“I didn’t have many when I met you,” he said. “And I spent them all, the last of my thirty allotted, on you.” He smiled and then brushed his palm against my cheek. “Sweetheart, I couldn’t get you out of that house without some outside help. You were complicated. All the background research...”
He spent everything on me? I bit my lower lip. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said. “Totally worth it. But I’ve got zero now. I asked Mr. Blackbourne for more to help with you, which he didn’t mind, but from my count, he’s getting pretty close to thirty, too.”
“The thirty original?” I asked. “The ones that are like credit?”
“Yeah,” he said and then grinned. “You’re learning fast. If you pay off your debt, any amount over thirty, that’s when you graduate. Sort of. It’s complicated.”
I understood it. “How’d he get so low?”
“We’ve been working on getting more for everyone, but it’s not always easy. There’s been the situation with Nathan’s dad, and occasionally Pam, and then Silas’s brother, Theo. Family things like that can eat up a lot of favors. And then you, sometimes.”
“I’m costing you favors,” I said quietly.
“It’s normal,” he said quickly and hugged me around the shoulders. “But I didn’t want to ask for any more. If I kept doing that, they would send a manager to our team to check out why we kept borrowing from each other. I didn’t want to call attention to you.”
I hunched down, putting my arms around my stomach and looking down at the fire pit. Now that I knew about the favor system, I wondered how much I had cost them all. Like the times I went to the hospital. “My stepmother? In the Academy hospital?”
“That’s more cash than favors,” he said quietly. “It’s not a big deal. We’ve got plenty of that. We got another boost when we did the Thanksgiving Day donations.”
Money and favors. Because of my stepmother, I must have been costing them a fortune, covering the hospital bills for so long. I was also risking Kota’s Academy career, eating up his favors just to keep me around, to keep me safe. No wonder he hadn’t dared to kiss me and break the rule.
The others had given in so quickly, maybe because they thought they had favors to spare. Or did they not realize how low their favors must be? Kota was family lead, right? Maybe he kept track of those things and knew the true numbers.
At this rate, if I got into the Academy, I might get a zero balance in each area right from the start.
Kota rubbed my spine. “Come on,” he said. “We should walk back to camp.”
“Is it ten already?” I asked.
“It’s getting there,” he said and stood. He reached for my hand. “Do you want me to come find you tomorrow night?”
I nodded enthusiastically. I wanted to talk to him about the plan, but I was suddenly lost in thought of favors and numbers. Perhaps because he worked with me and then spent so much time working as family lead that he never had a chance to earn a favor on other jobs. He spent, but maybe it was difficult to earn them back when he worked so hard to keep nine other people safe.
I held his hand as I walked beside him, lost in thought, my eyes trained on the road. I couldn’t help but worry about my place in the team. If I joined, the Academy might not like me sticking with my team. We knew it would be difficult. We knew there would be problems; there were probably many issues we hadn’t even thought through yet.
The Academy would force us to look at every single angle. With so many of us, and with me in the middle, I couldn’t help but see them fighting over how things would work out with us. I’d already seen hints of jealousy and had to imagine there would be more.
Then there was the cost. I was expensive, because of my stepmother, and no doubt looking out for Marie would be expensive, too. I didn’t think I could have the opportunity to be a member of the Academy without asking them to help me with my stepmother and Marie. Guilt would follow me through all my days if I simply abandoned them when I had the chance to at least make sure they were comfortable.
Maybe my father, too. Despite still being angry with him, and wanting to forget about him, what about the family he was with now? Did they deserve to be ignored? Or could they be at risk because of his past? I didn’t even know them or anything about them, but something I did in the future might reflect back on him.
Maybe when the Academy did their digging, it might uncover if he really did rape my mother, or he’d get into trouble if anyone discovered she had been only sixteen.
And then there was me. I was in the middle of high school, already in trouble with Volto, Mr. McCoy and more. I might be too expensive to take care of at this point. There was no denying taking me on would be complicated.
Maybe all this talk of plans and how we’d work it out was moot. Maybe the Academy couldn’t afford to keep me. Or worse, maybe they wouldn’t even want me.
A RIFT AMONG FRIENDS
I dwelled on dark thoughts the entire way back to the campsites, although I held Kota’s hand. He quietly remained by my side, a small smile on his lips as he used the flashlight to guide our way back to camp.
Before I knew it, we were at the guys’ tent and North was just putting out the campfire with a bucket of water. The others were putting away chairs and starting toward the tent.
Lake was with them, standing by. She was the first to see us coming. “Here she is,” she said and pointed in my direction.
The others stopped what they were doing, looking at us.
It was instinct to pull my hand away from Kota, as I was feeling awkward but Kota held my hand firmly in his. I stopped fighting since he thought it was okay.
“It’s been a long day,” Kota said. He looked at Lake. “Think you can walk her back without running into bears, or another cave?” He said this with his smile firm, teasing.
Lake raised an eyebrow, looking from me to Kota. “Uh...yeah.”
“Good,” Kota said. He turned to me.
