“I found a beautiful B&B on the Internet. It’s downtown.”
She told them the name of it and Nick whistled.
“No bargain,” he said.
“Gosh, it might’ve been a better deal for me to buy another mattress and box spring than for you to stay there,” Olivia said. “We have three empty bedrooms that need to be furnished anyway.”
“Well, neither one of us thought that part through, but it’s not a big deal. I want to see the historic district anyway. The next time I’d love to stay here if you’ll have me,” Roni said. “But right now, I’m thinking I’d like to be in this gorgeous water up to my neck!”
“Well, ladies? It appears that we have two choices. Either we can go downtown and have a delightful meal and see the sights. Or we can go for a swim now, which I recommend. And then have dinner at someplace casual east of the Cooper,” Nick said.
“What does ‘east of the Cooper’ mean?” Roni said.
Nick said, “Ah! It’s secret code. It’s where we are until you reach and cross the Cooper River. Remember that big bridge you drove over that takes you from Charleston to Mount Pleasant? The one with the port and all the container ships under it? It’s over there!”
Nick turned and pointed to the Ravenel Bridge on the horizon.
“Yes! Of course,” Roni said.
“That is the Cooper River. We are east of it. Now, if you went to the other side of the peninsula, there’s another river. The Ashley. If you cross the Ashley River Bridge, you are west of the Ashley.”
“Now I understand! All these years I could never quite get the distinction,” Olivia said.
“Well now! She’s got it! So, again, either you are east of the Cooper, on the peninsula, or west of the Ashley. And then there’s south of Broad, of course.”
“What, pray tell, is south of Broad?” Roni asked.
“It’s the oldest and some would argue most historic part of Charleston,” Nick said. “Not that there aren’t other important historic areas north of Broad Street.”
“Ah! So Broad is a street and not a river!” Roni said.
“Correct,” Nick said. “So what will it be, ladies?”
“I’m thinking I’d like a swim,” Olivia said. “Well, maybe a wade in the water.”
“Don’t make me sing,” Nick said. Nick was referring to the old spiritual “Wade in the Water,” but Olivia, unfamiliar with the genre, didn’t get the connection.
Neither did Roni.
“You mean Kristen Wiig? That SNL sketch?” Roni said. “Funniest thing I ever saw! Ha! Oh! Don’t make me sing!” Roni began to laugh and laugh and couldn’t stop. Every time she tried to collect herself, she’d look at Nick and crack up all over again. “Remember the cats? They were out there on the balcony rail just howling?”
Nick had no clue what SNL stood for. Olivia had no idea what she was talking about either. They just looked on, mystified, as Roni cackled.
“Don’t you watch Saturday Night Live?” Roni said, trying to help them understand.
“I haven’t watched Saturday Night Live since Dan Aykroyd called Jane Curtin an ignorant slut,” Olivia said. “I can’t stay up that late anymore.”
“Ignorant slut!” Roni broke into laughter again. “Remember them? Oh, God, they were hilarious! And Bill Murray was that dweeb Todd giving noogies to Gilda Radner? Oh! They were so ridiculous!”
“Oh!” Nick said, finally figuring out what SNL meant. Jesus, he thought, I’m older than Adam’s house cat! “And just who is this Kristen Wiig?”
Roni explained, but it still meant nothing to Nick, who honestly preferred Ken Burns’s documentaries or Book TV for television entertainment.
Nick said, “Okay, so let’s go for a swim now and I’ll take you crazy girls out to dinner afterward. How does that sound?”
“Oh, God!” Roni said, finally regaining her composure. “I haven’t laughed that hard in ages! Remember the Coneheads?”
“Yes. They were great. Anyway, good idea, Nick.” Olivia said to Roni, “Come on, you lunatic! Get a grip.”
“Right!” Roni said. “Sorry.”
They walked back to the house, quickly changed into their swimsuits, grabbed towels, and hurried back to the beach. Nick dropped his towel and sunglasses on the sand and ran into the water with abandon, diving under a wave.
“He looks like a kid!” Roni said, wading into the water over her knees.
