“Why would you have had to change?”
Ben grinned. “That’s one reason I love you, Sissy. You don’t look at me as if I’m a work in progress. You don’t see me as someone with the potential to be what you want.”
“Women have said that to you? I don’t get it.”
Ben heard Patches meow and he went to get the kitten before it tried to jump off the bed. When he returned to the kitchen after setting Patches near his blanket and litter box, he resumed his seat.
“That’s one of the reasons I love you,” Sissy told him. “You care about my kitten. Not every man would.”
Ben couldn’t help but smile. “You nailed it. But some women don’t like that about me. Well, they’d be glad if I liked their cats, but my world revolves around other animals, too, and all the filth that comes with them. I briefly dated one gal who trained her cat to use the toilet. A litter box was too gross for her. As soon as I learned that, I walked. My ranch is one huge litter box.”
“Your ranch is gorgeous. And so are all your animals. The horses are so beautiful.”
Ben held up a finger. “That’s another reason I love you. You didn’t turn up your nose at all the things that define who I am. When I saw how much you care—about your chickens, Finnegan, and even old Christopher—I knew you had a huge heart. When I saw how hard you worked, putting in long hours and rarely taking time off, I knew you were someone who might get who I am. That you’d understand when I couldn’t be with you because I was babysitting a mare about to foal. That you’d get it when I got home covered in mud, hay, or whatever else. You have an extraordinary work ethic. Ranching is sometimes grueling and consuming, but I think you’d be okay with its demand on my time.” Ben ran a hand through his hair. “You didn’t gag when you got horseshit all over your shoes. You weren’t afraid to pet my orneriest cow. All very selfish reasons, when I look at them. But maybe all of us fall in love for selfish reasons. Real love and commitment is for life. How can you love or make a commitment to someone who doesn’t like who you are?”
Sissy nodded. “I don’t think anyone should try to change who they are in order to make a relationship work. It’d be a relationship built on lies. We can pretend that we’ve changed, but eventually who we really are will come out. It’s foolishness. It isn’t selfish of you to want someone who likes you as you are. It’s honest and smart.”
He couldn’t help but grin. “With you, I don’t have to pretend.”
“Because I like you as you are.”
“I’ll never wear chinos and loafers. If it’s a casual-dressy affair, I’ll throw a Western sports coat over my jeans and shirt. If it’s a dress-up affair, I’ll show up in a Western-cut suit with a matching Stetson.”
“And you’ll look fabulous. The other men in regular suits will pale in comparison.”
“Well, thank you.”
He got up to serve them each some breakfast. He set the plates on the table and fetched flatware. Then he poured some coffee and sat across from her again. “I can’t explain every reason I fell for you. But I think we’re perfect for each other, that we can blend together as individuals and be life partners.”
“Is there anything about me you’d like to change?” she asked.
“Not a single thing,” he assured her. “If you changed, you wouldn’t be Sissy.”
“Our professions are worlds apart,” she pointed out. “I think your ranch is wonderful, but I love my café too much to ever be a partner who works at your side. I wouldn’t mind helping you on my days off, though.”
Ben smiled. “If you ever hire help so you can take days off.”
“Oh, I’m going to. I’m stretched too thin and getting burned out. I really want to remodel, but if I work so hard to make it happen that I lose my love of cooking and waiting on my customers, what’s the point?”
“That’s why I hired Brett and why I’m thinking about hiring another helper. I love ranching. I love the smells. I love working with the animals and feeding them and tending to them if they’re hurt. But it’s hard work. And when I was doing it all alone, I found myself resenting that I had to go feed sometimes. Or grumbling because I had to go out in the rain. It was a warning sign that I needed some time off to relax and enjoy my life, and if I didn’t make it happen, I might lose my love for ranching. Then where would I be? I definitely wouldn’t be me.” Ben swallowed a piece of bacon. “As for you working at my side, I don’t expect that or even want you to. Helping me sometimes, sure. And in the reverse, I really enjoy helping you in the café. And for me, ending a long day at your café over a fabulous meal is perfect. I can continue to habitually eat out.”
