I was nervous for Oz. Gus was all happy-go-lucky on the outside, but there was a serious monster lurking beneath the surface of his skin. A patient monster.
I’d seen a lot of fucked up kids in my life, but Gus had this quiet long-suffering simmering. Almost like he was biding his time. He hated his dad and he hated his life, but he didn’t do a whole lot to change either. He was going to wait it out.
Or wait for the right opportunity to get out— the safer option between the two.
Voices in the kitchen caught my attention and I adjusted my course in the house to go straight there. I needed to report back to Oz. I’d hoped to shower and change first, but there was no point in putting off the conversation.
The Usenkos lived surrounded by extreme wealth. Their house was huge and filled with everything state of the art. They even had a live-in maid and security stationed around the walled perimeter. It was money like I had never experienced before. Yeah, it wasn’t mine, but someday I’d make my own money.
Someday I’d have everything the Usenkos had and more.
Stepping into the sprawling kitchen, I walked across the marble floor to where Oz sat at the center island while two lesser Russians stood delivering news. Frogs jumped around in my stomach when I recognized one of the men as Leon Valero.
If Oz was a shitty dad, Leon was somewhere closer to pond scum. He sat somewhere in the middle between my dad and Gus’s. And yet, he’d managed to keep an angel alive, so I couldn’t find it in my black heart to hate him as much as I wanted to.
I was even less inclined to want to kill him and that was annoying. Caroline Valero deserved a better life, a better father. I should want to murder the son of a bitch. But it was clear how much she loved him. Okay, maybe not in the traditional sense of the word love. Mostly she treated him like a child while he treated her like the grownup. But, there was this look in her eyes whenever someone talked down to her dad or threatened him. Her fists would curl and her lips would press into a straight line, she’d arm herself for battle and then secretly exact her revenge in creatively deviant ways.
She might not like him, but she did love him. I couldn’t find it in me to want the man dead.
She did that to me. She made me make stupid decisions and go against the things I knew were right. One day I would regret not hating Leon Valero as much as he deserved. But hopefully, when that day came, Caroline would be mine and he wouldn’t be able to touch us.
I remembered to make some noise with my feet so the men would realize I was here. Oz hated it when I moved silently through the house. He said boys my age were supposed to make noise, that if I didn’t he was likely to accidentally shoot me.
It wasn’t as easy as it sounded. I’d spent the majority of my life trying to be completely invisible. I shuffled my feet on the marble tiles and Oz, Leon, and Fat Jack turned at the sound.
Oz assessed me for a long moment, one eyebrow rising expectantly. “Well?”
“He said he would do it,” I shared, referring to the newest detective on the Russian payroll. “He said as long as we don’t hurt his family, he’ll do whatever we need him to.”
Oz’s upper lip curled. “Does he mean his wife? Or his mistress?”
Or his favorite stripper at Ricky D’s? I kept my cynicism to myself. I wasn’t supposed to have an opinion. Not yet. I was merely supposed to do whatever I was told.
And not fuck up.
This was the easy part. It was easy to run errands. It was easy to be told what to do. The ladder I intended to climb would be much more difficult, but I had a plan. I would get to where I wanted. No matter what.
And then Oz and Leon could report to me.
Hell, everyone could report to me.
“He says he can’t have the file for you until next week.”
Oz’s hard glare didn’t move, didn’t flinch. He didn’t like the information I’d given him and if I didn’t offer good news soon, he was going to want a face to obliterate. Hopefully he’d pick Leon or Fat Jack and not Gus.
Gus didn’t need another reason to want to murder his dad.
“And what did you tell him?” Oz finally asked, wrestling his control into submission. Leon flinched behind him and I had to suppress a smile.
It always amazed me what cowards grown men could be.
I knew that it was wrong, but I couldn’t help enjoying men squirm in Oz’s presence. The power he exuded was nothing but terrifying, and men twice his size couldn’t seem to brave the tumultuous tempest that was Oz Usenko. He didn’t even raise his voice. He simply sat back in his chair and flexed his hand signaling he was ready to bash someone’s head in; we just didn’t want it to be one of us.
