Transitions
Version .03c 12/14/2015
Copyright 2015 Hallett German
Written by Hallett German
Illustrated by Alessandra German
This eBook is distributed freely for your reading enjoyment. If you like it, then you may pass it on to others. If you are so inclined after reading, writing an honest review is appreciated. Please distribute this collection of short stories without modifications. Thank you and the best of luck on your life journey.
Works by Author:
Series Books:
Amazi Chronicles:
Story #1: How I Overcame My Inventor's Block
Book #1: Automatons for Peace
Book #2: Translators for Peace (Future)
Corporate Intent:
Story #1: Missing Profits?
Book #1: Missing Employees?
Book #2: Missing Owner?
Book #3: Missing Company?
Book #4: Missing Syndicate?
Olivia Plymouth, International Traveler and Fashion Consultant:
Story #1: Joyous Travel with the Wrong Suitcase
Book #1: Brazilian Quest
Book #2: Boston Wedding
Book #3: The Year Fashion Changed
Book #4: Encounter at Tokaido Road
Non-Series Books:
Combustible Networks
Ghosts vs. Robots!
In Small Doses 1 (A Collection of Short Stories)
In Small Doses 2 (A Collection of Short Stories)
In Small Doses 3 (A Collection of Short Stories)
Killing Thoreau
Missed Landing
Musings (Non-Fiction Collection)
Saving Eddie
Simply Business/IT (Best of Short Stories Collection)
Transitions
Why I Document (Short Stories)
More details at https://hallettgermanfiction.ml and
https://sites.google.com/site/hallettgermanfiction
Cover Art Credit: Thanks to fine folks at Pixabay for supporting royalty-free images.
For excellent web sites, graphics, and book covers, please consider using my illustrator:
https://www.alessandragerman.com
Chapter 0: Introduction
Today you are awake, fully engaged with a world in a state of transition. All seems to be imbalanced. Uncertainty is running high. This has become a time of extremes rather than moderation. The number of those on the sidelines appear to be dwindling. No longer can one afford to be blind to the concerning trends -- the depletion of resources, the fraying of community bonds beyond recognition, and the striking back of the environment against humankind's abuse.
Each of us has to find our own way to right ourselves continuously. This offering is a new set of stories focusing on this effort against the backdrop of anicca. (The Buddhist term for impermanence.) The Buddha's last words were along these lines: "The world is always in transition and things do not last long. It is up to you to figure how to deal with these unfolding events. Work hard to become self-reliant and bring about your own awakening." This is something that many of us have taken to heart in these interesting times.
Good luck in your practice. Strive on with diligence. If you meet another kindred spirit on this path, then treasure the encounter. Finally, always make the time to find joy and to be at peace in a good book.
HG
Second Edition
Some months have passed and the world continues to be a verbal and physical battleground. Therefore, now more than ever, a second edition is in order. Two Transitions story collections are planned. This book, Transitions 1 contains stories inspired by the teachings of the oldest school of Buddhism - Theravada. This new edition includes extensive rewrites and a new story called My Dinner with Ananda. The first draft of the story was written while waiting for a train at Penn Station in New York City. Transitions 2 will be a short story collection based on the Mahayana tradition. (Such as Zen, Pure Land, Tibetan, etc.)
Those seeking to learn more about the teachings of the Theravada Path can visit these resources:
https://en.dhammadana.org/ -- Overview on meditation and Theravada teachings. Available in multiple languages.
https://www.dharma.org/resources- The Insight Meditation Society's talks, reading suggestions, and more.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/-- A comprehensive portal of Theravada resources.
Theravada has a rich tradition of teachers and schools. A good book to start with is Living Dharma https://www.shambhala.com/living-dharma-2654.html. While reading about the Dharma can be helpful, active investigation through meditation and daily practice is more likely to bring about fruitful results. Good luck with all your efforts.
On the writing approach
This work follows a different methodology. Much of it just happened. At the time of writing, there was no goal in mind. No label was applied to the output. I did not have thoughts such as "This is going to be a story. Or this story will be part of a collection of stories." Three of the works were written on the road in pen. All versions of the stories were kept. Each piece was retained in its own file. It was only assembled into a book at the very end.
The stories are more experimental than usual. Subject and object meld together (In a nod to Alain Robbe-Grillet). Endings are unclear. Topics are unusual. It was a unique and meaningful experience to go through.
Chapter 1: Gain and Loss
[Our lives are consumed by running towards or fleeing away from the eight worldly winds mentioned in the Buddhist texts. These are presented as four pairs: pleasure/pain, fame/disgrace, praise/blame, and gain/loss. Once we do not attach to these emotionally starving situations, then our lives become freer and happier. A translation of the Buddhist text on this topic can be found at https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an08/an08.006.than.html.]
After all of these many years, I can still remember the pain caused by that forgotten gap in time. The moment before and after the event are quite clear. An attractive stranger stopped me on a busy street. They asked me if I wished to be happy. I nodded yes. Then, all became blank.
