“Does it please you?” he asked.

  She blinked up at him. “Well, yeah. I mean, it’s really quite brilliant.”

  “I have to admit, I don’t think this would be possible without you, Aurora. Through our bond, you’ve given me just enough control over my sadistic nature to find nonviolent outlets for my powers.”

  She bobbed her head, still processing. In a really, really weird way, he’d just given her everything she’d hoped for. “Thank you, Távas.”

  “For what?”

  “Thank you for doing this—for finding another way.”

  “Well,” his blue eyes flashed to lavender for a brief moment, “I will still need help.” He stepped closer, letting her feel the heat of his ridiculously strong body, flooding her mind with memories of his soft lips.

  “With what?”

  “I have other cravings, and they are all quite sinister.” He slid his warm hand to the back of her neck, lust twinkling in his eyes.

  “Oh, so…you mean you’re going to need lots of sex?”

  He nodded. “Dirty sex. The dirtiest.”

  Dirty, huh? She doubted he could come up with anything that would shock her. In her years, she’d seen everything. Humans could get quite creative when it came to kink.

  Nevertheless, the challenge aroused her.

  She swallowed down the lump in her throat, feeling every inch of her body tingle. “We-well, I don’t break easily, and I’m fairly sure there isn’t much that would be off the table.”

  He flashed a charming, sadistic grin. “I am so, so glad you said that.”

  “Are you sure about this?” Aurora said from the bedroom of her apartment while Távas waited in the other room. “I feel kind of silly.”

  “You said you were game for anything!” he yelled.

  She scratched her naked arm. I suppose I did, but this is a little weird. And itchy! On the other hand, if this did it for him and it kept his evil side in check, who was she to argue?

  “Okay,” she said in a gruff, throaty monster voice, “I’m coming for you, you naughty man.”

  She popped the big chef’s knife between her teeth and marched into the living room, where Távas sat duct taped to one of her dining room chairs.

  His beautiful eyes lit up with sexual hunger.

  “You want some of this?” She spun in a circle, allowing him to drink in her nearly naked body covered in a paste made of fake blood and charcoal. To complete her outfit, she had on a necklace made of plastic thumbs and a suede thong. She’d drawn the line at using anything made of real human body parts. ’Cause ick!

  “Yes, I do. I want all of it,” he said, his voice low and saturated with lust.

  “Ah, then you have to tell me how bad you’ve been.”

  “Why don’t you remove this duct tape and I can show you?”

  Honestly, the tape had been her idea. She kept thinking about how sexy Távas had looked the night she’d flipped and tied him up.

  “Sorry. If you want to be free, you have to pay the evil priestess.” She stood directly in front of him with her ass turned toward his face.

  He made a deep groan as she lowered herself into his lap, sliding her ass over the thick bulge in his groin. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head. He felt so good, so hard. She didn’t know how long she’d be able to keep up this charade.

  Not long. I’ve waited forever for this moment. She turned and got to her knees.

  “Oh no. You can’t,” he protested. “Our first time together can’t be that.”

  He thought she was going to suck him off? Not a chance. She wanted their bodies joined and moving together in perfect, wicked, sinful harmony.

  Still, I should tease him a little.

  She took her knife and started slicing up one pant leg. “Let’s see what our bad human has hidden under here.” She stopped cutting just inches from his hard cock, which was thrusting against the soft black fabric of his pants. She then tore the fabric the rest of the way with her bare hands.

  “Oh my. Now that is wicked.” Wicked sexy. His velvety cock was long and thick and veined to a hard perfection.

  She licked her lips and dipped her head, unable to resist testing the softness with her mouth. She kissed the top of his crown, eliciting his deep groan.

  Távas threw back his head and clawed his fingertips into the arm of the chair.

  Now that he was back to his old self, more or less, she knew he could break free at any point. He was stronger than most of the gods, and when his physical strength didn’t cut it, he had other tricks up his sleeve.

  Feeling her core flutter and her entire body light up with arousal, she took him in, attempting to encase him in the warmth of her mouth.

  “Oh, goddess. You need to stop that or I will cu—”

  She pulled back her head and then slid her mouth down on him again until he hit her deep in the throat.