I looked up at him, thinking he meant to just say goodnight.
He leaned in quickly and kissed me square on the lips. It was quick, but that he’d done it meant so much. He pulled back and smiled. “Eight,” he said. He squeezed my hand and walked toward the tent. “Okay guys, where are we at? Where can I help?”
I stood there frozen in place, stunned, surprised, shaken. I glanced at North, Nathan, who had been at the tent holding the flap open, and Gabriel and Luke, who were dragging chairs around.
Nathan looked confused and backed himself into the tent.
North frowned, but said nothing, continuing to put out the fire.
Luke and Gabriel seemed curious, eyebrows raised, but then Gabriel spoke to Kota. “Not much,” he said. “You want the coolers back in the car?”
They talked but no one had said anything about the kiss.
Lake approached me, distracting me by snapping her fingers near my face. “Hey,” she said. “You sleepwalking? Let’s go.”
I nodded and turned away, unable to say anything. I hadn’t been prepared for that goodnight kiss, especially in front of everyone. While I wanted to be happy about it, I was unsure about Nathan, who’d admitted to being jealous seeing that sort of thing, and North, who seemed to struggle with it, too.
“You took forever,” Lake said as she walked beside me to the road. “Were you having sex or what?”
I gasped and my eyes widened as I stopped in the road. “No!” I said quickly.
Lake lifted her hands in a wait gesture. “Hey, I was just asking. I don’t care.”
“We were...” I said and then stumbled. “We...I...”
“I said I don’t care,” Lake said. She looked ahead and then started walking.
I kept up beside her. “There’s complications with me joining the guy team. We were going over the problems.”
“Find any solutions?” she asked.
I lowered my head, watching our feet as we walked. “No,” I said. Not one I was satisfied with anyway.
The woods around us were very dark. Lake had a flashlight and carried her towel and supplies with her. I’d forgotten to get my own bathroom kit from North, but I suspected it was taken care of for now and I could get it tomorrow when I needed it.
Every so often, there was a pole with a streetlight, but they were so far apart, that you could be in the pitch dark in certain areas. We shuffled quietly along, eventually finding our way back to Taylor’s tent.
Quiet, whispery noises drifted out from it.
“Let’s scare them,” Lake said.
I shook my head. “Not tonight,” I said. I was thinking of the younger girls. They were probably exhausted.
Lake pouted. “You’re no fun,” she said and headed toward the tent to unzip it.
Despite my desire to not scare the girls, the moment Lake started unzipping the tent, the girls inside cried out in panic.
“It’s a boy!” one of them said. “Coming to spy on us!”
“Or a bear!”
Lake chuckled and finished opening the zipper and then growled a little.
We went inside. Some of the girls were in bed, lying down but with blankets over their heads.
Emma was turned in her cot, asleep, as was April. Taylor was sitting up and grinned at us. “Ha,” she said. “Good one, girls.”
“Where have you been?” Carla asked. She had been sitting up and now dropped her pillow back into place at the head of her cot. “It’s past ten.”
“I don’t have a watch,” Lake said. I knew she had a phone so that wasn’t really true.
I didn’t want to get into where we’d been. I went to my cot, dropping down onto it and yanked off my boots. “We’re here now.”
Carla pointed a finger at us. “You could have been caught. You would have gotten into trouble.”
“They’re fine,” Taylor said. “They weren't causing a ruckus. As long as you’re quiet, no one cares if you’re out of your tent after ten.”
“They said it was a rule,” Carla said.
“They say that every year,” Taylor said. “But they aren’t prison guards. You don’t get a demerit or get put into the clink.”
Carla frowned, pursing her lips.
Lake paused, looking around after she zipped up the tent again. “Hey,” she said. “Where...”
“You’re over there with Sang,” Carla said. “We rearranged some of the cots.”
After I’d finished with my boots and had put them aside, I paused, checking out the cots, which had been moved around a little. An empty one was closer to mine than it had been before, and the others had made room for a big air mattress in the middle, where three girls were sleeping on it. The arrangement didn’t make sense and wasn’t the most efficient use of space. It seemed Carla had made sure Taylor, her team, Lake and me were shoved out toward the edges.
Lake rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she said and she dropped down into the cot next to mine.
“I didn’t do it because of you,” Carla said.
Lake frowned, lay down on her cot, and then turned toward me, putting her back to Carla not saying anything.
I didn’t blame her. She’d been on the other side of the tent before and now it felt like she was being pushed away.
Maybe it wasn’t what it looked like. Carla might have meant well; maybe the young girls had asked to sleep closer together and she’d complied. But I could see why it looked like they were trying to cast Lake out. Maybe Lake assumed it was because she was a boy.
It was obvious they weren't going to get along. They weren't going to be a team together. Lake was going to have to find another team sometime this week, or allow the Academy to put her in a team.
“Lights out,” Taylor said.
CAMP CONTINUES
For the next two days, I saw very little of the boys, and Carla seemed determined to keep the girls together.
We met other people, but we were always together.
