My back teeth clicked together in aggravation. “I’m not here to sightsee.”
He chuckled and gave me a wink. “No shit. Nassir called me an hour ago and told me you were in town and trouble was bound to follow you. He asked me to keep an eye on you while you’re in my backyard. Apparently, you’re not supposed to be here and some pretty dangerous people are going to be really pissed when they find out you didn’t listen.”
I lifted a hand and rubbed my scar. My fingers twitched when I realized what I was doing, and I bit back a defensive remark as Benny watched the entire motion with careful eyes. Having a tell in my line of work could get you killed. Not that I had much hope of avoiding that fate anyway. I didn’t bother to ask how he found me. If Nassir knew I was here, Stark had probably passed along my location. No one could keep anything from Nassir if he wanted to know something.
“It’s the teenager, isn’t it? Race’s little princess? You were always dangerously oblivious to your own safety when it came to her. I’ve kept my distance while she was at school. Didn't want to risk running into Bax. But I haven’t heard anything that would suggest you needed to come running and put yourself right in Race’s crosshairs.” He sounded genuinely confused and I couldn’t blame him. I had no idea why I couldn’t stay away anymore. It was like there was a clock ticking down in the back of my head, and it finally chimed at midnight. I was at a crossroads in my life and I knew there was no going forward until I laid eyes on Karsen Carter one last time.
It was also good that Benny was still avoiding Bax. The big bruiser with the star tattooed on his face may have mellowed out considerably since he stopped underground fighting for Nassir and started playing house full time with his feisty girlfriend, Dovie. But Bax was still a brute, and he had a long memory. He was never going to forgive or forget that Benny had a hand in Dovie’s abduction. Not ever.
“I thought you were done doing favors for the boys back home.” It was easier to change the subject than admit I had no fucking clue what I was doing here either. “And she’s not a teenager anymore. Hasn’t been one for a very long time.” That part felt very important to remind everyone.
Benny rocked again in his expensive shoes and offered a shrug. “Hard to turn Nassir down when he really wants something. He made my new life possible. I wouldn’t have Echo if it wasn’t for him, and I always liked you, Booker.” No one knew much about Benny’s new girl, Echo. Rumor had it they met under some stressful circumstances and Benny was willing to sell his soul to the Devil to make a life with her. My surprise at this must have shown on my face because he chuckled. “You keep to yourself and play by your own rules. It’s the quiet ones you need to watch. You never really know what they’re thinking. I always admire that in a man who has limited options. You aligned yourself with dangerous men and made them fear you. Race is smart. He knew there was no way to intimidate you into staying away from the girl forever, so he manipulated you both into a situation where broken hearts were the only outcome. That’s fear, my friend. He didn’t want to take you on one on one, because he knew there was a chance he might lose. I respect a man who can make someone as sharp and as calculated as Hartman feel that way.”
That was a lot to take in. I shouldn’t feel a burst of pride that another ex-con, another man who had so much blood on his hands it would never wash off, was impressed by how far I’d come, but I did. When I was in prison, it was guys like Benny whom I’d aspired to be like. They were the ones no one fucked with. They were the ones other inmates avoided and whispered about reverently. When I was weak, pathetic, and scared, I told myself one day I was going to have the custom-tailored suit and flashy car. I promised myself one day I was going to be the baddest motherfucker on the block, and no one, and I meant no one, would ever put their hands on me or hurt me again. Benny’s words of praise brought all those youthful fears and fantasies back to the forefront. I didn’t like to remember those dark days. In fact, I went out of my way to push all those memories down as deep as they could go. Unfortunately, I was reminded of them every time I looked in a damn mirror.
I sighed and lifted a hand so I could rub the back of my neck. I was so tense I felt like I was going to snap. “I thought I could apologize, maybe explain that things aren’t always what they seem. I don’t want to shatter her illusions of what it looks like when you love someone so completely that you’ll do anything for them, but there isn’t a way to tell her why I did what I did without breaking her heart all over again. I didn’t come here looking for trouble, but I seemed to have stepped in it anyway.” And wasn’t that just how shit always went in my life?
