“Don’t.”
The Academy, Realm’s Heart Island
The future Princess Nessa Summerwind had experienced real freedom for the first time in her life.
It was intoxicating.
She was now a bona-fide Academy student, away from her mother’s eyes, as she suddenly had to face her upcoming tasks of becoming an Empress.
Nessa loved all the lessons and life at the Academy from the start, but this was something different. She felt independent and grown-up.
After a luxuriously long lie-in in her Royal Suite, Nessa decided to go down to the stables and take her falcon for a ride. On approaching, she could make out the figure of Octarian meticulously brushing the feathers of his bird.
“Don’t you think the poor thing is clean enough now?” Nessa asked. Octarian turned around in surprise; he hadn’t noticed her. He looked at her with a tired smile.
“Mornin’ little one,” he said and turned back to his falcon.
‘Please don’t ask me about Ariessa or Eldorine,’ he thought.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” Nessa replied in surprise.
“Planning on what?” Octarian looked at her in confusion.
“Erm, what you just said,” she said uncertainly.
“Having a good morning?” he shook his head and gave his shoulder a little shrug.
Nessa decided to start a new conversation, as the first one didn’t make much sense.
“So how are things?” she asked cheerfully addressing Octarian’s back.
‘They couldn’t be bloody worse,’ he mumbled.
“I’m so sorry to hear,” Nessa said empathically. Octarian turned back to her and looked at her with an annoyed look.
“What are you doing? And what are you sorry about?”
“You just said…”
“I haven’t said a word.”
‘Silly girl,’ she heard him say, but his lips weren’t moving.
Nessa suddenly felt light-headed. She felt the blood drain from her face. There was something wrong with her.
She didn’t dare to say anything. She was sure Octarian spoke. Under other circumstances she would have thought he was playing a trick on her, but she was sure he wasn’t in a playful mood. Maybe she was going crazy.
‘I need to sit down,’ she thought.
“Are you all right? You don’t look so good. Come, let’s sit you down,” Octarian said with sudden concern.
‘She’ll pass out any second,’ Nessa could hear Octarian’s voice again.
‘Oh Gods, I need to talk to someone, I don’t want to end up in the Royal Sanatorium for the Mentally Exhausted,’ she thought desperately, sinking to the floor.
“I’ll go and get someone,” Octarian said, this time for real.
‘Nocturnia, I need to see Nocturnia,’ she thought, trying to calm her breathing.
“I’ll go and find Nocturnia,” he said. By now he was seriously worried.
“Octy… do you hear voices? In your head I mean.”
“Well, I have been asked before whether I’m crazy, but never in such an understated way. But no, I don’t.”
Nessa was scared, but she had to try something.
She looked at Octarian and concentrated. He jumped three times on his left foot, then twice on his right one.
“Why did you do that?” she asked, not knowing what kind of reply she was hoping for. Octarian looked at her with amused confusion.
“I have no idea; the crazy from you must be rubbing off on me. Anyway, I better go, you’ve got me worried. Stay put and calm down, I’ll be back with Professor Nocturnia as soon as I can,” he promised, breathing a quick kiss on her forehead.
He swung himself on his falcon, and made his way towards the Main Building of the Academy.
When he approached, he could see a commotion at the Canal at the main entrance, but couldn’t see what it was about, even though he craned his neck as best as he could. He decided to investigate after he made sure Nessa was in safe hands. At least it would take his mind off his miserable life.
***
Octarian was told that he would find Nocturnia in the Professors’ Room office.
While he was waiting for her to come out, he was glued to the window trying to see what the crowd in front of the Academy was gathered around. He was sure it was one of the Metal Swans that he had heard about, but had never seen before.
At last, the door opened and Nocturnia came out. Octarian repeated his conversation with Nessa to her.
“What’s wrong with her? You know she’s like my little sister. She seriously got me worried.”
She patted his hand.
“She’ll be fine. I’m sure it’s only woman’s problems,” she smiled at him.
“Oh, right… that’s fine then,” he blushed, and the matter was settled.
“Noc… don’t you think we should talk? About… us… you know.”
“No dear, we’re fine.”
She quickly breathed a light kiss on his cheek before Andarian joined them.
“Master Sunflare, before you sustain a serious injury because of the intense craning of your neck, please feel free to inspect the Kronurian machine displayed in front of the Main Entrance,” he said to Octarian, who took him up on the offer with an eager glint in his eyes and took off.
‘Oh my, you and young Sunflare. Bad sister,’ Andarian projected with a chuckle, slapping Nocturnia’s hand.
‘Oh, shut up. He’s a senior student, I didn’t break any rules.’
‘I’ve yet to see a Mountainborn break a rule.’
‘I’m so sorry I don’t have the nonchalant approach to rules and regulations you Lazulians have. Maybe that’s one of the reasons you made me Third Servant.’
‘Every time… It’s just so easy to push your buttons.’
‘I hate to repeat myself, but… shut up, Andarian.’
‘Fine, change of topic. So it has begun. Your protégée seems to be ready.’
‘I’m going to her right now. Will you come? Your presence would give our conversation some gravitas.’
Andarian shook his head.
