“He’s okay.”
He wanted to devour her, hold her so tight that he simply absorbed her. Even surrounded by danger, his brain fogged with pain, he wanted her with a need that was insane. Not just physically, he realized, but for the first time in his life he needed someone on an emotional level. He needed her so desperately he could feel it running through him like a hot thread.
He lowered his mouth to hers. Pleasure sparked like static. He tasted smoke and softness and subtle heat. The mix of flavors intoxicated him. He knew kissing her in the middle of a raging forest fire wasn’t very smart. But for the first time in his life, Buzz didn’t care. He followed his heart, gave it free rein, let it guide him.
He didn’t expect her to kiss him back—Kelly was no more prone to imbecilic behavior than he was. But when his tongue slipped between her lips, she opened to him, purring in the back of her throat like a cat. He kissed her long and hard until he was drunk on pleasure. Until the raging fire and the pain in his shoulder faded into the distance like a spent storm.
Vaguely, he was aware of her arms around his neck, her mouth clinging to his. Desire flared hotly in his veins, racing through his body with every thunderous beat of his heart.
An instant later, sanity intervened with the snap of dry wood and the splintering sound of a tree falling nearby. Buzz pulled away, keenly aware that he was aroused and wanting, annoyed because she did that to him every time he looked at her and he knew how lousy he was going to feel when she walked away for good.
“This is a damn fine time to do this,” he growled. “But you taste incredibly good.”
Kelly stared at him, caution dawning in her eyes. “So do you,” she whispered. “A little smoky.”
He smiled. “I’m glad you’re all right.”
“I’m glad you came. I mean…I’m glad it was you. I was hoping it would be you.”
“I couldn’t stay away. I couldn’t leave you out here.”
“Buzz…” She raised her hand, then let it fall as if realizing it would only fan a flame far more dangerous than the fire raging all around.
He wasn’t sure what he would do if she touched him again. Kiss her again, maybe. Or maybe he’d do something really stupid like tell her he loved her…
“We don’t have much time.” Loath to let her go, he stepped back and motioned toward the ATV. “We’ve got to go.”
“You’re hurt.”
“I can drive.” Taking her shoulders, he guided her over to the ATV. “Get on.”
She turned to him, ran her hand lightly over his shoulder. Even though her touch was light, the pain made him wince. She tossed him a worried frown. “My God, you’re shoulder feels like it’s dislocated.”
“It’ll keep for a little while.”
“Buzz—”
It took tremendous effort, but he climbed behind the wheel without wincing. “Get on.”
“You’re stubborn as a mule.”
“I guess maybe that’s one of the things we’ve always had in common.” He stared at her, unmoving, a standoff he was determined to win. “Come on, Kel. We don’t have much time.”
“What am I going to do with you?” Exasperation laced her voice as she slid onto the seat behind him.
He cut her a look. “I don’t think you want me to answer that.”
“Probably not.”
Keenly aware of the press of her body against him, Buzz jammed the vehicle in reverse, braked hard, then headed in the same direction from which he’d come. An instant later he slammed his foot down on the brake. Fear drizzled through his midsection when he saw knee-high flames flickering over the path he’d taken earlier.
“How are we going to get through?” Kelly asked.
“The same way I came through the first time.”
“It wasn’t on fire the first time, was it?”
Using his uninjured arm, he worked off his shirt.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
Without answering, he tore off two long strips of material. He opened the canteen, wetted both strips and turned to Kelly. “I’m going to tie this over your nose and mouth.”
Kelly held herself perfectly still as he positioned the strip of wet material over the lower half of her face and tied it tightly at the back of her head. He did the same to himself. Then turning in the seat, he sprinkled the remaining water over her, wetting her shirt and jeans and hair.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Keeping you from getting burned.” He emptied the canteen over her.
“But what about you?”
He turned away from her, set his hands on the steering wheel. “I want you to hold on to me.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to get us out of here.”
“Buzz, you don’t know what’s on the other side. What if there’s fire?”
He punched the accelerator. The ATV shot forward, a racehorse plunging from the gate and running for its life. He felt Kelly rock back, then her arms wrapped around his midsection. He shouldn’t have enjoyed the sensation considering the circumstances; he wasn’t even sure they were going to get out of this alive. But he reveled in the feel of her against him, her closeness. And he couldn’t help but wonder if this was the last time he would ever have her this close.
The ATV burst into the wall of flames. Yellow heat scorched his face. Acrid smoke burned the inside of his nose, sent tears to his eyes, blurring his vision. Buzz held the steering wheel steady, kept the pedal to the floor and drove blindly through the flames. He smelled burning rubber and singed hair. Heat streaked up his arm. He looked down, saw the sleeve of his shirt smoldering. Cursing, he slapped at the flames, felt Kelly’s hands reach around him to do the same.
An instant later the flames opened up to forest. The smoke thickened, and Buzz knew they were now down-wind, heading south, away from the fire. He sucked in a breath, felt his lungs seize. He coughed. Behind him, he could hear Kelly choking. For the first time he felt the pain of a burn on his arm. He wanted to stop, but knew they couldn’t linger. The smoke was only going to get worse. The heat would only get more intense.
