Page 8 of Barry Lyndon


  CHAPTER VII. BARRY LEADS A GARRISON LIFE, AND FINDS MANY FRIENDS THERE

  After the war our regiment was garrisoned in the capital, the leastdull, perhaps, of all the towns of Prussia: but that does not say muchfor its gaiety. Our service, which was always severe, still left manyhours of the day disengaged, in which we might take our pleasure had wethe means of paying for the same. Many of our mess got leave to workin trades; but I had been brought up to none: and besides, my honourforbade me; for as a gentleman, I could not soil my fingers by a manualoccupation. But our pay was barely enough to keep us from starving; andas I have always been fond of pleasure, and as the position in which wenow were, in the midst of the capital, prevented us from resorting tothose means of levying contributions which are always pretty feasible inwartime, I was obliged to adopt the only means left me of providingfor my expenses: and in a word became the ORDONNANZ, or confidentialmilitary gentleman, of my captain. I spurned the office four yearspreviously, when it was made to me in the English service; but theposition is very different in a foreign country; besides, to tell thetruth, after five years in the ranks, a man's pride will submit to manyrebuffs which would be intolerable to him in an independent condition.

  The captain was a young man and had distinguished himself during thewar, or he would never have been advanced to rank so early. He was,moreover, the nephew and heir of the Minister of Police, Monsieur dePotzdorff, a relationship which no doubt aided in the young gentleman'spromotion. Captain de Potzdorff was a severe officer enough on parade orin barracks, but he was a person easily led by flattery. I won his heartin the first place by my manner of tying my hair in queue (indeed,it was more neatly dressed than that of any man in the regiment),and subsequently gained his confidence by a thousand little arts andcompliments, which as a gentleman myself I knew how to employ. He was aman of pleasure, which he pursued more openly than most men in the sternCourt of the King; he was generous and careless with his purse, and hehad a great affection for Rhine wine: in all which qualities I sincerelysympathised with him; and from which I, of course, had my profit. He wasdisliked in the regiment, because he was supposed to have too intimaterelations with his uncle the Police Minister; to whom, it was hinted, hecarried the news of the corps.

  Before long I had ingratiated myself considerably with my officer,and knew most of his affairs. Thus I was relieved from many drills andparades, which would otherwise have fallen to my lot, and came in for anumber of perquisites; which enabled me to support a genteel figure andto appear with some ECLAT in a certain, though it must be confessed veryhumble, society in Berlin. Among the ladies I was always an especialfavourite, and so polished was my behaviour amongst them, that theycould not understand how I should have obtained my frightful nickname ofthe Black Devil in the regiment. 'He is not so black as he is painted,'I laughingly would say; and most of the ladies agreed that the privatewas quite as well-bred as the captain: as indeed how should it beotherwise, considering my education and birth?

  When I was sufficiently ingratiated with him, I asked leave to address aletter to my poor mother in Ireland, to whom I had not given any news ofmyself for many many years; for the letters of the foreign soldiers werenever admitted to the post, for fear of appeals or disturbances on thepart of their parents abroad. My captain agreed to find means to forwardthe letter, and as I knew that he would open it, I took care to give ithim unsealed; thus showing my confidence in him. But the letter was, asyou may imagine, written so that the writer should come to no harm wereit intercepted. I begged my honoured mother's forgiveness for havingfled from her; I said that my extravagance and folly in my own countryI knew rendered my return thither impossible; but that she would, atleast, be glad to know that I was well and happy in the service of thegreatest monarch in the world, and that the soldier's life was mostagreeable to me: and, I added, that I had found a kind protector andpatron, who I hoped would some day provide for me as I knew it was outof her power to do. I offered remembrances to all the girls at CastleBrady, naming them from Biddy to Becky downwards, and signed myself,as in truth I was, her affectionate son, Redmond Barry, in CaptainPotzdorffs company of the Bulowisch regiment of foot in garrison atBerlin. Also I told her a pleasant story about the King kicking theChancellor and three judges downstairs, as he had done one day when Iwas on guard at Potsdam, and said I hoped for another war soon, when Imight rise to be an officer. In fact, you might have imagined my letterto be that of the happiest fellow in the world, and I was not on thishead at all sorry to mislead my kind parent.

