Her eyes fell on a first tombstone right before her. It had a small faded picture of a smiling woman on it; the woman's name was engraved below the picture.
Mary Tanner
1985-2004
A good wife and a sweet mother
There was a rose flower placed on the concrete platter. Nicole walked to the grave, squatted and picked it. It's fresh. It seemed like someone dropped it there like a minute ago. She looked loosely at it. It's pink, the type she dropped on her mother's grave.
The rose brought back memories of her mother's funeral. It was a rainy Saturday.
The reverend kept on talking but she couldn't recall what he had said. She was just starring at her mother’s casket; her eyes dry; she wasn't crying. Maggie was crying. One of her mother's friends, Mandy Stevens, held the old woman by the shoulder for comfort. After the funeral processions, the casket was then lowered into the grave; Kim walked over and looked at the ditch; which looked deeper than just six feet.
She remembered the moment when people began dropping flowers on the casket after it sat in the ditch. She dropped hers; and before her grandmother dropped hers, she walked away. She could hear Maggie and Amanda calling her. She didn't look back. She didn't look back for more than two years now. And she had no idea what was written on her mother's tombstone. It could probably be just her name.
Kim wondered what would be engraved on her own tombstone when she dies:
Kimberly Otis
1987-2006
A Loner and the Killer of Jason Curtis
She dropped the flower and backed off from the grave.
Kim peeped from where she was hiding and found out the funeral was over and people had began to leave. Some were squeezing Michelle's hand and shaking hands with one another.
After every one had left, Michelle stood before her son’s grave with another woman behind her, obviously saying the final goodbye or at least, having a moment. Kim wondered if Maggie did the same when Rebecca died.
When Michelle was gone, Kim walked to the grave and stood. A gravedigger was working on another grave close by; he paid no attention to her.
Her mind stood still for a moment. Nothing came out of it. It was like she had passed out in a second, woke up seconds later and asked what happened.
The last time she saw Jason's body was when the medics were about putting him in the body bag. Now the body is laying bellow where she’s standing. She pictured him dressed in a tux, with a white rose tucked on the collar.
Kim got down and scooped a handful of the fresh muddy sand from the grave and squeezed it; hard. She didn't know why she did that but it made her cry. The rain got heavier but she didn't seem to mind. Her mind was still blank, she just went on crying until the pressure in her chest reduced.
She reached inside her coat, brought out a red rose flower and placed it on the grave. She saw the engravings on the tombstone:
Jason Curtis Jnr.
1986-2006
A Loving Son
Kim kissed the stone and placed her head on it; then her mind became fully active, whispering something like a prayer and a vow. It’s something good rather than ill. She prayed for herself, for her life works out. Then she kissed the stone again.
"I love you Jason Curtis; and I'm sorry."
She glanced at the grave digger nearby. He didn't seem to bother about her sorrow; to him, it was just the same thing, a different day. She stood up slowly; took another look at the grave and walked away.
She kept on walking without looking back, for what's ahead of her was a battle that must be fought even though she didn't know how to fight it; neither did she know the weapon to use or the tactic to employ. But she will fight it by all means.
Her life had been a failure since she left home, but she's going to change that. It's a vow she pronounced right after she stepped out of the rusty cemetery gates.