the hallway laughing. I close my door and lean hard against it.
What Dad doesn’t know is that I’d already forgiven her. And him, too.
Nick
It’s nice doing the family thing with the Carrie’s family. Really nice. I used to do this with my parents, and I didn’t realize how much I miss it. Mr. Michaels has grilled some steaks, and he motions for Carrie to follow him outside to check on them. I stand at the counter with Mrs. Michaels and help her arrange a salad. Which means I pretty much just watch her toss it.
“How is Carrie doing, Nick?” she asks.
I jerk my eyes up to her face. She stares at me, her eyes so much like Carrie’s that it’s startling. “She’s struggling,” I say.
She snorts. “Aren’t we all?”
Carrie and Mr. Michaels come back into the house, carrying a plate loaded with steaks and baked potatoes. They’re laughing together, and she looks so damn pretty that I can’t stop staring at her. Mrs. Michaels reaches over and closes my mouth for me. I grin at her and she smiles back. “I’ve always liked you, Nick,” she says.
“I’ve always liked you too, Mrs. Michaels,” I admit.
Her eyes soften. “You look so much like your dad.”
“Sometimes I forget what they looked like. What they sounded like.” I don’t know why I said that.
“I can understand that. I made a series of videos for Carrie for when I’m gone. Sort of a ‘your wedding day’ and a ‘your first baby’ kind of thing. Something she can look at when special days pass by and I’m not there.”
“Does she know about it?”
She shakes her head. “No one does.”
“That was smart of you. I wish I had that.”
She rubs my shoulder. “Your parents’ accident wasn’t exactly something they could plan for.”
Mr. Michaels walks into the kitchen. “What are your plans for college, Nick?” he asks. He bends and kisses Mrs. Michaels on the cheek. She blushes.
“Oh, I’m not going,” I say. I brush them off, because I don’t want to tell them how I want more than anything to go to college. I want to do everything my parents planned for me to do, and they planned for me to be a success.
His brow furrows. “Why not?”
“Too much to do here,” I murmur.
Mrs. Michaels motions everyone to the table and we sit down together. I feel a little out of place, but then Carrie reaches over and squeezes my knee under the table and I feel better immediately. I smile at her, and tangle my fingers up with hers.
Mrs. Michaels insists that I call her Patty. And she tells me to call Mr. Michaels John, but he glowers at me when she says it. I swipe a hand down my face to hide my smile.
Patty spends an hour telling me stories about when Carrie was little, and John chimes in at inappropriate moments and it makes everyone laugh. Carrie fidgets like she’s not quite sure what to do with this new family thing, but she’s enjoying it too, I can tell.
When everyone is done eating, Patty says, “John, we should let the kids do the dishes.” She stretches. “I’m really tired.” She shoots John a loaded glance and this time it’s him who squirms. “You about ready for bed?” she asks him.
He tosses his napkin onto his plate and stands up. “Can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be,” he says. He takes her hand in his and helps her up.
“You’re going to bed together?” Carrie blurts out.
John and Patty look at one another. “We’re really tired,” John says over a laugh. He pulls Patty toward the bedroom, and they close the door behind them amid whispers and giggles.
“Well, that’s just odd,” Carrie says. She stands and stares at the door.
I laugh. “I think it’s sweet.”
She’s quiet as we quickly load the dishwasher and clean up from dinner, but there’s not much to do and we’re done in a matter of minutes. I follow her to the couch. That’s when we hear the soft thump.
“What is that?” Carrie asks.
“Umm…”
“Do you hear that?” she asks. She tiptoes toward the hallway.
“Carrie,” I whisper at her.
“No, really,” she says. “What is that noise?”
Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.
I try not to laugh, but I can’t help it.
She drops her face into her hands and says quietly, “My parents are having sex.”
“Apparently,” I say. I pull her hands down from her face, because her shoulders are shaking, and I think she’s crying. But I quickly realize that the tears are because she’s biting back her laughter.
She jerks her thumb toward the bedroom. “My parents are having sex!” she whisper-yells.
“Sure sounds like it.” I rock back on my heels.
“Like knocking boots.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Really going at it.”
“Yep.”
She giggles. “You want to go sit on the deck?”
Oh, thank God. “Yes, please!” I say quickly.
She walks out the sliding glass door and jumps down from the deck onto the sand. She’s barefoot, so I slip my shoes off too and follow her.
“Hey Nick!” a voice calls from down the beach.
I look over and see a small fire flickering in the sand, and all the Reeds are sitting around it. I wave at them.
“Come join us!” someone calls.
I look at Carrie and she just smiles and shrugs her shoulders. I take her hand and we walk toward the flames.
Paul is sitting with Friday almost in his lap, and he motions for us to take a seat on a spare towel. Carrie sits down. She already knows almost everyone here, except she might not know Reagan, Emily, or Friday, so they introduce her.