Shrugging, I put Leon and Jack out of their misery. “I said that wasn’t good enough. If he wanted to protect his family he’d get it to us by Wednesday.”
“That’s tomorrow,” Oz reminded me.
I shrugged again. “He shouldn’t keep the bosses waiting.”
Oz nodded, a sign of approval. “Well done, kid.” He turned back to Leon but added a quiet, “The kids are downstairs.”
Kids meant Caroline was here. Oz never referred to Atticus as a kid. Speaking of… Dread mingled with the ice already coating my bones, stiffening my arms and legs. “Where’s Atticus?”
Oz gave me his profile, a smirk lifting the side of his mouth I could see. “Out. Caroline’s bratva now anyway. He wouldn’t hurt her. He can’t hurt her.”
My shoulders relaxed. Oz was right. It had only been a couple months since Caroline had gotten Atticus in trouble in front of the entire brotherhood, but I knew he was still furious. I heard him talking to one of his friends two weeks ago about what they were going to do to get her back. The next few minutes were a blackout for me, but eventually I realized I had tackled Atticus in his garage and punched the crap out of his face.
He still had the bruises to prove it.
His friends had pulled me off before I could do real damage. And then they’d retaliated. Three against one wasn’t great odds. Even for me. Luckily Oz had intervened before they’d done too much damage.
I still had the bruises to prove it.
“She’s not made yet.” Leon’s reminder cut through the room. It was the most tremulous I’d ever seen the man.
Oz and I turned to him at the same time. “Only because the pakhan don’t want to tattoo a child,” Oz reminded. “She’ll be soon enough.”
Leon’s eyes narrowed. This was interesting. I didn’t think the bastard had it in him to want to keep his daughter out of the life. He seemed to bring her into it every chance he got.
Although he hadn’t pushed her in front of the pakhan. That had been me.
A warm feeling of accomplishment settled in my chest. Even the bosses had been impressed with how quickly I’d orchestrated their final task. Now nothing could take me away from the syndicate. Or Caroline Valero. Our futures were tied together, a tangle of knots that couldn’t be undone.
Leon’s glare moved to me. I realized I was smiling and quickly wiped a cold hand over my face, rubbing it free of emotion.
“She’s lucky,” I heard Oz tell Leon as I left the men to their conversation. “She will be a great asset to the brotherhood.”
I thought about sticking around to hear the rest of their conversation, but I was anxious to find Caroline before Leon was done. I shrugged off my coat and tossed it on the foot of my bed before toeing out of my shoes and grabbing a fresh shirt. I tore off my damp shirt and closed the door behind me, struggling to put on the clean one and walk at the same time.
My hair stuck up, damp and wild from the sleet. I tried to smooth it down by running my fingers through it as I rounded the corner to the basement rec room.
The sight of her squeezed my chest and my feet stopped altogether. She was sitting on the pool table, laughing as Gus entertained her with ridiculous shots. Her short hair was tucked behind her ears, save for one alluring hunk that fell over her eyes.
She was young. I knew that. Thr
ee years younger than me. But she was also the loveliest creature I had ever seen. My entire world felt like the gloomy, icy day outside. Except for her. She was the light I had never seen until now. She was the pure and innocent and beautiful I had never been allowed to touch until now.
I’d kissed her the night we met in the warehouse. She hadn’t been able to meet my eyes completely since. Part of me regretted embarrassing her like that. An even smaller part of me regretted manipulating her into what she did before I kissed her.
Those slivers of good humanity were crushed beneath the greater desires in me. To claim her. To mark her as my own. To make her love me. To make her want to keep me the way I wanted to keep her forever.
“Oh—hey, man,” Gus said nonchalantly when he caught me standing in the doorway.
Caroline turned to see who was here. “Sayer,” she whispered. Her eyes got big and she licked her lips. I’d surprised her.