  He called out in ecstasy. “Okay. You…win…” He groaned his words.

  She stroked him again with her mouth, savoring the salty heat of him. But now, it was her own need driving her actions. She needed him inside her, coming hard.

  She stood, removed her suede bottoms, and turned around, planting herself in his lap, placing his hard shaft between her soft aching folds. Slowly, she rocked herself against his cock, spreading her wetness up and down the hard length of him. She moaned with each inch, feeling her c-spot throb with need.

  “Please, more,” he begged.

  “Yes, that’s what I want to hear; beg me.” This hadn’t been part of their agreed-upon role-playing, but dammit if it did fit.

  “Please put me inside you,” he asked, nearly demanding.

  She rocked her hips and used her hand to hold his erection firmly against the slick valley between her legs. “Say it again. Like you mean it, my evil king.”

  Suddenly, he broke free of the tape and wrapped his strong arms around her waist, pushing her forward, down onto the carpet on all fours.

  “Please,” he said, and then thrust into her from behind, stealing her breath, the warmth of his strong chest covering her back.

  She gasped with pleasure, feeling him stretch and fill her.

  “You’re so fucking warm, so fucking tight.” He pulled out and slammed into her again.

  She moaned, her hands clawing into the rug. “You’re my first.”

  He stopped moving. “What?”

  Oh gods. How embarrassing. “I thought you knew—all that talk about angry sex you gave me.”

  He pulled out and lifted himself away. She twisted and sat to face him. “What’s the matter? Why did you stop?”

  He kneeled in front of her, taking her hand and kissing the top, allowing his lips to linger for a long moment. “I was egging you on, Aurora. But had I known this was your first time…”

  “What? I’m enjoying it.” In fact, she was a little peeved that he’d stopped.

  “We have an eternity for dirty sex, duct tape, and shredding our clothes. But there is only one first time, and you deserve to be bedded properly.” He dropped her hand and ran his through his thick dirty blond hair. “I should’ve known.”

  “No. It’s okay. Really. I don’t need flowers and candles. I’ve spent my entire life being forgotten—no chocolates, no birthday cards, no—”

  “I didn’t think gods had birthdays.”

  “We don’t, but we pretend. The point is, I’ve been invisible for seventy thousand years and the fact that you see me, that you love me and don’t care that I’m not perfect or not all-knowing and that I have no experience in bed,” she drew a breath, “I can’t think of a better memory than that for my first time.” She shrugged. “Plus, you kinda already put it in me, so it’s a moot point. First time…over!” She threw up her hands. “Can I come now?”

  He smiled, but it was unlike any smile she’d ever seen on a man. It came from the inside and radiated out.

  “You take my breath away, Távas. You’re so beautiful. I truly mean that.”

  “I haven’t be
en able to forget you since we first met two thousand years ago. I don’t know how it’s possible to love someone and not know them, but I did. Love at first sight. Marry me, Aurora. Because I won’t ever love another. And I want to do evil sexy things to you.”

  She didn’t think it possible, but she could swear she felt all of the tiny cracks in her soul filling up. “You’re my mate. You’re part of me now. And yes, I will marry you.”

  “Good.” He got to his feet and took her hand, jerking her up.

  “What are you—”

  He quickly threw her over his shoulder, heading off in the direction of her bedroom. “Role-playing is over. It’s time for reality.” He threw her onto the bed and then crawled toward her until his naked muscled body hovered over her.

  “What now?” She panted her words, completely breathless.

  “I worship at your altar for the next four hours.”

  “And then?”

  “And then we figure it out one day at a time. But rest assured, my goddess, you will never ever be forgotten or neglected again. I pledge my wicked heart to that.”

  TO BE CONTINUED

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Want more chaotic gods? Me too! COLEL, the Goddess of Bees, is next in line. Check her page for updates:

  www.mimijean.net/colel.html

  OR…EVEN EASIER! Sign up for new release alerts and random weird crap in my monthly newsletters:

  https://goo.gl/9NZiqR

  Newsletter not weird enough for ya? Then there’s my awesome fan group. (Yeah, it’s exactly like you imagine.)

