Page 22 of Hold Me Now


  “Jennifer!” someone calls from behind, and my muscles seize, but my feet refuse to stop. Tears sting my eyes again, and my chest bucks as I gasp for my next breath. “Jennifer, wait.”

  Jessie jogs up alongside me, keeping the pace, trying to get a footing ahead of me as my legs quicken their movements exponentially.

  “I know who did it!” he shouts into the wind, and my heart wallops over my chest, threatening to stop if I don’t listen. “It wasn’t Jilly, and it wasn’t you.”

  My feet stumble as I slow to a jog.

  “Jen.” Jessie pulls me in, causing us both to stagger to the lawn, and I quickly remove myself from his grasp. “It was Tess and Rachel.” His grin makes a reprisal, only to evaporate just as quick. “They read your diary.”

  “What?” The sound of my panting, of my drumming heart fills my ears, and I can’t hear over the rush.

  “They used your brother to gain access to your room. They read your diary.” Jessie looks heartbroken for me. “They used your own words against you—against us.”

  “Against Jilly.” A rage builds in me, and suddenly, I want to claw their eyes out. “I can’t believe this. I knew they were shallow, but I had no idea they were pure evil.”

  “Come here.” Jessie reels me in with his fingers as the rain begins to pepper us from overhead. “I want to apologize to you. I should have believed you the first time you told me you didn’t say a word. It was stupid of me.”

  “It was stupid of me not to put two and two together. In a way, I did say every word.” A fluster of embarrassment runs through me. Just the idea of those two dingbats pouring over my private thoughts sends me reeling. “I never should have brought them to my house. And my poor brother…”

  “Believe me”—his brow hikes up, and he wraps his arms around me—“he got something out of it.”

  A dull laugh pumps through me. “Hopefully not an STD. No offense.”

  “No offense taken.” That sad smile comes to his face as the rain begins to needle us and small puddles form in the soil all around. “I need you back in my life, Jennifer. I want things just the way they were—perfect.”

  A peal of thunder rips overhead, and I jump a little deeper into his arms. “Perfect?”

  “We’re perfect.” He digs into his pocket a moment and comes up with a string of gold. The rain does its best to dampen the moment, but my heart leaps into my throat when I see it. “It was my grandmother’s,” he says it loud over the driving rain. “She wanted me to give it to someone special.” He lands a kiss over the back of my hand. “I want you to have it.”

  It’s a perfect thread of gold rope. I watch as it catches the field lights and glows luminescent against the night sky. “It’s beautiful. I love it.”

  “And I love you.” He gives my hands a desperate squeeze.

  “You love me?” I cock my head to the side.

  “I do.” Jessie picks me up by the waist and swings me in a circle and laughs. “I can’t believe it’s raining like this.”

  “It’s okay. The rain has a way of making everything new.”

  He nods and offers up that brilliant grin of his. “Tonight, we’re making everything new.”

  * * *

  Senior year is just about over. It’s hard to believe that our time at Glen Heights High came and went so quickly. I wrap my arm around Jessie as we hang out together during lunch with Melissa, Heather, and Russell.

  “So, what did Mrs. Robins say?” Heather is dying to know the outcome of the recent chat I had with Mrs. Robins. I pulled her aside at the beginning of second period and explained everything.

  “She booted Tess off the school paper, citing ethics and all around bad taste. She also said she’d talk to the principal.”

  “And what about you two?” Melissa eyes Jessie’s arms around my waist as if she’s still not fully behind this.

  “We’re solid,” he assures her. “And I want to let you both know”—he looks from Heather to Melissa—“I’m not breaking anyone’s heart. Every last part of me belongs to this girl right here.”

  “I’ve heard that before,” a voice calls from behind, and we turn to find Tess, Rachel, and Amanda ready to sling their bullshit. Tess’s eyes are bloodshot as if she’s been bawling, and I can’t say I feel too sorry for her.

  “What’s the matter, Nichols?” Heather steps in like she’s about to kick some ass, and, if she is, I’ll be the last to stop her. Heck, I might join in on the effort. “Did you get schooled by the principal?”