They were alive, he thought. And for the moment, Buzz knew that was the best he could hope for.
The fire pursued them like a hungry predator for what seemed like an eternity, but eventually the smoke thinned and the trail opened up. Visibility returned, though the pungent smell of burning timber still hung heavy in the air. Kelly held onto Buzz as if her life depended on it as the ATV took them over the terrain at a death-defying speed.
She didn’t think they were ever going to reach the campground. Every bump jarred her all the way to her bones. Her face and arms stung from the scratches she’d received from the branches growing into the trail. Even though the smoke was no longer chokingly thick, her throat felt as if someone had taken a rasp to it.
She could only imagine how Buzz felt. He hadn’t said a word, but occasionally, when he had to make a sharp turn or they hit a large bump, she could feel his body go rigid with pain. A couple of times, she even thought she heard him groan. Damn stubborn man. She’d been perfectly capable of driving the ATV. Why did he always have to be so damn heroic?
But she knew the answer to that. And with her emotions riding high, she didn’t want to examine it too closely.
Dusk had fallen by the time they drove into the parking lot of the campground. A dozen fire department vehicles from several jurisdictions, law-enforcement vehicles from the Gunnison County Sheriff’s Department, an ambulance and a big white RMSAR truck hauling a goose-neck horse trailer crowded the small lot. By the time the ATV reached the sidewalk, several people had exited the main building and were rushing toward them. Kelly spotted several police officers, a female park ranger. She caught sight of an RMSAR-emblazoned cap, a television camera and lights. Someone let out a whoop, then a throng of people surrounded them.
A dozen voices came at her at once. She knew it was silly, but she didn’t want to let go of Buzz. She wanted to believe
it was because he was hurt, because he needed her and she wanted to help him. But she knew her inability to take her hands from around his waist had more to do with her own needs than his.
A moment later, she spotted Eddie. Her heart pinged once against her ribs and she had to choke back a sob. “Sweetheart,” she whispered, but the word was barely audible.
“Mommy!”
Her heart swelled at the sound of the little voice she cherished. Tears threatened hotly behind her eyes. Her gaze followed her son’s outstretched arm to the tall man holding his hand. She saw black hair, a devilish goatee and dark, mischievous eyes. Tony Colorosa, the chopper pilot, she realized, and choked out a laugh.
Farther back in the throng of people, she spotted several other members of the Rocky Mountain Search and Rescue team and Taylor Quelhorst. Taylor looked out of place amongst all that flannel and denim in his creased slacks and button-down shirt. Kelly should have been relieved to see him. She should have been relieved that the nightmare was over and she was free to get on with her life. Strangely, she felt nothing more than an odd sense of melancholy.
Buzz cut the ATV’s engine. Kelly was still pressed up against him, with her arms wrapped around his waist. It took a good bit of discipline to disengage herself and slide back.
More than anything, she wanted to see her son. She wanted to hold him and thank God they’d made it through the ordeal alive and unharmed. But before she could walk away, she realized there was something she wanted to say to Buzz first.
Numb with the remnants of fear and sheer exhaustion, she slid from the seat onto shaky legs. She stood there, trying to regain her equilibrium as Buzz slid off. When he turned to her, their eyes met, held—and the rest of the crowd melted away.
His eyes were as gray and hard as the mountain as they studied her. Cool as stone. Uncompromising as granite. And as unpredictable as a mountain storm. There was no sign of the pain that was surely racking his body. No sign of the tenderness he’d shown her the night before. No sign that anything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours had affected him one way or the other.
She stared at him, the festering wound of emotions inside her throbbing, about to burst. Suddenly, all the words that had been pounding to get out dried in her mouth. Her chest was so tight she couldn’t speak. It stunned her to realize she was close to tears. She didn’t want to cry here. Not in front of all these people. Certainly not in front of this man; she didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.
“You okay?” Buzz asked.
Because she couldn’t manage anything else, she raised her hand and pressed her fingers lightly to his cheek. He flinched at her touch, but he didn’t look away.
“I just wanted to thank you,” she whispered. “For everything.”
The words weren’t adequate, but for the life of her she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
For a moment, he looked as if he wanted to say something more. Kelly found herself leaning toward him, wanting to hear his voice, desperate to know what was going on inside that hardened exterior.
“Mommy!”
The moment vanished. Kelly started, feeling as if she’d just been wakened from a deep sleep. Turning, she saw Eddie rushing toward her, Tony Colorosa in tow.
She knelt just in time for Eddie to fling himself into her arms. Closing her eyes, she enveloped him in her arms and squeezed him as tightly as she dared.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Pressing her face against his hair, she breathed in his little-boy scent. Her heart ached with love for him.
“Mommy, you’re squeezing me!”
Struggling to control her emotions, Kelly mustered a smile and eased her child to arm’s length. “How’s my puppy face?”
He grinned. “I’m not a puppy face.”
She choked out a laugh.
He was wearing a black RMSAR cap that was too big even though it was cinched to the smallest size. She figured it was Tony Colorosa’s. She could only imagine how Tony had kept her son entertained for the day while Buzz and the rest of the team had been out looking for her.