Sissy laughed and took a bite of potatoes. “Hmm, delicious.” After swallowing, she added, “I enjoy it when you help me in the kitchen.”
An uncomfortable silence electrified the air between them. Ben finally asked, “So, have I satisfactorily explained why I love you?”
She dimpled her cheek at him. “For purely selfish reasons. And that works for me. You’re saying that I suit you just as I am, and that’s pretty awesome.”
“I forgot to add that you turned me on the first time I ever saw you,” Ben told her. “And you still do. Another purely selfish reason, I guess. But my dad would say, ‘If you don’t feel physical attraction, son, run like hell.’”
Sissy got a sip of coffee down the wrong pipe and coughed into her napkin. When she caught her breath, she said, “He sounds like a very wise man.”
“He is. I think you’ll like him.”
Sissy pushed back her plate and sighed. “I think I need to elevate my injury. I can feel my leg swelling.”
Ben shot up from his chair. “Shit. I forgot. The doctor said absolutely no sitting with your feet down.”
“It’s okay, Ben.” She got up and balanced on one foot as she maneuvered the crutches under her arms. “But I think you’d better hang close while I go to the sofa. I’m feeling a little wobbly.”
Ben wanted to pick her up and carry her there. But he’d meant it when he told her that he didn’t want her to change. As long as she could do it herself, he had to let her. Moments later, she lay on the couch with her leg elevated on pillows. Patches jumped up to snuggle under her chin. Ben returned to the kitchen to clean up the breakfast mess, wolfing down another plate of food as he worked.
“You haven’t asked me why I love you so much!” Sissy called out.
Ben started the dishwasher and went to sit on the coffee table. “Okay, let me hear it.”
She grinned and said, “It won’t take long. You’re patient with me. You never push me to do something before I’m ready. You understand me when I don’t understand myself.” Her lashes fluttered closed. “You never give up on me.”
Watching her drift to sleep, Ben thought, And I never will.
Believing that Sissy was totally out of it, Ben got a startle when she suddenly opened her eyes and said, “Just so you know, Ben, I won’t be going into this with any expectations. No strings. I just want to be with you.”
Ben didn’t like the sound of that. No strings? He’d finally found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and she wanted sex without commitment. He decided to let that ride for the moment. Over time, if he proved to her how much he loved her, she’d change her mind about that.
Chapter Eighteen
Sissy awakened from her nap to hear Ben speaking on his cell phone. A few words snagged her attention and her eyes popped open. Levering up on an elbow, she leaned forward to hear. From his side of the conversation, she deduced that he was talking to his mother and asking her to come stay with Sissy while he walked up the street to Nuts and Bolts for some fine mesh steel wool to plug all the holes that Snickers used to enter the building.
The moment Sissy felt sure he was off the phone, she said, “Ben, your mother doesn’t have to come here to babysit me. She doesn’t even know me
. I’ll behave. I promise. Don’t bother her, please.”
Ben gave an emphatic shake of his head. Sissy gulped. Why did he have to look so damned sexy all the time when he wasn’t even trying? He leveled his gaze at her in that “dead serious” way of his. “Well, ma’am, it’s like this. You won’t be on the pain reliever forever. Probably only a few more days. But until you’re off it, I’d rather follow the doctor’s orders. The last thing you need is to fall while you’re trying to reach the bathroom.”
Sissy couldn’t argue the point. She needed to heal with all possible speed. “You’re right,” she conceded. “But what on earth will your mom and I find to talk about while you’re gone? I’ve never met her.”
Ben laughed. “Trust me. You’ll find plenty to chat about . . . if you can get a word in edgewise. My mom is a talker. One thing you should mention to her is all the trouble Drake Mullin is having. If he doesn’t start getting some business, he’ll go under.”
