They had three minutes. Quickly and mechanically, Cassie showered, using the small blue sliver of soap that dozens of other kids had used before her. After shaking two ants off her toothbrush, she brushed her teeth. The water went off, and Cassie dried herself.
As she dressed again, she saw a scorpion skittering across the wet cement toward her. One of the baby ones, less than an inch across, which meant that it was one of the most dangerous. Until she came here, the only scorpions she had seen had been in paperweights. Cassie quickly slipped on her flip-flops. From the other girls she had learned that you couldn’t hesitate. She stepped on it firmly, then scraped the resulting mess off on the edge of the open drain.
Outside the showers Cassie fell back in line, then hung up her towel on the clothesline. She used the pipe by the ditch to rinse the mud from her feet and flip-flops. Some of the girls used this water to brush their teeth. Cassie didn’t. She was sure that was why some girls spent so much time on the toilet, crapping their insides out.
After their shower the Respect Family split up to do daily chores. Cassie was in charge of sweeping and mopping their family’s room. For the first few weeks Rebecca had watched her, occasionally going so far as to run her fingers over the still-damp tile. Cassie had been the model Level One, not so much for the hope of leaving, but just to go up a level and get some privacy back. Now that she was finally a Level Two, Cassie was left on her own.
Since the room was only about twenty feet square, it didn’t take long to finish her mopping. Cassie leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, knowing Mother Nadine’s schedule as well as her own. Right about now, their housemother would be out in the courtyard, sharing a cigarette with Father Roberto and trying to flirt in her American-accented Spanish.
When she felt the air change around her, Cassie jumped. But it was only Hayley, who was in charge of cleaning the hallway.
“What’s up?” Cassie said, relaxing back against the wall.
“Not much, just chillin’.” Hayley closed her eyes. “Just trying to stay out of Mother Nadine’s line of sight. Although she isn’t as bad as some of the others.”
“How many housemothers have you had?”
Hayley started counting on her fingers. “Seven. I heard Mother Nadine got caught having sex with some eleventh-grade boy back when she was teaching in the States, so that’s why she’s here. It takes a special kind of American to put up with the crap that goes on here. The Mexicans I can understand. They’ve got to make a living. But Father Gary always likes to have a couple Americans around, so he can trot them out if a parent unexpectedly shows up.”
“Parents can come here?”
“It doesn’t happen very often—and they’re only supposed to come if you’re on Level Four and they’ve gone through a seminar back in the States. But occasionally someone just shows up. That’s happened twice since I’ve been here. Gary has spies at the airport and the border. When he hears somebody’s coming, he immediately goes into cover-up mode. The place gets cleaned up, we get real food, and we get to wash our clothes in a machine.”
Cassie listened for a long moment to make sure no one was coming, then whispered her obsession. “Hayley, I’ve got to get out of here.”
“It’s impossible. I’ve been here two years, and nobody’s made it out. Nobody. Two guys died trying.”
Cassie gulped. “How’d they die?”
“They found one in the desert. It’s real easy to get turned around out there.”
“My watch has this compass ring thingy.” Cassie showed it to her, dialing the ring on the outside so that it made a tiny ticking noise. “I don’t know how to use it, though,” she admitted. “How did the other one die?”
“Tried to jump from the roof, using a broomstick like a pole vault to go over the wall. I’ve always wondered about that one, though. I heard a noise that night, like a shot.”
Cassie put her hand over her mouth. “They wouldn’t kill somebody for leaving!”
Hayley shrugged. “Depends on what they were worried someone might say, and who they might say it to. Three years ago, Gary’s brother was running another school in Jamaica, but the authorities closed it down because they were putting kids in OP in dog kennels with duct tape across their mouths. You’d think that would give the parents a clue that something was wrong, but no, most of them just arranged for their kids to be shipped here.”
“Duct tape and dog kennels? How do you know that?”
“Because I was there.”
“Wait. Your mom knew that about the school—about the kennels—and she still let them send you here?”