‘I think what Nessa needs most right now is a friend, not an old geezer who would intimidate her further.’
Nocturnia looked at him affectionately.
‘Alright, alright, let’s not get soppy. Off you go,’ Andarian dismissed her.
Royal Palace of Warhorn, Realm’s Heart Island
Ari,
Yet again, I’m begging You to forgive me. I’m so sorry about what happened. Once you hear me out, You will see that I didn’t make You wait on purpose.
Please talk to me.
It’s killing me that You won’t see me.
Love, Octarian
Ariessa read through the letter for the twentieth time.
She poised her pen to start writing her response, but she had no idea what to say. She buried her head in her hands, after she flung the pen into the fireplace.
She was a real and proud Covaxian.
She hated nothing more than lies and deception.
She had always believed in open warfare and full frontal attacks, both in war, and in love. Not that she had had many romantic experiences up until recently.
She would have loved nothing more than to tell Octarian about everything.
Yet, a dark and unfamiliar force held her back. That was the only explanation she could come up with.
Ariessa hated the idea that Octarian must think of her as being a spoilt little girl. Or rather, a petty, spoilt Princess. One that would harbour a major upset about something as trivial as to having to wait for a while.
True, she had a short temper, but once she vented her anger, it evaporated as quickly as the red mist had descended on her.
Yet, she found herself hiding out in her father’s palace. Only to avoid Octarian.
Did she love him? A few weeks ago she would have admitted that she did. Maybe. But now… Her feelings for the other one seemed to have changed
everything.
She closed her eyes, as a wave of mixed emotions swept over her.
Guilt. Shame. Excitement. Euphoria. Fear.
“Please, Warrior, help me. Please, Warrior, don’t let it happen to me. Please, Warrior, give me strength. Please,” she sank to her knees and prayed to her God.
Finally, she stood up, took a new pen and started writing.
Octy,
I need some time.
Ari
She couldn’t face him now.
Not after what she had done.
She needed time.
The Academy, Realm’s Heart Island
Nocturnia could make out the figure of Nessa lying on the grass in front of the Falcon Stables. She emptied her mind to make sure her cousin wouldn’t be invaded by her thoughts.
When Nessa sensed her approaching, she sat up. She was chalk white.
“Thank you so much for coming, Noc. I think there’s something wrong with me,” she whispered with fear in her eyes.
‘No. You’re fine. Can you hear me?’ Nocturnia projected.
Nessa’s hands flew to her mouth.
‘That’s it, I’m crazy,’ she thought.
“No, Nessa, you’re not. You’re becoming one of us,” Nocturnia said in a clear voice.
“You can hear what I think? How is this possible?”
“Come, let’s take a walk,” Nocturnia offered her hand to Nessa, pulling her to her feet.
For a while, they walked towards the Academy buildings without talking.
‘Whenever you’re ready,’ Nocturnia thought.
“I don’t even know where to begin… You don’t seem to be that surprised. Are there others who can do this?”
“Yes. Every single Academy member.”
“Why didn’t you warn me?”
“I couldn’t. We had to wait until your Aptitudes kicked in. We hoped it wouldn’t happen quite so early,” Nocturnia replied, trying not to feel guilty.
“We? Who is we?”
“Pretty much the whole of our… community,” Nocturnia found the task of initiating a new Adept much harder than she had imagined previously.
Nessa stopped and looked at her mutinously.
“So… you and your… mates have been spying on me to see what I do and when I do it?”
“No, it’s not like that,” Nocturnia wasn’t very happy with her professional explanation. She struggled to translate the elevated goals of Equimancers to a moody Unpleasant. She wished she could have blackmailed Andarian into joining her.
“So when did you know I had this thing? Is that why you were so friendly in Lectricka in the summer?”
“I had an inkling, but I wasn’t sure back then. All I knew was that you would do well at the Academy,” Nocturnia was getting defensive.
Nessa was scrutinising her. She tried to empty her mind.
“Oh my Gods… you and Octarian. Now it all makes sense,” Nessa huffed and stomped off.
‘Impressive,’ Nocturnia thought.
She always envied Air Apts who could read and control minds like no others. She would have gladly swapped her Fire for Air any day. The way Nessa unlocked thoughts that were as well hidden as possible, proved to her again, that they had an exceptional talent on their hands.
Nevertheless, she wouldn’t be manipulated by an Unpleasant.
Despite the chilly temperatures, Nocturnia sat down on the grass.
Sure enough, Nessa came back with a thunderous expression on her face. Her momentum seemed to have been stopped by Nocturnia’s willingness to face whatever was thrown at her.
“I don’t understand. Why has nobody told me about this?” she sank to the ground next to her cousin.
“Because there are not many who have the knowledge.”
“So it just happens from one day to another. Bamm… suddenly it’s there?” Nessa gesticulated to emphasise her outrage.
“Yes. It’s like biology… well, maybe it is. The jury is still out on that.
It’s like when you became a woman. That happened from one day to another,” Nocturnia looked at Nessa in the hope she would accept her explanation.
“Yes, but I’ve been told about that in advance. I was prepared. Why did nobody warn me about this?”