  I was sure my letter was read, for Captain Potzdorff began asking mesome days afterwards about my family, and I told him the circumstancespretty truly, all things considered. I was a cadet of a good family, butmy mother was almost ruined and had barely enough to support her eightdaughters, whom I named. I had been to study for the law at Dublin,where I had got into debt and bad company, had killed a man in aduel, and would be hanged or imprisoned by his powerful friends, if Ireturned. I had enlisted in the English service, where an opportunityfor escape presented itself to me such as I could not resist; andhereupon I told the story of Mr. Fakenham of Fakenham in such a way asmade my patron to be convulsed with laughter, and he told me afterwardsthat he had repeated the story at Madame de Kamake's evening assembly,where all the world was anxious to have a sight of the young Englander.

  'Was the British Ambassador there?' I asked, in a tone of the greatestalarm, and added, 'For Heaven's sake, sir, do not tell my name to him,or he might ask to have me delivered up: and I have no fancy to go tobe hanged in my dear native country.' Potzdorff, laughing, said he wouldtake care that I should remain where I was, on which I swore eternalgratitude to him.

  Some days afterwards, and with rather a grave face, he said to me,'Redmond, I have been talking to our colonel about you, and as Iwondered that a fellow of your courage and talents had not been advancedduring the war, the general said they had had their eye upon you: thatyou were a gallant soldier, and had evidently come of a good stock; thatno man in the regiment had had less fault found with him; but that noman merited promotion less. You were idle, dissolute, and unprincipled;you had done a deal of harm to the men; and, for all your talents andbravery, he was sure would come to no good.'

  'Sir!' said I, quite astonished that any mortal man should have formedsuch an opinion of me, 'I hope General Bulow is mistaken regarding mycharacter. I have fallen into bad company, it is true; but I have onlydone as other soldiers have done; and, above all, I have never had akind friend and protector before, to whom I might show that I was worthyof better things. The general may say I am a ruined lad, and send me tothe d---l: but be sure of this, I would go to the d---l to serve YOU.'This speech I saw pleased my patron very much; and, as I was verydiscreet and useful in a thousand delicate ways to him, he soon came tohave a sincere attachment for me. One day, or rather night, when hewas tete-a-tete with the lady of the Tabaks Rath von Dose for instance,I--But there is no use in telling affairs which concern nobody now.

  Four months after my letter to my mother, I got, under cover to theCaptain, a reply, which created in my mind a yearning after home, anda melancholy which I cannot describe. I had not seen the dear soul'swriting for five years. All the old days, and the fresh happy sunshineof the old green fields in Ireland, and her love, and my uncle, and PhilPurcell, and everything that I had done and thought, came back to meas I read the letter; and when I was alone I cried over it, as I hadn'tdone since the day when Nora jilted me. I took care not to show myfeelings to the regiment or my captain: but that night, when I wasto have taken tea at the Garden-house outside Brandenburg Gate, withFraulein Lottchen (the Tabaks Rathinn's gentlewoman of company), Isomehow had not the courage to go; but begged to be excused, and wentearly to bed in barracks, out of which I went and came now almost as Iwilled, and passed a long night weeping and thinking about dear Ireland.