* * *
Kate called in just under thirty minutes to let Ben know she was at the front door. As Ben hurried down the steep stairs, he vowed again to rip them out and start from scratch when Sissy renovated.
When he opened the door, his mother beamed a smile at him. She looked like a model in a Western fashion catalog for older women. She wore a wine-colored sweater over a plaid Western shirt with touches of burgundy in the pattern. Her jeans were tucked into a pair of chestnut Uggs, the boots folded over at the top to showcase the fur lining. Ben was surprised. His mom usually wore riding boots.
“Hey, gorgeous.” Ben scooped her up in his arms and executed a half turn. “New boots?”
“No teasing me!” she warned as he released her. “Your father hates them. He took one look and said, ‘What the hell is on your feet?’”
Ben drew her inside and closed the door. While locking it, he said, “They look great to me, perfect for snow.”
“And great traction on ice. I fell a few winters ago, and my hip bothered me for weeks.”
Ben dimly remembered his mother hobbling around. “I didn’t know you fell. I thought it was arthritis flaring up.”
“Bite your tongue. I refuse to have arthritis yet. That’s for old people.”
Grinning, Ben led the way upstairs to the landing. “Sissy’s a little worried that you two will have nothing to talk about.”
Kate giggled. “Well, that just goes to show she hasn’t gotten to know me yet.”
Ben was prepared to hang around until Sissy and Kate warmed up to each other, but within three minutes, Kate had Sissy chattering like a squirrel that had just found a cache of nuts. He excused himself to visit the hardware store, got two bags of steel wool, and used Sissy’s flashlight to search for holes when he got back to the Cauldron. He found far more than he expected.
As he rounded the wall that divided the kitchen from the café, he stopped in his tracks. Snickers sat on his haunches near the cupboards. The rat had a small, silver measuring spoon, which he held gingerly in his tiny paws.
Ben couldn’t help but smile. “You must be getting used to me. You didn’t bother to hide.”
Snickers squeaked at him in reply. Ben knew the rat would quickly depart for his nest with his new prize, and Snickers didn’t disappoint him. Whirling around, the rodent nosed open the right cupboard door beneath the sink and vanished. Ben hurried to the backyard, hoping to see where Snickers exited the building.
The rat emerged from a crawl space ventilation hole in the ancient foundation. Making a mental note to cover it with new wire and check all the other openings, Ben kept his gaze fixed on Snickers. This might be his only chance to follow the rodent back to his nest.
The rat ran in a straight line for the shed in Marilyn Fears’s backyard. Ben almost groaned. He opened the door and shone the flashlight inside. In the far left corner, he saw the nest—an impressive structure made of sticks and dry grass—and several rats scurrying to hide.
Disheartened, Ben stared at the back side of Marilyn’s building. She’d have to be told and she would have to call pest control. That would break Sissy’s heart. But this no longer involved only Sissy. Marilyn’s building was probably being invaded.
Ben circled around to Marilyn’s storefront. When he walked in, she smiled and treated him to a flash of her merry blue eyes. “How is our Sissy doing?”
“Pretty well, considering. Mom is sitting with her while I do some chores.”
“If need be, I can sit with Sissy in the evenings.” Marilyn’s gaze dropped to the two bags of steel wool tucked under Ben’s arm. “You look like a man on a mission.”
Condensing the story, Ben told Marilyn about Sissy’s love affair with a pack rat and that Ben had just found the nest in Marilyn’s shed. “I understand what you have to do,” he told her. “It’ll break Sissy’s heart, but eventually she’ll get over it.”
Marilyn’s gaze shot back to the bags of wool. “You’re plugging all the holes in her building, I see. Would you mind taking care of mine as well?”
Ben mentally circled that. “If you call pest control, you really won’t need your building to be ratproofed.”
“Of course I will. Pack rats are a fact of life. So are other rodents. They can enter buildings if the owners don’t take necessary precautions. I’ve been rather lazy about that.”
“But their nest is in your garden shed.”