“That’s my nature boy. I don’t think I’ve never seen him so happy!” Olivia said, laughing, following Roni and going in farther until the water covered their waists. “Should I get my hair wet?”
“Who cares?” Roni said. “I’m getting mine wet.” She dove under the water, coming up ten feet away from her.
Nick swam toward them. “Come on! Jump in!”
“Are there fish in here?” Olivia said, concerned because the water was opaque and she couldn’t see her feet as she could in the waters of the Caribbean. In Necker Island she could go in the water up to her chin and look down to see if her nail polish was chipped on her little toe.
Nick started laughing, “Oh, no! There are no fish in this part of the ocean! They’re all out there!” He pointed in the direction of Johns Island. “No fish at all!”
Roni laughed and Olivia laughed then too.
“They’re shy,” Roni said.
“Oh, screw both of you and my hair too,” Olivia said and swam out a distance. Then she threw herself on her back to float. Olivia was a strong if infrequent swimmer, but floating just seemed to be a better idea.
If Nick and Roni were still teasing her, she couldn’t hear them because the water covering her ears created a vacuum, a lovely silent vacuum. She was suspended by salt, floating along for the longest time, looking up at the clouds moving overhead. And she felt good, really good. It didn’t matter then that the IRS and the State of New York were interested in her. Who cared about money? Well, she did, because they needed it sort of desperately. But maybe Maritza was going to save them with another house to decorate. This was the ultimate state of blissful therapy. Yes! When she was worried, she thought, I’ll just come down to this beach and float right here in the water! What could be more relaxing? Maybe this was what Maritza meant when she compared a visit with her to a walk on the beach. She felt better too! She marveled at how absolutely wonderful it was, so she just continued to drift, ignoring the world. All she could hear was the low rumble of an engine in the distance. Then, out of nowhere, she felt something nudge her. Was it a shark? She jumped, frightened only to realize that the water she was in was way over her head. To her complete horror, she was in the channel! Panic set in. She began to spin around frantically, looking around for Nick and Roni. They were on the beach, tiny dots in the distance, waving to her. Something nudged her again and Nick jumped in the water and began swimming toward her. Then he stopped and went back. She was too far out. Then there was the deafening blast of a horn, a foghorn. But there was no fog. But there was a container ship rounding the bend and entering the channel. It would run her over if she couldn’t get away fast enough. The undertow was increasing and Olivia was being dragged farther out by it. Something nudged her again, and it kept coming back and pushing her toward the shore. But it was still a long way to safety. The ship was coming toward her, moving at a brisk clip, and the weight of it naturally caused a powerful dispersal of the water. If Olivia couldn’t manage to get back to the shallows, she was in real danger. She knew this instinctively and something—she didn’t know what—kept pushing her, giving her a boost, propelling her ahead, yards at a time. Maybe she was having surges of adrenaline. She swam on, fighting the undertow. The ship grew closer. Finally, just as she was so exhausted and almost ready to accept the fact that she might not make it, she felt something huge, a body underneath her and she grabbed it, throwing her arms around it. It might have been a shark. She didn’t know or care. All she knew was that it was taking her toward Nick and it was her only chance to make it. Her face was in the water and it seemed then as thou
gh she was swallowing the ocean through her nose and mouth. Was she drowning? Suddenly this thing, this beast she had her arms around, began to roll its body in the surf, trying to shake her off.
“Let go!”
She heard this again and again and wasn’t sure if the words were meant for her or not. Who was calling her?
“Let go!” She recognized Nick and Roni’s voices, pleading with her. “Olivia! Let go!”
She let go, and whatever it was that had brought her to safety swam away. She tried to stand but collapsed in water that was less than three feet deep.
The next thing she remembered, something was pushing on her chest hard enough to crack her ribs and she expelled salt water in a great gush.
“Ms. Ritchie? Ms. Ritchie?” The voice, a pleasant male voice, seemed to be coming from very far away.
“Ms. Ritchie? Come on, now. Open your eyes. You’re all right.”
