Page 9 of Maddy's a Baddy


  Brute pulled Pissy away from the circle of snakes, embraced her, and consoled her. "There, there. It'll be better. Karita has learned her lesson. You'll see." Then Brute took Pissy back to the cottage, leaving Karita wailing inside a circle of supposedly venomous snakes.

  It took less than ten minutes in the cottage for Brute to satisfy not only his own sexual cravings but Pissy's as well. She was still extremely angry but feeling guilty as well for hitting Karita. When Brute emerged from the cottage to bring Karita back into safety, she had stopped wailing at least. But she was vibrating in fear on the rocks. "Karita, it's not safe for you to be outside," Brute warned. "You should stay inside unless Pissy or I can be with you. Don't leave the house without us."

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  Chapter 19

  It was the third week of February. February 21 to be exact. Yolanda had put up with Wizard hiding in the wilderness long enough. She went to her mom for advice.

  "He's still working?" Granny asked.

  "As far as we know. Hank says that all the supplies are arriving on time; new supplies are being ordered. The chocolate industry is progressing. The last super transport is being finished. Everything in Wizard's business appears to be fine, but he's not talking to any family member. Winnie tried and didn't even get a response. Both Lucas and Theo said that Wizard had acted strangely when he visited them. Something may have happened between them, but they're not saying anything."

  "Did you talk to Dreamer?"

  "No. I believe that she's given up waiting for Wizard to forgive her. I didn't want to open old wounds."

  "Probably best," Granny agreed. "Who is he closest to?"

  "Other than Dreamer, that would be Hank. But Wizard has snarled back at him."

  "What about Doc?" Granny asked.

  "I don't know. Perhaps. What do you think?"

  The Doc they were talking about was whittling on the sofa next to Granny. He was letting the shavings drop right on the floor in front of Yolanda who was squirming at the sight of the floor getting messier and messier.

  "I'm sitting right here, you know." Doc said.

  "Be quiet, dear," Granny replied. "We're talking. Yolanda, what do you think?"

  "Perhaps. He could drop in unannounced. Perhaps a pretend fishing trip?"

  "Might work."

  "I'm still sitting right here in front of you."

  They both ignored him.

  "I'll talk with Doc. He's underfoot a lot now; just sits around whittling. It would do both of us good if he were on a fishing trip. I think he'll agree."

  "OK. Thanks, Granny."

  After Yolanda had gone, Doc asked. "What was that all about? Talking around me."

  "It's not nice to agitate Yolanda, dear. She can't help being a neat freak. You're going on a fishing trip."

  "I gathered that. Do I have to catch any fish?"

  "You have to catch Wizard and bring him home."

  "Do I have to eat him?"

  "No. Yolanda will take care of that."

  # # # # # # # #

  "Where are you going," Nary asked Dreamer.

  "To the gym," Dreamer answered. It was 3 p.m. and she always left the ship at that time.

  "What do you do there?"

  "Practice basketball. I'll work out with Lylah for two hours, take a break for supper, and then practice with the university team for three hours."

  "What are hours?"

  Nobody in the family had realized that Nary didn't have any concept of time. She had never asked what hours were and so, they just assumed she knew. But how would she? There were no clocks on the island. Any talk about time that she might have had with Marie would have referred to the location of the sun or the moon. Dreamer explained about hours and how many there were in a day. She didn't realize that Nary couldn't understand the explanation because she didn't know how to count. Dreamer finished by saying, "I'll stay at the gym until 9 p.m."

  "Will Theo be there?"

  Theo had left an hour earlier after helping out with the research on the judge's eldest sister. His practice schedule was somewhat different. "At the university, yes. But we use different gyms. Why?"

  "He didn't want me to come with him."

  "Only university team players are allowed in the practices. They're secret. Do you know what a secret is?"

  "I do. I have a secret."

  "Really. What is it?"

  "It's a secret. I can't tell you. Is your practice a secret?"

  "Not the first part. Would you like to watch?"

  "Sure. I'm tired of this picture book. It's boring."

  "Watching me practice basketball could be boring too."