Mrs. Rose met with us every morning at nine. She went through explaining managers, more about the favors and money systems, and tried to answer questions. She also went over more details about the special jobs for girls, like April had done the night before.
I was her voice, and when my voice became weak and tired, I would relay to Lake, who had a louder voice and could go on for a long time.
Because Lake and I had turned into something like camp counselors for the younger girls, they followed wherever we went. Lake and I often tried to sneak away from camp activities in the afternoons when we split up, even going back to fish crabs with Silas. But we wouldn’t be there long before we had five fourteen-year-old girls behind us, and Carla trailing behind them.
They did, however, participate in everything we did. They fished for crabs, took in a first aid training lecture, and painted. One day we volunteered to cook lunch and clean up after.
We never went on another hike, but Mrs. Rose occasionally joined us at these activities and continued to answer more of our questions. She talked about examples of inside jobs, too. Even though I’d been on a few, like that time when we helped a family of children from Mexico, and her examples were different from what I’d experienced, it just showed me how varied Academy jobs could be.
The burritos had a long cooler life, a fact Lake was surprised about, considering they had mashed avocado inside. However, not everyone wanted them, so Taylor made a vegan bean salad on the third morning.
Lake and I polished off a box of Pop-Tarts and started in on granola bars. Those held us until lunch when we could fill up. By the time dinner came around, Lake and I often were able to sneak over to the boys, but I was usually still full of lunch and ate a small bag of chips for dinner.
Every morning, a cooler loaded with a fresh collection of chilled mocha Frappuccinos appeared on the picnic table. I suspected Victor and one of the others made sure to stop by before we woke up. There was enough for everyone, including April, although she drank her regular coffee Frappuccinos, too.
Everything seemed fine, and Lake and I were sure we could probably survive the rest of the week simply existing on Pop-Tarts and putting up with a trail of fourteen-year-olds following us everywhere.
The one thing that became more of an issue every day was the fact that we had North drive us to the other latrine every night to wash up, and then tended to disappear for hours after that point.
Kota usually met up with us and listened to Lake and I talk about our day. There was always some complaining about Carla, and Kota encouraged us to talk to her. But the truth was that we both found it hard to talk to her.
After returning from the latrines, we spent our evenings with the guys around the fire. Lake and I often got too tired to even talk, but Gabriel and some of the others talked about the different teams, the classes going on, and what they might do the next day.
The boys were acting a little distant, I noticed. We were all friendly, but I wondered if something was going on because none of them pulled me aside or talked about the important issues: about me joining the Academy and the plan. No one brought up Kota kissing me, either.
The evening was the only time I really got to see them all. I missed them so much that once Lake and I could join them after we’d been to the latrine, we lingered there until close to ten, leaving only then so Carla wouldn’t make a fuss about us being out late.
On our third full official day, Lake and I, in an attempt to get the younger girls to leave us, spent all afternoon at the most seemingly uninteresting booths and activities. There was a geologist who pointed out rocks in the area and had us practice identifying them. There was a botanist who worked with us on identifying plants.
Unfortunately, those turned out to be really interesting. The lecturers made them fun. The most boring activity ended up being fishing because of all the standing around, waiting for a bite.
After twenty minutes at each station, we’d retreat, even if we liked the lectures going on, and try another booth, trying to shake the girls. But each time, they followed.
 
; Carla was always last to trail behind them. Eventually, we ended up at the arts and crafts area, where there often wasn’t room for all of us to sit together, so we were forced to spread out, finding seats where we could. It was as good as Lake and I could hope for.
“I don’t understand it,” Lake whispered to me, trying to weave the start of a sweetgrass basket as an instructor had shown us. “I would have ditched you by now...”
I smirked and shrugged.
“You know what I mean,” Lake said. “How many times have we told them to mingle?”
“I don’t know,” I said, focusing on the grass. Weaving was harder than it had appeared and was already hurting my hands.
That night, we had a quick dinner of vegan hotdogs at Taylor’s invitation, with Lake and I and a couple of girls opting for granola instead.
Every night, Carla tried her best to rally the girls into songs and skits and games. Lake and I often bowed out, not because we didn’t want to. Carla, however, often didn’t ask us to join in. Sometimes, she pretended we weren’t even there.
Once Lake and I were done, we left to get to the showers early and then spent the evening with the guys. As we sat around the campfire making s’mores, the guys let us complain about the girls following us, sympathizing. At one point I looked up at Kota and could tell he still thought Lake and I should talk to her, but he didn’t say anything and I looked away.
Part of me hoped the week would end without any sort of confrontation. I didn’t want to fight. Why couldn’t they understand we needed space?
When we returned from the guys’ camp, Carla was waiting outside the tent.
“We have ten minutes,” Lake said before she’d said a word. It’d been a really long day and I imagined she was as tired as I was and didn’t want to get a lecture about being out past the scheduled time.
“I don’t care about that,” Carla said. She had her arms folded over her chest, standing close to the door, blocking our way. She leaned in, her eyes focusing hard on us. “I need to talk to you two.”
“We’ll be late,” Lake said with a teasing grin.