SALIM: (Accelerating) Got to get to a little liaison. (To JOHNNY.) He doesn’t have to thank me. Eh, Johnny? What’s your problem with me, Johnny?

  JOHNNY: (Eventually, and tough) Salim, we know what you sell, man. Know the kids you sell it to. It’s shit, man. Shit.

  SALIM: Haven’t you noticed? People are shit. I give them what they want. I don’t criticize. I supply. The laws of business apply.

  JOHNNY: Christ, what a view of people. Eh, Omo? You think that’s a filthy shit thing, don’t you, Omo?

  (Suddenly SALIM steps on the brakes. They skid to a stop on the edge of a steep drop away from the road.)

  SALIM: Get out!

  (JOHNNY opens the car door. He looks down the steep hill and across the windy Kent landscape. He leans back in his seat, closing the car door.)

  JOHNNY: I don’t like the country. The snakes make me nervous. (SALIM laughs and drives off.)

  INT. SALIM’S CAR. NIGHT

  They’ve reached South London, near the laundrette.

  OMAR’s been explaining to SALIM about his new scheme.

  OMAR: … So I was talking to Zaki about it. I want to take over his two laundrettes. He’s got no idea.

  SALIM: None.

  OMAR: Do them up. With this money. (He pats his pocket.)

  SALIM: Yeah. Is it enough?

  OMAR: I thought maybe you could come in with me … financially.

  SALIM: Yeah. I’m looking for some straight outlets. (Pause.) You’re a smart bastard. (Suddenly.) Hey, hey, hey … (And he sees, in the semi-darkness near the football ground, a group of roaming laughing LADS. They are walking into a narrow lane. SALIM slows the car down and enters the street behind them, following them now, watching them and explaining. To JOHNNY.) These people. What a waste of life. They’re filthy and ignorant. They’re just nothing. But they abuse people. (To OMAR.) Out people. (To JOHNNY.) All over England, Asians, as you call us, are beaten, burnt to death. Always we are intimidated. What these scum need – (and he slams the car into gear and starts to drive forward fast) ) is a taste of their own piss.

  (He accelerates fast, and mounting the pavement, drives at the LADS ahead of him. MOOSE turns and sees the car. They scatter and run. Another of the LADS is GENGHIS. Some of the others we will recognize as mates of his.

  GENGHIS gets in close against the wall, picking up a lump of wood to smash through the car windscreen. But he doesn’t have time to fling it and drops it as SALIM drives at him, turning away at the last minute. GENGHIS sees clearly who is in the front of the car.

  As SALIM turns the car away from GENGHIS, MOOSE is suddenly standing stranded in the centre of the road. SALIM can’t avoid him. MOOSE jumps aside but SALIM drives over his foot. MOOSE screams.

  SALIM drives on.)

  INT. JOHNNY’S ROOM. NIGHT

  OMAR and JOHNNY have made love. OMAR appears to be asleep, lying across the bed.

  JOHNNY gets up, walks across the room and picks up a bottle of whisky. He drinks.

  INT. ANOTHER LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  This is a much smaller and less splendid laundrette than Omar’s.

  OMAR is looking it over ‘expertly’. ZAKI is awaiting Omar’s verdict. This is Zaki’s problem laundrette.

  SALIM is also there, striding moodily about.

  OMAR: I think I can do something with this. Me and my partner.

  ZAKI: Take it. I trust you and your family.

  OMAR: Salim?

  SALIM: I’d happily put money into it.

  OMAR: All right. Wait a minute.

  EXT. OUTSIDE THIS SMALLER LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  JOHNNY is morosely sitting in the car, examining himself in the car mirror. In the mirror, at the far end of the street, he sees a figure on crutches watching them. This is MOOSE.

  OMAR comes out of the laundrette and talks to JOHNNY through the car window.

  OMAR: You wanna look at this place? Think we could do something with it?

  JOHNNY: Can’t tell without seeing it.

  OMAR: Come on, then.

  JOHNNY: Not if that scum Salim’s there.

  (OMAR turns away angrily and walks back into the laundrette.)

