“I’m afraid this isn’t what we meant,” she began. “Mr. Wilcox and I never intended the cases to be touched. For instance, these books are my brother’s. We are storing them for him and for my sister, who is abroad. When you kindly undertook to look after things, we never expected you to do so much. ”
“The house has been empty long enough,” said the old woman.
Margaret refused to argue. “I dare say we didn’t explain,” she said civilly. “It has been a mistake, and very likely our mistake.”
“Mrs. Wilcox, it has been mistake upon mistake for fifty years. The house is Mrs. Wilcox‘s, and she would not desire it to stand empty any longer.”
To help the poor decaying brain, Margaret said:
“Yes, Mrs. Wilcox’s house, the mother of Mr. Charles.”
“Mistake upon mistake,” said Miss Avery. “Mistake upon mistake.”
“Well. I don’t know,” said Margaret, sitting down in one of her own chairs. “I really don’t know what’s to be done.” She could not help laughing.
The other said: “Yes, it should be a merry house enough.”
“I don’t know—I dare say. Well, thank you very much, Miss Avery. Yes, that’s all right. Delightful.”
“There is still the parlour.” She went through the door opposite and drew a curtain. Light flooded the drawing-room and the drawing-room furniture from Wickham Place. “And the dining-room.” More curtains were drawn, more windows were flung open to the spring. “Then through here—” Miss Avery continued passing and repassing through the hall. Her voice was lost, but Margaret heard her pulling up the kitchen blind. “I’ve not finished here yet,” she announced, returning. “There’s still a deal to do. The farm lads will carry your great wardrobes upstairs, for there is no need to go into expense at Hilton.”
“It is all a mistake,” repeated Margaret, feeling that she must put her foot down. “A misunderstanding. Mr. Wilcox and I are not going to live at Howards End.”
“Oh, indeed. On account of his hay fever?”
“We have settled to build a new home for ourselves in Sussex, and part of this furniture—my part—will go down there presently.” She looked at Miss Avery intently, trying to understand the kink in her brain. Here was no maundering old woman. Her wrinkles were shrewd and humorous. She looked capable of scathing wit and also of high but unostentatious nobility.
“You think that you won’t come back to live here, Mrs. Wilcox, but you will.”
“That remains to be seen,” said Margaret, smiling. “We have no intention of doing so for the present. We happen to need a much larger house. Circumstances oblige us to give big parties. Of course, some day—one never knows, does one?”
Miss Avery retorted: “Some day! Tcha! tcha! Don’t talk about some day. You are living here now.”
“Am I?”
“You are living here, and have been for the last ten minutes, if you ask me.”
It was a senseless remark, but with a queer feeling of disloyalty Margaret rose from her chair. She felt that Henry had been obscurely censured. They went into the dining-room, where the sunlight poured in upon her mother’s chiffonier, and upstairs, where many an old god peeped from a new niche. The furniture fitted extraordinarily well. In the central room—over the hall, the room that Helen had slept in four years ago—Miss Avery had placed Tibby’s old bassinette.
“The nursery,” she said.
Margaret turned away without speaking.
At last everything was seen. The kitchen and lobby were still stacked with furniture and straw, but, as far as she could make out, nothing had been broken or scratched. A pathetic display of ingenuity! Then they took a friendly stroll in the garden. It had gone wild since her last visit. The gravel sweep was weedy, and grass had sprung up at the very jaws of the garage. And Evie’s rockery was only bumps. Perhaps Evie was responsible for Miss Avery’s oddness. But Margaret suspected that the cause lay deeper, and that the girl’s silly letter had but loosed the irritation of years.
“It’s a beautiful meadow,” she remarked. It was one of those open-air drawing-rooms that have been formed, hundreds of years ago, out of the smaller fields. So the boundary hedge zigzagged down the hill at right angles, and at the bottom there was a little green annex—a sort of powder-closet for the cows.
