Dark.
She felt it press into her, like it was physical, a weight, a heavy weight against her skin.
Her breath started to get heavy.
She saw only dark but she felt only Layne.
She let the heat from his body seep into her, feeling his strength under her arm, her cheek, her leg, down her torso.
She pulled in a deep, steady breath and stared into the dark, sucking in Layne’s heat, his strength.
She used him to beat it back, closed her eyes and slept, pinning her man to the bed.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Dark
Saturday, 3:37 p.m.
They were losing her. Towers had followed Jeremy when he was supposed to be going to the church for Youth Group. He didn’t realize he was being tailed and when he didn’t go to church and drove right past, she’d peeled off and gone back to The Brendel.
Colt had called Layne in. Emergency meeting. Jeremy hadn’t been able to get the clients’ names or the dirt on Rutledge and he’d fucked it up, went after it too hard, too desperate and she got curious as to why he wanted to know.
Now they were screwed.
Layne’s phone rang, he pulled it out, looked at the display and saw it said, “Tripp Calling”.
He flipped it open and started, “Yo –”
“Dad, somethin’s wrong with Rocky,” Tripp whispered.
Layne nearly drove off the road at the tone of his son’s voice.
In order to get some work done, he’d left his family that morning with donuts and college football pre-game shows. They were having a special dinner that night and Rocky and Vera were planning the menu. Rocky had called the furniture store on Friday and ordered the furniture, paying extra for express delivery that day. Giselle was going to help them break in the table and Rocky had called Vi and talked her into letting Keira come, even though she was still grounded for two more days, just for the night, just for dinner.
Dave and Merry were coming too.
The whole family.
Rocky, wearing his robe, and Vera had been laughing about some woman shit and clicking through recipes on Jasper’s laptop at the island when he left.
Now something was wrong.
Layne swiftly changed lanes and turned left to circle home.
“Talk to me, Pal,” Layne ordered while he drove.
“I don’t know, the dudes got here with the furniture. They brought in the big couch and then the table. They tore all the shit away from the table and Rocky, she went funny. She stared at that table and she went funny. Then she took off running to your room. It was like Gram knew what was happening and she took off after her. Gram’s in your room with her now and sometimes she shouts. Jasper is upstairs, standing outside your door, he won’t leave it and he didn’t have his phone. He told me to call you and then call Dev.”
“Sometimes she shouts?” Layne asked.
“She doesn’t even sound like her, Dad, it’s…” His voice broke and Layne’s stomach dropped hearing it. “Dad, it’s freaking creepy.”
Fuck.
Layne hooked another left. “What does she say?”
“Nothin’ that makes sense.”
“Tell me what she says, Tripp.”
He was quiet a beat and then he said, “She says she can’t make you do it.”
“Can’t make me do what?”
“I don’t know, Dad, God!” He was getting agitated, or more agitated. “That’s just what she says. Over and over again. ‘I can’t make him do it! I can’t make Layne do it!’”
Jesus fucking Christ.
“Do not let her leave,” Layne ordered.
“Right.”
“Tripp, listen to me, if she doesn’t have her keys, find them and hide them. If she’s got them, talk to Jasper and tell him to do what he’s gotta do to get them away from her. She still tries to go, I don’t care if you have to tackle her and pin her to the ground, do not hesitate, boy, and do not let her leave. Tell your brother.”
“Right.”
“I’m coming home right now.”
“Right.”
“Be there soon,” he stated, flipped his phone closed, flipped it open, scrolled down to Dave and hit go.
“Hey Tanner,” Dave answered.
“Rocky’s turned,” Layne announced and got silence. “Dave, did you hear me? Rocky’s turned. Something’s wrong. Tripp just called, said she’s shouting at Ma about not making me do something and he says she doesn’t sound like Rocky. He’s freaked.”
“I’m on my way,” Dave replied urgently.
“No, no you are fuckin’ not. Talk to me.”
“She needs me.”
“Talk to me, Dave.”