“What kind of trouble?” Benny’s voice sharpened and his eyes narrowed. There was the guy who could drop another man to the ground without a second thought. He’d magically appeared before my eyes with just the hint of something out of the ordinary. I knew he couldn’t be too far beneath the cashmere sweater and laid-back veneer.
“Karsen is supposed to be on a plane back home tomorrow and her roommate was supposed to be moving in with her boyfriend. The roommate called in a panic a little while ago because the boyfriend knocked her around.”
“Typical young love bullshit.” I could hear the sneer in his tone.
I shook my head. “That’s what I figured. Karsen enlisted me to go teach the guy a painful lesson. When we got there, he was gone. I had Stark try and track the kid down, and as it turns out, the apartment isn’t leased under his name, and he knew enough to drop his phone in a crowded area where no one would ever be able to recognize him or notice. He’s also using a burner phone. What college kid do you know doesn’t have the latest iPhone?” Benny and I exchanged frowns. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t like it, and I don’t know how much time I’m going to have to figure it out before Race sends his guys after me.”
Benny sighed as well and dragged his hand over his neatly trimmed beard. “Nassir is fond of the girl. He’s not going to like this.”
Nassir was fond of Karsen, but I was pretty sure I was in love with her, or as close to being in love as a guy like me could get. All I knew was I hadn’t been able to forget about her, even though that would have been the best thing for both of us.
I was getting ready to tell Benny that Nassir was the least of my concerns when my phone rang. Seeing it was Stark and hoping he had some info that would help me track down the kid, I held up a finger to quiet Benny and answered in a rush. “What do you got for me, boy genius?”
“You need to get to Karsen’s apartment, Booker. The roommate just called 9–1-1 and reported a break-in.” Stark’s voice was tight and I could tell he was trying to keep calm for my sake.
I ended the call without another word and reached out a finger to poke Benny in the center of his chest. “I need a ride.”
The other man swatted my hand away and lifted his eyebrows at me. “What in the fuck is going on, Booker?”
I curled my hands into fists at my side and stared at a spot somewhere over his shoulder, not seeing anything. “I don’t know, but when I find out, whoever is behind it is going to pray for a quick and painless death.” This was who I was, no prettying up the monster that lived inside of me. I was going to make them bleed, and I was going to watch them burn.
Karsen
I stared at the cop who was taking our statement about the current disheveled state of our apartment and kept my teeth firmly locked on the tip of my tongue. I understood not all cops were bad, biased, and burned out. I knew there were law enforcement officers out there willing to give their all to serve and protect, regardless of their efforts being noticed or appreciated. And after spending so much time around Dominic Voss, I knew cops could be incredibly compassionate and understanding. Unfortunately, the police officer who showed up to investigate the obvious break-in at our apartment was none of those things. He seemed bored, and as soon as he asked Ari about her rapidly blackening eye and learned about her altercation with her boyfriend, he seemed determined to chalk the situation up to a lovers’
quarrel that had gotten out of hand.
He wanted to know if anything was missing, but with everything packed up in boxes and the only obvious sign of a break-in coming from the kicked-in front door, it was hard to tell. I didn’t want to divulge that in my room, which was still mostly unpacked, someone had rifled through all my drawers, dumping the contents on the floor and across the bed. My passport was missing. I was completely unnerved because it felt like whomever had broken in knew exactly what they were looking for and where to find it.
“I left my purse on the kitchen counter when Ari called and asked me to come get her. I wasn’t thinking and ran out the door with just my keys and my phone. My purse is gone.” I kept my voice calm, but inside I was a shaking mess. No passport and no driver’s license meant I wasn’t getting on the plane tomorrow, and suddenly I wanted to cry. I’d been avoiding going home for so long because of Booker, but there was so much there I missed. The ache to revisit my old life spread throughout my insides until I could practically feel it pressing on my heart. I squeezed Ari where she was tucked against my side and watched as the cop tried to hide an eyeroll.