  EXT. OUTSIDE OMAR AND JOHNNY’S BEAUTIFUL LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  GENGHIS is standing on the roof of the laundrette, a plank of wood studded with nails in his hand.

  Across the street, in the alley and behind cars, the LADS are waiting and watching the laundrette. MOOSE is with them, hobbling. Inside, JOHNNY washes the floor. TANIA, not seeing GENGHIS or the LADS, walks down the street towards the laundrette.

  INT. LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  JOHNNY is washing the floor of the laundrette. A white MAN opens a washing machine and starts picking prawns out of it, putting them in a black plastic bag. JOHNNY watches in amazement.

  TANIA comes into the laundrette to say goodbye to JOHNNY. She is carrying a bag.

  TANIA: (Excited) I’m going.

  JOHNNY: Where?

  TANIA: London. Away.

  (Some KIDS are playing football outside, dangerously near the laundrette windows. JOHNNY goes to the window and bangs on it. He spots a LAD and MOOSE watching the laundrette from across the street. JOHNNY waves at them. They ignore him.) (To him) I’m going, to live my life. You can come.

  JOHNNY: No good jobs like this in London.

  TANIA: Omo just runs you around everywhere like a servant.

  JOHNNY: Well. I’ll stay here with my friend and fight it out.

  TANIA: My family, Salim and all, they’ll swallow you up like a little kebab.

  JOHNNY: I couldn’t just leave him now. Don’t ask me to. You ever touched him? (She shakes her head.) I wouldn’t trust him, though.

  TANIA: Better go. (She kisses him and turns and goes. He stands at the door and watches her go.)

  EXT. OUTSIDE THE LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  From the roof GENGHIS watches TANIA walk away from the laundrette.

  At the end of the street, Salim’s car turns the corner. A LAD standing on the corner signals to GENGHIS. GENGHIS nods at the LADS in the alley opposite and holds his piece of wood ready.

  INT. CLUB/BAR. DAY

  NASSER and RACHEL are sitting at a table in the club/bar. They have been having an intense, terrible, sad conversation. Now they are staring at each other. NASSER holds her hand. She withdraws her hand.

  TARIQ comes over to the table with two drinks. He puts them down. He wants to talk to NASSER. NASSER touches his arm, without looking up. And TARIQ goes.

  RACHEL: So … so … so that’s it.

  NASSER: Why? Why d’you have to leave me now? (She shrugs.) After all these days.

  RACHEL: Years.

  NASSER: Why say you’re taking from my family?

  RACHEL: Their love and money. Yes, apparently I am.

  NASSER: No.

  RACHEL: And it’s not possible to enjoy being so hated.

  NASSER: It’ll stop.

  RACHEL: Her work. (She pulls up her jumper to reveal her blotched, marked stomach. If possible we should suspect for a moment that she is pregnant.) And I am being cruel to her. It is impossible.

  NASSER: Let me kiss you. (She gets up.) Oh, Christ. (She turns to go.) Oh, love. Don’t go. Don’t, Rachel. Don’t go.

  EXT. OUTSIDE LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  SALIM is sitting in his car outside the laundrette. GENGHIS stands above him on the roof, watching. Across the street the LADS wait in the alley, alert.

  SALIM gets out of his car.

  EXT. OUTSIDE ANWAR’S CLUB. DAY

  RACHEL walks away from the club. NASSER stands at the door and watches her go.

  EXT. OUTSIDE PAPA’S HOUSE. DAY

  NASSER gets out of his car and walks towards Papa’s house. The door is broken and he pushes it, going into the hall, to the bottom of the stairs.

  EXT. OUTSIDE THE LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  SALIM walks into the laundrette.

  INT. PAPA’S HOUSE. DAY

  NASSER sadly climbs the filthy stairs of the house in which Papa’s flat is.
br />   INT. LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  SALIM has come into the busy laundrette. JOHNNY is working.

  SALIM: I want to talk to Omo about business.

  JOHNNY: I dunno where he is.

  SALIM: Is it worth waiting?

  JOHNNY: In my experience it’s always worth waiting for Omo.

  (The TELEPHONE CHARACTER is yelling into the receiver.)