  Amanda juts her head forward. “A three-day suspension, and she can’t walk at graduation.”

  Even I suck in my breath at that one. Brutal isn’t the word, but for someone who messed with Jilly, I still think she’s getting off easy.

  Tess shakes her head in disbelief. “Like I totally don’t get it.”

  “You know what I don’t get?” Jessie’s body shakes with anger. “Why would you write those nasty letters to my kid sister?”

  “I’m so sure.” Tess smirks and tosses back her head as if he had the nerve to ask. “Like for real? She’s a grade-A brat. Somebody needed to teach her a lesson. Like you wouldn’t let her get away with half of the things she’s said to us if we were your precious little Jennifer.”

  “That’s because Jennifer wouldn’t deserve it.” Jessie tightens his grip around me. “We don’t want to see either of you coming around again. Don’t look at me or my girl during classes either.”

  “And stay the hell away from Jilly,” I add as Jessie dips a kiss to my neck. “By the way, the security cameras in the student parking lot caught the two of you dicing up my car. Expect a repair bill in the mail soon.” I’m just going off a hunch, but my mean girl math is pretty good at the moment.

  “Oh my shit!” Tess swats Rachel over the arm. “My dad’s gonna like fucking kill me.”

  Knew it. I guess I’ve got the all-clear to take it to the paint shop.

  Rachel steps forward, her bloated lips and eyes still patchy from a good cry herself. Her hair is sprayed to the heavens, giving her that rainbow effect I usually admire, but right now everything about her, from her perfectly teased hair, to her paisley parachute pants seems ugly. There’s not a thing I admire about Rachel Torres.

  “Like when you want a real woman, you know where to find me.” She snaps a bubble in my face before blowing a kiss to Jessie.

  The three of them hobble off like a herd of injured jackals, and I really can’t say I care.

  “And that closes a very long, horrible chapter in my life.” Jessie sighs over my back. I can feel his chest expanding, the relief pouring out of him. “I wish you would have told me about the car.” He brushes his thumb over my cheek as if wiping away a tear. “I would have gladly fixed it for you.”

  “No worries. It’s better this way.”

  “Good going, dude.” Russell slaps him five. “I’m throwing a party in your honor this Saturday night. We’ll keep it small.”

  “Sounds good to me. Let me check with my girlfriend.”

  I spin into him and find that grin of his embedding into his cheeks, giving him that sexy demented look that melts me. “What do you say? Party at Russell’s Saturday night?”

  “I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.” I hike up on my toes and give him a brazen kiss right here in the quad in front of the jocks, the geeks, the Journey Girls, the Charms, the break-dancers, and the Barbies. This boy is officially mine, and now the whole world knows it.

  The bell rings, and we gather our things as we take off for class.

  Jessie wraps his arm around my waist as we head for fifth period, and I’m feeling lighter than air, higher than the clouds.

  I’m feeling like Jessie’s girl.

  Jessie

  There are lessons I’ve learned in my life on my own, such as don’t overuse a razor or you’ll tear your face up, or don’t forget your cup when you’re on the field or you might lose the boys. But some lessons don’t come quite as naturally, like my ex
periences with women. I’m glad Jennifer came into my life and showed me firsthand there is a beauty and a satisfaction, a downright joy that comes with monogamy.

  “Cut the crusts!” Jilly shouts as I put together a mini tower of PB&Js—“Jenny style” as she calls it. It’s early Saturday morning, and I’m about to head over to Glen to meet up with my girl to run a few quick laps. It’s nice being with someone who actually likes the things I do, who loves the people I love.

  The back door opens, and Dad strides in still in his business suit, his patent leather briefcase clutched to his side.

  “You’re up early.” He pats me on the back while swooping in toward Jilly for a kiss.

  “What’s up, Daddy?” She puckers up and smacks him with a big one on the cheek. “I’ve got cartoons to watch.” Jilly pulls a sandwich off the plate. “And the bonehead here has a hot date with his girlfriend.”

  “Girlfriend, huh?” Dad winces playfully while jogging back on one foot. “I don’t know whether to ground you or say I’m sorry.”

