Chapter 3
Amit was sitting on his bed after writing about the dream he had just now. He was feeling eerily cold and that feeling had not gone even though it had been nearly an hour since he was awake. He was trying to remember if anything he had missed about his dream which he had not written down. But now after an hour most of the facts from tonight’s dream have receded from his waking memory. He wanted to talk to some one but was not able to make his mind to whom to place a call. Ever since his return from the dead everybody in his circle have took care of him and his family was against his living alone in Delhi. His mother wanted to come to stay with him which he somehow managed to stall. He wanted this mystery to resolve and till then he did not wanted to put anyone in danger. He could have placed call to dozen of people and they would not had been angry with but would have pleasantly talked to him even at this ungodly hour in the night. This he was sure of but the thing he was not sure was to whom to call. He knew it was so much late that it was very early. He did not want to disturb anyone so much as did not want to alarm that person. Every one around him had been nervously living, even sensing the danger and fear he was living in. No body told him how they were afraid about him but the looks in their eyes or the change of tone in their voice was enough to tell him how much they also wanted him to live normally as he used to before he went to that fateful vacation.
After too much deliberation he cancelled every of his friends, girl friends and lovers knowing well that anyone from the last two groups would be thrilled to talk to him. It was not that his friends would hate him to call at this hour but they would not been thrilled like the members of last two groups. He could come up with only two persons to talk to one was his younger brother and the other a distant relative from his mother’s side. He knew he could call his brother anytime and he would be there like a rock for him as they both have been for each other all their lives. But this second person was a very recent addition in his life. Amit had known him since his childhood but had always hated his manners and politics. But now he knew there is a bond developed between them since his return even though he was totally confused how such a thing could happen. After all he had hated the man all his life and the man had known Amit’s feeling about him very well. Even then the bond had grew stronger by each passing day and he had become second most important person in Amit’s life after his own brother. Was it fate or just pure coincidence he could not fathom but he was very much sure about the strength of his relationship with this man. He decided to place a call to this man as he knew that his bother would be alone at this hour of night and he thought that it would be better not to disturb him. He dialed a number which was personal and secret. Very few people in the country had such numbers. He always wondered how such number could come in the possession of a person who was dubbed public enemy by most of the left wing thinkers even though they thought him as a mere nuisance than anything more.
“Are you ok son?” asked the man who had a strong voice. “Yes mama ji I am fine” answered Amit as politely as he could. His voice was sincere and he was genuinely polite to his mama ji. This was not the case few months back. He used to hate this man’s guts and would always try to tell him how much he liked him but not even acknowledging his presence when they came face to face. “I had a dream and was not able to sleep again…”
“Its good that you called me.” Said mama ji. “Actually I have disturbed you and I am sorry for that but you know I can seek your help as no one is able to do so” Said Amit almost feeling guilty of calling him at this hour. “You should not feel guilty about calling your own mama” said the man laughingly. “What did you dreamt about son?” he asked with concern. “The same, usual stuff. Someone was trying to take me away and I was trying to fight him.” Said Amit feeling afraid all of a sudden. “Did you win this time?” his voice was low but reassuring. “No. They were able to take me”. “Where? Did you see the place son?” his voice was now really concerned. “No but they threw me against my will and then I woke up.” Was all he could say. He was not hiding anything from him and even though he had tried to see the faces of his captures as told by Dr. Singh he was not able to do so. All he could remember was that they were trying to take him somewhere and he was not willing to go with them. “I think there is nothing to worry about son. Were you able to see who they were?” “No I was not able to see their faces. Dr. Singh also had told me to try and look at their face so that I may be able to recall at least one of them and then he may be able to deduce where I was when I was missing” said Amit slowly
“Do not get disheartened my boy. I have told you that I will personally help you to solve this mystery. Have faith in me my dear.” His voice was clear and Amit felt his fear somehow going away. He had this feeling of being safe with mama ji since his return. And he was very much puzzled about this feeling. How could he feel safe around a person whom he had hated all his life. And how could such a person give only love to him even though he knew that he was hated by Amit? Such possibility never existed in the world Amit lived. Love and respect was given only to some who reciprocated and not to the one who gave hatred instead of love. Second puzzle for Amit was that how could mama ji who has so much hatred in his heart for almost every thing and every one could be able to give love? Is it not unnatural? May be or may be not. Now is not the tight time to solve the puzzles of mama ji’s behaviour. Right now he has to solve mystery of his life or one can say life after his death. He had been thought to be dead by everyone in his family except mama ji when his car was taken out of the river but his body not found. He was told by every family member he met after his return that when mama ji heard the news of his disappearance he was shocked but not worried. He just said nothing will happen to Amit. And he was sure of it as he was sure about he being alive. Sometimes Amit felt ashamed about his behaviour towards mama ji before. But how could he know. He just reacted towards him as a normal person would have reacted. And this was also told to him by mama ji himself few times after his return when he was more guilt ridden than normally he is around him.