“I’m at the tackle shop in Plainfield, I’ll be there soon’s I can.”
“Dave –”
Dead air.
“Fuck!” Layne exploded, stopped at a red light and waited impatiently, adrenalin surging through his system, so much he could feel it. His hands were shaking, the muscles in his thighs quivering, he was staring at the no turn on red sign like he could make it designate with his eyes. “Fuck,” he whispered.
He turned when he had his shot, the light still red, Layne went right and broke the speed limit by thirty miles an hour, overtaking two cars to make it home. He parked on the street and ran flat out to the front door, opening it, he heard her instantly.
“No!” Rocky shrieked, her voice hoarse, guttural, even as Layne moved to the stairs he felt that voice send a shiver along his skin. “I’ve got to go! I have to be gone before he gets home!”
“Rocky, honey, just calm down, okay? Okay, honey?” Vera cooed, Layne took the stairs three at a time and hit the top to see Tripp, Vera and Jasper had Rocky cornered in the weight room.
Her face was red, her body was wired, her hair was down and wild, like she’d been tearing her hands through it, a vein had popped out on her forehead, running down the middle to disappear at the bridge of her nose.
Her eyes came to his and hers were flooded with fear.
“Baby,” he whispered and she moved, like a dart, shooting through his family, right at him.
She tried to dodge him at the last minute but he caught her, arm at the waist, swinging her up in front of him, her back to his front. Her legs kicked and her nails clawed at his arm but he turned and walked to his room even as she fought.
“Calm down, Rocky,” he whispered in her ear, her body bucked, her head colliding against his shoulder when he jerked his out of the way at the last second. “Calm down, baby.”
“Let me go!” she screeched in that hideous voice.
He got into his room and she twisted violently in his arms, her hand up, she scored his neck with her nails and the pain shot through him, his arms loosening, she yanked away from him and tried to get passed him but he put a hand flat on her chest and gently pushed her back, feeling Vera, Tripp and Jasper moving in behind him to cut her off. She still made a run for it and Layne caught her again and pushed her back.
Her gaze swept Layne, his mother and his boys and she retreated, slowly stepping back, her eyes locking on Layne as he advanced.
“Don’t,” she warned, lifting a hand and stopping so Layne stopped too.
“Rocky, what’s goin’ on?” Layne asked softly.
“I can’t make you do it,” she told him and she began to pace, like an animal in a cage, side to side, her eyes flitting from him to Tripp to Vera to Jas to Layne and back as she repeated, “I can’t make you do it.”
“Do what?” Layne asked.
She shook her head, her eyes catching his. “I can’t make you do it.”
“Do what, baby?”
“Be with me,” she said and then started chanting as she paced. “I can’t make you be with me, I can’t make you be with me, I can’t make you be with me.”
Jesus. Jesus.
“Rocky, baby,” Layne whispered.
She started to shake her head and kept doing it, her eyes going to her feet, she was still p
acing back and forth, “I didn’t help her. I didn’t help her. It was so dark.”
“Oh my God,” Vera breathed as Layne felt his chest squeeze.
“Rocky, what was dark?” he whispered.
She kept shaking her head. “It was so dark.”
“What was dark, honey?”
“I hid, I hid, I hid when I should have helped her. I hid in the dark,” Rocky whispered.
“You hid,” Layne said quietly, inching toward her, “You hid when Carson Fisher came?”
She started nodding then, her head moving in a rhythm, uncontrolled, bobbing up and down, Rocky was gone, the woman she was was not there. She’d slid back twenty-four years.
Layne felt Devin’s presence hit the room but he didn’t turn and Rocky didn’t notice him.
“Yes, when he came. She heard his car. She came to my room. She woke me up and told me to call 911. She told me to hide. She told me to hide.” Her head jerked back and she stopped pacing, the look on her face searing into his soul when she whispered, “I did what I was told.”
“Baby, you did what you were told. You called 911. You hid. You did the right thing.”
“I should have helped her.”
“You couldn’t have helped her.”
“She was shouting.”