“Yes, the maidy’s well enough,” said Miss Avery, “for those, that is, who don’t suffer from sneezing.” And she cackled maliciously. “I’ve seen Charlie Wilcox go out to my lads in hay time—oh, they ought to do this—they mustn’t do that—he’d learn them to be lads. And just then the tickling took him. He has it from his father, with other things. There’s not one Wilcox that can stand up against a field in June—I laughed fit to burst while he was courting Ruth.”
“My brother gets hay fever too,” said Margaret.
“This house lies too much on the land for them. Naturally, they were glad enough to slip in at first. But Wilcoxes are better than nothing, as I see you’ve found.”
Margaret laughed.
“They keep a place going, don’t they? Yes, it is just that.”
“They keep England going, it is my opinion.”
But Miss Avery upset her by replying: “Ay, they breed like rabbits. Well, well, it’s a funny world. But He who made it knows what He wants in it, I suppose. If Mrs. Charlie is expecting her fourth, it isn’t for us to repine.”
“They breed and they also work,” said Margaret, conscious of some invitation to disloyalty, which was echoed by the very breeze and by the songs of the birds. “It certainly is a funny world, but so long as men like my husband and his sons govern it, I think it’ll never be a bad one—never really bad.”
“No, better’n nothing,” said Miss Avery, and turned to the wych-elm.
On their way back to the farm she spoke of her old friend much more clearly than before. In the house Margaret had wondered whether she quite distinguished the first wife from the second. Now she said: “I never saw much of Ruth after her grandmother died, but we stayed civil. It was a very civil family. Old Mrs. Howard never spoke against anybody, nor let anyone be turned away without food. Then it was never ‘Trespassers will be prosecuted’ in their land, but would people please not come in. Mrs. Howard was never created to run a farm.”
“Had they no men to help them?” Margaret asked.
Miss Avery replied: “Things went on until there were no men.” “Until Mr. Wilcox came along,” corrected Margaret, anxious that her husband should receive his dues.
“I suppose so; but Ruth should have married a—no disrespect to you to say this, for I take it you were intended to get Wilcox anyway, whether she got him first or no.”
“Whom should she have married?”
“A soldier!” exclaimed the old woman. “Some real soldier.”
Margaret was silent. It was a criticism of Henry’s character far more trenchant than any of her own. She felt dissatisfied.
“But that’s all over,” she went on. “A better time is coming now, though you’ve kept me long enough waiting. In a couple of weeks I’ll see your lights shining through the hedge of an evening. Have you ordered in coals?”
“We are not coming,” said Margaret firmly. She respected Miss Avery too much to humour her. “No. Not coming. Never coming. It has all been a mistake. The furniture must be re-packed at once, and I am very sorry, but I am making other arrangements, and must ask you to give me the keys.”
“Certainly, Mrs. Wilcox,” said Miss Avery, and resigned her duties with a smile.
Relieved at this conclusion, and having sent her compliments to Madge, Margaret walked back to the station. She had intended to go to the furniture warehouse and give directions for removal, but the muddle had turned out more extensive than she expected, so she decided to consult Henry. It was as well that she did this. He was strongly against employing the local man whom he had previously recommended, and advised her to store in London after all.
But before this could be done, an unexpecte
d trouble fell upon her.
Chapter XXXIV
It was not unexpected entirely. Aunt Juley’s health had been bad all the winter. She had had a long series of colds and coughs, and had been too busy to get rid of them. She had scarcely promised her niece “to really take my tiresome chest in hand,” when she caught a chill and developed acute pneumonia. Margaret and Tibby went down to Swanage. Helen was telegraphed for, and that spring party that after all gathered in that hospitable house had all the pathos of fair memories. On a perfect day, when the sky seemed blue porcelain, and the waves of the discreet little bay beat gentlest of tattoos upon the sand, Margaret hurried up through the rhododendrons, confronted again by the senselessness of Death. One death may explain itself, but it throws no light upon another: the groping inquiry must begin anew. Preachers or scientists may generalize, but we know that no generality is possible about those whom we love; not one heaven awaits them, not even one oblivion. Aunt Juley, incapable of tragedy, slipped out of life with odd little laughs and apologies for having stopped in it so long. She was very weak; she could not rise to the occasion, or realize the great mystery which all agree must await her; it only seemed to her that she was quite done up—more done up than ever before: that she saw and heard and felt less every moment; and that, unless something changed, she would soon feel nothing. Her spare strength she devoted to plans: could not Margaret take some steamer expeditions? were mackerel cooked as Tibby liked them? She worried herself about Helen’s absence, and also that she could be the cause of Helen’s return. The nurses seemed to think such interests quite natural, and perhaps hers was an average approach to the Great Gate. But Margaret saw Death stripped of any false romance; whatever the idea of Death may contain, the process can be trivial and hideous.