“What nest?” She flashed another smile. “Nobody told me about any nest. Just warn everyone along this side of the street that pack rats have been seen. Word will travel. If people have any brains, they’ll make sure no rodents can enter their buildings. If they don’t, it’s their problem, not yours.” She shrugged. “I can’t call pest control. Sissy loves that rat, and a pest eradicator won’t care. “
Ben tried his best not to smile. “It’s very generous of you to care so much about Sissy’s feelings, but I’m not sure it’s the wisest decision you could make.”
Marilyn laughed. “I’m getting too old to make wise decisions. Nowadays I live on the edge. Just ratproof my building.”
“Won’t you be afraid to go in your storage shed?”
She laughed again. “I’m a country girl. Besides, when was the last time you heard a news story about a pack rat attack?”
Another smile tugged at the corners of Ben’s mouth. “Now that you mention it, I can’t say I ever have.”
“Exactly.” Marilyn took a sip of bottled water. As she screwed the cap back on, she added, “I might get a little excited if you told me a female cougar with cubs had taken up residence in my shed, but I don’t feel intimidated by anything I could step on—if I had to, that is. Besides, I love Sissy. In August when I got sick, she took care of me. She brought me special breakfasts and made me soups. This is my chance to repay her for her kindness.”
* * *
For the next three hours Ben stuffed wool into every hole he could find in the two buildings. His thoughts kept circling back to the café. He needed to get the place open again, ASAP. Otherwise, Sissy would deplete her savings—which he was positive wasn’t a lot—and have to work forever for the planned remodel. He might not win any chef-of-the-year awards, but maybe he could at least keep her customers coming in.
After warning other shop owners along West Main that pack rats had been seen, Ben returned to the Cauldron. At the top of the stairs, he heard Sissy and his mother talking. Kate was telling stories about Ben as a boy and singing his praises. He knew his mother, wondered what had already been blabbed, and felt his ears grow hot.
Opening the door, Ben asked, “When do you plan to nominate me for sainthood, Mom?”
Kate grimaced. “You aren’t quite that perfect. But you’re close to the mark.”
Sissy, still on the couch elevating her leg, craned her neck to smile at him. In her eyes there was a soft glow he’d never seen, and he wondered if she was euphoric again.
Kate collected her sweater. “I need to get the pot roast in the oven. I made sandwiches before I left, but Jeremiah will be starving by six.” Kate bent to give Sissy a hug, then wrapped her arms around Ben’s waist. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Sissy protested.
“Don’t be silly!” Kate exclaimed. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve enjoyed myself so much.”
After Kate left, Ben sat on the coffee table and dangled the watch he’d retrieved in front of Sissy’s nose. She stared at it for a moment, and then her face broke into a joyous smile. “You found Snickers’s nest!”
Ben told her about Snickers leading him straight to Marilyn’s storage shed. Then he related the conversation he’d had with Marilyn. “She says the nest can remain undisturbed. I warned everyone along the street. It’ll be up to each shopkeeper to protect his building.” With a shrug, Ben added, “Seems fair enough to me. Live and let live.” He suppressed a grin. “That Snickers—he is pretty damned cute.”
Sissy sighed and relaxed against the pillows. “Thank you, Ben. Most guys would rat Snickers out.” She winced. “No pun intended.”
Ben went to wash up. When he returned, Sissy patted the coffee table. “Can we talk for a moment?”
Ben resumed his seat. “Sure. What’s up?”
She fiddled with the blanket that covered her to the waist. Then she nibbled her bottom lip. “I’m just thinking—well, maybe a tie-down strap wouldn’t be so bad.”
Searching her blue eyes, Ben knew it wasn’t only the medication talking for her. She truly was eager to be with him in an intimate way. His gaze dropped to her chest. Against the rose-patterned flannel, her nipples jutted like rivets, one of them making a tiny flower look three-dimensional. A certain part of Ben’s anatomy went rock-hard, and it took all his self-control not to carry her straight to the bedroom.