Layne was moving closer but stopped when Rocky noticed it, took a huge step back and started visibly trembling.
“Baby, you couldn’t have helped her.”
“He hurt her before he shot her,” Rocky whispered.
Fuck, fuck, he knew that, he’d read the report. Carson Fisher had spent some time with Cecilia Merrick. Not much, he didn’t have it. But he needed the evidence that Cecilia had so he tried torturing her to get it, he did a messy job of it in his haste and the results were unpleasant.
Cecilia had lived through it though, and died when she took a bullet to the face.
Layne just didn’t know Rocky knew it.
Fuck.
“He hurt her and she was screaming.”
“Honey, come here.”
“I didn’t help, I hid, I hid and it was so dark.”
“Baby, please, come here.”
“The eaves,” she whispered, she was rocking her torso side to side, her arms sliding along her belly and holding tight, “Dad hated it when the birds got up there so he sealed it tight. I went out the little door to the eaves and it was so dark.”
“Rocky, please, baby, come here.”
“I went there, like a coward, and listened in the dark while she screamed.”
“Rocky –”
“All alone.”
“Rocky –”
“I left her all alone.”
“Roc –”
Her hands suddenly went straight down, balled into fists and she shrieked, “I left her all alone! He hurt her, I left her all alone! And she knew I could hear that! She died knowing I could hear that. She knew! My Momma. Sheknewsheknewsheknew.”
Layne moved forward fast, caught her in his arms but she struggled, yanked free and ran to the corner, pressing her side to it, she twisted to him, hand up, eyes on him.
“Don’t touch me,” she whispered and he watched her body tremble.
“Ma, call Doc,” Layne ordered, not taking his eyes off Rocky and Vera didn’t say a word but he knew she left the room, he saw Rocky’s eyes follow her. “Rocky, baby, you aren’t yourself,” he told her, moving again slowly and her eyes shot back to him. “This is called post-traumatic stress, honey. You aren’t yourself. This isn’t then, this is now, you’re safe.”
She shook her head. “No, no I’m not.”
“You’re safe, baby, nothing is ever gonna hurt you.”
“No, no, I’m not safe. You’re not safe.”
“I’m safe, Rocky.”
“No,” she kept shaking her head. “It isn’t right. It could have been right but it isn’t right now. Not now. It’s worse than before. A lot worse. We could have had time but I fucked up.”
“Honey –”
Her head still shaking she talked over him. “I can’t make you do that.”
She started sliding down the wall, her knees to her chest, her hand still lifted as if to fend him off.
“I can’t make you do that,” she repeated.
Layne crouched in front of her two feet away.
“Baby, can’t make me do what?” he whispered.
“Lose me,” she whispered back.
“You’re not goin’ anywhere,” he told her.
“I’m going to die.”
Layne’s body froze.
Then he whispered, “What?”
“She was thirty-nine when she died. That’s next year for me, Layne.”
“Rocky –”
“That’s what I’m going to get, for not helping her. I’m going to die when she died. I know, I’ve always known, I’ll never make it. I’ll never make it. I knew what it would feel like to lose you and I knew you’d feel the same way if you lost me. Like Dad. You’d be like Dad. If we had the chance to have a life, I knew you’d never move on.” Her hand dropped and she wrapped both arms around her legs but her eyes didn’t leave his, they were burning into him and his chest was burning, his throat and he could do nothing but hold her eyes. “I left you to give you a life, baby,” she whispered, her voice hoarse, the tears hitting her eyes, sliding down, silent. “I wanted you to have a life.”
“That’s why you left me?” he asked quietly.
She nodded. “I didn’t want you to hurt. I knew how bad it hurt. I felt it. Saw it in Merry. Saw it in Dad. I didn’t want you to hurt.”
“Rocky, come to me.”
“We can’t have a baby girl, she won’t have a Momma,” Rocky whispered.
Layne’s voice was rough when he begged, “Please, baby, come to me.”
“I know what it’s like to lose your Momma.”
“Baby, please.”