Thinking about things he could not comprehend his mind drifted away and he fell asleep. Amit woke up hearing the door bell. He jumped up when he saw the sun has gone too far up in the sky. He must have slept for very long than usual. As he went to answer the bell (it must be the maid to clean the house) he felt slight headache. Through the eye hole he saw that it was really the maid as it was eight in the morning, the usual time when the maid arrived. He checked his cell phone. No calls or messages. People do not bother him till ten in the morning when every body starts calling up at the same time. His psychiatrist has become his personal doctor and the detective his friend. He meets his psychiatrist and detective every day. At about ten he would start from his flat in Dwarka to reach his doctor’s office in Safdarjung. It is not more than 30 minutes drive but do to rush hours he usually manages to get there by 11:30 A.M. Narendra has his office near by so Amit either meets him in his office first and then go to the doctor’s or he calls Narendra to the doctor’s. Amit likes to meet both his close friends as he calls them together. Even Dr. Singh likes to have Narendra during his sessions with Amit so that he may arrive at some point so as to remove the fear from his mind that he is being followed by people having sinister designs.
Amit got ready in half an hour and then had his breakfast to milk and bread. All along he was thinking about the things he has been thinking since he opened his eyes in the hospital bed in Haridwar. Where was he those 45 days? Why was he not able to recall anything about the accident or about those days? Where did he spend those days? Since then he always remembered something about where he had spent those days but has not spoken about it to any one. Not even to his doctor friend. But as the brutality of his dreams is increasing and they are getting vivid he plans to tell Dr. Singh about things he remembered about the place where he had been. He was very much sure that the doctor would be skeptic about his memory. He would tell him that it is again his mind playing tricks and it is o
nly his mind making things so as to heal those things which he chose not to remember. Amit was late to his appointment with his doctor. It was nearly noon when he entered the lobby of the building where the office of Dr. Singh was situated. The doctor was doing well to have an office in such a locality. When he first came to meet Dr. Singh and saw the building he thought that he came to a wrong address. But since then he has been sure about two things: People in Delhi in general are getting crazy and that Dr. Singh is very good at what he does. Only problem with Dr. Singh is that he is taking Amit as his regular crazy types which he is again sure that he is not. He is just not able to remember few days of his life. Just that and nothing more. And he is also sure that there are people involved in his memory loss and that they are hell bent to remove Amit from the picture completely.
As he entered the doctor’s office he was greeted by the smiling skeleton. The personal assistant of Dr. Singh is a young girl but Amit thinks she is a skeleton. Also Amit thinks that she is in more need of the doctor’s help that he has. She is wafer thin and really puts her mind hard at keeping herself as bony as she could. Amit sometimes has to wait for other patients to come out when he is late for his appointment and during those times he has develop good relationship with this skeleton. “How is my good skeleton feeling?” Asked Amit smilingly. “As usual” said Nisha. This was the name of the skeleton. “Which is?” asked Amit innocently but his eyes were giving hint of mischief.
“Bored and frustrated” replied Nisha. “Why so” again smiling and thinking that who ever is in should come out as soon as possible as he wants to tell the doctor things he had been hiding from him. “Bored because you will are the only charming person coming today and you will be going in very soon and frustrated because even after so much efforts I have increase in my weight” said Nisha. “How much did you gain?” Amit was happy to learn that he was due in next. “400 g”. “What” He was amazed as how much she is hurting herself by reducing and keeping her weight at that level. She was good 5 ft 2 in and her weight was 35 kgs! “You need a psychiatrist” said Amit rolling his eyes. Well Sir! If you do not I know I work as personal assistant of a well known psychiatrist and I can assure you that I do not need one. “When am I due in?” Amit asked getting impatient
“You can go right in. I was just trying to flirt with you.” Said Nisha and giving him a wave to go in. “Nice of you to tell me so soon” He said smiling and opened the door.