  "Anything is better than what I'm doing now."

  # # # # # # # #

  Maddy had reached that same conclusion yesterday, although she wouldn't have expressed it so clearly. Today, she had thought and thought. Anything was better than living with Brute and Pissy. Maddy was ready.

  Sitting at the door of the cottage was her backpack – the one that Pililiani's friend had given her. In it, she had put her running shoes and an extra set of everything that she was currently wearing. The pack also held a couple of felt pens and the story that Pililiani had written for her. That paper was safely hidden inside the extra sweater in case the backpack got wet from all the slushy rain they were getting. The warm winter coat was hanging on the peg by the front door and her warm winter boots were underneath. A warm woolen hat that would cover her ears was also there. She'd grab them on the way out. Everything Maddy had packed was warm. She had learned about cold the last time she had escaped. There was room in the backpack for some food. She'd put that in later.

  Brute was lying in the recliner chair in the living room making snoring noises. Brute had been praying a lot that afternoon. After he had finished off the sixth bottle of prayer juice, Maddy knew that he'd be sleeping soon. She had watched and waited for the snoring noises. From where he was sleeping, Brute couldn't see the front door.

  Pissy was in the back of the house doing laundry. She couldn't see the front door either. When Pissy did the laundry, she liked to stay in the laundry room the whole time. Brute didn't like it when she prayed to his god, so Pissy made sure that he didn't know that she snuck prayer juice into the laundry room. Maddy knew. She saw everything.

  Maddy tip-toed in her warm socks to the kitchen, opened a drawer, and pulled out the metal thing that Pissy used to pull meat out of the frying pan. She tip-toed to the front door, slipped into her boots and her coat, lifted the small empty backpack that Pissy had given her, opened the door, and left – without permission even.

  # # # # # # # #

  "Hailing the camp," Doc called. "Permission to come down?" Wandering unannounced into a camp in the wilderness was against the Hunting God's rules. Killing hunters was a no-no. Killing other creatures was a yes-yes.

  "Is that you, Doc?" Wizard called back.

  "Yah. On my way through. Thought I'd say hello."

  "Come down." Wizard actually sounded eager to see him.

  ...

  Doc looked around. "Nice camp," he praised. "Looks like you have everything you need."

  "I planned it out before I came," Wiz admitted. On the planning front, Wiz was even better than Maddy. "You knew I was here, right?"

  "Yah. Granny said I had to drop in to make sure that you were OK. I told her that you'd be messaging us if you weren't. Women! Sometimes they worry too much."

  "Yeah. Winnie's been bugging me too."

  "Just ignore them. That's what I do. I won't stay long. I'm going up to the Diamond Lakes system further north. Good fishing there. Had to get out of the compound. I was receiving too much grief about my whittling."

  "Granny doesn't like you whittling?"

  "Sometimes. Says I leave a mess. Who cares about a mess, I say. Men don't. Women do."

  "Yeah, that's my feeling too."

  Wizard's camp was immaculate. He took after his mother, but Doc wouldn't mention that.


  "What's that on your lip, Wiz?"

  "Moustache. Thought I'd grow one."

  "Nice. Seems to be coming in fine. Going for a beard too?"

  "Yup. Been working on that since I got here. Not much happening yet. But my face is itchy so I know it's coming in. You ever grow a beard, Doc?"

  "I did when I was about your age. I didn't have much facial hair back then and you're right about the itchiness. Drove me crazy. I gave it up when a very special person in my life discouraged me. She said I was more handsome without it."

  "You had a special person when you were my age?"

  "Yeah. Melissa's grandmother. Did I ever tell you about her?"

  "No."

  "No time like the present. Mind if I sit down?"

  # # # # # # # #

  Back in the gym, Nary was tired of sitting down. Dreamer and her coach Lylah had been on the shiny floor a long time. Lylah had been bouncing the ball and running around with it. It was called dribbling. Dreamer was supposed to stop her from dribbling into a big circle on the floor and banging the ball on the floor right in the middle of the circle. Dreamer couldn't stop her and was becoming frustrated.

