Ben thought she already had more courage in her little finger than most people did. “Wine for courage,” he agreed. “I can go for that.” He took a large swallow. “I hope you aren’t feeling pressured into this just because the doctor gave you the go-ahead today.”
She shook her head. “You’ve never made me feel pressured. Well, maybe at the beginning I felt a little hemmed in, but it was nothing you did. I was carrying a lot of baggage.” She set her wine on the end table and shifted to get more comfortable. The lacy hem of the camisole inched up. As usual, she wasn’t wearing panties because they wouldn’t fit over her Dumbo cast. Ben wanted her so badly that he nearly strangled on a swallow of mulberry. “I am feeling a little worried about tonight, though.” Her cheeks went rosy again. “I have no protection on hand and couldn’t get any because it was too icy outside for me to try going up the street on crutches. I absolutely could not work up the guts to ask your mother to go into the pharmacy to buy me condoms. Driving was out. In Aunt Mabel’s SUV, there’s a center console, making it impossible to get my right leg out of the way.”
Ben could only smile. “I’ve been thinking about making love to you for days. I knew today might be it, so I came prepared.”
She glanced at the living room window, blackened by night. “The only thing to make tonight more perfect would be if we had a mulberry moon.”
Ben would have treasured an opportunity to make love to her in a silvery wash of moonlight coming through the window. “Aw, but we have a new moon tonight. In a way, that’s even better. A new moon and new beginnings. And any moon can be a mulberry moon if a couple is drinking mulberry wine.”
She took another sip. “You may be right. I’m feeling less nervous now.”
“Me, too. I do have one stipulation before I make love to you, though.”
“A stipulation?” She looked up at him, her eyes filled with questions.
“I need to know, before we take our relationship to that level, that you’ll be my forever lady.”
She gazed up at him for what seemed to him a very long while. Then she shook her head no. “I can’t promise that,” she said. “Sooner or later, my parents will track me down, wanting to borrow money, if for no other reason. You don’t comprehend just how horrible my father is, or how stupid my mother is for staying with him. If you still want this to be a forever thing after you meet them, I may consider saying yes.”
“I don’t care about your parents,” he told her. “Bottom line, you may be linked to them by blood, but in every other way, you’re your own person and separate from them. I meant what I just said. I can’t do the casual sex thing with you. Been there, done that, and I’m finished with it. You’re special to me. Everything about you is special. I love you. I’ve been searching for you all my adult life. If you refuse to make a commitment to me, I know I’ll never find anyone quite like you again. You’re it for me, the one and only woman I’ll ever love.”
“But—”
“No buts,” he said, cutting her off. “You’re precious to me. I want tonight to be the beginning of something beautiful and wonderful between us.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes, and without her saying a word, he believed he’d won the argument. He set his wine goblet on the table, eased off the sofa, and went down on one knee beside her. He withdrew a small velvet box from his pants pocket. Holding it on his palm, he said, “This is one of the reasons I was so nervous earlier.” He opened the box. The diamond ring glistened in the overhead light. “Will you marry me, Sissy?”
She looked at it, even stretched a finger toward it, and he knew she was tempted. But then she pulled her hand back and her expression changed.
“But, Ben, aside from the fact that my parents are crazy, I know absolutely nothing about my relatives. I’ve never met my grandparents. I must have aunts and uncles and cousins somewhere, but I know nothing about them. What if they’re all nuts?”
Ben studied her face, memorizing every sweet line and angle of her features. “You aren’t. That’s all I care about. You, Sissy. Only about you.”
“What if I’m the only sane one of the bunch?” she asked, her voice trembling. “What if we have a child and it’s mentally off like my father?”
“We won’t.” Ben had never felt more certain of anything. “Children’s characters are formed mostly by their parents. Studies have proven that. We’ll raise our kids in a sane and loving environment, and they’ll be products of what they’re taught from the moment they’re born.”
“I wasn’t raised in a sane environment.”
“No. But you rose above it. As soon as you could, you left all the insanity behind you and began creating a normal life. You defied all the statistics. You’re atypical, which is a remarkable thing. You’re nothing like your parents. You’re an individual and beautifully unique. And out of all the women I’ve ever met, you’re the only one I’ve ever loved. Are you going to break my heart and say no?”
“I—don’t know.” Tears slipped over her lower lashes to create silvery trails on her cheeks. They yanked his heart out. He knew she wanted to say yes. He also knew this was a time to shut up and let her make her own decision without any more pressure. She looked again at the ring box, bit her lower up, and swung her gaze up to meet his. For nearly a minute neither of them moved.
Then a tentative smile lifted the corners of her mouth, and her eyes began to sparkle with something far deeper than tears. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, yes, yes. Of course I’ll marry you. For me, you’re a dream come true.”
Ben tugged the ring out of the box, grasped her left hand, and slipped the gold band onto her finger. Sissy stared down at it. “It’s so beautiful, the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. How did you know my size?”