“So, your purse was in plain view of anyone who happened to walk by?” He asked the question in a way that clearly blamed us. I hated assholes like him.
“My purse was inside my locked apartment. People were coming and going all day as we moved stuff out. This complex is gated and has twenty-four-hour security. This was not a crime of opportunity.” No. This was a targeted attack. I had no idea if it was tied to Booker’s sudden reappearance in my life, but it felt too coincidental for it not to be related.
“Do you girls have anyone in your lives who would want to mess with you? Anyone who would go out of their way to scare you? Maybe the boyfriend has some friends he enlisted to teach you a lesson?” He lifted an eyebrow at Ari and gave her a pointed stare. He was trying to intimidate her, and I wanted nothing more than for Dom to show up and kick this jerk’s butt all the way across Boulder. It was too bad we didn’t live in Denver. He would have been the first one to show up when we called in the incident.
“No. Nothing like that. Troy was pretty much a loner; he didn’t really have a group of friends besides me and Karsen. We just graduated so we’ve both been busy with school. I was with Troy until a few hours ago, and Karsen keeps mostly to herself. We’re boring and neither one of us has ever done anything to justify this.” She straightened under my arm and narrowed her eyes at the rude police officer. “Can I get your badge number? I don’t know if I mentioned it, but my brother is a cop. He’s with the Denver PD. I want to be sure he knows whom to talk to when I tell him how you handled this interview.” She batted her eyelashes at him and I had to bite back a giggle. That was my girl. Not the sullen, sad little waif who had been crying on my shoulder all night.
One of the reasons I loved Ari so much was because she had a spine of steel. The fighter inside me recognized the fighter inside her, which led to us being fast friends, even if my fighter had been mostly dormant until Noah Booker burst back into my life. That bitch was wide awake now and looking to do some serious damage.
I cocked an eyebrow at the seething police officer and tried not to smirk at him. “I’m sure Officer Voss is going to want to know all the details of your investigation. He’s very protective of his baby sister.”
The cop visibly ground his teeth together and glared at both of us. He mumbled something about getting Ari a business card with his information, then stated he was going to see if he could get the security tapes from the company that patrolled the complex and asked us for a list of people who might have the code to get in the security gate. It was a short list. Aside from Ari’s family and mine, Troy, and a couple of friends, we didn’t get many visitors. Ari was much more social than I was; saying I kept to myself was being generous. I rarely interacted with anyone unless I had to. I found most of my classmates annoying and far too sheltered and oblivious for my liking. Plus, there was the fact that Booker found his way in with no problem whatsoever, so having the code was irrelevant.
The cop told us he would be in touch and left in a huff.
When he was gone, I let go of Ari and looked around the mostly empty apartment in search of anything else that might be out of place. I felt violated and dirty. The thought of someone going through my things, putting their hands on articles of clothing I never intended anyone else to see, turned my stomach and left a sour taste in my mouth.
“Do you think it was Troy?” Ari had her arms wrapped around herself and she looked as lost and as unsettled as I was feeling.
“I dunno.” I lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “It’s weird that the only things missing are my purse and identification. My passport was tucked away in the very back of my underwear drawer. So how would whomever broke in know that unless they had an idea where it was stashed? Doesn’t feel like a random break-in to me.” Especially not with Booker back in the picture.
“God, Karsen.” Ari shivered and turned huge eyes in my direction. “That would mean Troy went through your stuff when he was here. That is so fucking creepy. I feel like I walked into a nightmare and can’t wake up.” Slowly she shook her head and I could see tears forming in the dark depths once again. “How could I be in love with a monster and not realize it? Dom taught me better than that, Karsen. I know all the signs to look for when someone isn’t who they seem to be.”
I tapped my fingers on the kitchen counter, silently cursing Booker. If he hadn’t shown up and spun my world off its axis, I probably wouldn’t have forgotten my purse in my rush to save Ari. He had me all spun out and twisted up, just when my life was supposed to be laid out smooth and straight in front of me. He was always the kink in my otherwise level and balanced existence.