  TELEPHONE CHARACTER: No, no, I promise I’ll look after it. I want a child, don’t I? Right, I’m coming round now! (He slams the receiver down. Then he starts to dial again.)

  INT. PAPA’S HOUSE. DAY

  NASSER has reached the top of the stairs and the door to Papa’s flat. He opens the door with his key. He walks along the hall to Papa’s room. He stops at the open door to Papa’s room. PAPA is lying in bed completely still. NASSER looks at him, worried.

  EXT. OUTSIDE THE LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  The LADS are waiting in the alley opposite. GENGHIS gives them a signal from the roof.

  The LADS run across the street and start to smash up Salim’s car with big sticks, laying into the headlights, the windscreen, the roof, etc.

  INT. LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  We are looking at the TELEPHONE CHARACTER. He is holding the receiver in one hand. His other hand over his mouth. SALIM sees him and then turns to see, out of the laundrette window, his car being demolished.

  INT. PAPA’S ROOM. DAY

  NASSER walks into Papa’s room. PAPA hears him and looks up. PAPA struggles to get to the edge of the bed, and thrusts himself into the air.

  NASSER goes towards him and they embrace warmly, fervently. Then NASSER sits down on the bed next to his brother.

  EXT. OUTSIDE THE LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  SALIM runs out of the laundrette towards his car. He grabs one of the LADS and smashes the LAD’s head on the side of the car.

  GENGHIS is standing above them, on the edge of the roof.

  GENGHIS: (Yells) Hey! Paki! Hey! Paki!

  INT. PAPA’S ROOM. DAY

  PAPA and NASSER sit side by side on the bed.

  PAPA: This damn country has done us in. That’s why I am like this. We should be there. Home.

  NASSER: But that country has been sodomized by religion. It is beginning to interfere with the making of money. Compared with everywhere, it is a little heaven here.

  EXT. OUTSIDE THE LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  SALIM looks up at GENGHIS standing on the edge of the roof. Suddenly GENGHIS jumps down, on top of SALIM, pulling SALIM to the ground with him.

  GENGHIS quickly gets to his feet. And as SALIM gets up, GENGHIS hits him across the face with the studded piece of wood, tearing SALIM’s face.

  JOHNNY is watching from inside the laundrette.

  INT. PAPA’S ROOM. DAY

  PAPA and NASSER are sitting on the bed.

  PAPA: Why are you unhappy?

  NASSER: Rachel has left me. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

  (He gets up and goes to the door of the balcony.)

  EXT. OUTSIDE THE LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  SALIM, streaming blood, rushes at GENGHIS. GENGHIS smashes him in the stomach with the piece of wood.

  EXT. SOUTH LONDON STREET. DAY

  OMAR and ZAKI are walking along a South London street, away from Zaki’s small laundrette.

  Across the street is the club/bar. TARIQ is just coming out. He waves at OMAR.

  ZAKI: So you’re planning an armada of laundrettes?

  OMAR: What do you think of the dry-cleaners?

  ZAKI: They are the past. But then they are the present also. Mostly they are the past. But they are going to be the future too, don’t you think?

  EXT. OUTSIDE THE LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  SALIM is on the ground. MOOSE goes to him and whacks him with his crutch. SALIM lies still. GENGHIS kicks SALIM in the back. He is about to kick him again.

  JOHNNY is standing at the door of the laundrette. He moves towards GENGHIS.

  JOHNNY: He’ll die.

  (GENGHIS kicks SALIM again. JOHNNY loses his temper, rushes at GENGHIS and pushes him up against the car.)

  I said: leave it out!

  (One of the LADS moves towards JOHNNY. GENGHIS shakes his head at the LAD. SALIM starts to pull himself up off the floor. JOHNNY holds GENGHIS like a lover. To SALIM.) Get out of here!

  (GENGHIS punches JOHNNY in the stomach. GENGHIS and JOHNNY start to fight. GENGHIS is strong but JOHNNY is quick. JOHNNY tries twice to stop the fight, pulling away from GENGHIS.)

  All right, let’s leave it out now, eh?

  (SALIM crawls away, GENGHIS hits JOHNNY very hard and JOHNNY goes down.)