“I can’t sit at the table with the family, Layne. I let my family die, left her all alone to die, crouched like a coward in the dark and listened to her scream while I let her die.”
“You didn’t let her die, honey, Fisher killed her.”
“I can’t sit at the table when I let my family die.”
Layne was done.
“I’m comin’ to you, Roc.”
She shook her head as the tears slid down her face, off her jaw to hit her sweater.
“Right now, baby, I’m coming to you.”
She kept shaking her head as he moved to her and he braced for a fight but when he got to her, she surged into him, pressing in, deep and tight. He twisted and sat in the corner, she crawled into his lap, curling into a ball, her arms attached around his neck like she was never going to let him go and the tears came. Not tears. Great, wracking, body rocking sobs.
He held her close and looked up to see Devin, Tripp and Jasper had moved in.
“Dave’s gonna get here and he’ll have called Merry. They don’t approach. I don’t care what you do but I don’t want them up here until Doc sees to her.”
“Gotcha, son,” Devin whispered.
“Go, close the door,” Layne ordered.
Devin nodded, he turned but Jasper and Tripp didn’t move, their eyes were glued to their father.
“Go,” Layne whispered.
Dev’s arms came out and he hooked both Layne’s boys, gently turning them and guiding them away.
Rocky shoved her face deeper into his neck, Layne dropped his head and spoke in her ear.
“We’re gonna work this out of you, baby.”
She shook her head.
“Swear, Roc, swear, I’m gonna take care of you. Yeah?”
She didn’t answer, just pressed deeper.
Layne’s arms got tight. “Love you, Raquel.”
Another sob tore up her throat but, thank fuck, she held on.
* * * * *
Doc slid Rocky’s hair off her neck then his eyes came to Layne.
“You can let her go, son, she’s sleeping,” Doc
whispered.
“Get Ma,” Layne ordered.
Doc looked into his eyes, took a breath in his nose and nodded. Then he walked out of the room.
Layne was in bed, shoulders to the headboard, Rocky curled asleep on top of him. Doc had administered the injection while she was still sobbing, Christ, so many tears. He didn’t know a body had that many tears. She didn’t struggle. She took the shot and slowly faded to quiet in his arms.
Now it was now and he knew both Dave and Merry were downstairs. He knew too that they had lost a wife, a mother.
And he didn’t fucking care.
Vera slid into the room and her eyes went directly to him.
“Get in bed, Ma.”
She nodded and hurried to Rocky’s side of the bed. She sat like Layne was sitting and he turned Rocky into her outstretched arms. When Rocky’s head settled on his mother’s chest and Vera had pulled Rocky’s arm around her belly, Layne slid out of bed.
“Don’t let her go,” Layne whispered.
“I won’t, honey,” Vera whispered back.
Layne walked to the door, closed it and he should have taken a breath. He should have taken three.
He didn’t.
He stalked down the stairs.
Everyone was in the kitchen, Dev, Tripp, Jas, Doc, Dave and Merry.
Dave was sitting at the island. Merry was standing beside it.
“How is –?” Dave started but stopped when Layne stalked straight to Merry.
Merry’s face was ravaged with worry but that didn’t penetrate the fury spiraling around Layne. What it did was bring Merry’s guard down so he didn’t move fast enough which meant Layne got close, wrapped his hand tight around Merry’s throat and he kept walking, pushing Merry back.
“Dad!” Tripp shouted.
Merry’s hands came up to Layne’s forearm as Layne squeezed.
“Tanner!” Dave yelled.
“Boy!” Devin yelled too but Layne shoved Merry against the wall, pinned him there with his body and got in his face, still squeezing.
“Twenty-four years, you asshole, twenty-four years, you left that festering in her head.”
“Boy, stand down,” Devin ordered, his hand on Layne’s back but Layne twitched his body, throwing off Devin’s hand and he squeezed Merry’s throat harder.
“You knew,” Layne clipped as Merry choked. “You knew that’s why she left me. You knew that was torturing her. And you left her to that agony.”