Sam walks down from the house, and he’s carrying a guitar in one hand and a bundle in the other. He passes the guitar to Emily, and the bundle he gives to Paul. “Couldn’t sleep, huh?” Paul asks Sam.
“I think he wants some boobie,” Sam says.
“Well, I just happen to have some of that,” Friday says. She takes the baby from him, coos at him for a minute and then adjusts her shirt, cradling him to her. Paul throws a blanket over them and the baby goes still. And so does Friday. She leans against Paul and he turns to kiss her really quickly.
“You got enough boobie to feed ten of those,” Emily chirps.
Friday picks up a marshmallow and throws it at her. Logan catches it and eats it. Friday makes a face at her.
I can’t believe I’m sitting with the Reeds around a campfire. “No cameras?” I ask, looking around.
“We get time off sometimes,” Paul says.
“Where are the kids?” Carrie asks, looking into their faces.
“The good kids are sleeping. And the other one is on the boobie,” Matt says.
This time, Paul throws the marshmallow and it hits Matt in the middle of his forehead. Logan catches it on the ricochet and pops it in his mouth. He shrugs when Matt grouses at him
.
“We get a nanny as part of the production crew when we travel. It’s kind of nice at night when they’re sleeping,” Paul explains. He looks fondly down at his own. “Or not sleeping, as the case may be.”
Sky is sitting with her legs stretched out in front of her toward the fire, and Matt’s head is in her lap. “How’s your mom feeling?” he asks Carrie. Sky drags her fingers down the length of his long hair, and he looks so content.
“Better,” she says. “Thank you for your help the other night. And all of you for moving furniture.”
I bet she’s wishing they’d tightened up those headboard bolts right about now.
“Don’t worry about it,” Matt says with a breezy wave. “I’m glad she’s feeling better.”
Emily starts to strum her guitar and everyone goes quiet. I can’t believe I’m sitting here listening to Emily Reed play her guitar. She’s famous for when she was playing with Fallen from Zero. Then she wrote a song that was supposed to be a fluke, but it took off and hit the charts a couple of weeks ago. It’s a beautiful song about love and loss and finding where you’re supposed to be.
“I’m taking requests,” she says.
She runs through a couple of upbeat songs that I know, and she does her single, and I have to pinch myself because I still can’t believe where I am and what I’m doing.
“Hey Nick,” Pete calls out.
“Yeah,” I reply. I can barely see him over the flames, but I know he’s there.
“Do you know any preachers?”
The guitar and all the people go quiet.
“A few, why?” I reply. I immediately think of Patty’s funeral, and I hope to God he’s not going to ask about that.
“Well, Reagan and I were thinking we might like to get married on the beach while we’re here.” He waits.
All the Reeds erupt at once, jumping to their feet to hug Pete and Reagan. “Are you serious?” Paul asks.
“Completely,” Pete says. He sits down with Reagan again and looks into her eyes. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
“Then you two can have some babies too!” Sam cries, like he’s faking excitement. Then he pretends to heave.
Reagan snorts. “How much have you had to drink?” she asks. “No.”
“Oh, come on,” Sam says. “You know you want kids too. Rug rats. Crumb snatchers. Diaper fillers.”
“Maybe someday,” Pete says, looking into her eyes. She nods at him and my heart goes pitter-patter for them. I want that look. I want that life.
“I just happen to know a preacher who owes me a favor,” I tell him.
“Speaking of kids…” Matt says.
Everyone goes quiet.
“No freaking way,” Sam breathes.
Matt lays a hand on Sky’s stomach. “Yes, way,” he says.
Carrie shakes her head and laughs as they do the congrats thing again.
“You figured out where those things are coming from yet?” Paul asks as he sits back down.
Sky blushes and Matt laughs. “Yep.”
Sam mocks Paul’s tone. “Do you need to get a condom from the drawer?”
Pete deepens his voice too. “You need to wrap that shit up.” He makes a circle with his finger in the air.
Matt laughs. “Okay, that’s enough,” he warns. “We know where they’re coming from.” He looks at Sky. “You can use me any time you want to get pregnant, baby,” he says. She shoves his chest when he pulls her down so he can kiss her.
Paul loads up a marshmallow stick and hands it to me. I offer it to Carrie and she nods. She roasts the marshmallow and pulls it back when it’s a glowing ember. She blows it, grinning at me over the top of it.
She’s happy right this minute. And I can’t help but think she’s the prettiest girl I have ever seen. And I don’t want to be anywhere but here, unless she leaves. And then I want to go with her. I’m referring to the campfire. I think.
Carrie
I can’t believe how nice they all are. They have taken to Nick like he’s extended family. And me, too, for that matter. Sam and Pete just got into a wrestling match in the sand and Nick pulled me back to lean against his chest, getting me out of their way, but I think he just wanted an excuse to put his arms around me. It feels good and safe when he’s holding me, so I lie back and look up into the dark sky, with my head on his shoulder.
I narrow my eyes when I see two forms walking up out of the shadows. “Amber?” I ask.