She looked up into the eyes of a young off-duty paramedic who just happened to be there on the beach, line fishing. He had seen the whole episode unfold and jumped in to help. She began to cough and cough, and to her embarrassment, her chest convulsed again and she heaved even more water onto the beach. She continued to cough.
“Thank God! Thank you, sir!” Nick said. “How can we ever repay you?”
“Oh, God! Thank God!” Roni said. “Olivia, let me help you sit up.”
The paramedic said, “No need. I was glad to help. You folks ought to try swimming away from the channel, down in that direction. You’ll live longer.”
“Thank you. We will.”
The man walked away from them and back to his fishing lines, which were planted in the hard-packed wet sand.
“You scared the hell out of us, Olivia!” Roni said, and burst into tears.
“What are you crying about?” Olivia’s voice was raspy and hoarse. “I’m the one who almost drowned.” She coughed a few more times and then took a deep breath.
“Oh, my darling girl!” Nick knelt in the sand and put his arms around her. “If I had lost you, I don’t know, I couldn’t have lived.”
“Yeah, and I’d spend the rest of my life making tuna sandwiches at Smilers Delicatessen on Third Avenue!”
This was a very dramatic statement from Nick and a typical piece of sass from Roni, but even in her present mental state, returning to life from an actual near death experience, Olivia rolled her eyes.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Nick. Yes, you would. You’d live. I’m just fine,” Olivia said adding, “Help me stand up, please. And, Roni? You can’t work at Smilers. You’re Italian American.” Nick pulled her to a standing position and she ran her hand through her hair, which at this point resembled dreadlocks. “I must look like holy hell.”
Nick handed Olivia his shirt and she wiped her face with it.
“Actually, for a girl saved by dolphins, you look pretty good!” Roni said.
“What do you mean?” Olivia said.
“Look!” Roni said.
Olivia turned to face the ocean and the area where Roni pointed. A pod of bottlenose dolphins, probably eight or ten of them, were rising up and diving back under the sea in their traditional arcs, but they seemed to be unusually close to shore. And maybe it was their collective imagination, but Nick, Roni, and even Olivia would’ve sworn in a court of law that the dolphins were doing everything they could to capture their attention. Olivia stepped closer to the edge of the water and waved at them. One of them breached into midair, looked at her, and made a repetitive thrilling chirp. Then he swam backward on his tail, staring at her.
“That dolphin is looking straight at me. Am I supposed to answer this fellow?” Olivia said.
“I would. He might be the very one who saved you.” Nick called out and waved to the dolphin. “Thank you! Thank you very much!”
“It’s just plain bad manners not to say thank you to the dolphin,” Roni said. “Wait, I can’t believe I just said that.”
“Sweet Baby Jesus, I’m here for twenty-four hours and I’m talking to the animals!”
“Dr. Dolittle, I presume?” Roni said, and giggled. “Unbelievable.”
“Signs and wonders, sweetheart,” Nick said. “What did I tell you?”
Olivia looked at Nick. He wasn’t kidding. Then she looked back out to where the dolphins were still horsing around, seemingly waiting for some recognition from her. It was surreal, but maybe there was some actual bona fide magic in the Lowcountry. And something had brought her close to the shore. That part was absolutely true. Strange but true. She admitted that much to herself.
“You can’t make this stuff up,” Nick said.
“Thank you!” she called out, waving her arms, and thought, Boy, am I glad they weren’t sharks. “Thank you!”
There was a lot of chirping and calling from the dolphins. Then they dove under the waves and swam out of sight.
Nick, Roni, and Olivia stood at the edge of the tide’s high-water mark for what seemed like a really long time. Each of them was lost in thought, trying to rationally process what had just happened. They looked around for the fisherman. He was nowhere to be seen.
“That fisherman saved my life too!” Olivia said.
“You and about a billion other Christians,” Nick said.
“Oh, come on, Nick! You don’t really believe . . .”
“Do you?” Roni said.
“I’ve told you this so many times,” he said solemnly. “This island and the whole Lowcountry is a place unto itself.”