“Mommy, we were scared because you were lost in the woods, but Flyboy told me Buzz was going to save you just like in the movies!”
Kelly didn’t know what to say to that. “He did, honey.”
“Flyboy showed me his chopter. He let me sit in the pilot’s seat and everything!”
Tony smiled down at him and winked. “That’s chopper, sport.”
“And I got to sit on the horse! Man! When I grow up I want to be a Search and Rescue pilot only I’m gonna have horses, too!” He squirmed in her arms and looked at Tony. “Where’s Jake? I want to show Mommy the horse!”
Unable to keep herself from it, Kelly pulled Eddie close again and looked at Tony over his shoulder. She mouthed the words thank you and gave up on trying to withhold the tears.
“Kelly.”
She should have been comforted and relieved to hear Taylor Quelhorst’s voice. He represented her future. A secure life in Lake Tahoe. The job of her dreams. The future she’d always wanted for herself and her son. But for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why the sound of his voice filled her with dread. Why she didn’t want to see him. Why she didn’t want to talk to him. Why she felt vaguely annoyed that he was there at all.
Shoving the irrational feelings to the back of her mind where they belonged, she stood and faced him. His blue eyes swept swiftly down the front of her. He was smiling, but she saw distaste flash across his expression and realized he was reacting either to the stench of smoke or the way she looked.
“I must look like a walking disaster,” she heard herself say.
“You look terrific.”
Kelly looked over her shoulder, telling herself she wasn’t looking for Buzz, spotted several RMSAR team members talking to him.
“I’m really glad you’re all right.”
She turned back to Taylor and forced a smile, only giving him half her attention. “Thank you.”
He must have decided she didn’t look that bad, because in the next instant, he stepped forward and pulled her into an embrace.
“Taylor…” she said, surprised.
“I was so worried about you.”
Kelly closed her eyes and let herself be held, trying not to think about how cold his arms felt around her. She tried not to compare this with the heat of Buzz’s embrace. Or think about how wrong it felt to be held by another man. Most of all, she tried not to acknowledge the pain knifing through her heart because as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she was pretty sure it was broken.
And she knew there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it because it was nobody’s fault but her own.
Buzz watched the other man’s arms go around her and felt the primal urge to walk over and rearrange that pretty-boy face. Blood streaked through his veins like lighted jet fuel as Quelhorst’s hands skimmed over the small of her back. Dangerous thoughts streaked through his mind, possessive thoughts that belied the fact that he was an enlightened and civilized man.
She made her choice, a little voice told him. Be a man about it and let her go.
He looked over at the child whose hand she clutched so with a white-knuckled hand, and a different kind of pain broke open in his chest. The kind of pain a man never quite learned to live with.
“Easy does it, partner.”
He turned his head at the sound of the voice to see John Maitland standing next to him, a grim, knowing expression on his face.
“Let it go,” Maitland said.
Buzz answered with a nasty curse. He might be furious and hurting and maybe even a little desperate, but his pride wouldn’t let him do anything as stupid as take a swing at a man over a woman who’d made her position perfectly clear.
“Come on,” John said. “I’ll drive you over to Lake County to get that shoulder looked at.”
Pain ground in his shoulder every time he moved. The burn on his arm throbbed with every beat of his heart. But the pain splitting his ches
t was infinitely worse than those two physical pains combined.
Buzz took one last look at Kelly and Eddie. At the woman who’d once been his, who’d turned his life upside-down. At the child who’d changed everything—and made him realize for the first time in his life just how wrong a man could be, how at odds a man could be about what he wanted and what he really needed.
Regret lay like a steel ball in his gut. He would find a way to get to know his son, he vowed. He would travel to Lake Tahoe as often as possible. Eddie could visit during summer vacation and spring break. They could play softball down at the school in the evenings. Hike the trails and camp during the warm summer months. Ski when the mountains were lush with snow.
But the thought of seeing that child only two or three times a year hurt. It wasn’t enough, he realized. It would never be enough. He wanted more. Not just his son, but the woman. He wanted his wife back. A house with a white picket fence and a hedge and a Labrador retriever.
He wanted a family.
The realization shocked him. Frightened him. That it was five years too late shattered him.
Feeling himself tumbling into a black pit of despair, Buzz turned away. He was breathing hard, nearly doubled over with pain. John Maitland looked away, and Buzz realized the other man knew it wasn’t just the physical pain that was about to send him to his knees.
Hanging on to the last of his dignity by a thread, Buzz started toward the RMSAR truck across the lot. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”
Chapter 18
R ock and roll blared through the hangar. A serenade of screaming guitar, bass drums and a lilting male voice echoed off the corrugated steel walls, vibrating everything in between.
Tony Colorosa spouted off about his date the night before as he walked around his first love—the pretty Bell 412 chopper—and did the pre-flight check. John Maitland rolled his eyes from his place at the hatch while he inventoried the med kits stowed in the overhead compartments. Twenty feet away, at the north side of the hangar where a small, impromptu meeting area had been set up, Jake Madigan unrolled a laminated terrain map and pinned it to a wallboard.