I shivered in revulsion, thinking about Troy pawing through all my personal belongings. I hated that for Ari, but it made the most sense. He knew I was leaving to come get her. He also had the code to the gate and had been here countless times. He’d spent the night with my roommate, which gave him unfettered access to our place when I was in class or out studying. I never considered locking my door with Ari home, but now knowing Troy’s true colors, I was regretting being so lax with my personal security and belongings. I knew better than to leave any part of my life vulnerable to intrusion.
“Sometimes all we can see is what we want to see when it comes to love. Our hearts tend to be blind until they’re forced to see the light.” My heart was still blinking against the brightness of this reality. That illumination burned and was forever imprinted in my mind. I saw those naked, writhing bodies every time I closed my eyes. I heard him calling me a little girl in all of my dreams.
Ari suddenly cocked her head and started pacing back and forth in front of me. “The only things missing are your IDs. That means you can’t leave Colorado any time soon. What if the break-in was about keeping you here? What if Troy hit me because he knew there was no way you would leave me when I was upset and dealing with a breakup? Maybe he’s crazy obsessed with you and doesn’t want you to go back home.” She sucked in a breath and put a hand to her chest like her heart was hurting and she was trying to soothe it. “He was always very curious about your plans after graduation. I thought he was worried about you because you hadn’t committed to anything, but maybe it was more than that.”
She was one smart cookie. It was obvious her older brother taught her how to see the invisible threads connecting things most people missed. “Why would he want to keep me here? What’s back in the Point he’d want to keep me away from?” I never told anyone about what it was like back in my hometown. In fact, I rarely even told anyone where my hometown was. They wouldn’t understand it, or my unwavering love for a place that regularly ate innocent people alive.
Ari lifted her chin and gave me an are-you-kidding-me-right-now look. “Oh, I don’t know. Something, or rather someone, who’s about six-and-a-half-feet tall, with dark hair, who’s built like a Spartan soldier, rocking some amazing gray eyes and has been c
arrying a torch for you since you were jailbait? No normal guy is going to stand up to the legend that is Booker. Troy would have to know he didn’t have a prayer of catching your attention if the massive mountain of delicious man-meat was back in the picture.”
It was my turn for the are-you-kidding look. My words were short and sharp when I demanded, “And how would Troy know about Booker? No one knows about him, except for you. I never even told my sister why I had to leave the Point as quickly as I did. I think she guessed it had something to do with him, but I never got into the details with her.”
She deflated in front of my eyes. Her shoulders slumped forward and her head dropped so her hair was covering her face. She wrapped her arms around herself in a hug and started slowly swaying side to side. Her voice was soft and I could hear the tears crawling up her throat as she whispered. “I told Troy about Booker.”
My entire body jerked and I had to lock my knees to keep them from melting from shock. I trusted Ari implicitly. This betrayal burned something deep. “What? Why? When?” The questions fired out like bullets, each one more forceful and angry than the one before it.
“After that Fourth of July barbeque at Dom and Lando’s place.” She looked up at me, her face pale and her eyes wide. “Lando introduced you to that hockey player. The one the Avalanche just signed. He was young, hot, and clearly into you. Not to mention he had that sexy French-Canadian accent. You turned him down without a thought. You acted annoyed he was interested in you. People noticed. Troy noticed. He bugged me for over an hour about it. He wanted to know why you don’t date and asked if you were planning on spending your entire life alone. I didn’t want to lie, so I told him you had a thing with someone back home and it didn’t end well. I didn’t give him details, but Booker’s name might have slipped out.” Her glassy eyes pleaded with me to understand and forgive. “I’m so sorry, Karsen. I honestly didn’t think it was a big deal.” She let out a bitter laugh. “I also didn’t think my boyfriend was a violent lunatic.” Her head fell forward again, and the silent resignation in her features almost gutted me.