“It’s like an ocean.” Josh’s voice is filled with admiration. “The wavy limestone, the iron railings.” And the balconies look like twists of tentacles and seaweed. Though it’s possible that the weather is adding to our overall perception. Our eyes travel towards the unsheltered line of people waiting to get inside.
“That’s, uh, some crowd,” I say.
“And some rain.”
I glance at him and give a tentative shrug. “Next?”
He grins with relief. “I don’t want to waste a single minute of this day.”
I feel the same way, I think, staring at his dimples.
Kurt’s map walks us down the street towards a second Gaudí-designed house. We affix ourselves to the sides of buildings for protection from the rain, but it doesn’t matter. It soaks us anyway. “It’s your turn,” Josh says. “Tell me about your friends. Sanjita. What happened there?”
“So…you remember.”
“I remember that you were friends with her our freshman year. Did you split because she wanted to be popular? I asked Rashmi once, but she said her sister refused to talk about you.”
The stab to my heart is sharp and unexpected. “You asked your ex-girlfriend about my friendship with her sister?”
“Whoa. No. Not recently. While we were dating.”
“Oh.” Though I’m still confused.
Josh guides me below a neon-green cross, the sheltered entrance of a farmàcia. “Isla. I would never do that to you. I’ve had exactly one exchange with her since school began. About three weeks ago, she texted me to ask how I was doing. I told her I’m great, because I’m seeing you. She wished us well. She’s dating some dude at Brown.”
I wish this knowledge wasn’t as welcome as it is. I try not to think about Rashmi. I try not to think about her and Josh in my room last year. I try not to think about how they probably had sex in my bed. And maybe my shower. And maybe my floor, too.
I try.
Josh interprets my silence as a need for further explanation. “I spent some time with her family one summer. Sanjita was acting out, and I could tell she was depressed. That’s why I asked Rashmi about you guys. So what happened?”
I’ve never told anyone this story before. It takes me a minute to gather my courage. “She’s the only female friend that I’ve ever had, apart from my sisters. When I showed up at our school…I didn’t even know how to make friends.”
Josh removes my hands from my coat pockets. He pulls me closer.
“I mean, Kurt and I were friends before we even knew what the word meant. So it felt like a miracle when Sanjita wanted to hang out with me. And we had fun. And we could talk about boys, and she was interested in fashion, and she was emotional. She was the anti-Kurt. So I should’ve known what would happen when he joined us the following year, but I didn’t. I thought my friends would automatically become friends with each other through…I don’t know. The divine egotistical magic of me.”
Josh winces. “I’m sorry.”
“So he comes to Paris, and she’s embarrassed by him. And I can tell that she wants me to ditch him, and he keeps asking me why she doesn’t like him, and…I’m just stuck between the two of them.”
“Like you were with Sébastien.”
“Worse, because this came first. I wasn’t expecting it.” My voice catches. “Sh— She made me choose. She actually said it. She said Kurt was holding us back.”
He squeezes my hands. “Kurt would never ask you to choose.”
“I know.” Tears spill over my eyes. “And that’s why I chose him.”
Josh looks for something to dry my tears, but we’re already so wet that it’s pointless. We laugh as he tries to dry them with the inner sleeve of his hoodie.
“I’m sorry that happened,” he says. “I’m sorry she hurt you.”
I shrug at my boots.
“If it makes you feel any better? Sanjita was miserable for, like, a full year after you guys stopped hanging out. Even after her social-climbing aspirations had been met, and she’d become friends with Emily. I think she still has regrets about what she did.”
“I know she does. When I look at her, I see them, too.”
“Do you have any regrets?”
“Only that I stopped trying to make new friends. Between her and Sébastien? Ugh.” I give our connected hands a single swing. “But someone recently taught me that not everyone is so judgemental.”
Josh shakes his head. “I don’t know. I can be pretty judgemental.”
“Yeah, but…it’s like you’re on the right side of the law.”
He smiles.