“It’s not as beautiful as you are.” Ben took her right hand in his and pulled the mood ring off her finger. “I slipped this off while you were sleeping one morning, drove to Creative Jewelry Designs, and got it sized. I slipped it on your finger again when I got back. You can keep the mood ring if you like, but you don’t need to wear it anymore as a reminder of all the things you never want in your life again. You’re not like your mother, and as long as I have breath left in my body, your father will never lay a hand on you again.” He tucked the mood ring into the velvet box and closed the lid. “Tonight we’re both saying good-bye to the past and hello to new beginnings.”
Chapter Twenty
Ben carried Sissy toward the bedroom, convinced that he was now on familiar ground and wouldn’t do anything else stupid. His only worry was that the penetration might hurt her. He’d never been with a virgin, so he had no idea how bad it might be for her. Holding her in his arms felt fabulous, though.
Then he forgot to turn sideways to walk through the door and whacked her cast against the doorframe. It rattled him so much he nearly dropped her. “Damn it. I’m sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
“No.” She tightened her arms around his neck. “Honest. It didn’t hurt at all.”
Ben turned sideways and inched through the opening, making sure this time that her cast connected with nothing. When he reached the bed, he laid her down as carefully as he could. Then he straightened and stripped off his shirt. The way Sissy stared at his bare chest made him feel like a Snickers bar she wanted to devour. He toed off one boot, then the other. “Are you still nervous about the pain?” he asked. “We don’t have to go all the way tonight.”
“A little nervous,” she confessed. “But if you don’t make actual love to me, I’ll be very disappointed.” She touched his navel and trailed her forefinger down the inverted triangle of hair beneath it until she encountered his belt buckle. “Remember the day you worked outside without a shirt, and I came out? You were so handsome that I nearly fainted. I’ve wanted to be with you, really with you, ever since.”
Ben loosened his buckle and unzipped his Wranglers. As the pants puddled around his
ankles, he started jerking off his socks. Sissy opened her arms, beckoning to him. He sank onto the bed beside her and bent to kiss her. From that second on, he totally forgot about possibly hurting her. His whole being was focused on the woman who was offering him the most beautiful gift he’d ever receive. Her skin tasted as if it had been airbrushed with honey. Her mouth intoxicated him with the faint flavor of mulberry wine. The slight trembling of her body when he touched her was a telltale sign that she wanted him as badly as he did her, and he yearned to linger over her and give her so much pleasure that she would remember this night for the rest of her life. He just wasn’t sure how long he would be able to wait.
* * *
Sissy felt as if she were floating on lightning-streaked clouds. Ben’s mouth on her skin felt like warm, wet silk. When he drew on her nipples, the pleasurable sensations pulsed in ribbons to her lower abdomen and filled her with urgent need. Ben. His name became a song inside her head that increased in tempo as her desire mounted.
She couldn’t easily move with the cast anchoring her to the mattress. But she arched to wrap her arms and one leg around him, to press herself so firmly against him that they became one. He kissed her and lightly teased her nerve endings with the tip of his tongue. Just below her ear, he found a spot that made her breath quicken with every stroke. Then he savored the bend of her arm, tasting and suckling on her skin as if she were, as she’d once dreamed of him being, an ice-cream cone.
And she felt as if she were about to melt. When she could bear it no longer, she said his name, and he shifted to lie beside her and trail his palm down her belly. She jerked when he ran a fingertip inside the aching cleft between her legs.
“Ben? Tonight’s the real deal.”
“Shhh,” he murmured. “Trust me. I just need to get you ready.”
Sissy trusted him as she had never trusted anyone. He found his target and gently teased her there until her body began to spasm with his every touch. Then sensation exploded through her, so intense that the world seemed to go black even as starbursts of brightness danced before her eyes.
Long after Ben withdrew his hand, her muscles continued to quiver. He kissed her neck and whispered that he loved her, gently bringing her back down to reality and him. She felt him shift his weight and heard a foil wrapper being opened. Then, after shifting the pillows that supported her cast, he moved between her thighs. In the dim light coming from the living room, she could see the defined musculature of his chest and abdomen. Tendons bunched in his shoulders as he pressed his fists into the mattress to support his weight.
The next instant, he thrust forward and impaled her. A sharp pain lanced through her, and she gasped at the shock of it.
“I’m sorry,” he told her, his voice suddenly deep and gravelly. “But I got it over with fast, and it shouldn’t hurt now.”
He was right. Sissy felt only a stinging sensation deep inside where his hard shaft stretched her inner flesh and muscles to accommodate him. Then he withdrew and pushed forward again, wiping everything from her mind but the incredible feeling of having him inside of her. Pulsing, aching need filled her again. He quickened his rhythm, and she instinctively lifted her hips as best she could to meet his thrusts, dimly aware that she was digging the heel of her cast into the pillows to move. Now she understood why the doctor had refused to let her engage in this activity earlier in her recovery.
Someone shrieked. She suspected that she’d made the sound, but as the waves of mind-numbing pleasure crashed through her, she didn’t care. Her wish had been granted.
They were one. Maybe only for this short period of time, but they were one, and she would never forget how it felt.
