Mortmain said nothing to that, only cocked his head and squinted at her, like a sailor squinting at the horizon. "My condolences on the death of your brother. I never meant for that to happen."
Tessa felt her mouth twist into a terrible shape. It had been two months since Nate had died in her arms, but she had not forgotten, or forgiven. "I don't want your pity. Or your good wishes. You made him a tool of yours, and then he died. It was your fault, as surely as if you had shot him in the street."
"I suppose it would avail little to point out that he was the one who sought me out."
"He was just a boy," Tessa said. She wanted to sink to her knees, wanted to pound against the invisible barrier with her fists, but she held herself upright and cold. "He was not even twenty."
Mortmain slid his hands into his pockets. "Do you know what it was like for me, when I was a boy?" he said, in as calm a tone as if he had been seated beside her at a dinner party and forced to make conversation.
Tessa thought of the images she had seen in Aloysius Starkweather's mind.
The man was tall, broad-shouldered--and as green-skinned as a lizard. His hair was black. The child he held by the hand, by contrast, seemed as normal as a child could be--small, chubby-fisted, pink-skinned.
Tessa knew the man's name, because Starkweather knew it.
John Shade.
Shade hoisted the child up onto his shoulders as through the door of the house spilled a number of odd-looking metal creatures, like a child's jointed dolls, but human-size, and with skin made of shining metal. The creatures were featureless. Though, oddly, they wore clothes--the rough workman's coveralls of a Yorkshire farmer on some, and on others plain muslin dresses. The automatons joined hands and began to sway as if they were at a country dance. The child laughed and clapped his hands.
"Look well on this, my son," said the green-skinned man, "for one day I shall rule a clockwork kingdom of such beings, and you shall be its prince."
"I know your adoptive parents were warlocks," she said. "I know that they cared for you. I know that your father invented the clockwork creatures with which you are so enamored."
"And you know what happened to them."
--a room torn apart, cogs and cams and gears and ripped metal everywhere, fluid leaking as black as blood, and the green-skinned man and blue-haired woman lying dead among the ruins--
Tessa looked away.
"Let me tell you about my childhood," Mortmain said. "Adoptive parents, you call them, but they were as much my parents as any amount of blood could make them. They raised me up with care and love, just as yours did you." He gestured toward the fireplace, and Tessa realized with a dull shock that the portraits that hung on either side were portraits of her own parents: her fair-haired mother, and her thoughtful-looking father with his brown eyes and tie askew. "And then they were killed by Shadowhunters. My father wanted to create these beautiful automatons, these clockwork creatures, as you call them. They would be the greatest machines ever invented, he dreamed, and they would protect Downworlders against the Shadowhunters who routinely murdered and stole from them. You saw the spoils in Starkweather's Institute." He spat the last words. "You saw pieces of my parents. He kept my mother's blood in a jar."
And the remains of warlocks. Mummified taloned hands, like Mrs. Black's. A stripped skull, utterly de-fleshed, human-looking save that it had tusks instead of teeth. Vials of sludgy-looking blood.
Tessa swallowed. My mother's blood in a jar. She could not say she did not understand his rage. And yet--she thought of Jem, his parents dying in front of him, his own life destroyed, and yet he had never sought revenge. "Yes, that was horrible," Tessa said. "But it does not excuse the things you've done."
A flicker of something deep in his eyes: rage, quickly tamped down. "Let me tell you what I've done," he said. "I have created an army. An army that, once the final piece of the puzzle is in place, will be invincible."
"And the final piece of the puzzle--"
"Is you," said Mortmain.
"You say that over and over, and yet you refuse to explain it," Tessa said. "You demand my cooperation and yet you tell me nothing. You have me imprisoned here, sir, but you cannot force my speech with you, or my willingness if I choose not to give it--"
"You are half-Shadowhunter, half-demon," Mortmain said. "That is the first thing you should know."
Tessa, already half-turned away from him, froze. "That is not possible. The offspring of Shadowhunters and demons are stillborn."
"Yes, they are," he said. "They are. The blood of a Shadowhunter, the runes on the body of a Shadowhunter, are death to a warlock child in the womb. But your mother was not Marked."