  "You have to move your feet, Dreamer. Don't reach with your hands."

  "I'm trying, Lylah. I'm just not quick enough."

  Nary had heard enough. She walked onto the court and stood in front of the blonde girl. "Why are you making my sister unhappy?" she asked.

  "Nary," Dreamer put a hand on Nary's arm. "I'm alright. I'm having trouble learning something. Lylah is helping me."

  "Are you unhappy because you can't catch her?"

  "Yes. I'm supposed to stop her from dribbling into the circle, but I can't."

  "Why don't you just do this?" Nary grabbed Lylah by the waist and hoisted her onto her shoulder."

  "Hey!" Lylah squawked. "Put me down. No grabbing."

  "Is that true, Dreamer? No grabbing?"

  "Put me down!"

  "Nary, put Lylah down. You're not allowed to grab a person in basketball and put them on your shoulder. You have to shuffle your feet sideways so that you're always in front of the person dribbling the ball. You try it."

  So Nary did.

  "I'm still up on a bony shoulder. Put me down or I'll start clawing."

  "No, Lylah. Don't say anything about claws. Just stay there for a minute. This is my sister, Nary. Don't claw her, Lylah. You will not like what happens if you claw her."

  Lylah recognized the urgency in Dreamer's voice, but couldn't understand the reason. But she did as she was asked. She was hanging like a wet bag of sand off Nary's shoulder. Nary's left hand was holding her in position while she walked around watching Dreamer shuffle. This was one powerful girl. Perhaps imitating a wet sack of sand was a good idea.

  "That's not so hard."

  "You wanna try it? Put me down."

  So Nary did. Dreamer explained the rules. "No grabbing with your hands. No blocking the dribbler with your arms. Keep your hands close to your body. Lylah can't throw the ball into the center of the circle. She has to dribble the ball by your body. You can't just stand on the circle. You have to stay within reaching distance of her. She only has twenty seconds to get by you. You do the counting."

  "What's a second?"

  Lylah looked up sharply at that.

  "It's how long a person takes to take a breath. This is a second." And Dreamer demonstrated. "You count to twenty now and I'll tell you how close you were to right time."

  "I don't know how to count to twenty."

  If Lylah hadn't been looking incredulously at Nary already, she was now.

  "I'll count for you. You stand here with the ball in your hand. When you're ready, give the ball to Lylah and she'll try to get by you."

  Nary did and Lylah did.

  "That was four seconds."

  "She's allowed to pretend to go one way, but go the other way instead?"

  "Yes."

  "Let's try again."

  "Eight seconds."

  "She's allowed to put the ball between her own feet?"

  "Yes."

  "Let's try again."

  "Fifteen seconds."

  "She's allowed to pull the ball around her back?"

  "Yes."

  "Let's try again."

  "That was twenty seconds, Nary. You won."

  "That wasn't so hard. Deer are quicker."

  "Hey! Was that a slam?"

  "No, Lylah. Nary wasn't insulting you."

  "That was fun. How about Lylah and I play a different game?"

  "What game?" Lylah was still reflecting on what had happened in the previous game. Nary had played her so tightly that they might have been wearing each other's shirt.

  "How about I try and push Lylah into the corner over there while she's dribbling. If I pin her into the corner, she has to give me the ball."

  "No way you can do that."

  ...

  "Holy kangahoopdedoodle," Lylah panted.

  Nary was holding the ball and smelling it. "Meat?" she asked Dreamer.

  "No, Nary. Not meat. Don't eat it."

  "Who are you?" Lylah asked.

  "Nary nary quite contrary." Nary replied. "I have a last name too."

  "And that would be?"

  "How does your garden grow?"

  "With silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row."

  "You know the story!"

  "I do. Girls, we have to talk."

  "I need meat, Dreamer."

  "Let's grab a burger, Lylah. Nary is on a high protein diet."

  # # # # # # # #

  Pissy finished placing the burgers onto the plates on the table. Everything was ready. Brute was sitting at the table, impatient as ever. Pissy had a rule. We eat together as a family. Karita had been called but she wasn't at the table. Pissy called her again, but with an edge to it. "Karita. Supper is ready. Don't make us wait."