“Important—Margaret dear, take the Lulworth when Helen comes.”
“Helen won’t be able to stop, Aunt Juley. She has telegraphed that she can only get away just to see you. She must go back to Germany as soon as you are well.”
“How very odd of Helen! Mr. Wilcox—”
“Yes, dear?”
“Can he spare you?”
Henry wished her to come, and had been very kind. Yet again Margaret said so.
Mrs. Munt did not die. Quite outside her will, a more dignified power took hold of her and checked her on the downward slope. She returned, without emotion, as fidgety as ever. On the fourth day she was out of danger.
“Margaret—important,” it went on: “I should like you to have some companion to take walks with. Do try Miss Conder.”
“I have been a little walk with Miss Conder.”
“But she is not really interesting. If only you had Helen.”
“I have Tibby, Aunt Juley.”
“No, but he has to do his Chinese. Some real companion is what you need. Really, Helen is odd.”
“Helen is odd, very,” agreed Margaret.
“Not content with going abroad, why does she want to go back there at once?”
“No doubt she will change her mind when she sees us. She has not the least balance.”
That was the stock criticism about Helen, but Margaret’s voice trembled as she made it. By now she was deeply pained at her sister’s behaviour. It may be unbalanced to fly out of England, but to stop away eight months argues that the heart is awry as well as the head. A sick-bed could recall Helen, but she was deaf to more human calls; after a glimpse at her aunt, she would retire into her nebulous life behind some poste restante. She scarcely existed; her letters had become dull and infrequent; she had no wants and no curiosity. And it was all put down to poor Henry’s account! Henry, long pardoned by his wife, was still too infamous to be greeted by his sister-in-law. It was morbid, and, to her alarm, Margaret fancied that she could trace the growth of morbidity back in Helen’s life for nearly four years. The flight from Oniton; the unbalanced patronage of the Basts; the explosion of grief up on the Downs—all connected with Paul, an insignificant boy whose lips had kissed hers for a fraction of time. Margaret and Mrs. Wilcox had feared that they might kiss again. Foolishly: the real danger was reaction. Reaction against the Wilcoxes had eaten into her life until she was scarcely sane. At twenty-five she had an idée fixe. What hope was there for her as an old woman?
The more Margaret thought about it, the more alarmed she became. For many months she had put the subject away, but it was too big to be slighted now. There was almost a taint of madness. Were all Helen’s actions to be governed by a tiny mishap such as may happen to any young man or woman? Can human nature be constructed on lines so insignificant? The blundering little encounter at Howards End was vital. It propagated itself where graver intercourse lay barren; it was stronger than sisterly intimacy, stronger than reason or books. In one of her moods Helen had confessed that she still “enjoyed” it in a certain sense. Paul had faded, but the magic of his caress endured. And where there is enjoyment of the past there may also be reaction—propagation at both ends.
Well, it is odd and sad that our minds should be such seed-beds, and we without power to choose the seed. But man is an odd, sad creature as yet, intent on pilfering the earth, and heedless of the growths within himself. He cannot be bored about psychology. He leaves it to the specialist, which is as if he should leave his dinner to be eaten by a steam-engine. He cannot be bothered to digest his own soul. Margaret and Helen have been more patient, and it is suggested that Margaret has succeeded—so far as success is yet possible. She does understand herself, she has some rudimentary control over her own growth. Whether Helen has succeeded, one cannot say.
