Chapter 3: Our Ignorant Hero
All right, just to make sure you remember the previous edition of Superkid (assuming of course you’d actually read it), here’s the quiz I promised you… what, you thought I was kidding?
Superkid’s alternate identity is:
A. Johnny Piddle
B. Derrick Moorn
C. Aaron Purn
If you guessed A then you are—WRONG! There’s no Johnny Piddle in Superkid anywhere! I’d make fun of a guy with that name! Hey Johnny Piddle-Paddle! Ha ha ha ha… that’s not funny? Well, the point is to see if you had actually read the first edition. Here’s another question.
Superkid’s very first super fight was with:
A. Doctor Red
B. A giant spider
C. The Vampire
If you selected C then you are—WRONG! Ha! The Vampire was actually the last villain he fought in the last edition. You just thought that since this is about her revenge, she was the first one he had tangled with. Better go read that first edition! And no I didn’t forget to tell you the correct answers. That was a nice try though.
As for the rest of us who have already read the first edition, let us continue with the story, shall we?
Aaron Purn was at the kitchen table, scratching his head thoughtfully and staring at the pencil poised above his math homework. At that moment, Darrin and Derrick entered through the front door, carrying backpacks.
“Hey Aaron, old buddy, old pal,” Derrick greeted his friend with a jovial wave. He chucked his bag onto the table and then pulled a math book from it.
Aaron’s thoughtful frown deepened and his eyes flashed to the book and the piece of paper Derrick had just pulled out.
Derrick said in his sweetest voice (like cough drops), “Aaron, I’ve got a favor to ask you…”
“No,” Aaron responded immediately. He returned his attention to his homework.
“I didn’t even ask yet!” Derrick protested.
“I know what you’re going to ask, and the answer is, ‘no’.”
“You don’t know what favor I’m going to ask!”
“Yes I do.”
Derrick challenged him, “What is it then?”
Aaron looked up at Derrick and answered, “You want me to do your math homework for you so that you and Darrin can go gallivanting somewhere and have fun while I’m stuck doing your homework.”
“That’s not it at all!” Derrick cried, throwing out his hands in an insulted gesture.
Aaron raised an eyebrow.
Derrick sighed and shrugged. “Okay, so maybe that was it. But why not?”
Aaron glared at him. “For one thing, I’m not your personal slave. For another, the reason we have homework is so that we can imbibe what we’ve learned so that we can use it sometime in the future.”
“Ah, come on! You’re the only one who gets this stuff!”
“Maybe that’s because I actually do my homework.”
Darrin told Derrick, “You know, it would probably be faster and easier if we just did our homework ourselves.” So saying, he bent over the table to begin his homework.
But Derrick wasn’t giving up that easily, oh no. If there was one thing he was good at, it was weaseling his way out of good honest work—I should probably take some lessons from him.
“Fine then,” Derrick said in a tone that said he didn’t want to resort to the alternative. “I guess I’ll have to find someone else.”
“Oh yeah?” said Aaron. “Who?”
Derrick took in a deep breath. Then he said, “Superkid.”
Aaron suddenly jerked as though he had received an electric shock. Then he glanced around and asked, “What’s going on?”
“Hey Superkid, old buddy, old--”
“No.”
Derrick’s mouth fell open. “I haven’t even…”
“You were going to ask if I would do your homework for you and the answer is ‘no’.”
“But—but…” Derrick threw out his hands in despair. “Why not?”
Superkid held up his fingers. “Because one, I’m not your personal work horse, and two, this homework is for your own good. You’ll be using this learning one day.”
Darrin hid his smile behind his math book. Derrick gaped at Superkid for a second before he burst out, “Gee! You’re two totally different people but you still say the same thing!”
“Of course,” said Superkid, slipping into his lecturing mode. “We are, in fact, one and the same. Just two sides of the same coin. Me…” he lifted one palm, “and Aaron,” he lifted the other palm before he jerked. Then he blinked and shook his head.
“That was weird,” said Aaron. “My mind must have drifted or something.”
Derrick was about to reply but Darrin rushed in, “Hey Aaron, I’m having a problem with problem number eight. What does it mean by ‘coefficient’?”
“Well here.” Aaron proceeded to explain the problem while Derrick reluctantly opened his math book and began to work goodly and honestly…
Hmm, something’s wrong with this picture.
Later that evening, Derrick was watching TV. The front door opened and his dad appeared. His dad shut the door and then sat down with a sigh next to Derrick. He watched the screen for a moment and then turned to his son.
“Whatcha watchin’?”
“The Tales of Canter Barry,” Derrick replied.
“Ah.” His dad nodded. “What’s it about?”
“Just this guy who goes on all these adventures.”
“Oh.”
There was a pause. Then Mr. Moorn asked, “You like the show?”
“Yeah.”
“Your favorite?”
“I guess.”
Mr. Moorn grinned evilly at his son. “Would you like to see what I like to watch?”
“Not really,” said Derrick though he was grinning too.
“Pity,” said Mr. Moorn. He suddenly swiped the remote that Derrick had been surreptitiously tucking into his backside (try not to imagine it) and began flicking through the channels.
“Ah man,” Derrick moaned. He watched his dad flip through channels until finally his dad stopped.
“The news!” Mr. Moorn cheered.
“Oh Dad, you’re evil!” Derrick cried. With an exaggerated sigh, he hopped off the couch and walked away. Had he stayed in that living room for just one more second he would have heard the following:
“There was an escape reported today from the Sothton Correctional Institute for Women. Reports say that the escapee is ex-journalist Rachel Meranst. She had been arrested for assaulting the celebrated hero, Superkid. She is dangerous. If you see her, please call us immediately."
On the screen, a picture of the Vampire’s pale face and raven hair appeared. She was baring her long teeth like a hungry bat—an image that made Mr. Moorn shudder.
“That’s a strange-looking convict,” he said. “Looks like one of those devil worshipers.” Little did he know just how dangerous this woman was and what it meant for our diminutive hero. If this man had had any idea then he probably would have alerted Superkid or at least his son, who would then alert his superhero friend. Then Superkid could have stopped the evil before it could get started. But that would have been boring and made this story a little too short. No, instead we’ll feel the thrill of a disaster almost diverted and the mounting tension of the disaster that will happen.
Ooh! I’m getting goose-bumps already!