  Next day, my spirits rose again and I got a ten-guinea bill cashed,which my mother sent in the letter, and gave a handsome treat to some ofmy acqua
intance. The poor soul's letter was blotted all over with tears,full of texts, and written in the wildest incoherent way. She saidshe was delighted to think I was under a Protestant prince, though shefeared he was not in the right way: that right way, she said, she hadthe blessing to find, under the guidance of the Reverend Joshua Jowls,whom she sat under. She said he was a precious chosen vessel; a sweetointment and precious box of spikenard; and made use of a great numbermore phrases that I could not understand; but one thing was clear in themidst of all this jargon, that the good soul loved her son still, andthought and prayed day and night for her wild Redmond. Has it not comeacross many a poor fellow, in a solitary night's watch, or in sorrow,sickness, or captivity, that at that very minute, most likely, hismother is praying for him? I often have had these thoughts; but they arenone of the gayest, and it's quite as well that they don't come to youin company; for where would be a set of jolly fellows then?--as mute asundertakers at a funeral, I promise you. I drank my mother's health thatnight in a bumper, and lived like a gentleman whilst the money lasted.She pinched herself to give it me, as she told me afterwards; and Mr.Jowls was very wroth with her. Although the good soul's money was veryquickly spent, I was not long in getting more; for I had a hundred waysof getting it, and became a universal favourite with the Captain andhis friends. Now, it was Madame von Dose who gave me a Frederic-d'or forbringing her a bouquet or a letter from the Captain; now it was, onthe contrary, the old Privy Councillor who treated me with a bottle ofRhenish, and slipped into my hand a dollar or two, in order that I mightgive him some information regarding the liaison between my captain andhis lady. But though I was not such a fool as not to take his money, youmay be sure I was not dishonourable enough to betray my benefactor; andhe got very little out of ME. When the Captain and the lady fell out,and he began to pay his addresses to the rich daughter of the DutchMinister, I don't know how many more letters and guineas the unfortunateTabaks Rathinn handed over to me, that I might get her lover back again.But such returns are rare in love, and the Captain used only to laugh ather stale sighs and entreaties. In the house of Mynheer Van GuldensackI made myself so pleasant to high and low, that I came to be quiteintimate there: and got the knowledge of a state secret or two, whichsurprised and pleased my captain very much. These little hints hecarried to his uncle, the Minister of Police, who, no doubt, madehis advantage of them; and thus I began to be received quite in aconfidential light by the Potzdorff family, and became a mere nominalsoldier, being allowed to appear in plain clothes (which were, I warrantyou, of a neat fashion), and to enjoy myself in a hundred ways, whichthe poor fellows my comrades envied. As for the sergeants, they were ascivil to me as to an officer: it was as much as their stripes were worthto offend a person who had the ear of the Minister's nephew. There wasin my company a young fellow by the name of Kurz, who was six feet highin spite of his name, and whose life I had saved in some affair ofthe war. What does this lad do, after I had recounted to him one of myadventures, but call me a spy and informer, and beg me not to callhim DU any more, as is the fashion with young men when they are veryintimate. I had nothing for it but to call him out; but I owed him nogrudge. I disarmed him in a twinkling; and as I sent his sword flyingover his head, said to him, 'Kurz, did ever you know a man guilty ofa mean action who can do as I do now?' This silenced the rest of thegrumblers; and no man ever sneered at me after that.

  No man can suppose that to a person of my fashion the waiting inantechambers, the conversation of footmen and hangers-on, was pleasant.But it was not more degrading than the barrack-room, of which I need notsay I was heartily sick. My protestations of liking for the army wereall intended to throw dust into the eyes of my employer. I sighed to beout of slavery. I knew I was born to make a figure in the world. Had Ibeen one of the Neiss garrison, I would have cut my way to freedomby the side of the gallant Frenchman; but here I had only artifice toenable me to attain my end, and was not I justified in employing it? Myplan was this: I may make myself so necessary to M. de Potzdorff, thathe will obtain my freedom. Once free, with my fine person and goodfamily, I will do what ten thousand Irish gentlemen have done before,and will marry a lady of fortune and condition. And the proof that Iwas, if not disinterested, at least actuated by a noble ambition, isthis. There was a fat grocer's widow in Berlin with six hundred thalersof rent, and a good business, who gave me to understand that she wouldpurchase my discharge if I would marry her; but I frankly told her thatI was not made to be a grocer, and thus absolutely flung away a chanceof freedom which she offered me.

  And I was grateful to my employers; more grateful than they to me. TheCaptain was in debt, and had dealings with the Jews, to whom he gavenotes of hand payable on his uncle's death. The old Herr von Potzdorff,seeing the confidence his nephew had in me, offered to bribe me to knowwhat the young man's affairs really were. But what did I do? I informedMonsieur George von Potzdorff of the fact; and we made out, in concert,a list of little debts, so moderate, that they actually appeased the olduncle instead of irritating, and he paid them, being glad to get off socheap.

  And a pretty return I got for this fidelity. One morning, the oldgentleman being closeted with his nephew (he used to come to get anynews stirring as to what the young officers of the regiment were doing:whether this or that gambled; who intrigued, and with whom; who was atthe ridotto on such a night; who was in debt, and what not; for the Kingliked to know the business of every officer in his army), I wassent with a letter to the Marquis d'Argens (that afterwards marriedMademoiselle Cochois the actress), and, meeting the Marquis at a fewpaces off in the street, gave my message, and returned to the Captain'slodging. He and his worthy uncle were making my unworthy self thesubject of conversation.

  'He is noble,' said the Captain.