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  As for SWAG, you know what to do. Send an email to [email protected] with your full name and shipping address (international okay), and I will send you something awesome from my monthly mail out. Don’t FORGETTY (har, har) to mention if you took your valuable time to show the book-love and write a review! I will surely thank you and possibly send a coveted fridge magnet. (First-come basis—I do run out.)

  What sort of crazy-ass songs fueled this crazy-ass book? Find out here…

  open.spotify.com/user/mimijeanpamfiloff/playlist/6dV9w56DrZXRunlphqXeaG?si=RvWkjnpeTx-az5IQiAEQVw

  Alrighty, my lovely goddesses! I hope you enjoyed the adventure. I’m back to work, writing SKINNY PANTS. (Yes, I know. LOL! It’s only like three years overdue!)

  With Love,

  Mimi, Author of 30 Books and Counting

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I can’t forget Su, Latoya, Pauline, Paul, Dali, Kylie, and Ally… I can’t remember what I wanted to say. Oh! Thank you for being a part of book #30!

  To my guys, I always think of you when I’m holed up in my office, trying to finish a book. Love you.

  Mimi

  Character Definitions – The Gods

  Although every culture around the world has their own names and beliefs related to beings of worship, there are actually only fourteen gods. And since the gods are able to access the human world only through the portals called cenotes, located in the Yucatán, the Mayans were big fans.

  Another fun fact: The gods often refer to each other as brother and sister, but the truth is they are just another species of the Creator and completely unrelated.

  Acan—God of Wine and Intoxication, and God of Decapitation. Also known as Belch, Acan has been drunk for many millennia. He generally wears only tighty whities, but since he’s the life of the party, he’s been known to mix it up and go naked, too. Whatever works. He is now mated to the lovely Margarita.

  Ah-Ciliz—God of Solar Eclipses: Called A.C. by his brethren, Ah-Ciliz is generally thought of as a giant buzz kill because of his dark attitude.

  Akna—Goddess of Fertility: She is so powerful, it is said she can make inanimate objects fornicate and that anyone who gets in the same room as her ends up pregnant. She is often seen hanging out with her brother Acan at parties, when not hiding in a cave.

  Backlum Chaam—God of Male Virility: He was once a slave to the Maaskab and played a key role in discovering that black jade can be used to procreate with humans.

  Camaxtli—Goddess of the Hunt: Also once known as Fate until she was discovered to be a fake and had her powers stripped away by the Universe. She’s now referred to as “Fake.”

  Colel Cab—Mistress of Bees: Though she has many, many powers, “Bees” is most known for the live beehive hat on her head. She has never had a boyfriend or lover because her bees get too jealous.

  Goddess of Forgetfulness—She has no official name that is known of and has the power to make anyone forget anything. She spends her evenings DJing because she finds the anonymity of dance clubs to be comforting. Her partner in crime is Acan, the God of Wine.

  Ixtab—Goddess of Happiness (ex-Goddess of Suicide): Ixtab’s once morbid frock used to make children scream. But since finding her soul mate, she’s now the epitome of all things happy.

  K’ak (Pronounced “cock”)—The history books remember him as K’ak Tiliw Chan Yopaat, ruler of Copán in the 700s AD. King K’ak is one of Cimil’s favorite brothers. We’re not really sure what he does, but he can throw bolts of lightning, wears a giant silver and jade headdress with intertwining serpents, and has long black and silver hair.

  Kinich Ahau—ex-God of the Sun: Known by many other names, depending on the culture, Kinich likes to go by Nick these days. He’s also now a vampire—something he’s actually not so bummed about. He is mated to the love of his life, Penelope, the Ruler of the House of Gods.

  Máax—Once known as the God of Truth, Máax was banished for repeatedly violating the ban on time travel. However, since helping to save the world from the big “over,” he is now known as the God of Time Travel. Also turns out he was the God of Love, but no one figured that out until his mate, Ashli, inherited his power. Ashli is now the fourteenth deity, taking the place of Camaxtli, the Fake.

