When she got to us, she leaned over her knees, catching her breath. Trey took the opportunity to glance down the front of her shirt. I immediately stepped in front of him, blocking his view. He peeked around me, but Raquel had straightened by then. Glaring at him, like she’d noticed him peeking, she flipped her hair around her shoulders. “Last day. You guys excited for summer?”
Trey immediately said that he was. I gave her an inconclusive grunting sound for an answer. There were parts of school I was really going to miss, and I wasn’t ready to let go yet. Knowing where my heart was, Raquel rubbed my arm in sympathy. I discretely glanced at her long sleeves. Long, jagged scars were hidden underneath them, the result of a vampire-related attack, but everyone in the school, Raquel included, believed they were self-inflicted. Raquel was a much stronger person now after dealing with the harshness of the rumors that had swirled around her after the incident. Little wonder she was ready for a break from here.
Without discussing it, the three of us headed to the cafeteria to wait for school to start. Trey immediately went to the vending machine and hemmed and hawed until he found some sort of granola bar that looked edible. Our school was a “healthy” school, so all the snacks available were nutritious. And not a soda can in sight. That wasn’t really a big deal to me, but some of the kids constantly griped about it. Last year’s class president even won the election by making the wild claim that he could replace the bottled water dispenser with a pop machine. As Raquel plopped in her quarters and retrieved her mountain spring H2O, it was clear that the ex-president hadn’t been able to live up to that promise. Oh well. According to my American Government teacher, the entire debacle was a great example of how most electoral promises never came to fruition. Seemed like a jaded way to look at things, but I guess I didn’t have as much experience with that as my teacher.
I was full and content after my glass of blood, so I didn’t get anything. After Trey and Raquel had what they wanted, we found an empty table. The student body started filtering in, and I made note of all the familiar faces. Becky, the girl who sat behind me in Spanish. Charlie, the guy who always dozed off in science class. Mollie, the girl with lightning-fast fingers in typing. Watching her flying digits, I would have laid money that she was a mixed vampire like me. She smelled completely human though, so I seriously doubted it.
Russell Morrison also strolled into the cafeteria at one point. The blockhead senior looked like a king surveying his underlings. He cast Raquel a particularly nasty look, one that made the hairs rise on the back of my neck and a tickle of a growl start to form in the back of my throat. Gripping the edge of the table, I partially stood from my chair. I hated what he’d done to Raquel while they’d been dating—walking all over her, treating her like garbage. But I loathed the way he treated her now. His hard eyes looked down on her like she was dirt beneath his shoe, or maybe even lower than that. And he spread lies about her that would make hookers blush. Most of the cruelest rumors that circulated the school were because of him. Asshole.
Raquel noticed both his look and my reaction. “Still protecting me,” she quipped. “I can handle him, Julian. You don’t have to guard me.” She lifted her chin. “I’m a big girl.”
Letting my tension dissolve, I smiled at her newfound confidence. “I know. I just seriously hate him…I’d kick his ass even if you weren’t around.”
Trey held his hand up to me. “Yeah, you would!”
We bumped fists while Raquel rolled her eyes. “Well, thankfully he managed to graduate, so he’ll be gone soon.”
I nodded, equally grateful of that. Mid-nod, I noticed the woman who stole my breath entering the cafeteria. “Arianna,” I whispered, unintentionally.
Like she heard me, her golden-caramel colored head swung my way. Hazel eyes locked onto mine, and she gave me a small smile of acknowledgment. Just that tiny grin had my heart soaring, and the need to be near her drove me to action. Grabbing my bag, I stood from the table.
Oddly, Trey stood with me. “What are you doing?” I asked him.
He glanced over at Arianna and her friends. “I’m assuming you’re going over there to talk to Arianna, since you seem to have a thing for her.” I pursed my lips at his choice of words—I had a lot more than a “thing” for her, but Trey didn’t know that. Ignoring my look, Trey nodded at one of the girls with Arianna. “Her friend Sophie is hot, so I’m coming with you. Try and introduce us, okay?”