  'Bah!' replied the uncle (whom I could have throttled for hisinsolence). 'All the beggarly Irish who ever enlisted tell the samestory.'

  'He was kidnapped by Galgenstein,' resumed the other.

  'A kidnapped deserter,' said M. Potzdorff; 'la belle affaire!'

  'Well, I promised the lad I would ask for his discharge; and I am sureyou can make him useful.'

  'You HAVE asked his discharge,' answered the elder, laughing. 'Bon Dieu!You are a model of probity! You'll never succeed to my place, George, ifyou are no wiser than you are just now. Make the fellow as useful to youas you please. He has a good manner and a frank countenance. He can liewith an assurance that I never saw surpassed, and fight, you say, on apinch. The scoundrel does not want for good qualities; but he is vain, aspendthrift, and a bavard. As long as you have the regiment in terroremover him, you can do as you like with him. Once let him loose, and thelad is likely to give you the slip. Keep on promising him; promise tomake him a general, if you like. What the deuce do I care? There arespies enough to be had in this town without him.'

  It was thus that the services I rendered to M. Potzdorff were qualifiedby that ungrateful old gentleman; and I stole away from the roomextremely troubled in spirit, to think that another of my fond dreamswas thus dispelled; and that my hopes of getting out of the army,by being useful to the Captain, were entirely vain. For some timemy despair was such, that I thought of marrying the widow; but themarriages of privates are never allowed without the direct permissionof the King; and it was a matter of very great doubt whether His Majestywould allow a young fellow of twenty-two, the handsomest man of hisarmy, to be coupled to a pimplefaced old widow of sixty, who wasquite beyond the age when her marriage would be likely to multiply thesubjects of His Majesty. This hope of liberty was therefore vain; norcould I hope to purchase my discharge, unless any charitable soul wouldlend me a large sum of money; for, though I made a good deal, as Ihave said, yet I have always had through life an incorrigible knack ofspending, and (such is my generosity of disposition) have been in debtever since I was born.

  My captain, the sly rascal! gave me a very different version of hisconversation with his uncle to that which I knew to be the true one; andsaid smilingly to me, 'Redmond, I have spoken to the
Minister regardingthy services,[Footnote: The service about which Mr. Barry here speakshas, and we suspect purposely, been described by him in very dubiousterms. It is most probable that he was employed to wait at the tableof strangers in Berlin, and to bring to the Police Minister any newsconcerning them which might at all interest the Government. The greatFrederick never received a guest without taking these hospitableprecautions; and as for the duels which Mr. Barry fights, may we beallowed to hint a doubt as to a great number of these combats. It willbe observed, in one or two other parts of his Memoirs, that whenever heis at an awkward pass, or does what the world does not usually considerrespectable, a duel, in which he is victorious, is sure to ensue; fromwhich he argues that he is a man of undoubted honour.] and thy fortuneis made. We shall get thee out of the army, appoint thee to the policebureau, and procure for thee an inspectorship of customs; and, in fine,allow thee to move in a better sphere than that in which Fortune hashitherto placed thee.

  Although I did not believe a word of this speech, I affected to be verymuch moved by it, and of course swore eternal gratitude to the Captainfor his kindness to the poor Irish castaway.

  'Your service at the Dutch Minister's has pleased me very well. There isanother occasion on which you may make yourself useful to us; and if yousucceed, depend on it your reward will be secure.'

  'What is the service, sir?' said I; 'I will do anything for so kind amaster.'

  'There is lately come to Berlin,' said the Captain, 'a gentleman inthe service of the Empress-Queen, who calls himself the Chevalier deBalibari, and wears the red riband and star of the Pope's order of theSpur. He speaks Italian or French indifferently; but we have somereason to fancy this Monsieur de Balibari is a native of your country ofIreland. Did you ever hear such a name as Balibari in Ireland?'

  'Balibari? Balyb--?' A sudden thought flashed across me. 'No, sir,' saidI, 'I never heard the name.'

  'You must go into his service. Of course you will not know a word ofEnglish: and if the Chevalier asks as to the particularity of youraccent, say you are a Hungarian. The servant who came with him will beturned away to-day, and the person to whom he has applied for a faithfulfellow will recommend you. You are a Hungarian; you served in the SevenYears' War. You left the army on account of weakness of the loins. Youserved Monsieur de Quellenberg two years; he is now with the army inSilesia, but there is your certificate signed by him. You afterwardslived with Doctor Mopsius, who will give you a character, if need be;and the landlord of the "Star" will, of course, certify that you are anhonest fellow: but his certificate goes for nothing. As for the rest ofyour story, you can fashion that as you will, and make it as romanticor as ludicrous as your fancy dictates. Try, however, to win theChevalier's confidence by provoking his compassion. He gambles a greatdeal, and WINS. Do you know the cards well?'