Hayley shrugged. “She’s a pretty high-powered executive. She’s hardly ever home. I don’t think she knew what to do with a kid after my dad took off. He used to be the, you know, the househusband. Mr. Mom.”
“Then why not just put you in a regular boarding school?”
“She didn’t think they were strict enough.” Hayley’s voice was bitter. “She said I was incorrigible. I was smoking, breaking curfew. She would drop me off outside school and I would just cut and hang at the skate—” Suddenly she picked up her broom and began to sweep the already clean floor.
Cassie grabbed for her mop just in time. Mother Nadine appeared in the doorway, hands on hips.
“You don’t fool me for one minute, girls.” But her protest was halfhearted, and neither Hayley nor Cassie looked up. Things at Peaceful Cove generally went better if you never met anyone’s eyes. Finally Mother Nadine barked, “Line up!” They went downstairs, joining the rest of the Respect Family for breakfast.
The meals were laid out on the table—boiled cabbage and fish, one of Cassie’s new favorite meals. Back in the States, she had eaten fish only rarely, chicken maybe once every six months, beef and pork never. Now she ate whatever was put in front of her—fat, scraps, organs. Even so, there was never quite enough.
After breakfast, the Respect Family joined the Health Family in one of the classrooms. The morning PGV was about confidence. Cassie had seen it the first week she came, so she only half watched. The tape lasted thirty minutes. The two teacher’s aides stood outside in the hall, talking, so instead of taking notes, she wrote a note to Hayley.
“I’m here because I found out my stepdad was prescribing an experimental drug to kids that killed some of them. He was afraid I was going to tell. But if I don’t, more kids will die. I HAVE to get out of here.”
Cassie dropped her pencil, then passed her note to Hayley when she bent over to pick it up. Hayley palmed it like a pro. No one was watching, though. Rebecca looked half asleep, her head propped up on her hand. Hayley read the note, then raised her eyebrows and gave one quick nod.
After they had written their two essays and turned them in, it was 9:30. Time for school. Only there was no teaching. Instead, the Mexican chaperones passed out textbooks that more or less corresponded with the grade you would be in if you were in the States. Cassie’s dog-eared textbook—Our American System: An Introduction to Civics—had been published in 1982. You were expected to teach yourself—to read, take notes, and when you finished a chapter, ask for a multiple-choice test. If you got stuck, you could raise your hand and one of the aides sitting at the back of the room might be able to help.
Cassie finished a chapter on the First Continental Congress and raised her hand. Without making much of an effort, she took the test. The textbook was on her desk, so she could look up any answers she didn’t know, but she didn’t bother. The first time she had taken a test, she marked down a few answers that she knew, guessed on a bunch more, and turned it in. When she got it back the next day, she had gotten twenty-one out of forty questions right. She had also gotten a B.
From Hayley, Cassie had learned that it was impossible to get anything lower than a B. Peaceful Cove was a five-star boarding school where everyone received a 3.0 average or above.
After lunch and another class, Cassie’s family lined up in the hall to do laundry, a weekly chore. They went back upstairs to g
et their clothes and sheets, then headed outside. Each of them grabbed a white plastic five-gallon bucket and dipped it into the cold ditch water. The guard poured a handful of soap into each bucket. Cassie plunged her clothes in and then rubbed the edges together.
The guard stood in the shadow of the building, smoking a cigarette, his eyes closed. A dozen whispered conversations sprung up. Instead of looking at each other, people kept their eyes on the guard instead, so that conversations had an oddly sideways quality.
When the rest of the girls started whispering about their favorite foods, Hayley leaned closer to Cassie. “Is what you said about your dad true?”
“It’s my stepdad, but yeah. He’s been testing this new drug, kind of like a super-Prozac for teenagers. It’s supposed to do everything Peaceful Cove does to make kids ‘better,’ only it takes a week or two, not years.”