I poke his chest. “You wanna see something cool?”
“I’m looking at it.”
“Shut up.” I laugh. “Turn around.”
We’re standing across the street from Casa Batlló, another Gaudí masterpiece. The surface is covered in ceramic-shard mosaics – aqua and cobalt, rust and gold – in rough, skinlike patterns. And it has another spectacular rooftop, an animalistic arch of metallic tiles that’s curved like the back of a mighty dragon. I like this building even more.
Josh’s eyes widen with speechlessness.
“See that turret with the cross?” I point to the roof. “Some people think it’s supposed to be the lance of Saint George who’s just slayed the dragon.”
“Architecture. Maybe this is your future.”
“It’s more art than architecture.”
“Same thing,” he says.
I ponder this, but if my interest was that strong, I’d want to rummage around through its insides. I’d want to inspect every angle from as close a vantage point as possible. “Nah,” I finally say. “I just like the story. And the way it looks.”
Josh places an arm around me. “Every art needs its connoisseurs.”
I happily burrow into his wet side.
“What’s next?” he asks, glancing at the clock on his phone.
I look at him in question.
He shakes his head, and we try not to be disappointed. It’s still too early to check in.
Sagrada Família is next. The map easily leads us to the closest transit station. The métro is an unaccented metro, but apart from that, it’s identical to its brother in Paris. When we exit the station, the rain has slowed to a drizzle. And then we see it. Casa Batlló may be a dragon, but Sagrada Família?
It’s a monster.
It wants me to cower. It wants me to weep. It wants to save my soul from hell. Gaudí started work on this church in the late nineteenth century, but it won’t be finished for at least another decade. It stretches twice as high as the tallest cathedrals of France. It looks like a fantasyland castle – wet sand dripped through fingers, both sharp and soft. Bright construction lights are everywhere, and workers are tinkering around its massive spires in dangerously tall cranes.
We circle the entire structure, shading our eyes from the rain, as we look skyward towards the figures that are carved into every inch of its facade. So much is happening, everywhere, that the overall style defies categorization. Some of the spires are topped with mounds of rainbow-coloured grapes, while the west side is austere and tormented, drawing the eyes to an emaciated Jesus on an iron cross. Stone women wail beside a pile of skulls at his feet. But then the east side is an abundance of life – humans and angels and animals and wheat – and topped by a green tree covered in white doves.
“It’s beautiful,” Josh says. “Fuck, that’s beautiful.” Something occurs to me. I’m off running. “Hold that thought!”
“Where are you going?” he shouts.
“I’ll be right back! Don’t move!” I dart across the street and down two blocks until I find a convenience store with a display of umbrellas beside their entrance. I grab the first one, pay for it, and race back with a cheap clear kiddie umbrella.
Josh is confused and upset. “Don’t you think it’s too late for that?”
I hold it above his head as I dig into his backpack. I toss him tomorrow’s T-shirt. “Dry your h
ands.” He obeys, and then I replace the shirt with his sketchbook and pen. “You have to draw it. When will you get another chance?”
“Isla, I…”
I zip up his bag, step aside, and hold the tiny shelter above his body.
He watches the rain roll down my face. “Thank you,” he says quietly.
I beam back at him. He kisses my cheek and then bends over his pages, further protecting them, as he uncaps his pen with his teeth. He draws quickly, and I have to urge him to slow down. I don’t mind the rain. He focuses on the dove-covered tree. “We have maybe two hours until sundown,” he says, after nearly twenty minutes of silence. “How are you doing? Are you cold?”
“A bit, but I’m okay. There’s only one more destination marked on our map.”
“Do we win a prize if we check off every box?”
“The grand prize.”
He raises an eyebrow as he caps his pen. “Then we’d better do it.”
We admire his drawing together. I like it even better than the real thing. I only see the beauty, not the accompanying fear. Everything Josh touches is beautiful to me.