"My mother was not a Shadowhunter!" Tessa looked wildly to the portrait of Elizabeth Gray over the fireplace. "Or are you saying she lied to my father, lied to everyone all her life--"
"She did not know," said Mortmain. "The Shadowhunters did not know it. There was no one to tell her. My father built your clockwork angel, you know. It was meant to be a gift for my mother. It contains within it a bit of the spirit of an angel, a rare thing, something he had carried with him since the Crusades. The mechanism itself was meant to be tuned to her life, so that every time her life was threatened the angel would intervene to protect her. However, my father never had a chance to finish it. He was murdered first." Mortmain began to pace. "My parents were not singled out for murder, of course. Starkweather and his kind delighted in slaughtering Downworlders--they grew rich off the spoils--and would take the slightest excuse to bring violence against them. For that he was hated by the Downworlder community. It was the faeries of the countryside who helped me escape when my parents were killed, and who hid me until the Shadowhunters stopped looking for me." He took a shuddering breath. "Years later, when they decided to have their revenge, I helped them. Institutes are protected against the ingress of Downworlders, but not against mundanes, and not, of course, against automatons."
He smiled a terrible smile.
"It was I, with the help of one of my father's inventions, who crept into the York Institute and switched the baby in the crib there for one of mundane descent. Starkweather's granddaughter, Adele."
"Adele," Tessa whispered. "I saw a portrait of her." A very young girl with long, fair hair, dressed in an old-fashioned child's dress, a great ribbon surmounting her small head. Her face was thin and pale and sickly, but her eyes were bright.
"She died when the first runes were put on her," said Mortmain with relish. "Died screaming, as so many Downworlders had before at the hands of Shadowhunters. Now they had killed one they had come to love. A fitting retribution."
Tessa stared at him in horror. How could anyone think that to die in agony was fitting retribution for an innocent child? She thought of Jem again, his hands gentle on his violin.
"Elizabeth, your mother, grew up not knowing she was a Shadowhunter. No runes were given to her. I followed her progress, of course, and when she married Richard Gray, I made sure I employed him. I believed that the lack of runes on your mother meant that she could conceive a child who was half-demon, half-Shadowhunter, and to test that theory I sent a demon to her in the shape of your father. She never knew the difference."
Only the emptiness in Tessa's stomach kept her from being sick. "You--did what--to my mother? A demon? I am half-demon?"
"He was a Greater Demon, if that comforts you. Most of them were angels once. He was fair enough in his own aspect." Mortmain smirked. "Before your mother became pregnant, I had worked for years to finish my father's clockwork angel. I finished it, and after you were conceived, tuned it to your life. My greatest invention."
"But why would my mother be willing to wear it?"
"To save you," said Mortmain. "Your mother realized that something was wrong when she became pregnant. To carry a warlock child is not like carrying a human child. I came to her then and gave her the clockwork angel. I told her that wearing it would save her child's life. She believed me. I was not lying. You are
immortal, girl, but you are not invulnerable. You can be killed. The angel is tuned to your life; it is designed to save you if you are dying. It may have saved you a hundred times before you were ever born, and it's saved you since. Think of the times you have been close to death. Think of the way it intervened."
Tessa thought back--the way her angel had flown at the automaton choking her, had fended off the blades of the creature that had attacked her near Ravenscar Manor, had kept her from being dashed to pieces on the rocks of the ravine. "But it did not save me from torture, nor injury."
"No. For those are part of the human condition."
"So is death," said Tessa. "I am not human, and you let the Dark Sisters torture me. I could never forgive you for that. Even if you convinced me my brother's death was his fault, that Thomas's death was justified, that your hatred was reasonable, I could never forgive you for that."
Mortmain lifted the box at his feet and upended it. There was a rattling crash as cogs fell from it--cogs and cams and gears, sheared-off bits of metal smeared with black fluid, and lastly, bouncing atop the rest of the rubbish like a child's red rubber ball, a severed head.
Mrs. Black's.
"I destroyed her," he said. "For you. I wished to show you I am sincere, Miss Gray."