Afterward Ben maneuvered his way around her cast and managed to hold her in his arms. She nestled her head in the hollow of his shoulder, convinced that the indentation had been carved into his hard body just for her. He ran a hand lightly over her back, telling her without words how much he loved her. Sissy fell asleep wishing that all those fabulous feelings she had experienced could have lasted forever, but she consoled herself with the thought that being held close in his arms was almost as wonderful.
* * *
Ben woke around three in the morning with an erection. He saw no reason to waste it and began kissing Sissy, gently pulling her up from the depths of sleep.
“Hi,” she murmured against his chest. He felt her lips curl in a smile. “Is it time to get up?”
“No, not yet. We have a whole hour and a half to play before I have to get ready for work.”
She giggled. Then she reached up to run her fingers through his hair, a gesture that he interpreted as an invitation. He dipped his head to possess her mouth with his. Then he began stroking her body. This second time was, for him, even better than the first, because no surprises awaited her this time, and he didn’t have to worry about hurting her. He slipped on protection. Then he returned his attention to her.
He loved the way she responded to his touch, holding nothing back. He made love to her with a slow hand and lingering kisses until he felt her body start to quiver with need. Then he let go himself, bringing her to climax with his mouth. She cried out as the orgasmic pleasure snapped her slender body taut.
Ben waited until she lay lax on the bed, and then he pushed his throbbing erection deep into her feminine warmth and wetness. She revived quickly and worked her hips to meet his thrusts.
Giving her pleasure and receiving the same in return was one of the most incredible experiences of Ben’s life.
* * *
Over the next few days, Ben and Sissy experienced the joy of being newly in love. Ben taught her the fine art of lovemaking. Sissy, without realizing it, taught Ben how incredibly beautiful sex could be when a man was with a woman he loved.
When Sissy got a walking cast, she began helping Ben in the kitchen. He wouldn’t allow her to stay on her feet too long and insisted that she elevate her leg frequently. But Sissy was so pleased to be back in her kitchen, even part-time, that she didn’t mind the restrictions, especially when she had the late evenings with Ben to anticipate. He loved her, and she loved him. It seemed like a miracle to her. How could she be this lucky?
* * *
One afternoon Sissy’s cell phone rang. During business hours, she got lots of calls, so she answered the same way she always did, saying, “Hello, this is Sissy at the Cauldron. How may I help you?”
Thumping her way toward the kitchen, Sissy stopped dead when a woman replied, “This is your mother, Sissy.”
A dozen questions raced through Sissy’s mind. The one she asked was, “How did you find me?”
“I hired a detective. I want to talk with you. To explain things. I’ve come to Mystic Creek. Right next door to your café, actually, in the Mexican restaurant. Will you please walk over and meet with me?”
“For what reason? If you need money, I’m a dead end.”
“I’m not here for money. I’m here to try to mend my relationship with my daughter. I won’t take much of your time. Please, Sissy?”
“Is that asshole you call your husband with you?”
“No, and he isn’t my husband now. I left him four years ago. I’ve gone to counseling and straightened out my life. I went back to Homesville, the town where I grew up. I’m working there. I’m attending school. I’ve got my head on straight. All I want, all I need, is a chance to tell you how sorry I am for being such a horrible mother.”
“Well, you just told me. I see no reason to meet with you so you can say it again.”
“Please, Sissy. Think about it. Give me a chance. I’ve driven a long way. I’ll wait here for an hour.”
“I’ll think about it.” Sissy ended the call and went into the kitchen where Ben worked. “My mother just called. She wants me to meet with her. She wants to tell me she’s sorry for everything. She’s waiting nearby.”
Ben stiffened. Then he carefully laid
the chopping knife on the cutting board. “You owe her absolutely nothing. Not even a moment of your time. And what if your father is hanging around outside?”
“She says she left him four years ago.”
“And you believe her?”
Sissy hugged her waist. “I don’t know. I’m so stunned she called me, I can barely think.” She dragged in a shaky breath. “But I think it may do me good to see her. Maybe I’ll get some closure, if nothing else.”
Ben nodded. “It’s your decision to make. I think it’s a mistake, but I won’t try to convince you not to go.” He stepped to the pass-through and leaned out to look at the street windows. “My worry is that she lied about leaving your dad.”
“José will be there,” Sissy replied. “If my father walks in, he’ll intervene and call the cops.”
Stiffening her shoulders, Sissy went to the storage area to grab a jacket. Then, without looking at Ben, she made her way to the front door. She paused on her way out. “Wish me well?”
He winked at her. “Always. One word of advice, though. She wants to purge her soul, I’m betting. But don’t let her do all the talking. Tell her how you feel. Get it off your chest.”
In case it was icy, Sissy was cautious as she stepped out onto the sidewalk. She was only paces away from the front door. She made her way to the Straw Hat, paused to take a bracing breath, and walked in.
She’d known seeing her mother again wouldn’t be easy, but when she saw her sitting in a booth facing the entrance, Sissy froze, feeling as if a hard fist had just connected with her solar plexus. Tears stung her eyes. Part of her wanted to hobble into the dining area at her top walking-cast speed to give Doreen a hug, but then she recalled all the times when her mother had failed her as a parent.