  Votan—God of Death and War: Also known as Odin, Wotan, Wodan, God of Drums (he has no idea how the hell he got that title; he hates drums), and Lord of Multiplication (okay, he is pretty darn good at math so that one makes sense). These days, Votan goes by Guy Santiago (it’s a long story—read ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE WITH…A GOD?), but despite his deadly tendencies, he’s all heart.

  Yum Cimil—Goddess of the Underworld: Also known as Ah-Puch by the Mayans, Mictlantecuhtli (try saying that one ten times) by the Aztec, Grim Reaper by the Europeans, Hades by the Greeks…you get the picture! Despite what people say, Cimil is actually a female, adores a good bargain (especially garage sales) and the color pink, and she hates clowns. She’s also bat-shit crazy, has an invisible pet unicorn named Minky, and is married to Roberto, the king of all vampires.

  Zac Cimi—Once thought to be the God of Love, we now know differently. Zac is the God of Temptation, and his tempting ways have landed him in very hot water. Because no matter how temptingly hot your brother’s mate might be, trying to steal her is wrong. He is currently serving time for his crime in Los Angeles with Cimil, running the Immortal Matchmakers agency. He is now madly in love with his assistant, Tula.

  Character Definitions – Not the Gods

  Andrus: Ex-Demilord (vampire who’s been given the gods’ light), now just a demigod after his maker, the vampire queen, died. He is now happily mated to Sadie, a half-succubus who spends her days feeding off of her delicious new hubby and going to casting calls in LA.

  Ashli: Ashli actually belongs over in the GODS section, but since she was born human, we’ll keep her here. Ashli is mate to Máax, God of Time Travel. Unbeknownst to him, he was also the God of Love. Ashli inherited his power after they started falling in love. Maybe the Universe thought a woman should have this power?

  Brutus: One of the gods’ elite Uchben warriors. He doesn’t speak much, but that’s because he and his team are telepathic. They are also immortal (a gift from the gods) and next in line to be Uchben chiefs.

  Charlotte: Sadie’s golf-loving half-sister and the intended mate to Andrus Grey. Only, Andrus, being the rebel that he is, decid
ed he could pick his own damned woman, Sadie. Charlotte is now happily mated to Tommaso, Andrus’s BBF. They’re one big happy family! Oh, and her daddy is an incubus.

  Helena Strauss: Once human, Helena is now a vampire and married to Niccolo DiConti. She has a half-vampire daughter, Matty, who is destined to marry Andrus’s son, according to Cimil.

  Margarita Seville: Once a member of the Amish community, Margarita now lives in LA, following her calling to make the world a healthier place. She owns a successful gym and has a teenage daughter, Jessica, who’s hell-bent on making her life miserable. She is mate to Acan, God of Wine.

  Matty: The infant daughter of Helena and Niccolo, destined to marry Andrus’s son.

  Niccolo DiConti: General of the Vampire Army. Now that the vampire queen is dead, the army remains loyal to him. He shares power with his wife, Helena Strauss, and has a half-vampire daughter, Matty.

  Reyna: The dead vampire queen.

  Roberto (Narmer): Originally an Egyptian pharaoh, Narmer was one of the six Ancient Ones—the very first vampires. He eventually changed his name to Roberto and moved to Spain—something to do with one of Cimil’s little schemes. He now spends his days lovingly undoing Cimil’s treachery, being a stay-at-home dad, and taking her unicorn Minky for a ride.

  Sadie: Charlotte’s half sister and mated to Andrus Grey, Sadie is an aspiring actress who discovered she’s also half incubus.

  Távas: Hero of this book, so I can’t spoil who he truly is. But it’s a doozy!

  Tommaso: Once a soldier of the gods, called Uchben, Tommaso’s mind was poisoned with black jade. He tried to kill Emma, Votan’s mate, but redeemed himself by turning into a spy for the gods. He is now mated to Charlotte.

  Tula: The incorruptible administrative assistant at Immortal Matchmakers, Inc.

  COMING 2018!

  SKINNY PANTS

  BOOK 4, THE HAPPY PANTS SERIES

  He’s the doctor of her dreams.