“Carrie?” she says. She’s walking hand in hand with Seth, Matt’s oldest son. She plops down next to me, and Seth sits next to her.
“Hey Carrie,” Seth says.
“Where have you guys been?” Matt asks.
“We walked down to the pier,” Seth says. He looks up sheepishly, and Amber blushes. I can see the telltale color of her cheeks.
“We have to talk tomorrow,” I whisper to Amber. She nods and smiles. I see Seth’s fingertips overlap hers in the sand and it makes me feel all warm inside.
“You feel like walking to the pier?” Nick asks me. I nod and let him pull me up, wiping the sand off my butt as I stand up.
“Do your parents know where you are?” Paul asks me.
I nod. “They’re a little busy,” I say. I look toward the house and bite my tongue, because I don’t want to say any more.
Matt laughs. “Good for them.”
“Don’t be gone too long,” Paul says.
Nick looks at me and grins. “Yes, sir,” Nick says with a laugh.
Paul shrugs. “I can’t help it. I’m a dad with a daughter.”
“We won’t be gone long,” I tell him. I tug on Nick’s fingertips and walk toward the beach.
“I can’t believe we just sat around a campfire with the Reeds,” Nick says.
“You’re a fan, huh?” I look up at him. He still looks a little star-struck.
“The biggest,” he says. “They’re just like they are on the show, but better.”
“They’re pretty nice.”
“Nice?” he cries. “They’re amazing! Emily Reed just played a song for us.”
“I had no idea that’s who she was until she started to sing.”
“Then you knew?”
“I’d have to live under a rock not to know that song.”
He laughs. Then he gets quiet. We walk all the way to the pier with nothing but the waves and the wind talking.
Suddenly he turns to me and takes my face in his hands. I startle a little, but he just holds me tenderly. “I want to kiss you,” he says.
“You totally should.”
“But I don’t think I can.”
My heart stops beating for a moment. “What?” I ask. I cover his hands with mine.
“You’re going to leave me eventually,” he says. “You have to go to school, and I’m not going. I’ll be devastated. I’m not sure I can take losing someone I care about as much as I care about you.”
“You could come and visit.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t. I have too much going on here.”
“So that’s it?” I ask. My gut is in my throat.
“I think we should be friends,” he whispers.
“I think we should be friends who kiss,” I whisper back playfully. But I know he’s serious. He’s telling me no.
“Can friends kiss?” he asks. His eyes search my face in the moonlight.
I step onto my tiptoes and touch my lips to his. He hesitates for a second, and I worry that I’ve made a mistake. He kisses me, his lips tender and soft at first, but then he growls and wraps his arms around me. His hands slide under my shirt and tickle up and down my back as his lips ravage mine. Greedy, wonderful fingers slip into the waistband of my shorts and splay across my bottom, and then he jerks me against his hardness. I can feel every inch of him and tell how much he wants me, but he lifts his head and buries his face in my neck.
“Don’t make me fall in love with you,” he says quietly.
I look up and brush a lock of hair from his for
ehead. “I’ll do my best.”
We walk back to my house hand in hand, absorbing the quiet. The wind tickles my skin almost as much as his proximity does. We wave to the Reeds as we walk by and he takes me all the way to my door. He kisses me softly and quickly, then stops to take a deep breath by my hair. I can feel the tension in his arms and I want to hold him. But something tells me he doesn’t want to be held.
“Good night,” he says.
“Night,” I reply. He stands there while I open the door, and then I see him walk off into the darkness.
I find Mom sitting on the couch when I go inside, and she grins at me. “So, did he kiss you?” she asks. I remember how mean I was to her the last time she asked me and I regret it.
I sit down next to her and let my shoulder touch hers. “Yeah, he kissed me.”
She laughs. “Tell me about it,” she says.
We stay up talking most of the night. Until morning breaks over the ocean and Dad comes to take her back to bed. I watch them walk away together and gratitude swells within me for the gifts I have been given.
Nick
I spent today fishing with John. Patty tells me to call him John, but he scowls at me every time she says it. So I call him John in my head and Mr. Michaels when I’m with him.
Actually, John was fishing and I was working. I have a friend who owns a fishing boat, and sometimes I go out and help him. I convinced him to let John go with us. He had a good day, I think, but now he’s looking at his watch and I think he’s ready to head back.
The Michaels have been here for two weeks now and Patty is starting to get thinner and thinner. She’s finding it harder to keep down the protein shakes they give her, and she ends up throwing them up more than she takes them in. Sometimes she hides it, but I think it’s getting harder for her.
Every night, Patty and Carrie walk down to the lighthouse. They sit at the base of it and talk. But last night Patty was too tired to walk, so they didn’t go.
I followed them one night, just so I could see what they do when they go there. They sit at the base of the lighthouse in a sandy spot, and they lie down side by side and stare up at the stars. With Carrie’s hand clasped in hers, Patty talks. Carrie talks. They talk to one another. Then they walk back, and Patty and John go to bed. Together.