  “You can say you’re happy for me. Jennifer is great. You’ll love her. I do.” I look him dead in the eyes when I say it. “She’s special. I found a keeper.”

  “Son.” He inches back. “You’re kidding me, right?” He looks to Jilly. “Tell me he’s teasing.”

  “He’s serious as a heart o’tack, and he ain’t lookin’ back.” She gives me a hard wink. “And Jennifer stays. I say so. She’s my favorite.”

  “She’s your favorite, huh?” Dad snaps an apple off the counter and tosses it in the air. “You’ll like the next one, too. Try not to get your heart broken. But, if you do, it might be good for you. The price of love can be far too high. You never forget that sting.”

  “There won’t be another one,” I say it so fast my heart gives a whooping applause. “And love is both worth the risk and priceless.” I slap my father over the shoulder, and he locks his startled eyes to mine. “You should give it another try, Dad. You’re missing out big time.”

  His stalky frame softens as a slight smile comes to his lips. For the first time, I see my dad as a regular guy—someone who’s had his heart ripped in half and is too afraid to give it away again.

  “You know, maybe I will.” He pulls Jilly over and locks us into a tight embrace. “Group hug! Here’s to love.”

  Jilly bucks with a laugh. “To Jennifer! She put us back together.”

  “To Jennifer,” I counter.

  She put me back together, too.

  * * *

  Russell’s little get-together has morphed into a statewide phenomenon. All of Glen Heights, all of San Ramos, and a few of the private schools in between have shown up for this little friendly blowout. ZZ Top’s “Legs” blares over the vicinity, and the ground shakes with all of the bodies thumping in his palatial backyard.

  Jennifer and I weave our way through the crowd until we spot Russell himself with Joel standing by the cooler.

  “What’s up?” I smack them both on the arm. “Just a few friends, huh?”

  “What can I say?” Russell pulls Heather in as she dances by. “You’re a popular guy.”

  The song comes to an end, and “Rio” starts up.

  “Duran Duran!” Jennifer screams and plucks at her two best friends. “We have to dance!” She pulls them a few feet over, and the girls start moving. Jennifer swings her hips, her whole face lights up, and those eyes, they shine like springtime. It was never the rain. It was Jennifer who made everything new.

  “You’re whipped.” Joel lands a heavy hand on my arm.

  “I can say the same for you”—I glance to Russ who seems mesmerized by Heather—“to both of you.”

  “I’m whipped.” Joel sags over my shoulder as he takes in Melissa.

  Russ huffs a dull laugh. “I’m fucking whipped.”

  “Soak in these last few weeks, boys.” Joel swipes a soda from the table behind him and tosses us each a can. “They’ll go by quick, and, like it or not, these are the glory days.”

  “Glory days,” I say it somber, heartfelt, as I watch the most beautiful girl at the party toss her hands in the air and knock her hips into her friends. I always want to remember her like this—happy, carefree, with a never-ending smile on her face. It sure as hell feels glorious.

  The song comes to an end, and Spandau Ballet’s “True” warbles over the speakers.

  The girls come back, each one falling into our respective arms. Melissa and Joel start swaying to the music. Heather and Russell fall into a lip-lock while their hips move in time.

  “You want to dance?” Jen smooths her hands over my back and rocks my hips into hers.

  “Yes.” I take her by the hand. “And I know just the place to do it.” I lead Jen into the house and up the grand staircase, through the labyrinth of halls until we hit Russell’s bedroom, and I entomb us inside. “Bring back any memories?” I dot her nose with a kiss.

  “Just the good ones.” Jennifer glides her hands up my shirt, and my skin catches fire from her simple touch. “Um—on the subject of memories, there’s something I need to confess.” She wrinkles her nose and looks cute as hell in the process. “That first day I came to your house to tutor Jilly, I may have accidentally wandered into your room, and—well, I broke that frame you keep in your nightstand.” She winces. “Please forgive me! I’m a horrible person.”

  “You’re not a horrible person.” I dot her lips with a kiss. “And there’s nothing to forgive.”

