He put his hand on my shoulder. "That's the spirit. Are you ready, Ice-Ice Baby?" When he grinned like a total goof, I was kind of glad to see that not everything had changed; Scrum was still scrum…happy-go-lucky and naïve as hell.
I shook my head. "Okay, that's not going to work. Drop the Ice-Ice Baby. Let's just stick with Jayne for now." I rubbed my upper arms as I looked to my left at the door. "What exactly am I getting ready for?"
"The audiences."
I went back to staring at Scrum. He was making no sense.
"I guess you don't really know about the audiences yet, do you?" He looked decidedly uncomfortable to be delivering this choice bit of news to me.
I shook my head, waiting for the explanation. The chill that had settled over me dissipated and was slowly replaced by the burn of annoyance. I sensed that the Council had made some sort of major decision that was going to determine how I was going to have to live my life, and I definitely wasn't a fan of dictatorships.
"Oh, okay…,"—Scrum rubbed his hands together nervously—"well…uhhh…after you disappeared into your elements, there was a lot of stuff that happened and a lot of questions that nobody knew the answers to. Because, you know, we weren't there for a lot of it—you were on your own, and we were with Ish, and all the other fae were just living their normal lives or waiting to hear from one of us. We knew you would have the answers to our questions, though, and that if we could get you back, it would all be okay because you would tell us what happened. Sooo…yeah. Basically, everyone wanted to be sure to talk to you and to tell you their part of the story as soon as possible, so you or the gray elves could put all the pieces of the puzzle together and figure out where to go from here."
"Okaaaay…I'm understanding you so far." It wasn't his words that were making me suspicious; it was his body language. He was definitely uncomfortable being the bearer of this news, and so far it didn't sound so bad.
His smile wasn't really a smile; it was more a grimace…or a sign of extreme intestinal distress. "And since Ben isn't coming back, we decided to turn his room into your audience chamber, since it's already connected to your personal space and all. Everyone just figured it would be easier for you."
"What do you mean 'Ben's not coming back'?" My heart was hurting just hearing those words.
"He isn't." Scrum shrugged like that was all there was to it.
"Says who?" My ears were burning. Whether it was from anger or disappointment in myself was anyone's guess.
"He did. And so did all the witches."
I closed my eyes and breathed in and out a few times to try and cool my jets. There was no point in getting mad at Scrum for something that was totally not his fault. "Are these the same witches that came from all over the world to help find me?"
He didn't answer out loud so I opened my eyes. He was nodding.
"Sounds like it was pretty epic." I couldn't even imagine what that must have entailed logistically…getting in touch with all those fae, having a conversation where they didn't spend a year and a day arguing, and then coming up with a solution that actually worked? Just the idea of it exhausted me and made me want to fall into a six-month-long nap.
His expression changed. He almost got a smile working. "It was epic. It totally was. You should have been there to see…" His almost-smile slipped away and he was back to looking uncomfortable. "Sorry. I probably shouldn't have said that. That wasn't very sensitive."
I rested my hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, man." I patted him a few times before letting my arm drop. "I'm beyond having any form of self pride, believe me. Nothing can offend me anymore."
"But you should be really proud. You fixed everything." He paused. "Well, almost everything. You did a really good job." His eyes drifted over to the door.
"Almost. In other words, Ben had to die in order for all of it to work out, but other than that we're cool."
"He's not dead." Scrum stared at me, suddenly very serious. "You know that none of us are ever really gone, right?"
"It sure feels like Ben is gone to me." I fought tears over that. When was alive, he'd been at the top of my list of fae to avoid at all costs, but now I wished he were there being a pain in my ass, hauling his big old head all over the compound and gloating over his superior knowledge.
"He's gone from the Here and Now, but he's not gone from everywhere." Scrum sounded so sure of himself.
"Really? Where is he, then? Is he in the Overworld doing his job with Heryon?"
Scrum shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I'm not sure. I guess…everyone was hoping you would know the answer to that question."
I rolled my eyes and sighed. "And so it begins."
"What do you mean?"
I threw my arms up, frustrated as hell. "Everyone is expecting me to have all the answers, but I don't have any! I honestly don't know what the hell is going on with anyone or anything!"
Scrum put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around, pressing the middle of my back to gently propel me toward the door. "I'm pretty sure it's not as bad as you think it is. Or maybe it is. But there's no way to know for sure unless you face it, so let's go."
I looked over my shoulder at him as he stood waiting resolutely behind me. "When did you get so bossy?"
He shrugged. "I'm not bossy. I just know it has to be done, and I know we have to do it. And I know you want to do it too, even though you're pretending that you don't."
I took two steps toward the door, getting closer and closer to the voices that seemed to be getting louder and not just because of my proximity. "Is Spike in there? What about Tony? I need to talk to them first."
"Everyone who can be in there is in there," Scrum said.
His evasive answer filled me with dread. But it didn't stop me from pushing the door open, because I needed to find the answers to my questions on my own, and there was no point in delaying the inevitable any longer. It was time for me to put the pieces of this puzzle together and figure out what I had to do to stop the world from being taken over by pure evil.