My lips lifted on one side and I held her widened gaze. “Hey, Six.”
Color flooded her cheeks and she immediately dropped her eyes to the floor. “Gus said you were on a job.”
“I just got back.” I walked over to the pool table to stand closer to her, lured by her magnetic pull. “Oz said you were down here.”
Slowly her gaze lifted. “You came down here to see me?”
Realizing how pathetic that sounded, I picked up one of the pool balls and rolled it around on the green felt. “I live here.”
“Yeah, he’s the brother I never wanted,” Gus grunted, taking another shot and sinking a few balls.
I laughed, thankful Gus was here to break up the tension. I couldn’t control myself around Caroline. I wanted her too much. If Gus hadn’t been here, I was likely to carry her over my shoulder up the stairs and lock her in my room. Or do something even stupider, like kiss her again. Or even stupider than that, tell her how much I liked her.
She was too young for this shit. I had to get this burn for her under control or I was going to scare her off.
Not that I’d tolerate her distance. Not that I’d let her get away from me.
“You’re right,” I told Gus. “Things were much better when it was just you and Atticus.”
Gus snarled, glancing at the door to make sure the mention of his name hadn’t conjured the devil. Now there was a real psychopath. Atticus and my dad could have been best friends had they known each other— and worked for the same family.
Atticus had told me once that he’d met my dad. He’d told me what a pussy he was and how my old man had cowered under the shadow of the Russians. I’d stared him dead in the eyes and called him out. “Bullshit.”
Atticus had shrugged and left the room. It was as much of a confession as I would ever get out of him. But I didn’t need his approval to admit my dad was a fucking demon. I’d lived with him for thirteen years. He didn’t cower for anyone. It was his rage that had poisoned his mind, turned his fists into hammers and his soul to a black abyss. He wasn’t afraid of anyone. He wasn’t smart enough to feel fear.
Caroline turned to Gus again. “How’s the plan going by the way?”
Gus smirked at her, shaking his head. “As well as you’d expect it to go.”
“What plan?” I asked. Caroline’s whole body had crumpled at the bad news.
“Augustus!” Oz called from the top of the staircase.
Gus dropped the pool stick and didn’t hesitate to go when summoned. “Duty calls,” he murmured.
Caroline and I watched him disappear as the air around us took on an electric quality, standing the hairs on my arms straight. And it had nothing to do with the winter weather outside.
Turning back to her, I asked again, “What plan?”
She moved her body to face mine more fully. “I want Gus to get Atticus shipped off to military school.” Her lips spread in a small smile. “I realize this family rewards bad behavior though, so I told Gus to start doing chores and good deeds around the house and blaming them on Atticus. I’m hoping Oz will get so pissed at Atticus’s kindness that he’ll send him away.”
“Not a half bad plan,” I laughed.
She made a pouty face. “Yeah, but nobody is going to believe Atticus is responsible for any of the nice things. He’s too evil.”
“That’s a good point,” I agreed with her. “Why are you trying to get him sent away anyway?”
Her big eyes widened again, turning watery with fear. I wanted to pull her into my body and wrap my arms around her. I wanted to shut us in this room until she felt safe again, until she understood how I would do anything to protect her.
“So Atticus can’t kill me,” she whispered. She glanced at the door, to me, and then back to the door again. “He’s plotting my death. I know it.”
“Why?”
“Because of the…” she waved at my neck area where the key hung from a silver chain. “Because of what happened at the warehouse. He’s going to get me back. I know it.”
I shook my head. “He can’t,” I promised. “You’re bratva now. You’re safe. He can’t touch you.”
Her lips pursed in that straight line. “I’m not bratva yet.”
The same thing her dad had said. Unease and frustration rubbed together in my gut. “You might as well be,” I told her, not knowing if that was comforting or terrifying. “You just don’t have the tattoo yet.”
Her gaze dropped to my chest where my own tattoo was hidden beneath my t-shirt. “I don’t want the tattoo. I don’t want to be bratva.”