  She heard a shriek in response. Then another.

  Pissy ran down the hallway to Karita's bedroom. Karita was outside in the hallway, shrieking, hopping up and down in fear, and pointing. Pissy looked at her legs but couldn't see under the warm jeans that Karita was wearing.

  "What is it?"

  Karita continued to point into her bedroom and the shrieking stopped. Other kinds of noises emerged. Like she was trying to say something.

  Pissy went in the bedroom and looked around. Nothing. She turned back to look at Karita. "There's nothing here."

  Karita got down on her knees and pretended to look underneath something. Pissy failed to notice that everything Karita had on was too warm for wearing inside the cottage. She did notice that there was a snake under the bed.

  "Brute! Brute! There's a snake is in Karita's bedroom!" What she didn't know was that the snake had been collected by a pair of kitchen tongs, dropped into a backpack, brought inside the house, pulled out of the backpack by the same set of kitchen utensils, and tonged under the bed.

  "Somebody must have left the front door open again," Brute observed as he came into the bedroom.

  "You'll have to pull it out. I can't reach it."

  While Pissy watched, Brute lay on his belly and used a hanger from Karita's closet to fish for the snake.

  Maddy slammed her bedroom door shut and went to the kitchen. She liked hamburgers. She'd escape tomorrow when it was light. Too bad for Pissy and Brute that there wasn't a knob on the inside of that door.

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  Chapter 20

  While Maddy is sleeping on the sofa in the living room, let's look at what's happening in Wizard's wilderness camp during the evening of February 21. Doc and Wizard had caught enough fish for an evening meal as well as for the following breakfast. They hadn't talked much while they were doing that – Doc said that fishing was intended to be a quiet activity. They did talk long enough for Wizard to invite him to stay the night at the camp.

  They were relaxing around a campfire that was bright enough to see the gloom of each o
ther's bodies, but not much else. The topic of conversation had shifted back to body hair – Wizard observing that his dad, Wolf, and Lucas seemed to have a lot of it. Wizard admitted that he had no hair on his chest and his facial hair was disturbingly slow to come in.

  "Wizard, you keep mentioning real men. Are you saying that real men have lots of body hair and, if you don't have body hair on your chest, you're not a real man?"

  "Well, no. But women seem to like men who are hairy, strong, and fearless."

  "Real men are that way?"

  "Yeah. Sure. Lucas is that way. He doesn't have any problem attracting women."

  "And real men would probably be the type that would go to bars, swear a lot, hang out with other real men, and have a good time?"

  "Yah."

  "And you thought that if you grew a beard that would make you more masculine, and then it would be easier to do the other things that real men do?"

  "Yah. Growing the beard might give me more male hormones."

  "So I happen to know how real men live – having been around some a long time ago. Why don't I give you some practice in being one of them? You'd be ready when your beard comes in."

  "You'd do that for me?"

  "Sure. Here's the first thing to learn. You have to drink like a real man. Drink beer out of a bottle, for sure. No beer in glasses. No sissy drinks with umbrellas either."

  "I don't know anything about drinking."

  "You don't have any beer bottles in camp, but we have some water bottles. We can use those. The key to being a real man is to drink the beer as quickly as you can without actually tasting it. The faster you can inhale it, the sooner you can start on the second bottle. The more you drink, and the quicker you do it, the sooner you'll be drunk and that's when the real fun starts."

  "Got it."

  "You have to take the bottle, tip your head back, and pour it down your throat. Don't slow down to swallow it. Just open up your throat and fire away. It's called chugging. Here's a full water bottle. Give it a shot."

  Wizard lasted about two seconds before he choked and spewed water all over himself. He had to make two circles around the fire before he could stop coughing. "That's harder than it looks."

  "True. But with a lot of practice, you'll become good at it. Real men get drunk just about every night, so you'll want to put in some hours learning to chug a drink. You're probably allergic to alcohol so you won't have to drink as much as other men to get drunk."