“Fine,” I muttered.
Raquel rolled her eyes at Trey, and then slowly started shaking her head. “Good luck, boys,” she said, her tone full of amusement.
Trey in tow, I walked over to Arianna and her friends. “Hey, Arianna,” I said, trying to sound casual.
“Hey, Julian.” Her voice was polite and friendly, but distant too. It lacked the depth of feeling behind it, and I missed that depth. So much. Looking between Trey and I, she added, “Glad it’s the last day of school?”
One of the girls Arianna was with snickered and said, “I sure am. I want to meet your new hot neighbor, Arianna.”
All of them started laughing, while my chest constricted so tight, I was sure I was having a heart attack. Hot neighbor? She couldn’t have a hot neighbor. Not now, before I’d convinced her to see me as something other than a friend. Another guy stepping into the picture too soon…it was the worst possible thing that could happen. I couldn’t lose her to someone else…I just couldn’t. “What…neighbor?” I asked, feeling stupid, confused, and inexplicably…hurt.
Arianna’s cheeks filled with color as she smacked her friend on the shoulder. “Nobody…it’s nothing…”
All I could do was stand there and stare at her. Was this how we ended? Arianna looked really embarrassed in the sudden silence, and I wished I could have played it cool, laughed…something…but my mind was spinning with worry. Trey was flashing glances between Arianna and me. Just as I thought to break the awkwardness of the moment by introducing Trey to the girl who’d caught his interest, he stepped forward.
“So,” he said to the group. “You guys going to Julian’s birthday party in a couple weeks? It’s going to be the party of the year.”
I instantly snapped my gaze to him. Birthday party? What birthday party? Trey winked at me, and I knew right then and there, I was going to regret letting him tag along.
The girls all looked at Trey dumbfounded, like they had no idea what he was talking about. That made sense, since this was the first time a party for me had ever been mentioned. To anyone. Including me.
All of the girls were looking at me now, and Arianna had an expression on her face that was close to interest. Could this be what shifted things for us? Make her see me as more than a friend? But crap…I couldn’t have a party. My parents would never agree to that.
“You’re having a party, Julian?” Arianna asked. Her eyes sparkled as she gazed at me. Goddamn it, how could I say no to that face?
Smiling bright, I tried to look completely at ease even though my insides were quivering with nerves. “Yep! Party…huge party… It’s going to be epic.” I felt like slapping myself on the forehead. What the hell was I doing? I never threw parties. I rarely even went to parties. In fact, the last one I’d gone to at Halloween had been a disaster.
The redheaded girl on Arianna’s left—Sophie, Trey’s newest love interest—narrowed her eyes at me. “Really? You’re having a party?”
I wanted to take it all back, but before I could, Trey interjected. “He sure is…and it’s open to everyone. Tell the whole school. I’m Trey, by the way. I’ll be there too…”
While the girls giggled, I felt like I’d just been slapped. Oh my God…he just invited the whole school to my house. Damn it…this was quickly getting out of hand. Needing to get away, I grabbed Trey’s arm and started pulling him back to the table. As we moved toward where Raquel was waiting for us, Trey told Arianna’s friends my home address, then said, “Two weeks from Saturday. See you guys there!” I’d never wanted to gag someone more in my life.
Crap, crap, crap. My parents were going to kill me.
I was pale when we eventually found our way back to Raquel. Trey was grinning ear-to-ear when we joined her, and Raquel’s face scrunched in concern. “You look sick, Julian. What happened?” Her gaze shifted to Trey, like she already knew this was his fault.
Dazed, I fell onto a hard, circular stool attached to the table. “Trey just invited…everyone…to a party…at my house.” He sat beside me and I instantly socked him in the arm. “What the hell were you thinking?”
Trey looked offended. “I was helping you, dude. You clearly wanted to see her again, and you clearly didn’t want her hanging out with her hot neighbor all summer. I was giving you an in.”
“By offering up a party at my house? A party my mom will never agree to?” I sank my head into my hands. “My mom’s gonna kill me.” And my dad, but my friends didn’t know about him. The story being sold to the public was that my dad was dead.