He puts his sketchbook away as I search for our map. “Oh, no!” I glance in the direction of the convenience store. “I must have dropped it while I was running.”
“Do you remember its name?” He takes the umbrella and holds it over my head. “Not the convenience store. The name of our final destination?”
“Yeah, of course.”
Josh smiles. He unbuttons my coat, places his fingers against my collarbone, and fishes out my necklace from below my dress.
It’s incredibly sexy.
He holds up the compass. “Then we’ll find the Right Way.”
Chapter seventeen
We take the metro north and emerge into a neighbourhood that’s emptier and dirtier. No one exits the station with us, and there are no street signs for our last destination.
“Is this the right place?” I ask.
Josh scratches his head. “I think so. Let’s try up there.”
He points towards an area that looks less barren. We hike up the street, sharing the umbrella as best we can. The drizzle has turned into a fine mist. Weeds spill out through ruptures in the sidewalk. Everything feels abandoned. We finally chance upon a long hill with several grouped sets of stairs and escalators. Escalators. I’ve never seen them outside like this, sandwiched between residential apartments and souvenir shops. But despite these promising signs…the street is still deserted.
As we ride the rickety escalators, the mist gets lighter and lighter. And as we reach the top of the hill, it evaporates into a clear sky. Sunshine.
We tilt our heads backwards and marvel at the heavens.
There’s another, smaller hill across the street. “Looks like it’s right up there,” I say.
With a burst of energy, Josh scoops me over his shoulder and runs towards it. I scream with laughter. He shouts with mad glee. I pound on his back with my fists, but he doesn’t set me down until we’re through the gates and on the summit. He throws up his arms in triumph. “I win!” And then he buckles like a weak hinge. “I’m dying.”
I grin. “Serves you right.”
Josh lifts his head. “Oh, yeah?” And then he sees my expression change as I notice what lies behind him. He turns to look. His entire body straightens in astonishment.
We’re not just at the top of the final hill. We’re at the top of Barcelona.
The jumble of the city stretches to every corner of the horizon, sharp rectangles of brown and grey and yellow and red. Towering above it all are the spires and construction cranes of Sagrada Família, but directly below us, there’s a seemingly endless path winding its way down through a landscape of Mediterranean greens.
Parc Güell.
In the far distance, we can see the turrets and sculptures that Gaudí designed for this park – and its accompanying crowds – but, up here, everything is trees and serenity. The air is so fresh and clean that my lungs are surprised. For the first time in months, the world stills. Since before Paris, since before New York…actually, I can’t remember the last time I felt such an overwhelming sense of calm.
“We must’ve come up the back way,” I say.
“We should lose the map more often.”
We wander down the main path in silence, our hands clasped together. I’m in awe. Several minutes pass before we see anyone else. It’s a young vendor with a blanket on the ground, attempting to sell feathery earrings to two Japanese women. Josh nods towards a narrow side-path through the trees. We take it.
I squeeze the water from my hair as we stroll, and he rubs a hand briskly through his scalp. Droplets fly everywhere. “Hey, now,” I say. “Watch where you aim that thing.”
Josh points his head in my direction and rubs harder.
“You are such a boy.”
“You love me.”
I smile. “I do.”
The air smells of mountains and pines. There are so many trees here. Cypress trees and olive trees and palm trees and mystery trees with plump red berries.
Josh holds out a hand to stop me.
And then I hear it. Behind a covering of bushes, a couple is having sex. My mouth opens in delighted shock. Josh laughs silently. We move ahead so as not to disturb them. There’s a good chance that they’re our age. Most European teenagers don’t have cars, and they often live with their parents through the end of college. Parks are somewhat notorious for amorous pursuits.
Josh gestures towards a secluded area, off path. He’s suddenly nervous.
But I was about to point it out, too.