  “The woman in the picture, is that your mom?” She hesitates when asking as if unsure if she should go there.

  “Yes. And she’s pretty nice, despite the fact she’s not that into my day-to-day life. She’s sort of the see-you-on-your-birthday, the-biggest-present-will-be-from-me-on-Christmas type. We’re not that close but, hey, I’ll take what I can get. You’ll meet her one day. She’ll like you.”

  “Speaking of memories—how about we make some new ones?” My lips drag a slow line over her cheek.

  “Funny, I was thinking the same thing. I think we should do something we’ve never done before.”

  I inch back to get a better look at this beautiful girl in front of me with her eyes lit up like a bonfire. “What are you thinking?”

  Her teeth glow like lightning as she grazes over her bottom lip. “I was sort of hoping you’d gift me a necklace to go with this bracelet.”

  My mouth opens, then closes as I get exactly what it is she’s requesting. I dig my fingers into the back of her hair, take in her spiced perfume that drives me insane, and smile at her, Jennifer Barkly, my girlfriend.

  “Sounds wild,” I whisper.

  “It will be.”

  My lips find hers, and we indulge in a greedy exchange that ushers us into a new era of being. Wild meets mild in the very best way. My mouth tracks lower until I settle on that perfect neck, and I take my time, gifting her that necklace I’ve so badly wanted to give her, loving on her body for the next few hours.

  Jen and I surpass wild, we redefine mild, and meld the two until together we become what we were destined to be from the start—perfection.

  Epilogue

  Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)

  Jennifer

  In a year that’s felt like a whirlwind, a year that was marked with both scars and sutures, it has buffed and polished me until I feel like a sparkling gem glowing for all to see. That’s exactly how I feel when I get out of the limo, link my arm through Jessie’s, and we head into the venue at the Davenport Hotel with its expansive ocean views and crystal encrusted oversized chandeliers. It feels like yesterday we were here for last year’s prom, only I wasn’t with the boy of my dreams, and that’s what makes tonight infinitely more special. We head inside as Modern English’s “I Melt with You” pours over the airwaves, and immediately, Melissa pulls Joel out onto the dance floor. It’s sort of their song.

  Amy Brineman comes over looking cute in her bright pink lace dress, and our mouths drop when we see the handsome, familiar face by her side.


  “Peter?” Heather has that look on her face that suggests she doesn’t know whether to hug him or to kick him.

  “Don’t hate.” He ducks a little. “It’s good to be back.” He wraps an arm around Amy, and she blushes while looking up at him. “And it’s nice to be back with my girl—for good this time.”

  “You look great, man.” Jessie gives him a sock to the arm. “Be good to her, dude.”

  “You bet.” He pulls her to the dance floor and waves us over. “Who’s in?” He lets out a wild whoop, and we stagger toward the swaying crowd. Peter always was a fan of busting the moves.

  “You’re not going to make me do this, are you?” Jessie winces as I pull him deep into the crowd.

  “I’m going to make you do this.” I pull his hands to my waist, move my hips against his, and he follows suit. That dirty grin of his blooms on his lips.

  “I like this.” He twitches his brows. A part of me melts a little every time he looks at me that way. “I can do this all night long.” He presses his body to mine, and we move together as one.

  “I have other plans for you, all night long.” Now, it’s my turn with the dirty grin. Jessie rented us a room upstairs, where I’m sure we’ll be doing exactly this with far less clothing involved.

  “The Barbarian misses his Genie.”

  “Oh?” I tug my finger underneath his chin, teasing. “Does he have a wish he needs granted?”

  “A big one.” He leans in and presses his lips to my ear. “It’s a hard one, too.”

  I belt out a laugh as Jessie and I dance right here at our senior prom, together, perfect, with our friends surrounding us, just as happy as we are.

  The night wears thin, and a familiar clicking rhythm takes over the speakers.

  “This is our song.” Jessie wraps his arms around me once again and pulls me from Melissa and Heather. “Excuse us.”

  The Thompson Twins “Hold Me Now” bleats overhead as throngs of couples congregate to the dance floor.