  EXT. STREET. DAY

  ZAKI and OMAR turn the corner, into the street where the fight is taking place. ZAKI sees SALIM staggering up the other side of the street. ZAKI goes to him.

  OMAR runs towards the fight. JOHNNY is being badly beaten now. A LAD grabs OMAR. OMAR struggles.

  Suddenly the sound of police sirens. The fight scatters. As it does, GENGHIS throws his lump of wood through the laundrette window, showering glass over the punters gathered round the window.

  OMAR goes to JOHNNY, who is barely conscious.

  EXT. BALCONY OF PAPA’S FLAT. DAY

  NASSER is standing leaning over the balcony, looking across the railway track. PAPA comes through the balcony door and stands behind him, in his pyjamas.

  NASSER: You still look after me, eh? But I’m finished.

  PAPA: Only Omo matters.

  NASSER: I’ll make sure he’s fixed up with a good business future.

  PAPA: And marriage?

  NASSER: Tania is a possibility?

  (NASSER nods confidently, perhaps over-confidently.)

  INT. BACK ROOM OF LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  OMAR is bathing JOHNNY’s badly bashed up face at the sink in the back room of the laundrette.

  OMAR: All right?

  JOHNNY: What d’you mean all right? How can I be all right? I’m in the state I’m in. (Pause.) I’ll be handsome. But where exactly am I?

  OMAR: Where you should be. With me.

  JOHNNY: No. Where does all this leave me?

  OMAR: Are you crying?

  JOHNNY: Where does it? Kiss me then.

  OMAR: Don’t cry. Your hand hurts too. That’s why.

  JOHNNY: Hey.

  OMAR: What?

  JOHNNY: I better go. I think I had, yeah.

  OMAR: You were always going, at school. Always running about, you. Your hand is bad. I couldn’t pin you down then.

  JOHNNY: And now I’m going again. Give me my hand back.

  OMAR: You’re dirty. You’re beautiful.

  JOHNNY: I’m serious. Don’t keep touching me.

  OMAR: I’m going to give you a wash.

  JOHNNY: You don’t listen to anything.

  OMAR: I’m filling this sink.

  JOHNNY: Don’t.

  OMAR: Get over here! (OMAR fills the sink. JOHNNY turns and goes out of the room.) Johnny.

  (We follow JOHNNY out through the laundrette.)

  EXT. THE BALCONY. DAY

  PAPA turns away from NASSER.

  A train is approaching, rushing towards NASSER. Suddenly it is passing him and for a moment, if this is technically possible, he sees TANIA sitting reading in the train, her bag beside her. He cries out, but he is drowned out by the train.

  If it is not possible for him to see her, then we go into the train with her and perhaps from her POV in the train look at the balcony, the two figures, at the back view of the flat passing by.

  INT. LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  JOHNNY has got to the door of the laundrette. OMAR has rushed to the door of the back room.

  The shattered glass from the window is still all over the floor. A cold wind blows through the half-lit laundrette.

  JOHNNY stops at the door of the laundrette. He turns towards OMAR.

  INT. BACK ROOM OF LAUNDRETTE. DAY

  As the film finishes, as the credits roll, OMAR and JOHNNY are washing and splashing each other in the sink in the back ro
om of the laundrette, both stripped to the waist. Music over this.

  About the Author

  Hanif Kureishi grew up in Kent and studied philosophy at King’s College London. His novels include The Buddha of Suburbia, which won the Whitbread Prize for Best First Novel, The Black Album, Intimacy and The Last Word. His screenplays include My Beautiful Laundrette, which received an Oscar nomination for Best Screenplay, Sammy and Rosie Get Laid and Le Week-End. He has also published several collections of short stories. He has been awarded the Chevalier de l’Ordre des Arts et des Lettres and been translated into thirty-six languages.

  By the Same Author

  PLAYS

  Plays One (The King and Me, Outskirts, Borderline, Birds of Passage)

  Sleep With Me

  When the Night Begins

  The Black Album

  SCREENPLAYS

  My Beautiful Laundrette & Other Writings

  Sammy and Rosie Get Laid

  London Kills Me

  My Son the Fanatic

  The Mother

  Venus

  Collected Screenplays 1

  Le Week-End

  FICTION