It didn’t take long for the thought of the other couple to transfer onto us. We sneak through the foliage. I lean up on my tiptoes, our lips meet, and our bodies sink to the ground. Our hearts pound like crazy against each other. He unbuttons my coat, and his hands are around my back and under my dress. I wish I wasn’t wearing tights. But as quickly as our making out begins, he pulls away, gasping. “Never mind. Can’t do this. If we go any further, the stopping part will be excruciating. It already is.”
“I’m sorry.” I reach out to touch him, but he rolls away.
“No, it’s fine. Just…give me a minute.”
The other couple appears between the leaves on the nearby path. They sense our presence and giggle, exactly the reason why we’re waiting until our hotel room. I drape my coat over a thick branch to dry. I unzip my boots and strip off my wet tights.
Josh covers his face. “You’re killing me.”
I smile at him as I wring out the bottom of my dress.
He moans. “Unfair. Girls are so mean.”
I laugh. “Give me your hoodie. I’ll hang it up.”
Obediently, he takes it off. His T-shirt rises with it, and my eyes lock on the lowest portion of his abdomen until he readjusts it. My boyfriend doesn’t realize that he’s killing me, too. I hang up his hoodie and lie down beside him. We stare at the sky. His head rests against his backpack, and my head rests against his chest. The wind rustles, swirling the scent of pine around our temporary campsite.
“Your eyes remind me of pine trees,” Josh says.
“I always wished they were a brighter green. They’re so dull.”
“Don’t say that.” He kisses the top of my head. “Have I ever told you about the cabin?”
“Uh-uh.” I’m listening to his heartbeat.
“There was this cabin upstate that my family used to rent in the autumn – rough walls, stone fireplace, beds with patchwork quilts. The works. And when we were there, my dad would forget to be worried about politics, and my mom would forget to be worried about my dad. And we’d go hiking, and we’d pick apples from this abandoned orchard. And there’d be so many that we’d throw them into the creek just to watch them float downstream. And we’d play board games at night—”
“What games?”
“My favourite was Pictionary.”
I snuggle into him. “Of course.”
“M
y mom’s favourite was Cluedo, and my dad’s was Risk. And my parents would cook these home-style dinners like pot roast with mashed potatoes and baked apples—”
“From the orchard?”
“Yeah. And while they’d cook, I’d be spread out on the rug in front of the fireplace with these giant stacks of paper, and I’d draw. And…I’d look up, and my parents would be in the kitchen with this perfectly round window behind them. And all I could see outside of that window – from my position on the floor – were those pine trees.
“So I like pine trees,” he finishes. “A lot.”
I curl my hand around his thumb and squeeze it.
“What about you? Where were you the happiest?”
I have to think about it for a while. “Well, there was this one trip to Disney World—”
“Did you have mouse ears? Please tell me you had those mouse ears with your name stitched on underneath.”
I poke him. “No.”
“I’m gonna picture you with the mouse ears anyway. Continue.”
I poke him harder. “So Gen was ten, I was seven, and Hattie was four. Gen was adorable. She has those perfect corkscrew curls, you know? Plus, she was always in charge of everything. And Hattie was…Hattie. So they were getting all of the attention, like always, but then my parents surprised me with this Disney Princess breakfast. Just for me. And Belle and Snow White and Cinderella were there, and Jasmine told me that my dress was pretty, and that I was pretty, and it was amazing. My parents…they knew. They knew I was the one who needed it.”
“This,” Josh says, “is my new favourite story.”
“Of course, the whole thing was supposed to be a secret. But the second I saw my sisters, I was like, ‘Princess Jasmine thinks I’m prettier than you!’ Which wasn’t even true, but it felt true. Mom wanted to kill me, and Hattie threw this massive tantrum that lasted the rest of the trip, but it was worth it. Best day ever.”
“You are prettier than your sisters. You’re way prettier than your sisters.”
“That is…the most romantic thing that you’ve ever said to me.”
He laughs again. “It’s true.”
An unseen bird warbles, and another unseen bird answers its call. “You know,” I say, “I can’t remember the last time I was in a place where I couldn’t hear any traffic.”