Her voice was raw with honesty, broken with fear. I stepped closer and pressed my fingers to her lips, hating her words. Didn’t she see the good that would come out of this? The possibilities? She was coveted by the pakhan, by the most powerful crime family in DC. She was specially requested. They wouldn’t let anything happen to her. She’d get to pick the jobs she wanted. She would have full protection. She’d have a future that could take her anywhere she wanted to go.
As long as she didn’t leave the family though. Obviously.
“It’s too late to think like that,” I whispered to her, dipping my head to meet her gaze. Maybe I should kiss her again. Maybe that would help her feel better.
She gasped, grabbing my hands with hers, peeling the one away from her lips. “Your hands are freezing!” She wrapped hers around mine and pressed them to her chest.
Warm. Wonderful. Perfect. I closed my eyes against the sensation and let the utter bliss of the moment wash over me.
Had anyone ever touched me this gently? Had anyone ever cared that my hands were cold before? Or that I was cold? Or that I was freezing to my literal death?
The answer to those questions hurt bad enough that I stepped even closer to Caroline, drinking her acceptance and care, treasuring the considerate way she touched me.
“They feel better now,” I murmured.
She looked up at me again, searching for something with those sharp brown eyes. “I’m scared,” she confessed. “I’m scared of being bratva.”
“You don’t need to be,” I told her quickly. “You’ll be with me. And I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.”
She nodded, accepting that as truth. Satisfaction spread through me. I stood up straighter, my shoulders squared. She knew I would take care of her. She trusted me to keep her safe.
Suddenly her eyes darkened and with it my good mood. “But what if… what if they separate us?”
“They won’t,” I nearly growled. “I know they won’t.”
“How do you know?”
Because nothing could separate us. Not the pakhan. Not the bratva. Not the whole wide fucking earth. “Because I won’t let them.”
Her eyes moved back and forth, searching for that something again. “Caro!” her dad called, closer than I wanted him to be.
She jumped off the table, putting space between us. “You better not be lying to me, Sayer Wesley.”
I licked dry lips and nodded. “I’m not.” And I wasn’t. Not about this anyway. This was absolute truth
as far as I was concerned.
“Caro!” her dad called again.
“In here,” she yelled back. Then to me, she lowered her voice and said, “Together then. We’re in this together. I trust you.”
I couldn’t help the smile that split my lips. “We’re in this together.”
“Let’s go,” Leon boomed from the doorway, interrupting the best conversation I’d ever had.
“Bye, Sayer,” Caroline said to me, a secretive smile on her lips.
“Bye, Six,” I told her, feeling like more of a man than I ever had in my entire life.
I stayed in the rec room and let Caro walk out with her dad. “That kid’s a punk,” I heard Leon say to her once they’d reached the stairs.
“You’re wrong,” she told him adamantly. “And you better be nice to him. He’s going to be your boss someday.”
Leon snorted. “Yeah, right.”
“You’ll see,” Caroline insisted. “He’s special. He’s…”
I strained to listen to more, but they had moved beyond where I could hear them. Leaning back against the pool table, I realized I was smiling so big my cheeks hurt. God, Caroline fucking Valero. The bratva were a necessary evil, a means to an end. She was the real reason I did any of this. She was the real reason I would rise in the ranks and take over.
She was the reason for everything. And one day I would tell her that, share just how much I’d sacrificed so she could have the very best life. I just couldn’t tell her everything. There were some secrets even Caroline didn’t need to know.
Chapter Six
Caroline
Present Day
When I reemerged from my bedroom, Sayer, Gus and Cage were standing in a huddle in the living room, speaking in hushed tones. I eyed them suspiciously but let them have their final words. Obviously, I wanted to know what they were talking about. Obviously, I suspected they were talking about me. But doubt and suspicion had nearly crippled me. And right now, I needed to be full speed. I couldn’t let the past or the present muddle my mind. I could ask questions after I got Juliet back.