  'Only a very little, as soldiers do.'

  'I had thought you more expert. You must find out if the Chevaliercheats; if he does, we have him. He sees the English and Austrian envoyscontinually, and the young men of either Ministry sup repeatedly at hishouse. Find out what they talk of; for how much each plays, especiallyif any of them play on parole: if you can read his private letters, ofcourse you will; though about those which go to the post, you need nottrouble yourself; we look at them there. But never see him write a notewithout finding out to whom it goes, and by what channel or messenger.He sleeps with the keys of his despatch-box on a string round his neck.Twenty Frederics, if you get an impression of the keys. You will, ofcourse, go in plain clothes. You had best brush the powder out of yourhair, and tie it with a riband simply; your moustache you must of courseshave off.

  With these instructions, and a very small gratuity, the Captain left me.When I again saw him, he was amused at the change in my appearance.I had, not without a pang (for they were as black as jet, and curledelegantly), shaved off my moustaches; had removed the odious grease andflour, which I always abominated, out of my hair; had mounted a demureFrench grey coat, black satin breeches, and a maroon plush waistcoat,and a hat without a cockade. I looked as meek and humble as any servantout of place could possibly appear; and I think not my own regiment,which was now at the review at Potsdam, would have known me. Thusaccoutred, I went to the 'Star Hotel,' where this stranger was,--myheart beating with anxiety, and something telling me that this Chevalierde Balibari was no other than Barry, of Ballybarry, my father's eldestbrother, who had given up his estate in consequence of his obstinateadherence to the Romish superstition. Before I went in to presentmyself, I went to look in the remises at his carriage. Had he the Barryarms? Yes, there they were: argent, a bend gules, with four escallops ofthe field,--the ancient coat of my house. They were painted in a shieldabout as big as my hat, on a smart chariot handsomely gilded, surmountedwith a coronet, and supported by eight or nine Cupids, cornucopias, andflower-baskets, according to the queer heraldic fashion of those days.It must be he! I felt quite feint as I went up the stairs. I was goingto present myself before my uncle in the character of a servant!

  'You are the young man whom M. de Seebach recommended?'

  I bowed, and handed him a letter from that gentleman, with which mycaptain had taken care to provide me. As he looked at it I had leisureto examine him. My uncle was a man of sixty years of age, dressedsuperbly in a coat and breeches of apricot-coloured velvet, a whitesatin waistcoat embroidered with gold like the coat. Across his breastwent the purple riband of his order of the Spur; and the star of theorder, an enormous one, sparkled on his breast. He had rings on all hisfingers, a couple of watches in his fobs, a rich diamond solitaire inthe black riband round his neck, and fastened to the bag of his wig; hisruffles and frills were decorated with a profusion of the richest lace.He had pink silk stockings rolled over the knee, and tied with goldgarters; and enormous diamond buckles to his red-heeled shoes. A swordmounted in gold, in a white fish-skin scabbard; and a hat richly laced,and lined with white feathers, which were lying on a table beside him,completed the costume of this splendid gentleman. In height he wasabout my size, that is, six feet and half an inch; his cast of featuressingularly like mine, and extremely distingue. One of his eyes wasclosed with a black patch, however; he wore a little white and redpaint, by no means an unusual ornament in those days; and a pair ofmoustaches, which fell over his lip and hid a mouth that I afterwardsfound had rather a disagreeable expression. When his beard was removed,the upper teeth appeared to project very much; and his countenance worea ghastly fixed smile, by no means pleasant.

  It was very imprudent of me; but when I saw the splendour of hisappearance, the nobleness of his manner, I felt it impossible to keepdisguise with him; and when he said, 'Ah, you are a Hungarian, I see!' Icould hold no longer.

  'Sir,' said I, 'I am an Irishman, and my name is Redmond Barry, ofBallybarry.' As I spoke, I burst into tears; I can't tell why; but I hadseen none of my kith or kin for six years, and my heart longed for someone.