After that, my body was rudely blanketed by a harsh coldness. There was an overwhelming numbness and shock. I had held it and it was gone forever. The secret to a life of contentment was firmly in my hands. And just like that, it was abruptly pried away. I felt empty and hollow. There was a gnawing feeling in the back of my mind that I knew where this treasure of knowledge resided. However, a growing doubt said not to trust that feeling.
My life was consumed with finding the answer. I racked my brain recalling the whole sequence of actions until at the end I no longer knew what was true and what was the pleasant fiction that my mind created to comfort me.
Although I knew my desired outcome, things were unclear and I was stumped on how to make it happen. So, I mulled it over thinking and thinking. I walked around hoping for any clue, no matter how tenuous, to be revealed. Then I thought and walked even more.
I gave up having any semblance of a normal life. I traveled aimlessly with the barest semblance of any hope. The years passed and I grew older. Any faith in my quest was completely eroded. My emotional and mental wellbeing was seriously threatened. My legs gave out at last and I was unable to move any further. Paralyzed by an unseen power, I cried to the universe to ease my helplessness. Motionless, there was nothing else to do.
Finally, have exhausted all options, I simply gave up. Then at that moment, what happened that day became clear.
An attractive and mysterious stranger had caught wind of my presence and they had stopped me.
They said, "Do you wish to find true happiness?"
Hungrily, I replied "Yes."
They looked intently in my face, smiled and sa
id simply. "No, now is not the time for you to know the answer. Without another word, they moved down the street not looking back.
I realized now that I was full of disbelief and shocked in not getting what I wanted. In reaction, my mind compensated and consoled me that it had received an answer when it had clearly not.
Now much older after it happened, I realized that I had been given an answer that day. After some reflection, I came upon these truths:
1. Everything is constantly changing.
2. What makes us happy today may not necessarily make us happy tomorrow.
3. So, cherish those rare moments of true happiness that we receive rather than seeking something that may never happen.
I am grateful that it did not take my whole life until I understood what I truly needed and was actually seeking. Frozen in fear and frustration no more, I am bathed with light of satisfaction from the many joys and many sorrows that each day brings. That alone is sufficient for me, no longer seeking other than what is so close by.
Chapter 2: The Device
[This was written after hearing a talk by Alain Robbe-Grillet on the blurring the subject and object. As keeping with this style of writing, the true nature of the device is not revealed.]
I was told that machines were something to help us, free up our time, and make things more comfortable. That is to help get us from here to there, to cook our food, to keep us warm or cool, to serve as a repository for our literature/films, and much more. Yet, I was not given guidance about their dark side.
One day, a Device arrived at my lodging. My hopes were so high given the strong product ratings and incredible functionality. All started well at first as the Device exceeded my every need. It was fast and I was elated with having such a helpful tool. This continued for some time.
Then one day, I noticed that the Device was entering its Middle Age. It increasingly struggled to do its job and mechanically wheezed its way through each task. I became more frustrated and tried to return it to the store. They said that it had a limited life and was working as well as expected. They told me a faster and more reliable model would be out later in the year. Perhaps I could come back then and they may give me some sort of discount. I fumed and was resigned to an increasingly higher probability of Device instability and eventual failure. I became grateful for those rare days when things worked as expected.
Finally, the inevitable end of days came to the Device. It sputtered, irregularly flashed colors, and more often shutdown than stayed happily in operation. No longer angry at the poor excuse of a tool, instead I felt pity. After all, it was just following the whim of its creators. It felt as if I was watching a long-term family member slowly go through their last moments on this planet. The day came and the Device was now cold and silent. I honored my lost companion with a burial by the flowing waters. I was heartbroken and inconsolable. Then time came to decide what to do next. Do I undertake the drudgery that the Device thanklessly performed or purchase an updated successor? Eventually realizing there was not much choice, I once again was sucked into another purchase and yet again and again watched my former reliable Devices have its usefulness gradually disappear.
"Here is a song for long lost friends.
We worked together
until your usefulness ended.
Rest away, Rest away my former mechanical companions
You were used to the limit. You were loved.
Tragically, you are now broken and quiet.
And I tearfully say goodbye one last time"
Chapter 3: Protest
[This was written in Santa Clara. California on a steno pad using a pen. The original title was "Back against the Wall." However, the protest could be anything. Because every day, we resist actively what a situation asks of us.]
I do not know when it began. Perhaps I read about some Buddhist practitioner that meditated for years staring at a dark wall. Or I broke up with another potential mate disappointed in me or me in them. Perhaps, I just wanted a way to proclaim a loud "I am not playing this game anymore. Forget you."
Once it started, it gathered its own power, aggravating the world. I did it as much as possible in restaurants, airports, streets, work, other people's homes, and libraries. A visible but a silent reminder that someone was obviously ignoring their apparent self-importance.
A woman screamed at me, "What is your problem?" Men thought I was insensitive. Children thought it was strange. Only one man got it, "Ah, my friend. I see you wish to be not in the world. This is the closest way that you can achieve your goal. Congratulations."
Spurred on by his words, I continued demonstrating wherever I could. It felt good to stick it to the cosmos. I did not wish to play any expected role or meet anyone's expectations.