Trey cringed, looking apologetic, like he’d just realized he’d overstepped. “Sorry, dude. I wasn’t thinking about that. I just wanted you to have your happily ever after. But, hey, maybe it’s not a big deal. Maybe they won’t say anything, and no one will show up.”
All three of us glanced around the cafeteria, and I easily picked out Arianna and her friends. The three of them were filtered among the students, spread out in clumps. All of the clumps were hunched over, talking with one another, and sporadically, someone in each group would raise their head and look over at me. This wasn’t good. Wasn’t good at all. My family hid who we were by keeping a low profile, not by throwing the party of the year.
Just as I was wondering if I was going to have to enlist both Hunter and Nika’s help to fix this, Arianna met eyes with me. She again had a thoughtful expression on her face, like she was seeing something different in me. I wasn’t sure why, or what I should do about it, but I suddenly knew this party needed to happen. I needed to see Arianna outside of school. I needed her to come over and spend time with me one-on-one. And soon, before this “hot neighbor” became more than a hot neighbor.
Yes, this might be just what we needed. Maybe in a party atmosphere, she’d see what a cool, charming guy I was. Maybe I could be funny and witty and sweep her off her feet. Maybe she’d fall for me all over again. Maybe we could finally start over.
Hope blossomed inside me as I considered what this party could do for us. My mind made up, I decided this was happening. Now I just needed to convince my parents to let it happen. And I had a feeling that having Hunter and Nika wipe the minds of the entire school would be a much easier task.
BY THE END of the school day, rumors of a start-of-summer party had spread like wildfire over the school. The tiny detail of it being my birthday was all but lost as the news made the rounds. The various reasons being given for the party were both amusing and alarming. They ranged from rich parents out of town, to an about-to-go-to-jail party, to a dying kid’s last request to have a good time. The only thing that people were consistently getting right was my address; that was one detail nobody was messing up. The guest list was already massive, and there was still plenty of time before the party for extra guests to be invited. Shit. If the police were called because a mob showed up for my birthday, it might be my last birthday. Nika was going to piss herself laughing over this one.
On the bright side, the party gave me something to look forward to—one last chance to spend time with Arianna. I was on cloud nine when school ended, and I hadn’t expected to feel that way today. Both Trey and Raquel noticed my unusually perky mood.
Trey gave me an odd look as we sat on the steps leading into the gym. He was using his foot to push his skateboard back and forth on the cement; the wheels made a grinding sound like the mortar and pestle my grandmother used to mash herbs. “You high, man? ‘Cause I didn’t think you smoked.”
I pushed him away from me, into Raquel. “Just having a good day. Is that a crime?”
Raquel laughed as she dodged Trey’s body. “No, not a crime, but definitely weird coming from you. Especially lately. Your mood seemed to be getting darker and darker with summer approaching, but now you’re all rainbows and sunshine.”
She gave me a mocking smile that made me want to push her away too. I would have, if she was within reach. “The day turned out better than I thought, and I have good things on the horizon. That makes me cheery.”
I spotted Arianna walking toward her house on the other side of the graveyard and immediately leapt to my feet. “I’m gonna walk Arianna home. Catch you guys later.” I ran off to the sound of Trey wishing me good luck.
When I caught up to Arianna, she was already passed the first few rows of headstones. It irritated me that she was walking home after school now. I used to drive her when we were together. Nika had thought that was ridiculous since she lived so close to the school, but I’d wanted whatever excuse I could use to spend more time with her. And besides, she shouldn’t have to walk through a cemetery alone. Even to me that was a little creepy.
“Arianna, wait up!”
She turned when she heard my voice and I nearly choked on my breath. She was so beautiful. Her hair was more golden in color than it had been when we were together; there were streaks of blonde mixed with the creamy brown. She was growing it longer too. Last fall it had been in a cute, shoulder-length bob, but now it was approaching her mid-back. It was thick and luxurious, and I just wanted to tangle it around my fingers. I stuffed my hands into my coat pockets instead.