And even though only a split second passed between the moment I put my hand on that door and when it opened up for me to see what waited inside, I came up with a plan, and I was sure as hell going to stick to it, too. Every time other fae got involved in my problems, they got hurt—or they disappeared from the face of the earth entirely. From now on, I was going to be more in control of my life and what happened in it. I was going to think things through before acting on them. And I was going to be extra careful about who I involved in my plans, so that when the shit hit the fan, the damages were contained.
The life of an elemental, as it turns out, can be pretty damn dangerous. And I loved my fae family too much to put them in life-or-death situations any longer. I would have these so-called audiences with the fae who wanted to speak to me, because it was the respectful thing to do. I would even listen to the Council and the gray elves to hear what they thought was best. But when it all came down to it, there were only a few people who I trusted—people who I knew weren't playing games behind the scenes and working their own private angles for their own purposes—and they were going to be the ones guiding me in making my decisions. And these were the fae I was going to talk to first…my original crew: Tony, Spike, Tim, Finn, Sam, Jared, Scrum, and maybe even Becky too. Because even though Becky used to be a chicken shit who disappeared every time things got scary, she had hung in there as tough as anyone else on her dragon and fought those demons in the Overworld, not once disappearing or hiding from the threat. And on top of that, she was really good about calling me out on my bullshit. She and Sam would be the ones I could count on to tell me when I was out of line. I thought of Long, too. If she was there, I wanted her nearby as well. There was nothing like having an almost pocket-sized dragon at your back to give you confidence.
Scrum's smile slipped a bit. "Now, don't freak out, okay?" He put his hand up on the door, stopping me from pushing it all the way open.
I glar
ed at him. "You do know that's the very best way to get me freaking out to level ten, right?"
His grin was lopsided. "Sorry. But I really felt like I should warn you…" He let me push the door all the way in, and the sound of several voices raised in what definitely sounded like anger blasted me in the face.
CHAPTER THREE
VOICES WERE RAISED in anger, but the moment I stepped through the doorway, they all ceased. It went from a cacophony of words to silence in two seconds. And then suddenly there was a pixie in my face.
"Well, it's about time," Tim said. "I was on the verge of losing control of this crowd."
"How is that even possible? You're Tim." I couldn't help but smile. Seeing my pixie roommate made everything in my life feel a whole lot better. The crowd started murmuring again, talking amongst themselves while glancing in my direction.
"You're right. What was I saying?" He laughed. "They were totally under my control. But now that you're here, things might get a little dicey, so be cool."
"Be cool?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Now, now…don't get feisty on me." Tim flew over to sit on my shoulder. He hung onto my ear since there wasn't any hair left for him to grip. "There's a lot of stuff going down right now, and you need to get ready to not rumble, you know what I mean? No yelling, no kicking, no spitting, no chair throwing, and definitely no biting. Biting would send the wrong message."
"I'm too tired to do any of that, so don't worry." I scanned the crowd of faces staring at me. I skimmed over most of them but identified a few as those belonging to fae I wanted to talk to very soon. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the two I needed to connect with the most. "Where are Spike and Tony?"
"Forget Spike and Tony for now. I suggest you talk to Dardennes and Céline, stat. We've been sitting with the Council for the past several days, and we have a lot to tell you. You have a lot of catching up to do and not a lot of time to do it."
I tried to look beyond the crowd to the garden behind them. "But where are Tony and Spike? I really want to talk to them first. It won't take long, I promise."
"Are you listening to anything I'm saying? We don't have a lot of time. There's a schedule. The gray elves put one together, and the Council has approved it."
"Schedule?" I stopped my search to focus on what Tim was saying. "That sounds a lot like somebody trying to boss me around."
"Let's not call it bossing a person around. Let's call it…guiding with strength and purpose."
"Call it whatever you want," I mumbled. "I'm not sure I'm signing up for it." I stepped farther into the room. Everyone seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I felt silly, not comfortable with addressing the entire group at once. I hadn't even thought of preparing a speech, but I gave it a shot anyway because things were getting awkward quickly. "Uhh…hello, everybody. Glad to be back."
The room was instantly filled with welcoming responses. Everyone seemed genuinely happy to see me, although I did sense some stressed-out expressions on a few of my visitors—mostly the ones worn by Council members.
I continued because everyone seemed to be waiting for me to say something more. "I guess you all want to talk to me, and that's great because I want to talk to you too, but first I'd like to have a shower and then I need to sit down with a few specific fae before I speak to everyone else."
Dardennes stepped forward with his hands held out. I wasn't sure if he wanted to hug me, high-five me, or just shake hands, so I just stood in place. He stopped in front of me and took my right hand in his, placing his palm over my changeling ring. "Jayne. Mother. We are so pleased that you made it back safely."
I smiled stiffly at his formal greeting. What was I supposed to say? I'm glad I made it back too? That white void was super boring? Three cheers for Ben the amazing no-longer-big-headed elemental who sacrificed his life for mine?
"We understand your desire for a shower and an audience with your friends, but I'm not sure you understand the gravity of the situation."