“Some parents would want that.” Hayley lifted her uniform from the gray water and began to twist it. “And maybe some wouldn’t. Maybe for some, it’s just easier not to have their kid around.”
“I don’t think any parent would want it if they knew that three kids had died taking it. My stepdad found out I planned on telling, and the next thing I knew I was being shipped off here because they supposedly found crystal meth in my room.”
“So why do you want to go home so bad? He clearly doesn’t want you there.”
Cassie thought of Darren. “I have to find someone who will listen before more kids die.”
Hayley inched closer. “When I was in Jamaica, I broke out. I waited until the night guard fell asleep and then I broke through the window. But I had no food, no water, no shoes, no money. I was a white girl with red hair running around on the streets of Jamaica. They caught me within two hours. The supervisor told me I would be in OP for three days.” Her eyes were flat. “I was in there for a month straight. So if you run, Cassie, you’d better not come back.”
twenty-three
June 2
“Hiya! Hiya!” Cassie shouted, waving her arms, running with the other girls toward the goats that had gathered on the field where they played soccer. Twice a week, the Respect Family was allowed outside to play soccer. Really outside—outside the compound walls. Those who had been given consequences stayed behind, assigned to write essays or do worksheets. Just being forced to stay inside was punishment enough. Watching the goats trot away, bleating, ears flicking up and down, Cassie had the uncomfortable feeling that she had probably eaten one of their brothers or sisters the day before.
The Respect and Triumph Families took their positions in the large dirt field littered with rocks. Even though she had only played it a few times before coming to Mexico, Cassie now loved soccer. Outside the walls, she felt free. There were no housemothers, just four guards who did nothing but watch while two families squared off.
Cassie technically played forward, but no one really stayed in their positions. The game started, and in a few seconds it was just a mad scramble for the ball. Like most of the other girls, she played in her bare feet. Cassie might never have learned how to properly kick a soccer ball, but at Peaceful Cove she had become an expert at running people over. All her anger, fear, and frustration found an outlet in scoring points, sprinting up and down the field, and bulldozing anyone who stood in her way.
A hotshot girl from the Triumph Family who used to play on her high school team broke free and started down the field. Cassie managed to dart in front of her. She tried to kick the ball, but instead she kicked the girl. The other girl went down, grabbing her knee. For a second Cassie had the ball to herself and she began to dribble it up the field. Someone grabbed her ponytail, jerked her head back, and threw her to the ground.
PE was the only time of the day it didn’t matter what color shorts you wore, it didn’t matter that you didn’t deserve to be here, it didn’t matter if your parents didn’t love you, it didn’t matter that you might not go home again for years. All that mattered was getting the dusty black-and-white ball into the goal. The girls fought their way through soccer games as if they were fighting for their lives.
Cassie limped off the field. A few minutes later, Hayley joined her, favoring her right knee, although Cassie was pretty sure she was faking.
“I wish there was a way we could take off now, when we’re already outside the walls,” Cassie whispered to Hayley. She leaned forward to rub the already darkening bruise on her thigh that was the exact same size as another girl’s foot.
The guards had a bet riding on this game and were more involved in watching what was happening on the field than what was going on off it.
Hayley shrugged. “You know how fast they would be on us? We’d be a year’s salary apiece running around in flip-flops. We wouldn’t get more than a hundred yards.” She turned to look at the guards, then slipped a piece of paper folded impossibly small from her bra. “Still want to know how to use that compass ring on your watch?” She pressed it into Cassie’s hand.
Without unfolding it or even looking at it, Cassie tucked it into her own bra. “Where did you get it?”
Hayley’s grin was proud. “You know that new nurse, the one who looks up stuff on the Internet all the time because she never really graduated from nursing school? I told her I was feeling weak and dizzy, and she let me lie down for a while. As soon as she went to the bathroom, I got on the Timex website. I had the instructions printed out before she got back.”
“You shouldn’t have taken that chance! She could have sent you to OP for weeks!”
Hayley shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Just promise me that you’ll tell everyone about this place when you leave.”