“Because it might never have happened. There are very few people who experience this.”
“You’re lying. You knew it would happen to me,” Nessa said through clenched teeth after rummaging in Nocturnia’s mind.
“Yes. You’re right. I didn’t mean to lie to you. After we saw the signs we knew it would happen to you sooner or later. As I said earlier, we hoped it would happen in a year or so, when you’re more prepared. We meant to protect you.”
“What from? Is this some terminal affliction?” Nessa’s anger turned into fear.
“No! It’s the most wonderful thing that can happen to anyone,” Nocturnia exclaimed passionately. She couldn’t hold Nessa’s gaze.
“Fine. It does come at a price,” it was the last thing she was ready to share with Nessa for the time being.
She again thanked herself for not agreeing to teach junior years. She was sure, that flinging students out of her class-room through the window would be frowned upon. And that’s what most Unpleasants made her want to do.
She stood up.
“Come. We shall talk once we arrived at our destination,” Nocturnia went ahead of her cousin and did her best to rid herself on any thoughts.
She could feel Nessa probing her mind.
Nessa caught up with her and grabbed her robe.
“Why did I feel the need to talk to you about this, rather than to my mother?”
“Your sense of self-preservation must have kicked in at the same time your abilities made an appearance. Nobody, apart from our kind must know about your powers. Now, please stop manhandling me.”
Thankfully, they reached the Main Building of the Academy. Nocturnia went straight to the Professor’s Lounge. She turned around to see Nessa hesitating to enter the room.
For students it was a scary and sacred place. The only time they were required to knock and wait was when they were in trouble. Even then, they were never permitted entrance. Usually a dismayed, disappointed or furious Professor would appear.
“Come on then,” Nocturnia nodded at Nessa.
Suddenly she felt guilty. She was meant to be the girl’s Mentor and help her accept her situation. With as much empathy as she could muster.
Being a Mountainborn, Nocturnia didn’t believe in wrapping the hard truths of life in soft paper. She thought that if you had to hit someone in the head with a brick, a nice pink wrapping wouldn’t soften the blow. Seeing Nessa’s apprehension, she realised that she couldn’t apply these rules to everybody. She turned around and took her cousin’s hand.
“Come with me, I’d like to show you…” she didn’t quite know how to describe the awe, admiration and love for the Hidden City.
She knew Nessa sensed the change in her mood.
Nessa stepped through the door she knew her fellow students called the “Door of Doom”. As it was an Academy Break, the room was empty, but the lack of Professors was not what struck her.
As soon as she stepped in, her eyes were drawn to the wall that was the Structure itself.
“Yes, the Academy buildings were built around the Structure,” Nocturnia explained, as soon as she read Nessa’s thoughts.
“Can you see the doorway in the wall?” Nocturnia asked.
Nessa’s gaze turned towards the wall that looked like light-blue glass.
There were dozens of book-shelves lined up against it, but there was a section free of any kind of furniture.
She looked at it for a few seconds, and then she could see it; a fine line that seemed to trace the shape of an arched door.
About six feet in front of it, she could see a shape on the ground that seemed to be different from the floor pattern. She noticed Nocturnia walking around it. She foll
owed suit.
They both stood in front of the Archway.
Nessa felt mesmerised. The longer she looked at the door, the stronger she could feel it pulling her towards it. There was nothing in the World she wanted more than to go through it.
She took a step forward.
“Wait,” she heard Nocturnia say.
“Why? I want this,” she replied.
“Firstly, your mother would kill me if I let you do it now. If you go through, there’s no going back. You don’t know everything about us just yet.
Once you go through, you will become an Equimancer, once and for all. You know how we live; unmarried and childless. Once inside, you can’t undo it.”
“What if I don’t go through it?” Nessa asked.
Nocturnia sighed, and led Nessa to one of the tables of the office.
“Come, let’s sit down. I wish there was an easy way to tell you.
If you decide not to do it... well, then it won’t be easy.
Our powers are very strong; if used for a wrong cause, they can do an incredible amount of harm. A few Apts in the past did this, and they turned the rest of the Realm against us all.”
“So I don’t really have a choice. I either join or will be hunted down.
I thought we all had the luxury of free will,” Nessa said, outraged.
“The old dilemma between destiny and free will. Look at it this way; you were destined to be an Equimancer, and you can freely decide whether to become one willingly. You always have a choice. They might be tough sometimes.”
Nocturnia looked into Nessa’s eyes.
“Leaving the Realm?” the girl shouted.
“By choosing to come to me, you have made me your Mentor. Should you decide not to join us, I will vouch for you until you’ve finished studying at the Academy.”
“Where on Earth would I go afterwards?”
“There are options on every continent. We are in touch with them. Well, with most of them,” Nocturnia said.
“Go on then.”
“You could go to Inner Kronuria; the Jesterlanders are basically a huge community of Apts from their entire continent.”
“Aren’t they all insane?”
“Well, hard to tell whether an inventive mind is that of a genius or a lunatic, but one fact remains; we can mostly thank Kronurian inventions for the progress in the World. They are free and focused, and mostly interested in pure Air, pure Earth or the mix of both.”