The day that Mrs. Munt rallied, Helen’s letter arrived. She had posted it at Munich, and would be in London herself on the morrow. It was a disquieting letter, though the opening was affectionate and sane.
DEAREST MEG,
Give Helen’s love to Aunt Juley. Tell her that I love, and have loved, her ever since I can remember. I shall be in London Thursday.
My address will be care of the bankers. I have not yet settled on a hotel, so write or wire to me there and give me detailed news. If Aunt Juley is much better, or if, for a terrible reason, it would be no good my coming down to Swanage, you must not think it odd if do not come. I have all sorts of plans in my head. I am living abroad at present, and want to get back as quickly as possible. Will you please tell me where our furniture is. I should like to take out one or two books; the rest are for you.
Forgive me, dearest Meg. This must read like rather a tiresome letter, but all letters are from your loving
HELEN
It was a tiresome letter, for it tempted Margaret to tell a lie. If she wrote that Aunt Juley was still in danger, her sister would come. Unhealthiness is contagious. We cannot be in contact with those who are in a morbid state without ourselves deteriorating. To “act for the best” might do Helen good, but would do herself harm, and, at the risk of disaster, she kept her colours flying a little longer. She replied that their aunt was much better, and awaited developments.
Tibby approved of her reply. Mellowing rapidly, he was a pleasanter companion than before. Oxford had done much for him. He had lost his peevishness, and could hide his indifference to people and his interest in food. But he had not grown more human. The years between eighteen and twenty-two, so magical for most, were leading him gently from boyhood to middle age. He had never known young-manliness, that quality which warms the heart till death, and gives Mr. Wilcox an imperishable charm. He was frigid, through no fault of his own, and without cruelty. He thought Helen wrong and Margaret right, but the family trouble was for him what a scene behind footlights is for most people. He had only one suggestion to make, and that was characteristic.
“Why don’t you tell Mr. Wilcox?”
“About Helen?”
“Perhaps he has come across that sort of thing.”
“He would do all he could, but—”
“Oh, you know best. But he is practical.”
It was the student’s belief in experts. Margaret demurr
ed for one or two reasons. Presently Helen’s answer came. She sent a telegram requesting the address of the furniture, as she would now return at once. Margaret replied: “Certainly not; meet me at the bankers at four.” She and Tibby went up to London. Helen was not at the bankers, and they were refused her address. Helen had passed into chaos.
Margaret put her arm around her brother. He was all that she had left, and never had he seemed more unsubstantial.
“Tibby love, what next?”
He replied: “It is extraordinary.”
“Dear, your judgment’s often clearer than mine. Have you any notion what’s at the back?”
“None, unless it’s something mental.”
“Oh—that!” said Margaret. “Quite impossible.” But the suggestion had been uttered, and in a few minutes she took it up herself. Nothing else explained. And London agreed with Tibby. The mask fell off the city, and she saw it for what it really is—a caricature of infinity. The familiar barriers, the streets along which she moved, the houses between which she had made her little journeys for so many years, became negligible suddenly. Helen seemed one with grimy trees and the traffic and the slowly flowing slabs of mud. She had accomplished a hideous act of renunciation and returned to the One. Margaret’s own faith held firm. She knew the human soul will be merged, if it be merged at all, with the stars and the sea. Yet she felt that her sister had been going amiss for many years. It was symbolic the catastrophe should come now, on a London afternoon, while rain fell slowly.
Henry was the only hope. Henry was definite. He might know of some paths in the chaos that were hidden from them, and she determined to take Tibby’s advice and lay the whole matter in his hands. They must call at his office. He could not well make it worse. She went for a few moments into St. Paul‘s, whose dome stands out of the welter so bravely, as if preaching the gospel of form. But within, St. Paul’s is as its surroundings—echoes and whispers, inaudible songs, invisible mosaics, wet footmarks crossing and recrossing the floor. Si monumentum requiris, circumspice: it points us back to London. There was no hope of Helen here.