Inside he found Narendra sitting with Dr. Singh. “Where have you been? We were getting worried” asked Narendra. “Worried or feeling relieved?” Amit with a mischievous smile. “Why relieved?” asked Narendra with mock wonder “Having being able to get rid of me?” said Amit innocently. “Do you think we are such heartless people that we do not have any care about our families?” said Narendra with mock anger. All the three started laughing. Having been seated Amit looked at Dr. Singh. A tall man, he had a good physique even at his age. He must be around 65 but walks tall and most probably frequents the gym. “So…? Any progress?” asked the doctor. “I had the dream again” said Amit. “When?” asked Narendra. “Just when I was about to open the door of this room! When do you expect me to have a dream? It was at night.” Said Amit with mock annoyance “Ok Ok I got the point.” Narendra said defensively. Dr. Singh was keenly watching the face of his patient. His face was telling him that something was amiss but he did not venture himself as it would be best that the thing should come out first from the side of the patient. “I want to tell you something which I have not discussed till now.” Amit said after some thought after he saw that the doctor was studying his face rather than being involved in playing with the group.
Dr. Singh and Narendra shared a knowing glance. “What” asked Amit “Are you hatching a conspiracy?” “Nothing of such sorts but we both agreed that you have something hidden which we were speculating upon.” Said the doctor “And what according to you is that?” asked Amit with some annoyance. “Why are you annoyed?” asked the doctor. “I am not annoyed” said Amit in little bitter tone. “But dear boy your tone tells us that you are very annoyed with something or someone” said the doctor seriously. Narendra again felt that the session has started to get serious and he even though was invited by Amit in all the sessions against the wishes of the doctor had good sense not to interfere in any serious talks between the doctor and patient. There was a long silence during which Amit kept fiddling with his hands anxiously and the doctor just studying his mannerism and keenly looking at his face. He never took his eyes off Amit while noting his hands at work. Doctor wanted Amit to come out first because as he and Narendra had discussed privately Amit had guilty conscious and it was because of it he was suffer from paranoia and was hiding some very terrible truth. Doctor in his heart did not believe a word what Amit said to him every day about those dreams and being followed by someone. He was very sure that the some one which Amit feared following him is already dead either killed by Amit accidentally or in cold blood. He was also sure that one day Amit would come up with some tale which would describe the place where that terrible thing happened and then he hoped that Narendra would help in finding the place and solving a crime thus releasing Amit of his guilty conscious. He knew involving Narendra would be not ethical but other than this there was nothing he can do apart from going to the police which would be the breach of doctor-patient confidentiality.
After about ten minutes of thinking and making his hands move Amit finally said “I always had been able to see someone and few things in the background in some of my dreams.” Bingo thought the doctor and Narendra at the same time and their eyes met briefly. The doctor is really good than he is given due thought Narendra. He had hit the bulls eyes fortnight ago when they were discussing Amit and his dreams and paranoia in one of the sessions when he was late. This is going o be interesting was the thought going in the minds of both the doctor and the detective. Whom did he murder? His girl friend or boyfriend? Jealousy or some other guilt drove him to madness? Where has he hidden the body? Or was it an accident involving someone totally unknown during that vacation trip during which he panicked? These sort of questions were coming in the minds of both Dr. Singh and Narendra. They were in for a big surprise. They were thinking they had cracked the case and would be able to free Amit of his guilty conscious and then tell the laws take their own course. But they were never anywhere near the truth. This case would test not only their believes but also their sanity. Unaware of such thoughts in minds of both the person whom he grew to trust he was trying to find words through which he can tell them what he wanted to say. It was going to be difficult for both of them but it has to be done now to retain his sanity and to seek help of Narendra in this matter. Where should he begin? Should he tell the truth or hide something for now? After some thought he decided to tell the whole truth and he looked up. Dr. Singh was looking at the face of his patient and when he saw him lifting his face the look in his eyes told him that he was ready to fight his guilt and tell the whole truth. One was ready to tell the truth and the other was ready to receive it but for both of them the truth was different. And both of them were wrong for considering it the truth. Truth was far much deeper than even Amit could comprehend. And this was the reason why he was not able to get a grip on it. And this was the reason why they had to suppress his memory.
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