"Sincere in what?" Tessa demanded. "Why did you do all this? Why did you create me?"
His lips twitched slightly; it was not a smile, not really. "For two purposes. The first is so that you could bear children."
"But warlocks cannot ..."
"No," said Mortmain. "But you are no ordinary warlock. In you the blood of demons and the blood of angels has fought its own war in Heaven, and the angels have been victorious. You are not a Shadowhunter, but you are not a warlock, either. You are something new, something entirely other. Shadowhunters," he spat. "All Shadowhunter and demon hybrids die, and the Nephilim are proud of it, glad that their blood will never be filthied, their lineage tainted by magic. But you. You can do magic. You can have children like any other woman. Not for some years yet, but when you reach your full maturity. The greatest warlocks alive have assured me of it. Together we will start a new race, with the Shadowhunters' beauty and with no warlock mark. It will be a race that will break the Shadowhunters' arrogance by replacing them on this earth."
Tessa's legs gave out. She slumped to the floor, her dressing gown pooling around her like black water. "You--you want to use me to breed your children?"
Now he did grin. "I am not a man without honor," he said. "I offer you marriage. I always planned that." He gestured at the pitiful pile of ragged metal and flesh that had been Mrs. Black. "If I can have your willing participation, I would prefer it. And I can promise I shall deal thus with all your enemies."
My enemies. She thought of Nate, his hand closing on hers as he died, bloody, in her lap. She thought of Jem again, the way he never railed against his fate but faced it down bravely; she thought of Charlotte, who wept over Jessamine's death, though Jessie had betrayed her; and she thought of Will, who had laid down his heart for her and Jem to walk upon because he loved them more than he loved himself.
There was human goodness in the world, she thought--all caught up with desires and dreams, regrets and bitterness, resentments and powers, but it was there, and Mortmain would never see it.
"You will never understand," she said. "You say that you build, that you invent, but I know an inventor--Henry Branwell--and you are nothing like him. He brings things to life; you just destroy. And now you bring me another dead demon, as if it were flowers rather than more death. You have no feelings, Mr. Mortmain, no empathy for anyone. If I had not known it before, it would have been made abundantly clear when you tried to use James Carstairs's illness to force me to come here. Though he is dying because of you, he wouldn't allow me to come--wouldn't take your yin fen. That's how good people behave."
She saw the look on his face. Disappointment. It was only there for a moment, though, before it was wiped away with a shrewd look. "Wouldn't allow you to come?" he said. "So I did not misjudge you; you would have done it. Would have come to me, here, out of love."
"Not love for you."
"No," he said thoughtfully, "not for me," and he drew from his pocket an object that Tessa recognized immediately.
She stared at the watch he held out to her, dangling on its gold chain. It was clearly unwound. The hands had long ago stopped spinning, the time seemingly frozen at midnight. The initials J.T.S. were carved on the back in elegant script.
"I said there were two reasons I created you," he said. "This is the second. There are shape-shifters in the world: demons and magicians who can take on the appearance of others. But only you can truly become someone else. This watch was my father's. John Thaddeus Shade. I beg of you to take this watch and Change into my father so I may speak with him one more time. If you do that, I will send all the yin fen I have in my possession--and it is a considerable amount--to James Carstairs."
"He will not take it," Tessa said immediately.
"Why not?" His tone was reasonable. "You are no longer a condition of the drug. It is a gift, freely given. It would be foolish to throw it away, and avail nothing. Whereas by doing this small thing for me, you may well save his life. What do you say to that, Tessa Gray?"
Will. Will, wake up.
It was Tessa's voice, unmistakably, and it brought Will bolt upright in the saddle. He caught at Balios's mane to steady himself and looked around blearily.
Green, gray, blue. The vista of Welsh countryside spread out before him. He had passed Welshpool and the England-Wales border sometime around dawn. He remembered little of his journey, only a continuous, tortuous progression of places: Norton, Atcham, Emstrey, Weeping Cross, diverting himself and his horse around Shrewsbury, and finally, finally the border and Welsh hills in the distance. They had been ghostly in the morning light, everything shrouded in mist that had burned off slowly as the sun had risen overhead.