“When I leave?” Panic surged through Cassie. “But you said you would go with me. I need you!”
Hayley wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Two people will be twice as easy to find.”
“But the way I figure it, you need two people to get home! Two people to make sure we’re going the right direction, to help each other climb up those hills, to take turns so one can watch while the other sleeps.” Cassie felt desperate. She wouldn’t—maybe even couldn’t—do it alone. “It’s like swimming. You know how they say you should never swim without a buddy?”
Hayley still didn’t answer.
Cassie put her hand on Hayley’s freckled arm. “Please say you’ll do it with me. I’m too scared to do it on my own.”
Hayley heaved a sigh. “Look, I’m bad luck. And I would just slow you down. Look how fast you can run across that field. I get twenty feet and I’m panting. All that smoking probably screwed up my lungs.” Her gaze finally connected with Cassie’s pleading eyes. “Come on, I got you the directions for the watch, didn’t I?”
Cassie gave a short shake of her head. “Please. I can’t do it without you. I need you. Please?” She hadn’t meant to, but her voice broke in the middle of the word.
After what seemed an eternity, Hayley nodded. “All right. I’ll come with you. But you’ll have to figure out how. I’ve thought about it and thought about it, and I can’t see any way of getting out.”
twenty-four
June 3
When the Respect Family filed into the courtyard on their way to head count the next afternoon, they saw two men holding a tall blond girl between them. Cassie flinched. It was Marty and JJ. The two men looked at her without recognition, just one of three dozen girls all dressed the same. The girl they held looked other-worldly to Cassie. Her clothes were so clean! She wore a pink T-shirt, cutoff shorts, two string anklets, and white, silver-striped Adidas. Her shirt stopped short of her belly and announced “How Hot Am I?” Even though you could tell by her face that she was exhausted, she had the most erect posture Cassie had ever seen.
Tears had left shiny tracks down the girl’s face. As Cassie thought about what the girl would have to undergo next, she felt her stomach clench.
After dinner, they headed back up to their room for a feedback meeting. The girls from the Respect Family sat in a circle on the floor, legs tucked to o
ne side, while Hector stood outside the open door, laboriously writing up his shift-change report. For a few minutes it was possible to hold hushed conversations before Mother Nadine came into the room. Then they would have the “opportunity” to stand up and “share,” or offer “feedback.”
Hayley had started to whisper something to Cassie when the guard stalked into the room. “Who is talking?” Hector asked in heavily accented English. “Who?”
They sat silently, as still as trapped animals. His eyes scanned the room, moving slowly from face to face, searching for a hint of guilt. Everyone suddenly became interested with things on the floor or the backs of their hands, avoiding all eye contact. He only left when Mother Nadine came in.
Cassie hated feedback nearly as much as OP. OP was about your body; feedback was about your mind.
Stephanie was the first to her feet. She had been at Peaceful Cove for over a year. She would have been vaguely pretty—with blond hair, blue eyes, and a heart-shaped face—if she hadn’t had angry red zits all over her cheeks and nose. She moved as if she wished she were invisible—head down, shoulders curled over. As a Level Four, she was allowed to look people in the eyes, but she acted as if she were still a Level One.
“I’m really scared.” Her voice was high-pitched and babyish. “I’m scared I’m getting anorexia again. It’s not so much not eating—even if it’s easy not to eat much here—it’s more just the way it feels. I hate myself. I feel so disgusting.” She made a fist and hit herself, hard, on the thigh. Cassie, who was sitting next to her, could see the red mark her fist had left. “I feel so insecure. I didn’t think it was going to come back. And now I don’t know what to do. My parents had to hospitalize me in seventh grade because I only weighed seventy-five pounds. I felt the same way then as I do now, like I’m always going to be alone. I try to pretend that everything is okay—but I know that’s how I’m going to end up.” Tears were running down her face, and she gulped air, the words almost random. “Like, if I get a Cat. Two, I feel like I’m letting everyone down.”