Chapter 3 – Vain Worry for Fay...
So I hold my breath each time Fay presents a new snow globe to me.
Fay's smile curls as she watches amazement spread across my face. “I've seen a new glimmer, Adam.”
“Another glimmer.” I smile though I have more reason to frown. The sparkles and reflections Fay often discovers in our travels into the snow globes often taste bitter upon my tongue. “Do you think we can rediscover his trail, Fay?”
“I'm certain we will.”
Fay's halos brighten in her excitement, until their transparency thickens to almost obscure the snow globes that line my wall behind her. Motes of pearl dance about my room as Fay's silver hair waves in wind I cannot feel.
“I know we will find him, Adam. The Regent leaves each piece of glass behind just for me.”
I take a short breath. Fay's happiness is a strong medicine for me, and I cannot easily ask the hard questions. “Are you sure the Regent wants you to find him?”
“Of course he wants me to find him,” Fay whispers as her eyes peer deeply into mine. “Why would you think otherwise?”
I peek at all the snow globes lined upon my walls. “We have gone to say many places, but we never seem to catch up to him. We go wherever a piece of glass sparkles, but the Regent is never still there when we arrive.”
Fay frowns. Her voice is short. “Are you saying you're tired of traveling with me? Forgive me, Adam, I didn't realize I burdened you with such magic.”
“Of course you don't burden me,” I sigh.
“Then does my magic pain you? I thought it made you feel better.”
“Of course your magic brings me comfort.”
Fay grins. She knows she has traps me in the logic. Logic never wins an argument against Fay.
“As you're happy with the places I show, then why should you care if we see the Regent or not?”
My shoulders sag. How do I explain my concern to a creature such as Fay? “I worry for you. I worry he toys with you, that he strings you along.”
Fay remains still as stone for several long, excruciating minutes. I have never seen Fay remain still for so long. She has always seemed a fidgeting and pacing kind of a creature. My throat tightens. I worry that I have gone too far, that my honesty offends Fay. I worry that Fay will dissipate in a blink of my eye and leave me to the afflictions that fester within me.
“You cannot understand how difficult it is for him, Adam.” Fay finally answers. “He is counted among the most prestigious and powerful of my kind. His caste is much higher than my own. He is a very Regent. Only the Regents my supply our King with counsel, and he is among our King's favorites. He would lose everything should the love between us be discovered. He needs time to find a way for us to be together, Adam. He needs some separation in order to find a plan. We need to find a place free from so many eyes. You cannot dream of the worlds I have seen. You cannot imagine what worlds you are still yet to discover. It's only that our King's vision extends so very far. The words of a Regent are never vainly given. I would trust him no matter my caste.”
“Of course, Fay.” I know nothing about the politics of Fay's kind. “I did not mean to hurt.”
I lean against my bed's headboard and hope that Fay does not vanish.
“And who is Adam Franklin to worry about Fay?” She winks, and I smile to know that I did not chase her away. “I can take care of myself. The likes of Fay are not to be rescued by a clumsy man. I take care of you, Adam. Not the other way around.”
“I am grateful for it, Fay.”
I refuse to think that the sharp pains that blossom behind my left eye – that the symptoms of hurt I have fought against through such difficult treatments – are planted by Fay. I refuse to let myself think that Fay's magic might be responsible for the growth that swelled within my skull. Fay would never summon hurt to empower a point. Fay strokes my forehead and her halos soothe my lingering pain, spilling motes of pearl upon me as her silver hair falls upon my shoulder.
In her touch, in her glow, and in her magic, I swallow the suspicion that makes me worry for my sweet Fay. My imagination again hears the song of the Monarch Court.
“Where does the snow globe take us next?'
“I think the worlds are too wonderful for names.” Fay gives me that answer every time I ask. “You'll see in the end. It's important that the beginning be a time for mystery.”
Fay's hand again holds the snow globe. Its glass glows and pulsates as if driven by a living heart. Soon its light outshines Fay's halos. My room's details fade in the bright light. I nod to tell her that I'm ready. Fay turns the snow globe upside down then right-side up. I watch as the snow globe's motes of silver and white sway.
Fay sets the snow globe upon the nightstand next to my pillow. The light is too bright for my eyes. I know that to keep them open will only bring more pain and further delay my travel. Fay's magic is better to be felt than to be seen.
I close my eyes and wait. My heart hammers as I wonder what I will look upon when next opening my eyes. I wonder what world will next surround me.
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