Then one day of doing this, I felt a small hand tap me and a warm voice saying, "You don't have to ignore the world any more. You have taught it what you wanted to. Celebrate your triumph. Still for sanity's sake, do not dwell in an emotional rut. Do you know what your effort even means anymore or what you want to achieve?
I should have been angry and offer a nasty retort. However, she was right. This game had grown tiring. Curious, I turned to face my speaker. I saw a pair of calm eyes, a steady gaze showing patience. There was no anger, no hate, and no anxiety. It was like nothing that I had ever seen before.
"You can call me Friend Claire. I am part of an organization that quietly tries to balance the world by helping adjust those needing our assistance. You are an unusual case. I have watched you from nearby. Most of the time was trying to figure you out. Why were you shunning yourself from the world? Were you an introvert and there was a good deal of fear? No, I quickly observed you had no problems interacting with people when you wanted to. Was it from a sense of feeling superior to others? Again, I observed that you treated others with respect even if they did not like your action. And time after time, I would form hypotheses on what was bothering and motivating you. Finally, I decided it was partially random and some sort of vague protest. It made you feel good and useful against a world that you were seeing as increasingly lost in its way."
"But the world has not gone astray. It is just transitioning to something else. Just like a child growing into an adult, there will be times of beauty, love, and forgiveness. And you are missing all of it."
I listened and what she said made sense. Yet, if I accepted her advice, what would I do next? I looked at her with questioning eyes. She confidentially and confidently spoke.
"For you, it's very simple. Do not avoid the world. Embrace It! Do not work hard to shut off the world. Work harder to fight for it. Stop seeing the planet as one collection of things to ignore. Listen to each story that you hear and the emotions and motivations behind them. Forget yourself and help others."
I snapped, "But I cannot forget myself. It is always in my face. My lustful thoughts about some woman, the constant desire to eat, the ongoing drive to buy something, the numbing fear about tomorrow, the terrible anxiety about today, and tortuous pain about the past."
My watcher continued, "Do you wish to be more in control of those feelings?" I nodded yes.
She caringly spoke," Forget yourself and help others. Time will be more precious and important. By helping others, you will learn more about yourself. You have tried exclusion without success. Now accept a path of inclusion and see what it brings. Just observe. No judging. And just help."
I agreed to try it for a year. I watched the world around me. There was so much going on. There was a man looking sad. Concerned, I went up to him and asked what was wrong. And I listened and listened some more. I had no suggestions or judgment. I gave him all of the time he wanted. At the end, he seemed happy releasing all of those feelings out of him and thanked me. I am not sure for what. Thankfully, I felt a little better about myself.
After that, I continued to help others as the need arose. Actually, I just listened. Over time, I became more patient and trusted. One day I met the woman that said, "What was my p
roblem?" during my time exiting myself from the world but still being a part of it.
"I was so mad when I saw you. You were just there saying. "I don't want this anymore. Whatever you have is meaningless." I went back to my room angry and not sure what to do next. I just thought about it. Then, I realized the world is what it is. I cannot change that. However, I can adjust my feelings to it. So, that's what I did. Afterwards, I felt lighter and things look brighter. I am glad that I had a chance finally to meet and talk with you again. God bless you on your journey. "
We parted and this experience of forgetting myself became the operational mode for the rest of my life until something better comes along. Still whatever it is, it will not involve hiding myself from the world again.
Chapter 4: Hungry Ghost
[If walking the streets of Asia, you may some unusual rituals. Stores are closed for a holiday. The front row of chairs are unoccupied at a performance. Or food being left outside a house. Many of these are the tributes to the unhappy and unfortunate creatures called by many hungry ghosts. These creatures are traditionally drawn with small necks and large heads. They are doomed to roam the earth and their own realm. This is due to past life of evil and greedy actions. However, hungry ghosts are also found living all around us. This a tale about such a creature.]
I do not know when I started to go down this slippery slope of being a slave eternally to my senses. Life began well. I found out early in life that I enjoyed tormenting and taunting life's weaker creatures. Oh, the delight unleashing the mental catalog of petty suffering and tortures that I could inflict on all that I met on my journeys.
Then one day, an incessant craving for banana ice cream seized me. This insatiable demand commanded my life. Nothing else was important. I started to work at the supermarket so I was closer to purchasing this wonderful dessert. The only way that I kept working was by knowing at the end of my part-time job that I would have more than enough to pay for my growing refrigerator and frozen dairy bills.
Part of me started to watch myself and was disgusted increasingly with what I was seeing. Then one day I decided to change my life. I made a simple vow. To buy one less box a day and not eat any of these delights for thirty minutes. At the start, it was pure torture. I had these massive cravings screaming at me to be satisfied. All I had to do was eat just one bar. It seemed so simple and life would be good. It was such a modest demand. Just then, a quieter saner voice took hold and said calmly, "Remember your vow." At the end of thirty minutes, I felt like a real hero for having won over my mental overseers. From that point onward, I made steady progress with a few setbacks. Then I reached that amazing day when I could pass by the freezers mentally unscathed.