He guessed he was somewhere near Llangadfan. It was a pretty road, laid over an old Roman byway, but almost empty of habitation apart from the occasional farm, and it seemed endlessly long, longer than the gray sky stretching overhead. At the Cann Office Hotel he had forced himself to stop and take some food, but only for moments. The journey was what mattered.
Now that he was in Wales, he could feel it--the draw in his blood toward the place where he had been born. Despite all Cecily's words, he had not felt the connection in him until now--breathing Welsh air, seeing the Welsh colors: the green of hills, gray of slate and sky, the pallor of whitewashed stone houses, the ivory dots of sheep against the grass. Pine and oak trees were dark emerald in the distance, higher up, but closer to the road the vegetation grew green-gray and ochre.
As he moved farther into the heart of the country, the soft green rolling hills grew starker, the road steeper, and the sun began to sink toward the rim of the distant mountains. He knew where he was now, knew when he passed into the Dyfi Valley, and the mountains in front of him thrust up, stark and ragged. The peak of Car Afron was on his left, a tumble of gray slate and shingle like broken gray spiderweb across its side. The road was steep and long, and as Will urged Balios up it, he slumped in the saddle and, against his will, drifted out of consciousness. He dreamed of Cecily and Ella running up and down hills not unlike these, calling after him, Will! Come and run with us, Will! And he dreamed of Tessa and her hands held out for him, and he knew he could not stop, could not stop until he reached her. Even if she never looked at him like that in waking life, even if that softness in her eyes was for someone else. And sometimes, as now, his hand would slip into his pocket and close around the jade pendant there.
Something struck him hard from the side; he released the pendant as he fell, jarringly, onto the rocky grass by the side of the road. Pain shot up his arm, and he rolled to the side just in time to avoid Balios crumpling to the earth beside him. It took him a moment, gasping, to realize that they had not been attacked. His horse, too exhausted to take a
nother step, had collapsed beneath him.
Will heaved himself up to his knees and crawled to Balios's side. The black horse lay lathered in foam, his eyes rolling upward pitifully toward Will as Will neared him and flung an arm around his neck. To his relief the horse's pulse was steady and strong. "Balios, Balios," he whispered, stroking the animal's mane. "I am sorry. I should not have ridden you like that."
He remembered when Henry had bought the horses and was trying to decide what to name them. Will had been the one to suggest their names: Balios and Xanthos, after the immortal horses of Achilles. We two can fly as swiftly as Zephyrus, who they say is the fleetest of all winds.
But those horses had been immortal, and Balios was not. Stronger than an ordinary horse, and faster, but every creature had its limits. Will lay down, his head spinning, and stared up at the sky--like a gray sheet pulled tight, touched here and there with streaks of black cloud.
He had thought, once, in the brief moments between the lifting of the "curse" and the knowledge that Jem and Tessa were engaged, of bringing Tessa here to Wales, to show her the places he had been as a child. He had thought to take her down to Pembrokeshire, to walk around Saint David's Head and see the cliff-top flowers there, to see the blue sea from Tenby and find seashells at the tide lines. These all seemed the distant fancies of a child now. There was only the road ahead, more riding and more exhaustion, and probable death at the end of it.
With another reassuring pat on his horse's neck, Will heaved himself to his knees and then his feet. Fighting dizziness, he limped to the crest of the hill, and looked down.
A small valley lay below him, and within it was cradled a diminutive stone village, little bigger than a hamlet. He took his stele from his belt and wearily carved a Vision rune into his left wrist. It lent him enough power to see that the village had a square, and a small church. It would almost certainly have some sort of public house where he could rest for the night.
Everything in his heart screamed to go on, to finish this--he could not be more than twenty miles from his goal--but to go on would be to kill his horse and, he knew, to arrive at Cadair Idris himself in no fit state to do battle with anyone. He turned back toward Balios and with a measured application of coaxing and handfuls of oats managed to get the horse to its feet. Gathering the reins in his hand and squinting into the sunset, he began to lead Balios down the hill toward the village.