I pulled my hand from his grasp. "Oh, I understand it just fine. I stopped off at Maggie's place before I came here, and she made it crystal clear. But I'm going to do what I want to do from now on, not what everybody else wants me to do, so…yeah. There's that."
Both of his eyebrows lifted until they almost disappeared into his hair. He didn't say anything, though. It could have been because he was stunned speechless; he did kind of have that look about him.
I felt a little guilty over my directness. "I do appreciate everything you've done for me and my friends, Dardennes…Anton. I don't want you to think that I'm ungrateful. But I've learned a few things in my travels, and the first one is that I need to follow my instincts. And right now, my instincts are telling me to get cleaned up and to hear from the people who I started this whole adventure with. I don't mean to offend you or the Council or anybody else, or suggest that you're not as important; I appreciate what you have to say, and I know I can count on you to have the fae's best interests at heart. But I need to talk to my changeling friends. This is just how it has to be for me right now." There was no other way to say it to him and not be rude. My friends grounded me in reality. They made me feel real again. Like Jayne again. All these other fae made me feel like I was supposed to be their one and only savior, and that was too much pressure after all I'd recently been through.
Dardennes actually bowed. I couldn't believe it. My eyeballs must have looked like they were falling out of my head as he bent at the waist and lowered his head practically to his knees.
"As you wish," he said.
As I wish? Is he kidding me? He didn't seem to be. He sounded as serious as I'd ever heard him. He backed up, only straightening once he was a few feet away. He was actually smiling at the end of it.
My first response was to beg him to stop, but then I thought about it for another couple of seconds. I had chosen to speak in a more mature way than I was used to, and he had responded in a way that showed extreme respect back. In front of everyone. He was probably just proving a point…that I had a right to self-determination or whatever. And that was super cool with me. So instead of telling him to cut the crap, I stood a little taller in response, feeling powerful and decisive. Maybe if Dardennes wasn't going to fight me on this, everyone else would go along with it too. I couldn't believe my life was actually feeling like it was going to be easy for once.
A voice came from the back of the room, its tone as cantankerous as ever. "Since when are we letting a changeling call the shots around here?"
I couldn't see him, but I knew very well who it was. So much for living my life on my own terms. I narrowed my eyes in the direction of his voice. "Why don't you come on over here and say that to my face, old man?"
The crowd parted to admit the old fart who'd nearly sent me to my doom—Red. He stopped a sword's length away, squaring off with his hands at his sides. He looked like a wild west gunslinger, only at his hips he had a couple of little sticks he'd found in the woods and not pistols. I wasn't stupid enough to think those twigs were useless or just there for show, though. Red was a witch with enough power and knowledge of badass, dark magic spells to send me back in time to relive my past, and that was no small nightmare. I shuddered inside just thinking about it.
The crowd started to murmur, but I shut them down by holding out my hand. My palm started to feel warm. You could've heard a pixie fart even without a listening spell, it went so quiet. I fixed Red with a penetrating gaze, using my best high school fighter staredown ever. "I have a bone to pick with you, old man. You sent me back into my worst nightmare. You're lucky I even made it out alive. Malena and Torrie were waiting for me, you know." I tilted my head. "Or maybe you did know. Maybe that was part of your plan."
He narrowed his eyes at me. "That wasn't my doing. You sent yourself back there." He paused before adding insult to injury. "Changeling."
He was totally blaming me for his screwup. Typical. "How do you figure that? You're the one who cooked up that nasty-ass skunk brew. I had n
o part in that crap."
"Yes, I concocted the spell, but I gave you specific instructions, didn't I? I told you to think about the place where you wanted to go." He shrugged. "It's not my problem you have a sad and limited imagination."
I opened my mouth to argue, but the memory of those tense moments in his chamber came flooding back. My hand dropped to my side and immediately cooled down. He was right. As I drank the potion he'd given me, I was supposed to be thinking about my friends, Ish and his realm, the dragons, and the troll baby. But visions of my mother and Rick had kept popping up in my head, taking over completely.
"I tried," I said lamely, my shoulders slumping.
He shrugged. "Apparently, you didn't try hard enough."
"Somebody from the outside was messing with your process," said someone from the crowd.
I stood on tiptoe, craning my neck to try and spot my cousin. She was out there somewhere. Either that, or she was speaking through some wormhole connected to another realm. "Sam? Where are you?"
She shouldered her way past some werewolves and stopped next to me, facing Red. "I'm right here." She glanced at him with a frown. "He did what he was supposed to…to a point."
Clearly, her comments did not sit well with him. He looked like he was suddenly suffering some serious intestinal cramps. There might've even been a speck of shame in his eyes, too.
"What do you mean?" I asked, focusing on my cousin, Sam the fated Fate and the toughest witch I knew.
She kept her eyes on the old man. "His spell should've had two parts. He did the first part right. The second part he forgot. Or maybe he didn't know there was a second part." She stared him down, almost like she was daring him to disagree, but he didn't respond.
I turned my attention to the old man, furious, now that I knew I'd been messing around in dark magic with an amateur at the wheel. "What about that second part, huh, Red? Were you aware of it?" I had to know if it had been a mistake on his part or if he'd deliberately jacked me up.