A strange expression crossed her face as she stared at me. The look was both intrigued and amused. “You don’t have to keep walking me home, Julian. I can walk a hundred yards by myself, you know.”
I grinned at her often repeated remark. “I know. You can do anything you set your mind to.”
As I gazed at her, my heart seeped into my eyes. I knew I shouldn’t let it, since we weren’t at that level yet, but I couldn’t stop the reaction; she meant the world to me. Arianna shifted her gaze to the ground, like seeing the adoration on my face made her uncomfortable. Knowing I needed to keep the mood casual, I closed my eyes and inhaled a cleansing breath, mentally clearing the love from my demeanor. Look normal, act normal. “So…new neighbor, huh?” I asked, opening my eyes.
Arianna coughed into her hand, and then looked up at me; there was a slight cringe to her face, like she was embarrassed to talk about another boy with me. “Yeah… His dad homeschools him, so he doesn’t get to hang around kids his age much. Mom thought it would be a good idea if I made him feel welcome…” Her voice trailed off and she kicked at a pebble on the ground as her gaze once again returned to her feet.
Hating the awkwardness I felt building between us, I tried to be mature and understanding. It was difficult. “That’s…really nice of you. I’m sure he…enjoys your company.” I know I did.
Arianna locked eyes with me, and that was when I realized just how much longing I’d imbued in that sentence. So much for causal. “Julian, do you…?” My heart sped up as I considered just what she might be about to ask me. Do I like you? Yes. Do I want to be with you? Yes. Would I do anything for you? Yes.
Her mouth snapped shut and her lips compressed into a tight smile. Clearly, she wasn’t ready to open that door yet, and a huge part of me was relieved that she wasn’t. Just her asking the question would forever alter what we were, and while I wanted out of this limbo, I wasn’t positive she’d be happy to hear that I had feelings for her—or that she’d reciprocate them. We weren’t there yet.
“Will you be at my party?” I asked, hoping I could successfully change the subject.
Relief lightened her face. “Ummm yeah, I was thinking about going. It should be fun.”
“Great,” I told her, keeping my smile contained to a small grin. Great? More like freaking amazing, but I didn’t want to scare her off by saying that.
As silence fell between us, we continued walking through the cemetery to her house. When we were in her back yard, I finally said, “I
really hope you come to the party. Maybe we’ll get a chance to talk…so we can, you know, get to know each other better, since we…haven’t known each other long.” Sadness crept over me as I traipsed across her lawn. We’ve known each other for years, you just don’t remember.
A strange, contemplative look crossed her face. “Yeah…although sometimes, it seems like I’ve known you longer than I actually have.”
Shock made me stand still. Arianna stopped with me, and she again looked embarrassed. “What do you mean?” I asked. Did she remember me?
Arianna frowned, and her brows furrowed in an adorable way. “Nothing, it’s just…a feeling, I guess.” She looked around her yard before continuing. “I know this is going to make me sound crazy, but I have these…blanks in my memory, these holes, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t remember what happened to me in those gaps. And when I try to fill the hole with something plausible, nothing feels right—like I’m trying to jam a square through a circle. But when I’m around you…it feels like, somehow you fit in those gaps…like…you’re the circle.” Her cheeks filling with color, she quickly stammered, “I don’t know why I feel that way, and I don’t know what it means, and like I said, it’s just a gut feeling I get sometimes, and it really freaks me out, and I can’t believe I told you about it…and now you think I’m nuts, don’t you?”
The fact that she was worried about my opinion of her made me feel like I could fly. But what she’d just said… If Halina hadn’t replaced every single one of her memories with something else, and she hadn’t been inside with her long enough to do that, then the “holes” Arianna was talking about made complete sense. The gaps would fade with the natural aging process, but right now, she must be really confused. And miraculously, somehow, her body, her emotions, her heart…a part of her knew that she should know me. It made it incredibly hard for me to not kiss her, to not tell her I loved her—to not tell her everything.