“Oh, come on, Nick,” Roni said. “What in the world are you talking about?”
“Only that you’ll notice things that happen here that are otherwise completely inexplicable. Even irrational. Now, maybe these phenomena happen everywhere, and maybe you just notice them here. I don’t know.”
“You mean like that invisible hand that pulls you back when you’re about to step off a curb and get hit by a bus?” Roni said. “I’ve heard stories like that.”
“Exactly! It’s not your time to go,” Nick said to Olivia and pointed at Roni. “That’s exactly what I mean.”
“I don’t even know what to say except that I am one grateful woman to be alive.”
“Do you really feel all right?” Roni asked.
“Perfectly fine, except for the part where I had an actual conversation with a dolphin, which I did. And the other part where I bodysurfed almost to the beach on the back of one. And, by the way, there’s a lot of power in their snouts. I’ll bet I’m going to bruise like a peach from where I got pushed along.”
“We can ice the spots. My mother put ice on everything. And in everything. Especially vodka.”
“Hmmm. Speaking of adult beverages,” Nick said, “I think a good Cab and a thick steak might help us put this situation in perspective. Anyone care to go to dinner? Let’s go somewhere special.”
“I agree. It’s not every day that . . . well, you know,” Roni said.
“My hair may never be the same,” Olivia said and added, “And I won’t either. Who would believe this?”
“I’m going to google dolphin rescues,” Roni said.
They went back up to the house, had their showers, and started getting dressed. She studied her body in front of the full-length mirror. There were deep red blotches on her hips and ribs but no bruises so far. Olivia slipped on a long linen sundress and sandals and simply braided her long wet hair.
“I’ll find a salon tomorrow,” she said to Nick. “I’m not going to let something insignificant like my hair stand in the way of our cocktail hour. It takes forever to dry it, as you know.”
Truly, Olivia did have enough hair for two women.
“You look beautiful,” Nick said.
“Thanks, sweetheart. And you smell delicious. Let’s find Roni and get out of here.”
Soon they were in Olivia and Nick’s rental car and headed to Halls Chophouse downtown. They put Roni’s luggage in the back.
“So, you can use this while you’re here,” Olivia said. “It’s
fun to drive.”
“Thanks!” Roni said.
“We can Uber home,” Nick said. “Then we don’t have to take two cars.”
“Uber is a verb now,” Roni said, and smiled.
“And then we can have two martinis,” Olivia said. “I think we earned them.”
“You can have mine,” Roni said. “Two martinis would send me to Betty Ford.”
“I always forget you’re a cheap date,” Olivia said.
“You don’t drink at all?” Nick said. Nick was suspicious of total sobriety.
“My mother drank enough for both of us. Maybe I’ll sip on a glass of champagne.”
“You mean, you have no indulgences?” Nick said.
“Ice cream and gelato,” Roni said.
“Well, thank goodness! I feel much better,” Nick said. “There’s a parking spot!”
Parking was at a premium downtown because there were roughly ten times more people than there were places to leave your car. Once inside the restaurant, they were led to a table upstairs.
“I’d like to see the wine list,” Nick said.
They ordered vodka martinis and champagne and were perusing the ten-pound leather menu.
“Very good, sir,” the waiter said. He stepped away and returned with a ten-pound wine list.
“Good thing I got some cardio this afternoon,” Nick mumbled, hoisting the leather-bound list to a level where he could read it.
Of course, after the drama of the day, no one could make a decision about what to order until a sizzling bone-in rib eye steak with onion rings passed their table.
“That’s what I’m having,” Olivia said, and her eyes grew large. “I know it’s a mortal sin on a plate, but it smells so darn good.”
“Yes, it does,” Nick said. “I’ll have the same thing.”
“I don’t want to be odd person out, so I’ll have the same thing too.”
The waiter took their orders and Nick chose a 2009 Beringer Vineyards Cabernet Sauvignon to drink with their meals and asked for another glass of champagne for Roni.
Scarcely three minutes passed until the waiter returned with their cocktails while they recounted the afternoon.
“Cheers!” Nick said. “To our health!”